


Addicted

by FabbuSkull



Series: Sensitive Doors to Open [2]
Category: Sensitive Pornograph
Genre: Adult Trauma, Adulthood is a little bit worse, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Childhood Memories, Drama & Romance, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Emotionally Repressed, Familiy Support, Family, Family Reunions, Forced Prostitution, Hurt/Comfort, I promise things will get better, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide attempts, Like lots of sadness, Like this gets dark really quick, Love, Love Stories, M/M, Moving On, Panic Attacks, Past Abuse, Past Relationship(s), Past Sexual Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Proposals, Protective Seiji is a scary Seiji, Rape, Rape/Non-con Elements, Reunions, Romance, Sadness, Sexual Violence, Sickness from stress, Trauma, Trust Issues, Unbelievably Supportive Seiji Yamada, Unfinished Business, You Have Been Warned, You think Sonos childhood was shit, coming to terms
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-21
Updated: 2020-03-10
Packaged: 2020-07-09 17:54:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 12
Words: 139,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19891930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FabbuSkull/pseuds/FabbuSkull
Summary: 15 years is a long time to force yourself to forget all the pain.15 years is a long time to try and move on from the mistakes from the past.15 years is a long time to push aside the memory of the person who nearly destroyed you and come close to attempting to live a better life.Unfortunately, Sono had waited 15 years too long.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome back to my twisted little series!
> 
> I have never been more excited to redo a sequel than I am for this one. And it's been a long time coming. I really wanted to just jump head first into this as it would not leave me alone for ages after finishing Life and Trials. 
> 
> It's going to be emotionally heavy and depressing beyond what I can really say, but it'll be so worth it in the end.

_"You touch him and I swear to god...I'll make you pay...I swear on my life, I will make you pay...stay away from him."_

_"Bold words coming from someone on their deathbed..."_

~Tokyo Japan, 5:25 am~

Smoke blew from the mans open mouth, alongside a small, exhausted chuckle. It had been an excruciatingly long day, though one he could be unusually proud of. 

17 hours to be exact. 17 long, beautiful hours of hard work and a successful outcome. He was actually quite impressed with himself. 

Sitting in the corner of the cold room, he took another long drag of his cigarette, while his other hand, soaked in crimson, clutched a necklace in his palm. He had held onto it for a while; perhaps right when the boy started begging for his life, tears in those beautiful eyes, his body trembling from the pain that was inflicted. When exactly, he wasn't too sure, but it was the only thing that was keeping his mind locked and in focus. Had he let go after his work was finished, he would've gone over his head, much like in the beginning, and had most likely risked getting caught.

Not to say he had never had this problem before. There had been many times he had finished and never once held onto the item like a lifeline...not for a number of years, anyway. Not since...what would've been his high school graduation...

He thought about that night a lot, more and moreso these recent months as he grew ever so closer to where he needed to be...back to the one he wanted more than anything....more than anyone...

He sighed heavily, leaning his head back to look out the window, seeing how the moon was slowly starting to set. It was time to go. Last thing he needed was to be here where the cops eventually showed up to check out his latest pieces of work. Crushing the smoke onto the pavement, he stood, getting the feeling back in his legs and stretched, the necklace still gripped in his palm.

He walked past the bodies, past the blood, past his favorite victim thus far, to his bag and knelled to open it, grabbing the last piece he needed to make this an absolute success. Years of planning had gone into this. Years of stalking, torturing, killing, all to get the information he so craved. Tonight was the final connection he needed and this was going to be the last piece of his puzzle.

Gripping a paper he pulled from his bag, he smiled and grabbed a red marker, making small changes to the paper. Turning it around, he scribbled something and quickly crumbled the paper, tossing it haphazardly across the room, not caring where it landed. They'd see it and they'd know...they'd know and he knew deep down they'd go looking for the one in the picture...to protect him...but it would be for nothing. 

Because Takeo was much smarter than that...he knew that Sono could not hide from him forever. A dark smirk came over his features at the thought of 'the one that got away', as he often puts it to himself. 

15 years of hiding from police, from the FEDS, anyone who would know his face thanks to that sluts father...15 years of careful planning to get to this point and now, in this building, these innocent bodies, the careful papers in his bag...Tokyo had seen enough of him. It was time to make his move...

He was done here; standing with his bag now slung over his shoulder, he finally turned his attention to the necklace in his hand, a locket to be more specific. He opened it and his dark smile softened, this thumb caressing the picture. Bringing the locket to his lips, he kissed it softly, his eyes darkening in the shadow of the room.

Yes...this really was the last piece of the puzzle. He had everything he needed. And now he had to truly consider the next stage of his plan. He needed to get out of this city..make his way West...get to Osaka...find him...reclaim him...

"...almost time...it's almost time..."

He stood there, the locket against his lips and frozen in his place, his dark eyes closing in thought. So many years he had seen his beautiful face...those brown eyes...such golden hair...

He would soil that angelic look.....this time, he would truly ruin him. 

In the distance, he heard the sound of an alarm going off. The police would be here in less than 20 minutes...it was time to go.

The shrill of the alarm gave him a slight headache as he bolted out the back window. They always did.

 _~_ 6:30 am~

"God damnit all..."

Officer Yakura Suruzawa removed his hat from his head, running his fingers through his hair and let out the most annoyed groan he'd let out in days, not even wanting to look around the building as his team worked endlessly with the scattered bodies. 

When he was promoted to Senior Detective 7 years ago and moved to the city of Tokyo, no where in his right mind did he expect his first (and possibly only) true case to be the finding of mass murderer Mizuno Takeo. He was getting much too old for cases like this. And while not every day was dedicated to tracking down the madman, it seemed like recently his activity was getting more and more...vibrant, for lack of a better term. Takeo seemed much more agile than he used to and it was proving to be more difficult to track the man down. 

Yakura sighed through his nose; All he wanted for today was just a quiet day of petty crimes.

Not cleaning up another mess left by Takeo Mizuno.

It was nearly the same with every call they recieved when it came to Mizuno and no matter how fast anyone responded, no one was able to get there in time. Takeo would be gone and all that would be left were bodies...bodies that, right now, were left the in the most provocative positions. Others were missing clothes and some were ever more brutalized than the others.

And of course, as with all Takeos work, there was one more torn up than the rest...a young blond man. This poor sap looked to be no older than 19 years old. Yakura noticed him when he first entered the building and almost had to take a step back...the kid looked like his back had been skinned clean...

"Disgusting..."

Yakura, annoyed with standing around, pulled out his notebook and jotted down the crime scene, the flashes of camera's from the forensics department somewhat blinding him....he shook his head and massaged his temples after placing his pad back into his pocket. The lack of coffee from being woken up so damn early was getting to him hard. They had been here fora little over an hour and he was already feeling like it was going to be a long day.

A tap on his shoulder made him turn quickly, only to see his young assistant, Oishi Muito, standing there with some files and a notepad. Yakura sighed again. 

"Give it to me straight. What is it we're looking at now?"

Oishi nodded and opened his own notepad, flipping through the pages and tilted his head, his red hair falling over his face and said, 

"All these people were employees at an administration center for most of the art schools around the Tokyo metroplex. They're the ones in charge of the main school near Shinjuku. You know, kinda like how the last ones were-"

"The admin officials in Kichijoji...what the hell is going on? Why is he all of a sudden attacking admin officials for liberal institutions? I don't get it."

Yakura ruffled his hair and paced back and forth, mumbling to himself over and over. The connections made no sense. Over the course of a few years, Takeo was only known as a serial killer in lower Japanese neighborhoods, killing street scum and evidently, people who spurned him the wrong way. Simple things, if one could call it that anyways. 

Now, he was making a pattern, murdering people in the art community. And not just murdering.

The most sickening things Yakura had seen in his 30 + years as a detective had come from Takeos file alone. And it had only just started to become a pattern for the last 5 years.

Killing art majors, admin officials from the best art schools all around Tokyo...it made absolutely 0 sense...

Turning to Oishi, who looked up at his mentor with a sharp stare, Yakura asked, mentioning to the boy near the front door, 

"And this kid? Who was he? He's too young to be an admin."

Oishi paled just slightly, but shook his head and went back to his notes, eyes flying past the pages as he stopped and said with a slight hint of morbid (and unintentional) glee, 

"Oh yes! um...his name is...was...Aoiki Haruka. He was an apprentice manga-ka for Nioku Kengo. Why do you ask, sir?"

Yakura stared hard at the kid, feeling his stomach churn at the sight of the boys back...he could only imagine what the other victims went through, but this kid...he looked so young. Fresh into University and this is what he was subjected to...shaking his head, the man looked back to Oishi and said, 

"So far, all I've come to understand about Takeo and his game here is that lately he's been targeting artists...and if there's a blond man present, he does even more horrible things to them...I think this one is the youngest I've seen...look what's been done to him..."

Oishi said nothing, but followed his mentors gaze to the boy on the ground, now being examined by medics. He winced, still not being totally used to the sight of a corpse this mangled. Well...almost mangled. The skin of his back was mostly torn clean off, yellow hair stained in red and his eyes were open...Oishi wanted to cry for the kid...the pain he must've felt was horrifying...

One of the medics stood suddenly and wiped her hands, turning to them both and Yakura, who had been eyeing her the entire time, asked,

"What are we working with?"

She sighed grimly and said,

"About the same. All the victims here were either shot down or strangled down...mostly the former. But this one...the poor boy...it looks as though he was stabbed numerous times in the stomach. His back from the neck down...skinned and ripped apart... and these hand prints around his neck show he had been one of the few that were strangled...but the other difference that I can find is..."

She hesitated and Yakura could see she was trying not to tremble. He felt for the woman, truly he did. Most of the team he worked with were still fresh and new to these sorts of cases. Poor Oishi had only been his assistant for a little under 2 years and the young man still got sickly over the 'cleanest' of murder scenes. 

But with all that said, Yakura cleared his throat, prompting her to continue with a trembling sigh, 

"We noticed blood in the back of his jeans and well...we won't know until we get the official statement, but he looks as though he was...brutally raped as he was dying..."

As with most of the news he received from his team regarding their finds in Takeos murder scenes...Yakura was left speechless, his tired eyes turning to the boy who suffered so much worse than anyone else in this building...but why...why all of a sudden was that monster attacking yellow haired men like this? It came from no where it seemed, the first victim a poor 17 year old student...he was found near a river bed, naked and cold, scared and in so much pain...Yakura had never felt more ashamed in his life when he heard the boy died at the hospital...his heart went out to that family, though he could say nothing as they mourned their only son, who suffered and died in such a horrible fashion. 

He turned quickly to get away from the scene for the time being, not allowing the others to see the hurt in his eyes. With a shuddering breath, Yakura pressed a finger to his chin, collecting his thoughts, closing his eyes and tried to piece everything together. 

" _I don't understand. Years ago, Takeo was just a thug, a lowlife nothing. Now...now he's getting crafty, leading us on goose chase after goose chase. It's like he knows we were no where close to catching him before...and now it's impossible to find a lead. Art majors...administration officials for the best art schools in Tokyo...the brutal treatment of men with blond hair specifically...goddamnit, where's the connection...?"_

He bit the knuckle of his finger, trying to put it together in his head, all leading to nothing. There was no solid reasoning that he could find. What was missing?

Meanwhile, Oishi was scouting the area, writing down anything he could find worth mentioning to his already stressed out mentor. Ever since he had been placed in Yakuras care, Mizuno Takeo was his top priority. He had always been Yakuras number one goal, ever since that poor student in Shibuya....Oishi had not been under Yakuras care at that time, but once he read the story about it, the young man was determined to catch the madman at all costs. And all the research Oishi had done on the subject came up short, almost like he wasn't supposed to find anything on the man. The way the sites were blocked off...like someone was hiding him away. 

"Oi, Oishi! Come take a look at this!"

Pulled from his thoughts, he walked over to the forensics tech and watched as he pulled a piece of paper from under a chair with a pair of tweezers. Almost instantly, Oishi pulled some gloves from his pocket and slipped them on to take it.

It was crumbled and slightly dirty, so Oishi opened it, wiping off some of the dirt. Upon staring at it, his eyes widened for a split second before looking around for Yakura, watching as the man stepped out of the building with that 'look' on his face...a look of shame. 

Once outside, the older man stared up at the sky, watching the clouds go on such a dark morning. It was hard to believe that the people of this neighborhood were fast asleep while a terrible crime was committed right across the street. God, he wanted a cigarette....he left his pack on his desk at home after leaving in such a rush...this morning could not get any worse...

"Yakura-san, we found something you should see."

Spoke too soon, he gathered. 

Hearing Oishis' voice did make him jump a bit, but he relaxed enough to see his assistant hand him what looked to be...a picture? A crumbled picture, but a picture all the same.

Curious, Yakura removed a single glove from his pocket to slip on his hand and took it, staring at it. Upon closer inspection, his own eyes widened in shock, turning to his wide eyes assistant, asking, 

"Where...where did you find this?"

"The forensics team found it. What is it though?"

Yakura laughed...a laugh that sounded manic. Oishi stepped back for a second, but gaped as he mentor turned to him suddenly, grasping both of his shoulders and gently shook him, a wild look in his eyes. 

"It's a goddamn clue, is what it is! Finally! Haha! After 5 freaking years, a piece of solid help! I can't fucking believe it! We've never been this damned lucky in our whole lives! Now we just need to find out who these three people are."

Oishi, still reeling after being shaken so much by his boss, shook his head a little before turning his attention to the photo, tilting his head in curiosity.

In the picture, it showed three boys, all in high school uniforms. On the left was a boy with wild brown hair. The one in the middle was pale, with bright yellow hair....much like the victims... And the right was another pale boy with pitch black hair and deep blue eyes...almost like...

Oishi snatched the picture back and scoffed loudly, saying, 

"Takeo? No way...this can't be right. The Takeo we know is almost 35 years old...but this looks like it was taken ages ago."

Yakura scoffed in return before taking the picture back, looking it over a few times before rubbing his neck and said, 

"Maybe it's an old photograph. Maybe it's something from Takeos past and he dropped it....though I doubt he'd just casually leave something like this behind...something tells me he wanted us to find this. The question is why? And why is one of the boys marked with an X and the other is just a circle?"

"Well...I don't know about that, but there's something written on the back too."

"What?"

Yakura quickly turned the photo over and instantly caught what Oishi was seeing. In bright red ink, much like the ink used in the actual photo, were 4 simple words. And for reasons Yakura couldn't fathom, they sent a chill down his spine.

_'Together...now and forever'_

Huh...well...curious is and curious will ever be...what in the hell did that even mean? Turning his head to his assistant, Yakura asked, 

"Oishi...does it sound at all familiar?"

Sadly, the young man shook his head and gave a poor stare. 

"Nope. Not in the slightest."

Because of course not....why would he?

"Damn...the one piece of evidence we get and it's a picture with some stupid quote. Fuck...do we even know where this was taken?"

Oishi took the picture back slowly and gave it a long stare, almost as if he was processing it deep in his brain. Yakura gave him his time to think, as if watching the actual gears turning in his brain and finally, after a good few seconds, Oishi tilted his head and said,

"It looks like...Hanamiyama Park. If I remember correctly, it's in Fukushima. That's a nice park, especially when the cherry blossoms start blooming, like in this picture. Ahhh I remember when I was young I went to this park. It was so pretty! And-"

Oishi stopped talking when he felt his mentor grip his arms once again, shaking him much more vigorously and with a sparkle in his eyes. This time, the young man flushed as his mentor snatched the picture once again out of his hands and proclaimed loudly, 

"Oishi, you're a goddamn godsend, you know that?! I've never been to Fukushima before so I never would have known that! Shit there's so much to find out...we need to find out what school these boys went to. With any luck, someone from back then should still be there! We have no time to lose, we have to go!"

The young man had no time to gush at the compliments spewing from his mentors mouth as he was pulled down the street to the nearest taxi station, the flush still on his face as Yakura phoned the Fukushima police department, demanding they speak to the chief. He didn't give a reason as to why as he hung up quickly and got on the phone with the Tokyo International Airport, booking two coach tickets for their next flight to Fukushima. 

~Fukushima, Japan, 3:16 pm~

"What do you mean you won't help us?! We've been waiting here for hours to talk to you and you're just going to push us away?!"

The chief of police didn't say a word to them. He simply pulled out a cigarette, lit it and sighed, smoke lifting from his mouth.

Yakura was beginning to lose his patience; ever since they had arrived in Fukushima, it was as if they had 'Takeo' written all over them. The aura that surrounded them had people avoiding them, gave them strange looks, rushing off when they approached to ask simple questions. It had taken them over 20 minutes to convince their driver to take them to see the head of the police...not that it was any better from there. 

They ended up waiting for hours just to speak with the chief and when they finally...FINALLY...made it into his office, he refused to talk the moment they brought up Takeos name....for fucks sakes...it was insufferable.

Even Oishi, as level headed and polite as he was, was staring to get frustrated, fidgeting in his seat, sensing his mentors irritation and tapped his foot against the floor, eyes locked onto the chief. 

The chief crushed his cigarette in his ashtray, not really bothering to look at them for more than a moment before sighing, lamenting, 

"Listen, I'd love to help, truly I would...but I'm not sure how much help I could be with a subject like this. Takeo is...not the best thing to happen to this city."

Yakura tried hard to keep his calm as he stood up, pushing his chair back suddenly and said loudly, 

"But that's why we want to help! He's causing massive panic throughout most of the smaller districts in Tokyo and a huge terror in the metro. If we don't stop him soon, I'm not sure what else we can do! There's got to be something! Anything!"

The chief gave a hard glare to the man who was unnecessarily yelling in his office, but he backed down and leaned in his chair, graying brown hair covering his face a little as he said softly, 

"You're nice detectives, I can see that. But if this is such a hot button issue in Tokyo, which to be honest, I'm not even sure why Takeo would be there, then why don't you do your own research on him?"

Oishis ears picked up on that middle bit and his gears started turning. And before Yakura could say anything, he spoke up,

"Believe me, chief, I have tried to gain any information I can about Takeo but everywhere I go, there's something blocked. All I remember is it's blocked by some big sponsor...god I can't remember the name...Hana...Hanas-"

"You mean, Hanasaki? Am I right?"

At the sound of that, both Oishi and Yakura let out collective sighs of relief...while neither noticing how the chief suddenly paled...Oishi grinned in triumph, saying,

"Yes! Thank you! That has been bugging me for weeks now. Kenji Hanasaki. That's whose been blocking my research. Phew. Do you know where we might find him? He could hold some vital-"

The chief suddenly slammed his fist down, startling them both. Oishi yelped loudly and Yakuras eyes widened at the sound. It was so sudden and so forceful that it actually knocked off several papers and other hard objects off the desk. And the level of fiery force that came from the chiefs tone was enough to make even a seasoned officer like Yakura shake just a little bit. 

"You will not, I repeat...you will NOT speak to Hanasaki Kenji about this. There are plenty of reasons why he blocked off much of the information behind Takeo....Look, I've had enough of this. Get out of my office. You've wasted my time and I will not have you waste his. Is that understo-"

Yakura stopped him quickly, pulling the picture from his coat pocket, not willing to go without a fight and said, with an equally fiery tone in his voice, 

"Can you at least tell us who these boys are then? I'm fairly sure this one is Takeo, but who are the others? Sir, believe me, I understand this is probably a bit painful, but I'm asking, as a fellow upholder of the law...at least help us with this."

It was silent for a moment, though the air was hot around the three men. Yakura and the chief glared daggers at each other, neither looking away, all while Oishi stared at his mentor with such adoration and beaming eyes. This is why he joined the force....this is why he was so excited to work with Yakura... To be this passionate about cracking a case and helping people....reading about what happened to that boy...that poor child...Oishi knew that unless Takeo was found and brought to justice, many other young men would fall to the same fate. He couldn't let that happen. He wouldn't. He knew Yakura wouldn't allow it to happen either. He was more than prepared to stay in this city, in this office, for as long as it took until they got some solid answers. 

It seemed the chief understood that as well...seeing as how he closed his eyes and slumped in his chair, pulling out another cigarette and even offered to the two men. Oishi declined while Yakura eagerly snagged one. Finally, after a brief moment of silence and lighting up his smoke, the chief exhaled, pointing to one of the boys in the picture, saying with a tremor in his voice, 

"This one here is Nazawa Naoki."

His finger slid to the middle of the picture,

"And this is Hanasaki Sono. They were both students at the private high school up in North Fukushima. God...that was 15 years ago."

Yakura smiled, suddenly so excited to finally be getting solid information, jotting it down in his notes while Oishi spoke up, curiously asking, 

"Hanasaki? As in the same Hanasaki we were talking about? This is his son?"

The chief scoffed and nodded, saying, 

"Yeah...yeah, he is. His youngest, actually... Kenji has two sons. His oldest, Oto, is a high class lawyer up in Tokyo. I'm sure you know of him."

Yakura nodded, feeling a little stunned for not catching the connection of the names for a moment. 

"I do. He's the person who is funding this Takeo case. He's not a cop by any means, but he has much of the Tokyo police department in his pocket due to his legal help with the Mayor."

The chief nodded back to him, as if expecting that answer, staring at the picture and gave a sad smile....a knowing...sad...smile.

"That sounds like Oto...so determined to follow in his fathers stead and be the best he can be. That entire company was founded on helping people in more ways than just for legality...I'm happy to hear Oto-kun has taken that step all the way in Tokyo...he always was the most eager for that position..."

The man stopped for a moment, pressing a hand against his mouth, as if holding back a shuddering breath, shaking his head and picked up his cigarette, inhaling quickly before continuing his thoughts.

"Sono is a different story, I'm afraid. The youngest and probably the most...damaged. He's had such a difficult life. Ever since Takeo, no doubt he's lived much of it in paranoia. I'm not surprised in the least that Sono hasn't come back here to see his family. Too many dark memories."

Oishi looked up to Yakura for a moment, nodding his head and turned back to the chief, asking quickly, 

"Sir, Hanasaki is still around? And Naoki too? Do you know where we can find them? They might have valuable information and-"

The chief looked at him with such a grim stare, followed by a sad laugh, confusing both men...

"You're not getting anything out of these two...Sono left years ago and hasn't looked back since. And Naoki...well..."

Yakura and Oishi leaned in their seats to hear the chief as he was starting to whisper. When he had gone silent, Yakura mentioned,

"And Naoki sir? Is he?"

A sob masked as a cough left the chiefs lips, wiping his eye quickly and scoffed to himself, resting his elbows on his desk and inhaled another lungful of smoke, the shudder in his tone horribly clear as he responded.

"He died. He was killed protecting Sono from some thugs that were hired by Takeo. It's actually.....really sad. Naoki had told me how he wanted to marry Sono right out of high school...I saw how in love they were...I saw how happy they made each other, only for it to be stripped away so quickly....I can't...I can't imagine the guilt Sono's live with all these years. I never wanted him to think it was his fault. I hope he's learned to move on...I know he's pushed himself through such trails and look what he achieved... Highest Honor student at the best damn art school in Tokyo....Naoki would've been so proud and-"

The chief cleared his throat, stopping his talking halfway and the two Tokyo detectives stared at each other, then back at the chief, who glared at them hard, letting out a heavy sigh.

"I guess I don't have much of a choice...I've already told you this much. But listen here. Whatever I tell you, you must understand that I am more concerned with what you do with this information. Clear?"

After getting a clear nod from the two, the chief continued...starting with another cigarette.

"Do either of you know what it's like...when you get ready for work one afternoon, the day as calm as it could be. Of course, you'd get a weird pang in your chest, as if something was terribly wrong, but you ignore it. Push it aside as nothing....then you get a phone call....from your sons best friends father...telling you that they've been hurt...shot..."

The chief sets his hand on the window, his other hand crushing his smoke...Yakura said nothing and Oishi looked on in worry, almost afraid of what the man would say next.

"I don't suppose either of you have kids...so you won't know what it feels like...to be told your only son died protecting his friend. To know that you outlived your own child and have to live with the soul crushing guilt it leaves. To see the person he died saving and know that deep down, it wasn't his fault, but you want to place to blame on someone...only to forever hate the real cause of his death and vow to never have it happen again..."

The air suddenly grew thick and Yakura turned to his assistant, who he could already tell had put the pieces together quickly. They didn't need to say a word as the chief continued.

"When Naoki died and I found out later through Kenji that it was Takeo who killed him...I felt my soul tear into two. Sono and Takeo both...they were Naokis best friends...I...I knew Takeo dropped out of school and that Naoki had to step up and take care of Sono because of it...but I never thought...I never though Takeo could be capable of something so terrible...and Sono...my god..the pain he went through that night....He blamed himself for Naoki's death and most likely still does, even after knowing the truth... After Sono left for University, I sold my shop and busted my ass through police training, eventually becoming the chief, vowing to protect this city, working alongside Hanasaki-san, to be sure nothing like that ever happens again....I promise to my sons grave every day that what Takeo put this city through...put Sono through...I swore on my life to put Takeo down in some way...and the fact that you two show up here with this makes me sick to my stomach but in a way, it's a blessing. Maybe this can finally be put to bed."

Finally, the chief got up from his chair, prompting the other two men up with him, and said,

"Naoki told me the night he died that Sono was the love of his life, how he wanted to protect him and be his everything. If you both could truly see how in love my son was with him...how truly in love Sono was with Naoki in return...I...I should've seen it sooner....and I should've seen Takeo's rage from a mile away...fuck...give me the picture...I need to see it again."

Oishi handed the picture to the chief with a shaking hand and they both watched as he turned it over, seeing the writing and his brow furrowed. Turning the picture back around to face the boys, he said,

"Well, I can tell you that's Takeos hand, alright. But I'm more concerned with what he wrote. It's like a threat."

"A threat sir?"

"On graduation night, oh about 15 years ago, Takeo had beaten Sono within an inch of his life. At some point during their senior year, Naoki told me they had broken up and then he randomly comes home in tears, but wouldn't tell me why. Only for Kenji and myself to find out our sons were in a secret romance with each other... and I guess Takeo found out about it and become jealous...insanely jealous...from what I had heard, Takeo gave him a chance to get back together with him and Sono turned him down, resulting in the...well, yeah. Sono would've died had it not been for Kenji stepping in and shielding his son. He almost had the chance to kill Takeo, but he got away and that was the last Fukushima saw of him since...that can only mean one thing...where did you say you found this?"

Up until now, both men were stunned silent by all the new information suddenly being tossed at them so quickly. They hadn't expected this quick of a development in this case and to hear that not only the chief had such a connection to Takeo that they hadn't even considered...it was all piecing together, if only slightly. 

Yakura cleared his throat and answered the mans question diligently, 

"We found it at our most recent crime scene. Takeo usually never leaves us traces of him so this was quite the surprise."

The chiefs brow rose at that, clenching his fists against his desk, countering with, 

"And you said he was targeting art majors? Administration officials for art schools in Tokyo? Something about a terrible fate for men with blond hair?"

Oishi nodded enthusiastically and Yakura simply nodded. The chief ran his hands through his graying hair. Yakura spoke up first, clearing his throat again and as he spoke, he found his eyes getting wide with shock and realization.

"You mentioned before that Takeo has had a sick obsession with Sono for years...since they were kids...their separation and Sonos romance with your son must've made it even worse...he must be being especially sadistic towards blond haired men to hopefully satisfy his craving to...to...art majors...it makes sense. Sono was an art major in the Tokyo Art Academy according to you..he graduated and the admins would have old records of graduated students...there's the connection. Holy shit, that's the connection!"

Yakura jumped so suddenly that his chair flung backwards, his eyes wide and unbelievably astounded as his own discover, all while Oishi, who stared at him with energized enthusiasm, jumped next to him and listened to his mentors rambled findings, getting more and more excited as he spoke. 

"Takeo isn't just targeting these people for new kicks! He's killing them for information...the blond haired men we find...they look like Hanasaki Sono...he's doing it for nostalgic pleasure and...and...the admin records. If he had access to those...he could get access to where Hanasaki might be living now, where he works and..."

Oishio gasped loudly and proclaimed,

"Takeo is moving this new pattern because he's looking for Sono-kun! And if he finds him-"

"-there's no telling what he could do...he'd hurt him...holy shit, he'd kill him. He'd kill him worse than the men we find at the crime scenes."

Yakura turned so suddenly and slammed his hands on the chiefs desk so loudly that even the chief jumped in surprise, not expecting this level of enthusiasm. Both men were rambling on and on in such stupid glee and for a moment, the chief was starting to get a headache from all their noise. Finally, Yakura turned quickly and took the chiefs hands in his, shaking them wildly and said,

"Chief, you've been such a huge help! Thank you so much for this incredible lead! We...we have to find Hanasaki-kun. He needs to know this. He needs to get into protection and-"

"Do you two even know where to start looking?"

...

A pause...a deafening pause...

The adrenaline rush Yakura had came crashing at that realization and he almost sunk to his knees in defeat. Of course they hadn't thought that far yet. Oishi leaned against the doorway, trying to clear his head. What kind of detectives were they? Getting excited over this and yet with no knowledge of where they were supposed to go. It was academy mistakes; they knew better. 

"Heh, you two are by far the most interesting pair of Tokyo cops I've ever met...listen, if you're going to look for Sono and all that, I ask you do me one favor and one favor only."

Yakura turned his head slowly, almost baffled at the laughter coming from the chief at his desk, seeing how he sat back down and regarded them with a small smile. Oishi blushed and looked away for a moment, playing with the pen in his pocket. That smile spoke volumes and he spoke up quicker than he should have. 

"Anything, Chief! What is-"

"Nazawa."

Oishi blinked and Yakura looked confused; the chief chuckled and said, suddenly getting somber and serious, 

"Call me Nazawa. I figure if Kenji is getting updates from Oto and you're the actual updates, it's better we get on a better name basis...but going back to that promise...all I want is for you to protect him. I don't care if he's got some girlfriend or boyfriend or whatever. You find him...protect him and take Takeo down. I want this bastard brought to his knees for what he's done."

Oishi stood up straight and saluted the Chief, nodding with a smile.

"You can count on us, sir!"

Yakura nodded and the Chief nodded back, then reached into his desk, pulling out what looked to be a manga.

"There isn't much on Sono Hanasakis location since he up and left this place after graduation, but I've come to realize that it's not as hard as some people make it out to be to find others, especially if they've got a career that caters thousands of people. If you want to find him..."

The Chief held a manga in front of them and both cops eyes widened. It was a manga called "Horizon's Outlet". The manga-ka was Hanasaki Sono.

"...start with his publisher."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a tedious situation with an overloaded work schedule. 
> 
> AKA my jobs a crock of crap and cuts into my writing time. 
> 
> Here you go XD

The sun had only just started setting over the buildings of the city, creating a beautiful orange glow over the glass windows. People had begun to leave work for the day, making their way to the subways or buses to go home to their families, enjoy a night of peace...or the ones who would return to an empty house, silent to themselves as they ate their small dinners and either lamented or content in their solitude. 

In other cases, many young adults would go out with friends or colleagues to bars or restaurants, just to take the load off of a busy day or an even busier week. 

This was one of those cases in which Seiji was just done with his work load and could only think of taking a breather away from all things manga, even if it was just for an hour. He left his office building with a heavy sigh on his lips, phone in hand and occasionally looked up to the sunset, only slightly irritated that he stayed so late for another pointless meeting that could've just been a long group email. The meeting had consisted of proper quotas being met and how a select few of the manga-ka would be interviewed in the next few days....Seiji groaned almost too loudly when he saw he was one of them. It wasn't as if he hated being interviewed almost every other month, but this would be something not regarding his newest work that he had spent ages on...

No, this would be regarding something he had mentioned in a previous article written about the love lives of the others in his publication office...and how he mentioned he wasn't so much 'seeing someone' as he was deeply involved emotionally...that certainly got the rumor mill going and now he was paying the price for it. It was a talk he was going to have to bring up later, but for now, he'd push it aside just for some peace of mind. 

Finally opening his phone and peered through his messages, his brown eyes lite up as he saw a text that came in only a few minutes ago...he smiled. 

_' Just left my meeting with my publisher; heading to the cafe now. See you soon <3'_

Ahh that's right. If Seiji's company had meetings like the one he had today, then it stood to reasons Sonos would have the same...hopefully, he wasn't on the receiving end of an upcoming interview. His smile softened at the heart Sono left at the end of his text and his heart skipped a beat. The blond was slowly becoming a bit more comfortable with him again, sending cute little messages like this and even went so bold as to send Seiji pictures on days he was off....the younger man was not ashamed to say he had saved every picture his lover sent him throughout his work day....one of them was even his home screen and was very cautious of other people seeing it. And it wasn't even a sexy picture, nor it wasn't even a selfie of the blond....it was unbelievably wholesome.

It was a picture of them together Sono had apparently taken one night at his place. They both had suffered a long day of heavy meetings and interviews, combined with the load of their work being doubled and both assistants calling out sick. Seiji had come over with the intent of helping Sono with his work, but ended up passing out on the couch the moment he sat down. Apparently, the blond had thought this to be cute and snuggled up close to him, snapping a photo on his phone and sent it to the man the next day while he was working with his friends...needless to say, Seiji had flushed hard over it and saved it immediately, smiling every time he stared at it. 

That and the text he was looking at made him smile just a bit more, beaming from ear to ear as he typed back quickly, 

_' Just left mine too. Hope your meeting was better than mine. I should be at the cafe in a few minutes. Missed you all day! :)'_

Seiji sent the text and shut his phone with another sigh, though it was graced with a smile and a crack of his neck. The week was finally over and he could spend Friday night with the man he loved so much. And the timing could not be more perfect. With both of them finalizing their newest volumes (or Seiji coming close to finishing), they would eventually have some free time to do what they wanted. Which was nice...considering the emotional moment they shared only a few weeks back....Seiji's smile faded just a little at the memory. 

3 weeks since he pulled up that horrible article...3 weeks since Sono told him everything he could about this life and 3 weeks since Sono had his emotional break down in front of him...in those 3 weeks, Sono had been unusually reclusive and soft spoken, not making much of an effort to do anything outside his apartment, not that Seiji could blame him. No doubt the blond was still mentally exhausted from the strain of truly letting someone in after 15 years of keeping it all locked up. 

But evidently, that didn't stop the blond from being so....active...with Seiji every time they met up. Though, if nothing else, their sex life became just a bit more vanilla since that night. Again, not that Seiji was complaining. He rather enjoyed holding his lover close to him as they had sex, burring his fingers in those golden locks, kissing those pink lips and swallow every moan that dripped from him. He gathered this was what Sono needed in order to make himself heal and Seiji was more than willing to see him through that. 

He promised he'd be there for him...this was just one way of showing it. 

The young man sighed once again as he made his way to the cafe, suddenly thirsty and eager to just get home and slump on the couch with the tv going...preferably with his beautiful blond in his lap. He blushed and shook his head quickly once he finally made it to the small shop, opening the door and waved at the waitress, who smiled at him and pointed to a table near the wall, which already had a seat taken by someone with a gentle smile on his face. 

"Look who finally made it. I was starting to think you forgot where this place was."

Seiji laughed awkwardly and rubbed the back of his head before sitting down, shaking his head again and said, 

"As if I could. We've been here every Friday for about a month. I'm just shocked you beat me here again. Your building is what, 10 blocks away?"

Sono smiled and leaned his head on his palm, chuckling and said, 

"Taxis are a thing, Seiji-kun. And I have a feeling I'd still beat you here if I walked fast enough. Where's that youthful energy you're always showing off, hm?"

"You're lucky I love you so much."

To the untrained eye, it only looked like they were close friends from childhood to be talking so casually this way, a fact they took full advantage of when they were out in public like this. But Seiji knew that telling Sono he loved him when they were out almost always made him flush just a little, those pale cheeks turning pink even with a cocky smile on his face. They laughed with each other as the waitress brought them their drinks, casually going on about their day and discussing their newest volumes and progress. Seiji had mentioned he was being interviewed in a few days...or weeks...he couldn't remember, though Sono didn't press what it would be about and smiled, saying he'd be fine and to just keep his calm like usual. 

They left after an hour, paying for their drinks and opted to head towards Seijis place since it was closer, making their way down the streets of the city. Half way there, in the midst of the large crowd of people, Seiji felt a pressure in his hand and looked down, blushing wildly when he saw that Sono had laced their fingers together and regarded him with a soft smile. It was such a simple gesture but Seiji felt his heart throbbing against his chest. Now he just couldn't wait to get home...damn these insanely long traffic lights. 

Finally, after what seemed like hours when it had only been 20 minutes, the two men walked down the hall to Seijis apartment, the younger man not opening the door quick enough it seemed. The second he locked his front door behind them and removed his shoes, he was pressed against it and his lips covered by soft pink ones, thin fingers in his wild hair. Seiji moaned to himself, wrapping his arms tightly around the lovely blond and pulled him in closer, deepening their kiss and ran his own hand through Sonos silky locks. 

God, he missed this. It felt like they had been apart for months rather than just days. It was getting harder and harder to be away from Sono now that Seiji had all that he knew in his head. He could tell it took such a harsh toll on the blond over the course of a few weeks and even though Seiji knew better than to ask, he couldn't help but worry in silence about his love. He didn't like leaving him alone after hearing about how Sono attempted suicide out of his pain and loneliness, even though Sono had mentioned he felt he was over those feelings. 

Seiji wasn't so sure about that; Something told him otherwise, but again, out of the comfort of his lover, he kept his thoughts about them to himself. And right now wasn't the time to worry about it. 

The younger man broke their kiss quickly, eager hands removing the blonds jacket and shirt, tossing them to the floor before removing his own, seeing the hungry look in Sonos eyes grow darker with every bit of Seijis tan skin being shown. Without a word, Seiji picked his lover up and carried him to the bedroom, tossing him on the plush bed and made quick work of those sinful black pants the blond was wearing, taking note of how Sonos hands were shaking as they helped remove his as well. The note quickly fled from his brain for a second as he stared at the naked man in his bed, a bright pink flush up to his ears and fuck...he was beautiful...

The idea that this was the same man who suddenly came into Seijis life and changed his outlook on life so quickly...the fact that Sono loved him so much, enough to let him in when he couldn't trust anyone else...that way he showed a side of himself that he hadn't seen in 15 years...Seiji was beyond determined to show the blond just how much he loved him in return, how grateful he was for him, how devoted to him he truly was. 

Suddenly bursting with energy, Seiji quickly pinned the blond to his bed, kissing him again with such fiery passion, digging his hands into those golden locks as he felt Sonos own wandering (still shaking) hands lightly trail down his back. With a soft moan of his own, Sono broke away from the kiss and found the juncture in between Seijis ear and neck, causing the man to let out a soft moan of surprise, gripping Sonos hair harder, feeling a growl under his ear. Seiji chuckled. Though he would never admit it, Sono was a sucker for hair pulling.

Feeling a bit bolder, Seiji leaned down and suckled his loves earlobe, trailing his vein down to his shoulder, licking a hot stripe up his chin and kissed him hotly, pulling the back of his hair so roughly, he could have sworn he imagined Sonos eyes roll back into his skull and a wild moan let loose in his mouth.

As much as Sono absolutely loved being spoiled by Seiji like this, even he was having quite enough of his young lovers teasing. He had been on edge for the last few days and he appreciated the fact that the man was being so careful with hi, given everything he knew...but right now, that's not what Sono wanted. With a loud growl that sounded so unlike him, Sono broke free and was quick to turn the tables as Seiji found himself pinned to the bed, his blond lover straddling his hips, arching forward to get right in his face. Seiji chuckled, a damned smirk all over his face. 

"Was I teasing you too much, love?"

Sono scoffed and tried to narrow his eyes at the man, but couldn't help the smile on his cheeks. With one hand, he ran his fingers through his blond hair, tracing over a few of the ends before saying, 

"Your fascination with my hair is what was concerning me. Heh, I simply feel like I spoil you too much by not cutting it."

Seiji laughed at that, running his hands up and down Sonos thighs and eventually rose one hand to trace over the blonds bangs just hovering over his eyes, his smile softening as he said, 

"I love your long hair, honestly. It makes you look nice...beautiful...well, more beautiful than you already were..."

Oh, this damned charmer...

Sono blushed hotly and looked away, making Seiji chuckle, taking his chin in his fingers, turning his head back to him and making their eyes lock...it was quiet between them for a moment, drinking in each others soft gave before Seiji leaned up to close the gap between them, kissing with a more gentle tone, one of his hands caressing his lower back, treading dangerously low.

Sono had been too distracted with their kissing that he hadn't expected it...because without warning, Seiji teased the his entrance for about a second before thrusting two fingers inside. He jolted and gasped loudly into Seijis mouth, feeling the man under him chuckle as they broke the kiss quickly. Sono took a second to come back to his senses...followed by a soft punch to the mans chest, mouthing off, 

"Can you at LEAST give me some heads up? You and your foreplay has been scattered and it's driving me crazy."

Goddamn him....Seiji couldn't help but chuckle loudly as his free hand patted the blonds hips, feeling his muscles clench over his fingers. He gave a soft thrust in response, making Sono moan just a little; Seiji chuckled again, leaning up to press a soft kiss to the pale chest above him, mumbling into the skin, 

"You wanted me to stop teasing you, so I thought this was what you meant."

"Oh shut up, you know damn well that isn't what I mean."

Seiji couldn't help but smile at the non threatening tone of Sonos voice, given how red his face was and surely not from being mad. He was unbelievably cute like this, a rare sight for anyone to see and Seiji had it all to himself. How could he even dare to not take advantage of this sexy situation in his lap. With a soft lick across Sonos chest to his nipple, which caused a tremor to wrack through his pale form, Seiji slipped in another finger and gave a gentle push. 

A loud groan ripped from over his head and he smiled, pressing little kisses and soft licks to a perky pink nipple as he thrusted his fingers slowly in and out of the blonds body. Eventually, he turned his attention to the other side of Sonos chest, giving his neglected nub light suckles and swipes of his tongue, thoroughly enjoying the noises coming from the blonds lips....Seiji felt an uncanny urge to taste those noises. 

Releasing his lovers nipple with a loud POP, Seiji pulled Sono down just enough to kiss him, driving his tongue into his mouth and drinking the moans and gasps the blond was making each time his fingers hit a sensitive spot. 

After a moment, Seiji started slipping in a fourth finger, curling ever so slightly, smirking to himself when he felt the blond break their kiss and threw his head back, gasping and moving his hips along with his fingers. Eventually, Sonos hand found the headboard, gripping it tightly as Seijis fingers moved faster in his body, making him slightly dizzy, gasping out as much as he could, 

"God...stop teasing me...please..."

Seiji smiled, so eager to please, and gently brought the blond to his chest, making his hips rise higher and this gave him a better chance to quicken his thrusts. He felt his lovers moans on his chest, hot as they were, increasing every time he lightly grazed his sweet spot. Those moans quickly became cries as Seijis fingers locked onto the blonds prostate, curling and roughly pressing it, the pale body on his own shaking wildly. He could feel Sono dripping precum onto his groin, making his own cock jump with heightened interest. 

To see his love so open in the way, Seiji felt his heart pound madly. It had been a long few weeks, as he thought back to, though not without reason... With Sonos first emotional breakdown in 15 years, it made him seem more human. Seiji made a promise to him then and there that nothing was going to break them apart. Not even death would keep Seiji away. The look on Sonos face with that promise, the new tears he shed after so long, it cemented everything between them. Seiji would give Sono whatever he wanted, no matter what it could be. His heart, his life, his body and his soul...it was his. It was always be his. There was nothing Seiji wouldn't do to make his lover happy...Sono knew that now, or at least seemed to understand, but never brought it up...Seiji didn't mind that at all...he was happy just having the blond in his arms like this, rapture all over his face...his fingers slowed to a stop, his free hand now laced in golden hair and his lips pressing against his head, gently pulling his fingers free from Sonos heat, trying not to laugh when he heard a whine against his chest. 

Feeling slightly annoyed that Seiji stopped, Sono quickly shot his head up and stared his lover in the eyes, shaking arms struggling to push himself up to a proper seated stance on the mans groin. He shifted a little, feeling Seijis cock bump against him and he trembled, but felt a little better when he felt the young man tense under him, his pink blush turning red in seconds. They were quiet for a moment longer; Sono felt the unusual feeling of anxiety suddenly creeping up on him again, the pit of his stomach feeling heavy like lead. He felt...naked...granted, he was naked, but he felt so stripped and bare that his heart and emotions didn't truly know how to process it. The sex he and Seiji had been having for the last few weeks had been wonderful, gentle and soft, something he felt he needed. And maybe he did need it...maybe he needed to feel like someone was putting his needs and desires first whereas they had usually been pushed to the back burner. But he hated feeling like this...he hated feeling like he couldn't be emotionally honest with someone he loved so much...someone who truly cared for him...

A soft hand on his leg made him jump a little, brown eyes widening when he looked to see it was Seiji, who was giving him such a gentle look, a smile that warmed his heart...he remembered seeing that smile for the first time in that tower...seeing how Seiji would smile and wave at people walking by...he remembered the want he felt...he wanted Seiji to smile at him like that all the time...now he was and for some reason, Sono felt nervous. 

Seiji could sense the nerves and doubts running around in Sonos head; he had seen that look on his face before. The way his eyes would narrow and look away, the way his skin trembled all over and even the way he bit his bottom lip...These were all 'tells' Seiji had picked up on since that night and had done research on that same night after Sono had gone to sleep. 

He could tell the blond was having issues with his anxiety once again, after years of trying to ignore it. Seiji had been trying to prepare himself for the day when Sono would, inevitably, have a major meltdown and he had tried to get as much information as he could about adult depression. It was difficult to think about...but Seiji knew what he would be getting himself into after hearing about how his love suffered so much...just to feel loved...

With a gentle smile, his free hand reached up to cup the blonds cheek, running his thumb under his eye and said, softly, 

"Sono-san....I love you...I love you so much. Let me take care of you, ok?"

The blush on Sonos cheeks darkened a touch, averting his eyes once again with a shy smile, whispering a small 'thank you' and almost instantly, felt so much better. The lead feeling in his stomach was gone and he stopped trembling nervously, gulping to himself before shifting a bit, taking his lovers cock in his hands and gently settled himself on it, sliding down with ease, his mouth hanging open to let out gasping moans.

Seiji, in turn, let out a shocked moan, surprised with his lovers boldness at wanting to be on top, wet and smoldering heat surrounding him suddenly. Very rarely did Sono ever ride him like this and just experiencing it was a thrill. Granted, this was not what Seiji meant when he asked Sono to 'let him take care of him', but he also knew, especially these days, Sono was so out of left field that it always took Seiji by surprise. 

He knew not to waste it. 

Gripping his lovers hips, he thrusted upwards, hearing a gasp leave the mans mouth, a smirk on his own and lightly started to grind his hips, thoroughly enjoying the moans the blond was letting slip. Sono, however, was not one to not recognize a challenge. He smiled to himself, knowing that Seiji was being a horrible tease...but he knew how to set the record straight and make Seiji cry out for him as well. Biting his bottom lip in such a way that always made Seiji throb for him, Sono balanced himself and began moving his hips back and forth, up and down, eventually giving in and riding his lover into a frenzy. Every fiber in his being was set aflame, growing hotter with every grind and every thrust.

Seiji loved this. Each and every time they had sex, it was discovering a new thing every moment. He leaned his head back, moaning at the heat building in his loins, alongside the heat of his lovers body surrounding him. It felt so wonderful. So much so that he already felt himself nearing his end, his teasing the blond and the fact that Sono was riding him already putting him on a small trigger. 

Not wanting to cum before his lover, Seiji moaned, almost growled as he gripped Sonos member, earning a loud cry from above him and an involuntary thrust of his hips in his hand. He felt so hot and so heavy, throbbing and ready to burst. Seiji felt hypnotized by it as he pumped his blond lover, slow at first, then speeding up as soon as he felt Sonos hips start to lose their rhythm. His brown eyes peered up and almost lost his breath at the sight he was looking at. 

Good fuck, if he thought Sono was beautiful before, he was down right sinfully sexy right now. Sweat matted his bangs to his forehead, his pale face, usually so calm and composed, now red and glistening. Those gorgeous eyes were practically black, his lips now red and mouth agape, gasps and moans pouring from him like fine wine. His whole body was trembling, his cock pulsing in Seijis hand and dripping more precum on his stomach. The young man couldn't look away...he was so engrossed with how enchanting Sono looked right now that he had almost forgotten how close he actually was. His free hand left the blonds hip and quickly grasped Sonos left hand, lacing their fingers and held on tightly, never looking away as the blond continued to ride his cock like there was no where else he wanted to be. 

Almost immediately, the blond flung his head back and let out his loudest cry of the night, gripping Seijis hand tightly as he came hard on his chest. The force of his orgasm made his lungs forget how to work for a moment and he fought for breath, hips shaking as he rode out his climax. 

Seiji, on the other hand, was caught so off guard by the tightening around his cock that he let out a sudden moan of surprise, jerking his hips and pumping his hot seed into his lovers shaking body. Sono felt hot and cold all at once, smiling to himself as he felt liquid fire shoot inside his body, a light ray of tears leaking from his eyes. Each and every time they were together, especially like this...Sono felt happy. Happier than he had felt in years...like 15+ years ago no longer mattered...

Unable to keep himself up, Sono fell onto his loves chest, breathing heavily and felt those soft hands rub his sweaty back, tenderly massaging his muscles with his fingertips. The blond nuzzled the mans neck, inhaling his scent and kissed under his chin, silently thanking him for that, all while Seiji chuckled and pressed tender kisses to the top of his yellow mass of hair. 

They stayed like that for a moment longer, their bodies cooling down rapidly and Sono whined as he felt Seiji slip from his body, warm cum leaking down his thighs...not that he could bring himself to care about that. He shivered a little, curling closer to his lovers body, listening to a steady heart beat....Seijis heart...right under his ear. Sono sighed lightly through his nose, closing his eyes and nearly lost himself in the gentle beat against his head. 

_This is mine...Seijis heart is mine...he...gave it to me so willingly...god...where would I be without him...he loves me...get a grip on yourself...he won't hurt you..you know that...stop worrying so much..._

"Sono-san, are you listening?"

What?

Oh, Seiji was talking to him? Had he really just zoned out like that so fast? 

Sono lifted his head up and looked into Seijis eyes, flushing a little and asked, 

"Um...I'm sorry. I was miles away...what did you say?"

Seiji blinked for a second before laughing a little to himself, not helping the blush already growing on Sonos cheeks. 

"Haha, I gathered that...I asked what's the occasion? You know, usually you like letting me do most of the work, not that I mind. I was just curious why the sudden want to top?"

Shit, would his face ever be his natural pale ever again. Sono groaned to himself and hid his face in Seiji's chest, mumbling a little before turning to rest his cheek against his collar, opting for a straight forward response that in his head, sounded right, but saying it out loud sounded much more nervous than he would've preferred. 

"I dunno...maybe....I like to remind myself that only I can make you moan like that...you take good care of me, so it's only fair I do the same for you... It's a...comfort sort of thing for me, I guess..."

Seiji didn't right off respond to that, already noticing how Sono was shaking a little bit and could instantly tell it was coming from his nervous twitches. The man sighed; it was like Sono was going through emotional imbalances all over again and Seiji could only imagine what this would be like if Sono was alone. His mind veered back to the parts of Sonos story where his emotions and anxiety got the better of him...how there was one person there to help him through them all..then he was taken away...

The mans grip on the back of Sonos head tightened a little, protectiveness washing over him like it usually did these days. In these last few weeks, they never talked about Sonos past since that night...never once did it come up....until Sono had a nightmare about it. 

He had woken up in tears, calling Naoki's name and begged him not to go. And once he came back to himself and saw Seiji looking at him with such a stare, Sono broke down more, crying apologies to his lover and begged for forgiveness...something he had been doing a lot of recently. 

Seiji never once minded any of this. He was happy to hold Sono close as he cried, rubbing his back and laying him against the mattress, cradling him to his chest and kissed him, soothing his nerves and telling him everything was going to be alright. He wasn't too sure if Sono fell right back asleep from that. Then again...he wasn't sure what Sono was like anymore when they weren't together. 

He never liked to press the blond for more information, but lately, he found himself thinking more and more about it. Especially after moments like this when Sono couldn't bring himself to sound as confidant as he used to. 

That needed to change. Maybe not now or soon, but eventually. 

With a soft sigh, Seiji ran his fingertips up and down Sonos spine, feeling him practically purr against his skin...he just went for it. 

"Sono...have you been...sleeping well, lately?"

There was a pregnant pause in the air and he felt Sono give a nervous chuckle. He cringed to himself, moreso when Sono responded with, 

"What? Why would you ask that?"

"Maybe you don't want to talk about it...that's ok too, but I've noticed how you nod off every now and then when we work together. You mention you're tired a lot, but make no mention of wanting to sleep, especially after that nightmare you had a while back...but Sono, if that's not convincing me of anything, the bags under your eyes give it away."

Sono said nothing, not that he really needed to. Seiji felt his body tense quickly in his embrace, trying to npt make himself too obvious about being caught so quickly.

It was true, on some level. Sono hadn't been sleeping well, or often, the last few days and try as he may to pin it on stress from work, he knew better. His mind was a mess, along with his emotions and every so often, he'd find himself crying for no reason at his desk or on his couch, doing such mundane tasks like watching tv or drinking coffee. His brain was trying to retrain his entire body about how to handle these emotions properly after locking them away for as long as he did. Clearly, he felt like he was failing, but somehow he also felt like this was what was needed in order for him to readjust.

He just wished he wasn't so damn impatient. He wanted to be better, he wanted to be able to be a grown adult and not cry over the most smallest of concerns. But damn...it was hard. And he had briefly considered going to counseling (more like Seiji would occasionally ask about it) but he didn't feel comfortable with anyone having his life written on paper...it was bad enough that Seiji knew...

The blond had gotten much too quiet and his body was trembling just a little bit. Seiji knew there was some sort of struggle going on in Sono's head, (there usually always was) and hated that he couldn't help him the way he wanted to. All he wanted was to suck away this hurt and anxiety that would take hold of his lover...but he couldn't. Not until Sono was truly ready to let him in. He took the first steps by giving Seiji a detailing of his life story, the things he went through and the pain he put himself through...but helping him heal from it was defiantly going to be the biggest battle yet. There's no telling what could happen if all these locked up emotions and memories came to a head at the worst time...Seiji would have to truly prepare for that day...he did his research and studied books and websites all based around the dangers of these feelings...memories...experiences...Sono was defiantly scarred from them and whether he chose to address it or not...he was scared. Scared of what this could do to him if left unchecked...like it had been for years.

With a soft sigh, Seiji patted his lovers leg and sat them up slowly, settling Sono in his lap and set both his hands on his pale hips, gently rubbing his skin and looking up into those beautiful brown eyes. They were a little red around the edges, perhaps from him being so tired, but nevertheless, Seiji loved the blonds eyes...he could practically get lost in them.

The younger man pulled him closer, running on flat hand up the blonds back and whispered softly,

"Hey....do you remember what I told you the night you came here and almost forced me to break up with you because you were stressed and scared of how I might see you? How you thought I'd hate you for the things you had no control over? Sono, I told you that no matter what happens, no matter what hell comes our way, I would never give up on us....on you. I promised you I'd help you heal in any way that I could. It's hard, I understand. But...you know that I'll never stop loving you and I'll never stop trying for you. I love you...I always have."

Seiji emphasized this by pressing a kiss to Sonos heart, feeling it pound under his skin, hearing the soft gasp from above him. Wrapping his arms tightly around Sonos waist, he pulled him closer, his lips never leaving his chest, projecting his feelings into the throbbing muscle. After a moment, he felt the blonds gentle hands in his brown hair, cradling him to his chest, the quiet sobs seemingly louder from above him and a timid voice asking,

"Seiji...can I stay the night? We're both off tomorrow and...I really don't want to spend another night by myself."

Though he wasn't happy with the fact that Sono sounded so unsure of his request whereas he was usually always so confidant with himself, Seiji couldn't help but smile brightly at the question, chuckling as he pressed another kiss to the blonds chest and said,

"Love...you know you don't ever have to ask me that. Having you in my bed with me is the highlight of my night. Give me a second, I think I washed that gray shirt you like so much."

He felt Sono grip his hair a little tighter, reluctant to let the younger man go even for a minute, but once his fingers loosened up, Seiji gently pressed him against the mattress and pillows, giving him a soft kiss on the cheek before finding the feeling in his legs to get up from bed. He moved to his closet, opening a special dresser drawer he kept in it specifically for when Sono stayed over and smiled when he found a large shirt, dark gray in color and it smelt heavily like him (as Sono put it), given he washed and wore it twice in the last few days.

He debated on giving the blond a pair of sweats, but opted not to since it was plenty cool in the apartment and they always slept cuddled together, keeping each other warm. Once he grabbed himself a pair of sleep pants, slipping them on quickly, he turned and smiled the the man in his bed, who was sitting up and eyeing the shirt in his hands. Seiji couldn't help but laugh and toss it at the blond, who slipped it over his head and brushed the material over his chest with a chuckle of his own. Finally, after some pats to his own chest and stomach, something odd he liked to do once he was dressed after sex, Sono sighed and plopped back against the pillows, feeling Seiji settle next to him, a strong arm settling over his chest to rub his cheek with the back of his hand.

They were quiet for a moment longer, the younger occasionally coming closer to press soft kisses to the blonds other cheek, feeling the man laugh breathlessly, stuttering out,

"Haha, Seiji quit. I'm drained and if I'm supposed to get some sleep like you want, I can't have you distracting me."

The man smiled against the pale skin, chuckling and said with fake offense,

"Awww using my words against me to get out of affection. You're too smart for me."

Sono chuckled to himself, eyes closing for a moment and felt his lover gently move his hand down to his neck, tilting his head up so they could kiss, a smooth kiss, before breaking apart and whisper to each other,

'Good night.'

Then it was quiet; Sono was out like a light, while Seiji watched him sleep for a few moments with a soft smile before silently getting out of bed, and left the room, gently shutting the door so as not to wake his exhausted boyfriend...boyfriend...he giggled at the sound of that.

Moving over to their two desks, he collected his own papers and set them in his bag before moving to Sonos work. It was only a few pieces of paper, mainly just the drafts of whatever new he decided to work on next, but he always seemed to enjoy Seiji's input when he created something different. It was a nice feeling, Seiji considered, a small blush on his tanned cheeks and a silly grin plastered on his face as he cleaned up. As he collected the blonds papers, his eyes shifted to the coffee table where they set their cellphones. Feeling curious, not that he needed to, he picked his own up and noticed he had one new text from Yasuda, reminding him of the new supplies coming in tomorrow afternoon and to pick his up whenever he came back to the studio. He smiled and set his phone down, moving to his lovers so he could set it on the desk....then he noticed the phone was flashing a bright white light. If he remembered right, this meant Sono had an unread email.

Frowning at who could be emailing him at this time, Seiji took the blonds phone, opened it and clicked to see the email.

It was...odd. A very vague email from a vague address that read,

_Hanasaki Sono. It is important that we meet with you as soon as possible. I cannot go into detail now. Please respond with home address._

Scoffing at what was so obviously a scam email, Seiji moved to delete it. If this was so important, why didn't they just call? Sonos ears were keen enough, even when he slept, to pick up the sound of his phone vibrating on a table and would almost always answer. So whoever this was clearly didn't have serious enough information to just send an email.

His thumb drifted over the erase button, ready to press and move on with his night, curled up in bed and debate to himself on what the two of them could be doing tomorrow....work at home, obviously, but even before that, they could get breakfast somewhere and discuss upcoming events and meetings, such as the one Seiji had in a few days, maybe even...

_...Don't..._

Seiji froze...it was like there was a chill going up his bare back, like a hand...a hand made of ice. He couldn't move; his eyes widened as he felt a breath in his ear, cold like death...another whisper...

_....Don't touch it...._

And just like that...it was gone. The touch was gone, the cold feel of the air was gone...the voice was gone. Though it did nothing to ease the pounding against Seijis chest. His heart felt like it was going a million miles a minute, a cold sweat beading on his forehead. His hands were starting to get clammy, eyes drifting down to the blonds phone and kept reading the email, the voice still ringing in his head.

He knew that voice. He hadn't heard the voice in a while it seemed, not since that night and to this day had never once brought it up to Sono....for VERY obvious reasons. But he had always figured that was the end of it and never gave it a second thought.

It seemed as through HE had other ideas...

Slightly shaken but more annoyed than anything else, Seiji shook his head, shutting the phone and set it back down on the coffee table, staring hard at it for a moment longer. There's no way it could've been a scam email if it was enough to warrant another....visit. His voice sounded just as serious and as chill as when Seiji first heard it almost a month ago.

It also sounded furious...like a calm furious..that's what made Seiji nervous...

Opting to ignore his own thoughts and worries, simply because he was getting a headache from thinking about it too hard, Seiji went back to his room, a smile returning to his face when he saw that Sono had pulled one of his pillows to his chest. With a grin, Seiji crawled back into bed and kissed his lovers head softly, hearing a muffled moan in response.

He very much wanted to wake Sono up and tell him about the email...voice his concerns about the way it was worded...but he couldn't. Not yet. The blond clearly hadn't had a full nights rest in a while and Seiji wouldn't dream of taking that away so quickly. He'd talk to him about it tomorrow whenever they could get some downtime. They were both off work tomorrow, so Seiji had plenty of thoughts as to how to spend their day. He could bring up the email later that night.

~~~  
  


He never got a chance to bring up the email.

From the moment they rolled out of bed at 8 am that next morning, both of their phones were blowing up with phone calls from their assistants, asking for them to come in and participate in another impromptu meeting. Seiji groaned exaggeratedly while Sono only sighed, getting dressed and had some coffee before they left, going in opposite directions and chose to meet at Sonos place later that night.

It had been an excruciatingly long day. Seiji texted his lover under the table during his meeting, mentioning how stupid this was and how annoyed each of the other artists were. Sono responded with a picture message of his own meeting, his fellow manga artists all laying their heads on the table with numerous paper cups of tea and coffee. They all looked worn out, even at noon of all times.

By the time their day finally ended, Seiji could only picture a hot shower and cold beer being in his future. Being called into a meeting on his day off was one thing, but this meeting stretched for hours and only when it ended did Seiji truly being to appreciate his publishers tenacity for progress...sort of.

On his way to Sonos apartment, the younger had stopped off at a nearby store to pick up some beer for himself and nice sake for the blond, already seeing a restful night in the next few hours. He even picked up some take out from a small noodle shop a block from the apartments, the smell so tempting and hunger settling in quickly.

Seiji had waited for the blond for a little over 10 minutes outside his front door, beating himself up for forgetting his spare key at home. When Sono did finally walk towards his door, Seiji could see how tired he was and how drained his smile looked. Genuinely excited to see his love, but too exhausted to really show it properly.

Once inside, Seiji pulled out their dinner and alcohol, setting the dining room table while Sono changed into a comfortable short sleeved shirt and light pants, admittedly salivating when he smelt the delicious dinner his lover brought them. They ate in comfortable silence, knocking back their drinks and breaking into conversation about their long day.

After dinner and drinks, Sono cleaned up the kitchen while Seiji lounged on his couch, head resting against the back and exhaled through his nose. This truly had been a long day and while he was frustrated to spend his day off in a stupid meeting, it was nice to relax and decompress at his lovers home. He didn't like spending his free time by himself much these days...he wondered if Sono felt the same.

A sudden weight was dropped hard on his lap, causing his eyes to snap open quickly and was greeted with the smiling face of the man he loved so much, taking note of how he just plopped on him and wrapped his arms around his neck. Seiji smiled in return, both his hands resting on Sonos hips, pulling him closer. Their groins shifted together and the blond let out a soft sigh, shivering a little before mentioning,

"I...I don't think I feel up for that tonight. It's been a hellish day."

Seiji nodded and winced when he felt a dull ache in his lower back when he tried to sit up properly, hands still resting over his lovers sides. His thumbs traced under Sonos shirt to lightly touch his skin, smile still on his face as he said,

"Agreed. As much as I'd love to spoil you in bed tonight, I think my body is a bit overdone with being in that stupid meeting room. I'm sorry you had a hard day too, love."

Sono chuckled and leaned forward to press his forehead against his lovers, hands lacing in wild brown locks, his breath warm as he said,

"It is what it is. And that's fine...you spoil me in other ways."

The smile Seiji had shifted into a playful grin, now running both hands under soft cotton to touch smooth skin, his lips coming so close to his lovers, whispering hot and deep,

"Oh? Give an example?"

There was a pause between them for a moment, a smile plastered over Sonos face as he whispered in return, finally closing the gap between them,

"Well..you could kiss me...like you always do."

Now who could argue with a request like that?

Seiji chuckled low in his throat as Sono pressed their lips together, kissing him with such loving passion that Seiji briefly felt the energy he lost all day slowly coming back to him. His hands trailed all over the blonds back, lifting up to his shoulders and the back of his neck, the backs of his long hair tickling his fingers.

The blond moaned softly when he felt Seijis hands rub up his back, the cool air of his apartment chilling his exposed skin. He shifted closer to the younger man, whimpering when he felt the mans tongue pull his own, making his whole body shiver against his own will.

He never wanted this feeling to stop; the level of emotion and thrill coursing through the blonds body scared him just a little, but he loved it. He felt so much more these last few weeks and he was eager to share it with the love of his life, make him truly appreciate all Seiji did for him.

His head still was reeling from that night, the pain of crying for the first time in years, the pleasure of having Seiji touch him the way he did, the way only his mouth and hands made him feel. He was certain he hadn't had an orgasm like that in ages...it wore him out faster than he realized.

He remembered the way Seiji held him afterwards, like letting him go would only hurt him more than the actual pain in his chest...he even remembered the nice dream he had about Naoki...he dreamt that his best friend came back to him, even for just a second, to tell him how happy he was for him...that he still loved him...how he made Sono a promise...

It felt wonderful knowing Naoki approved of Seiji, regardless of the fact the teen was gone and had been for years...somehow, the idea of it brought Sono some of semblance of peace, something he hadn't felt for a while. He knew somewhere deep down, he still loved Naoki and that he always would....but the love he had for Seiji was so strong that he couldn't bare the idea of it being taken away. He felt scared of losing him, even though he knew Seiji would fight tooth and nail for him...he prayed it would never come to that.

Seiji could tell Sono was distracted; he stopped moving on his lap and his hands hand gotten lax in his hair. Something was on his mind and it certainly wasn't them making out on the couch like a couple of teenagers. Breaking their kiss slowly, the younger looked up at his love, who looked almost offended that their kissing ended so suddenly. That look changed to surprised when Seiji's hands went back to his hips, the look in his eyes concerning.

"Sono-san, tell me what's on your mind. You seem lost about something."

Was he lost? He didn't really know how to respond to that. The look on Seiji's face was soft, but worried. He had that look a lot lately and through he would never truly admit this...Sono was starting to hate that look. He hated feeling small and he hated when Seiji treated him like something so delicate. It made him mad...but not enough to confront it...he felt this way once before...many times before...and it never ended well. At least not that he recalled.

Before he could even attempt to answer, a loud knock was pounded on his door, making both men jump suddenly. Sonos head whipped to the door, hearing the knocking get louder and more insistent. The blond groaned loudly and reluctantly removed himself from Seijis lap, ignoring the equally as offended look on the mans face. He made his way to the door and unlocked it, not bothering to look through the peephole and opened the door quickly, ready to snap at whoever was pounding on his door so rudely and loudly.

But when he got a good look at who was standing in front of him, his irritation subsided and was quickly replaced with confusion.

Two men stood at his door, looking flushed and surprised, like they hadn't expected an answer so quickly. They were both in suits, one more clean cut then the other and one man looked much older, gray in his hair and beard, eyes tired, but light with energy. The other looked much younger, softer features and brighter eyes.

Both those sets of eyes locked on Sonos confused face and immediately, the blond felt his stomach drop.

The older of the two asked quickly, but politely,

"Pardon us for the interruption. We've been scaling this area all afternoon trying to find the right place. Might you be Hanasaki Sono?"

The feeling in his stomach got much heavier as the men looked at him, hopeful and eager. Next to him, he felt Seiji walk up, curious as to what was going on and felt him tense after seeing the two men. Having no reason to really worry as much as he was, Sono nodded and the atmosphere changed in seconds. Both men have a loud sigh of relief, the younger punching the older mans shoulder, saying,

"I told you, Yakura-san! We should've waited to get the address before running out like that. This is horribly embarrassing...very sorry to inconvenience you like this."

Sono said nothing, still greatly confused, eyes shifting from one man to the other. The older man...Yakura, if he heard right... cleared his throat and said,

"My name is Detective Suruzawa Yakura. And this is my assistant, Muito Oishi. We're with a Special Task Force in Tokyo and we've hit a snag in our most daunting case...we recieved your name from one of our sources and we would very much appreciate your assistance in the matter. May we come in? This won't be too terribly long...I hope."

No one said a word for a moment.

The chill that went down Sonos spine suddenly outsourced to his entire body, his heart frozen against his chest. He felt the heated worry from Seiji thaw him just a little, but not enough to ease his concerns. The look on both detectives faces gave him an even bigger chill in his throat, not knowing how to approach such a situation.

After a moment, Sono nodded and stepped aside, allowing the two to come inside and remove their shoes. Seiji, while a little suspicious, showed them to the nearest couch and they sat down quickly while the other two sat in the chairs across from them. Almost immediately, Seiji reached for Sonos hand and gripped tightly, watching as the younger detective...Oishi, right?...looked around at all the manga tools around the place, eyes glowing. Yakura, however, pulled out his notepad, eyes suddenly sharp, saying,

"Once again, we are terribly sorry for the sudden arrival. We just arrived to Osaka late last night to come find you. I received your email address from one of my Intel and was hoping to hear back from you so we didn't resort to tracking your publisher. Since that failed, we went to your publishing company and we got the name of your building, but in my haste I failed to catch the number. We went around to a few of your neighbors and one of them pointed us to this apartment number."

In the back of Seijis mind, he slapped himself. The email he had thought was a scam were actually two cops trying to find him? It did nothing to ease his growing suspicions...not at all...

Sono nodded in silence, still trying to keep an open mind to this situation. He wasn't so much nervous anymore as to why they were here, just....morbidly curious. He didn't know anyone really in Tokyo...except for two people in particular...so why where these men here? What help could he possibly be in their investigations? He hadn't been in Tokyo in years, save for some small appearances in conventions, but even then, that seemed like ages ago. Yakura, already able to see the gears turning in Sonos brain, set his notepad aside and reached into his bag, pulling out a plastic bag with a photograph inside. Sono could see there was hand writing on the back, but didn't get a chance to catch it as Yakura said, sternly,

"Now...I'm just going to get right down to it. As I mentioned before, we're both part of a Special Task Force in a special division of the police force in Tokyo...recently, we've hit a snag in a case that we've been tracking for a few years. A few days ago, at our most recent crime scene, we found this photo and tracked it back to..well..let me just ask this first...what do you know about a man named Mizuno Takeo?"

All the gears in Sonos head suddenly halted.

In a matter of seconds, vivid memories of a certain night...15 years ago...flashed through his mind..things he had forced himself to try and forget..they came back so quickly. His eyes widened a little, his breath suddenly short and he gasped in a breath of air, feeling his muscles lock up.

A sudden pressure in his hand made him look to his left, seeing how Seiji squeezed his hand in assurance...though the look on his face was equally as shocked...a little less considering, but it soothed Sono just enough to answer Yakura's question.

"I um...ahem...know a bit about him. We grew up together...sort of...but I haven't heard from him or seen him in...years...not since I graduated high school...I--"

Yakura stopped him suddenly, reaching over to set his hand on his shoulder, immediately feeling sick to his stomach. Those old eyes bore into his brown orbs, as if he was looking into his soul. It hurt him, but at the same time, it helped answer questions the man didn't even have to ask.

"Hanasaki-san....I know that you know the terrible things he's done.... You don't have to be afraid...we just want the truth."

It didn't help Sonos nerves at all, honestly. The last thing he ever wanted to think about was...what Takeo had done to him...or what he could've done to so many people. He knew Takeo was a murderer...but to know that he was big enough to kill so many more people...enough to have a Special Task Force on his ass for years...

But still...this wasn't making any sense. Takeo was in Tokyo now? If that were the case, then why were these men here in Osaka? Why were they asking for him? What help could he possibly be here?

In a small voice that internally made him hate how weak it actually sounded, he said,

"I...I don't understand...what does this have to do with me?""

Yakura seemed baffled at the question, but not unknowing. This had to come as a bit of a shock to the man, hearing Takeos name after a number of years. He looked to Oishi, who was already quick to answer the mans question as politely as he could muster,

"Well, we're not sure ourselves. As Yakura-san had mentioned, we found this photo at the most recent crime scene. I immediately recognized the parks location in Fukushima, so we went there and spoke with the Chief of Police. He gave us some information about you and your past relations Mizuno, but they were pretty brief."

Sonos eyes widened just a touch more, absentmindedly squeezing Seijis hand to a point of pain, though the other man hadn't said anything. Seiji kept his gazed locked on Sonos face, occasionally looking to the two detectives for more answers.

If there's one thing Sono hadn't been expecting, it was the knowledge that these two men had actually went to Fukushima and spoke with the police chief about a topic so taboo in that city...Takeo...

Inwardly, he prayed that the men hadn't spoke to his own father about the topic...well, considering both men were still alive, it stood to reason that they hadn't. Clearing his throat, he stammered out,

"I...I see...and?"

"Well, this picture...I'm sure you've seen it."

Oishi slid the picture over to the other men; Sono had picked up the bag so quickly that Seiji didn't register him letting go of his hand for a moment. With shaking hands, he removed the picture from the plastic bag and stared hard at it....and there was no hiding the level of horror in his eyes.

He knew what picture they were referring to...he'd be stupid to not see it coming. But to actually look at it for the first time in years...he hadn't even opened his locket in over 10...there was a rock settling into his stomach and he could already feel the quickened panic his heart was settling in.

Turning the photo around, Sono was able to read the message on the back, brief as it was. A tremor passed through his body and he found he could no longer move himself. He was so stunned solid that he didn't even feel it when Seiji gripped the picture from his hands and looked it over, reading the message and then back at the picture. His brown eyes furrowed.

Up until this moment, Seiji sat silently, letting the men and Sono talk while trying to piece together everything that was going on at once.

Ok, so these men were from Tokyo and they were investigating Mizuno Takeo, a man who had hurt the love of his life so much in so many ways that even Seiji wanted to kill him...a man who Sono had said was his first friend, his first love and the only person aside from his father to truly break his heart...

If that were the case, why bring Sono in the middle of it? He gave them his honest answer and still, they continued to press. Seiji felt this horrific urge to throw these men out of the apartment before Sono settled into a panic. The last thing he wanted was for his love to be confronted with these feelings yet again.

Before he could even open his mouth to demand answer, Yakura raised his hand and spoke up quickly,

"I understand this is troubling. But please understand that we are not here to just give you this terrible news...we are here to help you."

.

.

.

Sono suddenly felt something he hadn't felt in a long time...a really long time. It was something akin to fear, but a little more forceful than that. It was like sadness, but had more of an edge to it, like his body was shaking and his heart was racing, not to mention his vision was almost turning red.

Then it clicked.

He was angry.

"Help me? How the hell do you expect to do that? Do you two have any idea who you're dealing with? You think that just because you were tasked with hunting him down and cleaning up his messes that you know who he is? Who he ACTUALLY is? You know nothing...Takeo Mizuno...he's...he's crazy. I've seen what he can do when he's lost control. When he's angry...I've felt it..."

Seiji could have sworn he saw Sonos foot twitch at that.

"You don't know Takeo like I do...he's manipulative...he targets your weaknesses and uses them against you like...like you're his plaything. He's payed people to hurt me...he killed my best friend...he took away someone I loved so much...he almost drove a wedge between me and my family..."

Sonos anger filled eyes shot towards the two officers, hands shaking as he balled them into fists on his knees, his voice trembling and filled with rage as he said,

"Don't lie to me...why are you really here? It isn't just to get information about him, is it? It can't be just that. You wouldn't have worked that hard in Fukushima just something you could find so easily elsewhere...why are you here?"

Not one man said a word. The two officers looked at each other while Seiji looked at his lover, absolutely amazed at how calm he was being, even while he could tell just how infuriated he was. And yes, Sono was trembling fiercely and his eyes were glassy, but he was firm and straight about it. He knew....he knew exactly why the officers were here. And Seiji knew too...even if he didn't want to admit it. The reality was painfully clear. No one even needed to say it.

Takeo was out there...looking for Sono. To do what, Seiji didn't want to think about, but he knew it to be true. There was no other reason for these two men to be sitting here. The younger man wanted to hold his lovers hand again, but he didn't dare reach for him yet. The blond was gripping his pant legs tightly, knuckles turning white and body trembling like a leaf.

Finally...oddly enough...Yakura smiled. Smiled and stared at Sono like he was a freaking godsend among everything else in the world.

"....The history you have with this man...Hanas-...Sono-san...I never would have imagined it the way it has been...I can tell you've figured out why we're in Osaka and...you're not wrong. But we are here on a promise to protect you and to bring Takeo to justice. There's no doubt in my mind nor in Oishi's that he is aware of what city you live in at least. And we were tasked to make sure nothing happens to you...or your loved ones."

Yakura's eyes shot to Seiji at that, making the man flush just a little, but he was given little time to think about it as Sono scoffed, snapping out,

"And who, pray tell, in Fukushima would make you promise this? I know for a fact you didn't speak to my father...even if you did speak with him about this and lived...he would've sent his own men to protect me. I would've known about it much faster....who sent you? Who is it you actually work for? And who did you speak to in Fukushima that knows me enough to give you this information?"

Oishi flipped open his notepad, skimming to the near last page and said,

"Nazawa Huri, Chief of Police in Fukushima, Japan. That's who we spoke with to get your information...You might remember his son, Naoki, right?"

Now that's a name he had been hearing a lot lately...whether it was from Seiji or his own head...

Naoki...Naoki...Naoki...he suddenly felt dizzy.

All the light in Sonos head went dark. He vaguely heard Yakura smacking Oishi upside the head for that remark. He barely even heard Oishi frantically apologizing to the man...he couldn't hear Seiji asking if he was ok.

All he saw was a white veil and he certainly didn't hear himself as he asked,

"Nazawa-san...he's...he's chief now...?"

"He made us promise to protect you. He said you were like a second son to him. He knew how much you meant to his son...how in love you both were and how eager he was to support you both when you graduated school. Now he wants us to ensure your safety, yours and anyone you have ties with here..."

A pause for a moment longer...then Yakura cleared his throat and said,

"As to who we work for, you know we're the a Special Task Force...well...that may be the case, but we're funded by an outer source..."

Sono peered through his bangs, not feeling up for more surprises but simply asked,

"An...outer source?"

"Yes....We're funded by the Tokyo branch of T.K.H Law. I'm sure you're familiar with the V.P of operations...Hanasaki Oto?"

Oh.

Oh wow.

Oh holy hell.

Sono clearly hadn't been expecting that.

He doubled over, arms wrapped around his stomach as he tried to process everything coming at him. It wasn't enough that he just discovered Takeo was looking for him...

It wasn't enough for him to know that Nawaza-san had become Chief of Fukushima police in that 15 year span he had been away...

But...his brother...his brother was funding the task force that was after Takeo...his older brother, who he was well aware had been promoted to V.P of operations several years ago...

Oto still thought about him? After all this time? Why? They hadn't spoke in years. Their last interaction was a month into Sonos university stay in Tokyo...after that one month, he never spoke to his brother again...

But Oto funded these men...and by that logic, that meant his father knew that gravity of the situation. Oh god, his family knew that Takeo was out there, searching for him. They knew...and Oto was the first to make a move.

Sono suddenly felt sick. This was too much. He felt the air around him suddenly becoming tense and it hurt to breath. He needed air. He needed to get away from these people.

Without saying a word, Sono got up from his seat and walked over to the balcony, sliding the door open and nearly slammed it shut. He didn't hear Seiji calling for him...he couldn't hear much of anything.

All he could hear where the screams from graduation night...the crack of Takeos belt...he could feel the sting of Takeos cum in his open wounds again...the pain in his heart....he felt like vomiting, but it was settled in the pits of his stomach like lead...he was slipping.

He could feel it.

Inside the apartment, Seiji was blown away by everything that was happening. He had never seen his lover react in such a way before about anything...the amount of hurt written all over the blonds face as he processed everything coming at him...there was nothing Seiji wanted more than to hold him close and comfort him...but that would've ended badly. He could already tell.

Seeing that this was going no where and the fact that their assistance clearly needed some space, Yakura sighed to himself and mentioned to Seiji,

"It's clear we've upset him with this information and I truly am sorry. I can't imagine what's going through his head right now, but he needed to hear this. I understand this is difficult but well...I ask that we at least have your cooperation with this. There's only so much Oishi and I can do. Will you help us?"

Seiji, who was still shell shocked by everything going on, turned to Yakura and nodded quickly. He didn't even need to think twice about this.

"You have my vow, officers. You made a promise...you essentially made a promise to his family...I've never met them, only heard stories. I have to know....how worried is Oto about Sono right now? Knowing all this?"

"Are you asking for like a scale of 1-10? Honestly?"

"Sure."

Yakura pondered this for a second, chuckling a little before running his hands through his hair, saying,

"One...fucking...million. Maybe even past that. We knew who he was when Hanasaki-san began his funding with us. I've been on this Takeo case for a long time....I know what's on the line. If anything were to happen to Sono in a situation like this, we wouldn't be losing just our jobs. If you've never met Hanasaki Oto...or even his father...well...let's just say that the money they've put into this is worth every penny...anything for him, as Oto puts it. My job is to give him updates on how this case is going....as well as making sure his brother is well protected. And by extension, per Nawaza-sans request...you as well."

Seiji hadn't heard the words that left his mouth next and was almost surprised to hear himself say them....even as passionately as he had, but knowing that his lovers life was suddenly in danger because of some madman...he couldn't begin to comprehend the strength in his own voice. And he may have said a bit too much...but oh well.

"I love him. There's nothing I wouldn't do for Sono and he knows that. He may not like to admit his own fears and weaknesses, but he knows I'd do anything to keep him safe. I've only just gotten to know him in more ways other than...well...physical...but I'd do anything for him. And if there's anything you need from me....anything to help...you have my support. I'll protect him. I love him...I'd sooner kill Takeo before he even thinks of getting near him."

  
  


_....You Promised me....._

That voice again...Seiji froze a little as that voice rang so clear in his ear. And it was so vibrant that he actually turned his head to look behind him...seeing nothing, but immediately felt a chill run through his bones. Shaking his head, Seiji turned back to the detectives, brown eyes dark and he spoke to no one in particular...except one who wasn't even truly in the room.

"I promise."

Clearly, both men assumed the promise was pointed at them...much to their excitement. Yakura nodded and extended his hand, which Seiji took with a firm grip and shook, all while the man said,

"Exactly what I wanted to hear. It'll be nice to have some sort of assistance with this matter. Though, I didn't catch your name. Best we have it if we're to stay in contact."

Seiji nodded in return and said,

"Oh yes... It's Yamada Seiji."

Oishi, who at this point was packing up their supplies, briefly overheard their conversation and glided over to the two, catching the tale end when Seiji spoke his name. Bright stars gleamed in his eyes and said,

"I knew I recognized you! You're that amazing artist behind "Souls Beyond Nature." Ahhh it's such an honor! I'm a huge fan. And I'm a huge fan of Hanasaki's work as well. Oh when this is all over, it would amazing if I could get an autog-"

"Oishi, shut up, we're on the clock here! Be professional!"

Yakura smacked his assistant with his notepad and ushered him out the door, all while Seiji gave them his personal cell phone number, trying not to chuckle. Yakura shook his hand once again and said,

"We'll be in touch. Just...stay with him for now. This might be more difficult for him than we're actually seeing."

"I understand....Thank you, sir."

With that, they left and Seiji shut the door, resting his head against as the entire reality suddenly crashed on him hard.

This couldn't be real. There was no way in hell this was actually happening right now.

Takeo was out there....he was alive and kicking and was looking for Sono...Seiji felt sick. There were so many things going through his head, so many scenarios about the sickening possibility of that madman finding his love first.

He would hurt him...he could kill him...Seiji couldn't let that happen.

His vision was getting hazy with anger, his own body trembling with unfamiliar emotions. He had felt anger before...just not like this. He had never been so pissed off in his entire life...and he wasn't even sure what he was so mad about...

"Seiji?"

In the haze of his anger, in the fog that was his own rage, Seiji heard Sonos voice loud and clear, turning quickly to face him, immediately taking in his look.

His eyes were red, but dry....like he had rubbed them too hard and tried to avoid making them watery. His hair was a mess...he clearly had ran his hands through it too many times. But his voice...he sounded wrecked...tired...afraid...

Looking around the apartment, Sono rubbed his right eye with his palm, asking,

"Where did...where did they-"

Seiji didn't let him finish. He peeled himself away from the door and practically threw himself at Sono, wrapping his arms around him tightly and kissed his temple, feeling his lover shake in his embrace.

The younger kissed his head again, whispering,

"They left. They gave us their contact information in case something happens and told me they'll be in touch...are you feeling ok?"

Sono shook his head in the comfort of Seijis chest, muttering loudly,

"Honestly? I feel...confused. I should have known this day was going to come. Takeo's always been this way..he's always been...obbsessed with me...I thought it was over with. I thought after I left Fukushima, things would be different...I thought I was safe...I guess not."

No.

In no way, shape or form would Seiji allow Sono to think this way.

Pulling away from their embrace, the younger gripped the blonds face in his hands, forcing them to lock eyes and admitidly snapped louder than he wanted to,

"Hey! Sono, if that's supposed to be funny, it isn't. Listen, those two are here to protect you...and for that matter, so am I. What kind of lover would I be if I let anything happen to you. I'd never forgive myself...I'll protect you from Takeo. I promised that I'd always be there for you. You know that....don't you?"

Again, Sono scoffed and averted his eyes, mumbling,

"Why are you getting so worked up about this?"

"Because I love you. You trusted me with your life story....you trusted me with your body when we first met knowing all you'd been through...you trusted me with your heart when we first fought... Now I'm asking you to trust me with this....Sono... Do you trust me?"

At first, the blond refused to look into his lovers eyes. Even more so when Seiji tried to move his head to face him. The shame of feeling this way was starting to grip Sono harder than he ever wanted to admit.

But....Seiji was willing to help him...he knew this. He promised that night that he'd fight for the both of them and for Sono to relax around him....Seiji wouldn't hurt him...Seiji would never hurt him...he wouldn't abandon him...

Finally, Sono looked up into those soft eyes and whispered with a broken voice,

"Of course I trust you, Seiji. With all that I have."

Seiji seemed pleased with that, for now anyway, kissing the blonds forehead and muttered against his smooth skin, rubbing both his cheeks with his thumbs,

"Then let me be the overprotective boyfriend. Let me protect you from your past."

Sono didn't know what to say. He remained still as Seiji kissed his cheek and he couldn't help but close his eyes. The kiss was so tiny, but it felt so powerful. Even after he moved away, Sonos hand touched his cheek, a smile gracing his features. He didn't register that Seiji had moved to the kitchen with the vocal intent to make some tea, to calm them both down, but even after Seiji had left the room, Sono felt the love in that small kiss.

It reminded him of the kisses Naoki gave him when he was scared. Every time something bad happened, Naoki was always there to make him feel better...and then Takeo took him away.

The fear that he might do the same to Seiji made Sono shake in terror. Seiji had said that if anything had happened to Sono, he'd never forgive himself.

But Sono was more concerned with what might happen if Takeo did something to Seiji. Hurt him or kill him. He'd die. The force of losing Seiji would most likely kill him from a broken heart.

His fingers still remained on his cheeks as he felt tears roll down from his eyes, not realizing he was crying. His heart hurt. It hurt something terrible.

Getting the feeling back to his legs, he slowly walked to the kitchen and stood in the doorway, watching as Seiji washed some cups for tea, acting as though nothing was wrong.

Feeling like he was being watched, Seiji turned to see Sono standing there, cheeks wet with tears and he suddenly grew worried, cups forgotten in the sink and he said,

"Sono? What is it?"

He didn't say anything. He couldn't. If he opened his mouth, he'd break down in shambles. Instead, Sono walked over to his lover, his reason for life and embraced him, his tears flowing softly as he shut his eyes, letting out a choked sob as Seiji wrapped his arms around his small frame.

No words were exchanged; there wasn't much to say. The force of the day was hitting Sono hard and all he could do now was cope the best he could.

He felt Seiji kiss the top of his head and he let out another sob, trying to calm down. He couldn't break down like this. He had to remain calm for them both...he already hated himself for feeling so weak when he should be grown up enough to handle this...

But just feeling his lovers arms around him like this, lips touching his head, he had every reason to cry. He had to feel human and Seiji was his rock.

In such a peaceful yet sorrowful moment, Seiji held the blonds head to his chest, gently swaying him. It was all he could do. And he could only say one thing to him at this moment.

He pressed another kiss to his head and whispered,

"I love you."

And Sono held onto those words like a lifeline.

It was all he could do from crashing down at this very moment.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully, the wait won't be so long for the next chapter! I had a perfect writing schedule and everything!
> 
> And then life happened


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please read before continuing!
> 
> I wasn't planning on having this be so late (again!), but not only did my professional life decisions suddenly get called into question, I got hit with the worst flu I've had in 20+ years of being alive. So clearly, I'm being life blocked by life. Ha, jokes. 
> 
> That said, there's going to be a lot of changes with how this story may or may not flow; it's going to be more heavy on the emotions than I had originally intended. Which is good! 
> 
> Serious themes of self abuse mentally and physically ahead. And you remember that tag I have that reads 'Protective Seiji is a Scary Seiji'? We start to see a bit of that. 
> 
> Yay progress!

_"I know you're there....just come out and get it over with."_

_"I'm almost surprised you were able to see me....and that you know why I'm here."_

_"I'm not stupid, Takeo....I've known this was coming for a while..."_

_"And you're not scared?"_

_"....maybe a little."_

  
  


Sono was many things....or he liked to think he was a lot of things.

He often liked to look at himself in his bathroom mirror and remind himself that he was in control...and that nothing could hurt him unless he let them. Which looking back now, he felt stupid for thinking that way...he allowed people to hurt him all the time and simply took it like the useless man he felt he was.

These days though, whenever he saw his reflection from a shower or just getting ready in the morning, he could see the affects of his newfound love in his life...how happy he seemed and how bright his eyes had become. Thinking of Seiji always put a spark in his body that he hadn't allowed himself to feel in ages.

He liked to think back to when they first met...how they slept together that first night and how unusually peaceful he felt afterwards. Most nights would end with him bruised or neglected, him picking his clothes off the floor and masking his true emotions until he returned to the safety of his own home...to vomit out all his anguish rather than cry about it.

With Seiji, it was so different. He didn't feel that hurt or that sickness when he awoke the next morning. In fact, he felt great, refreshed and alive. He was determined to keep Seiji satisfied in anyway he could, be it his choice or not. He couldn't think to lose a feeling like this...not after he wanted it for so long.

That's what he thought at first...until their first fight...Seiji coming to his home with accusations of sleeping with people who merely asked...of using him...it was that moment where Sono felt a small crack in his resolve and had to rethink how he truly felt about himself...about Seiji...about everything.

Even now, with things going the way they had, with Seiji being so caring and understanding and supportive...Sono wasn't sure what he was feeling anymore. He used to think he was so sure about himself and how composed he was about life.

Those detectives threw his entire thought process completely out of whack. Now he wasn't sure about anything anymore.

It hadn't been longer than maybe 2 weeks since their visit; Sono barely made a mention of the situation. He refused to acknowledge it, down right denied feeling anything about it. He ignored every phone call from Yakura and Oishi, deleted every text and almost smashed his phone against his desk when they attempted to video call.

It had gotten so bad to where the detectives knew contacting the blond was a bad idea and had shifted all their updates to Seiji...who was understandably not happy to hear about Sonos lack of cooperation in the matter.

In fact, Seiji was so frustrated when he was informed of the current issue that he left work early and marched to Sonos apartment, knowing he was hiding out there and let himself in without knocking.

He wasn't there...his shoes and jacket were gone, along with his keys and wallet. That made Seiji calm down just a bit, knowing the blond had finally left his home, even for just a bit. He had even left Sono a note telling him he stopped by and to call him later when he was free.

Seiji received a text later at around 8 pm, when he was out with Yasuda and a few other friends, followed by a picture message of a stack of manga. Apparently, Sono had been called out for a last minute signing with his assistant and left in a hurry, bringing home a few new pieces from his fellow artists. He also apologized to Seiji, a heart at the end of the message. The younger man smiled; he couldn't stay mad at him for too terribly long.

But they were going to have to have a discussion about Sonos lack of interest with the growing situation they found themselves in sooner or later. The blond couldn't keep ignoring this...Seiji wasn't going to let him.

And Sono knew that. He knew Seiji was getting horribly irritated with him about the investigation...but what exactly did he want from him? Cooperation? Information? He didn't know.

He didn't care to know. In fact, he didn't care about anything right now. He tried to live his life the most normal way he knew how, waking up, going to work and doing what he could afterwards in order to continue his existence.

It wasn't until the start of week 3 that he realized how bad of an idea this actually was.

He had woken up nearly screaming from another nightmare, one of which he couldn't remember and was terrified to see that he was alone. In a mad panic, he sprung from bed and ran to his phone, pulled up Seijis number and almost hit call....then he stopped.

He instantly felt horrible for wanting to wake his boyfriend...boyfriend, right?....up so late in the night for something so ridiculous as a nightmare...but was it ridiculous? He didn't know.

Instead of phoning Seiji like he felt he should've done, Sono did something he hadn't done since he was in his 20s when dealing with nightly panics such as this.

He drank himself asleep. Pulled every bottle he could find in his apartment and gulped every drop down, not even finishing his 3rd bottle before passing out on his living room floor. When he awoke the next morning, he reeked of alcohol and sweat, his clothes sticking to his body and his head felt like it was being pounded by a bat with spikes.

It took some effort for him to get up off the floor and stumble into a shower, but the second he made it into his bathroom, he felt the lead feeling in his stomach suddenly shoot up his throat.

By the time he was finished, he had three missed calls from his assistant, 2 from his publisher and 1 from Seiji...he never felt more like a piece of shit in his entire life than he did right now.

Sono liked to think of himself as someone who had complete control of his life.

Now that didn't seem to be the case. He was slipping again...he could feel it. And what's worse.

He couldn't stop it.

~~

_BEEP_

_'Sorry, I can't come to the phone right now. Please leave a message.'_

"Sono, it's me....listen, I know things have been crazy...I'm sorry I haven't been around much but I have awesome news! I just put in the last pages of my newest volume! I'm officially free and all yours. I'm coming over now to celebrate. I love you. See you in a bit."

Seiji snapped his phone shut with a gleeful smile, putting it in his pocket and practically pranced down the streets of Osaka. It had been, by far, the longest few weeks of his career.

On top of buckling down and finishing up the last few pages of his newest work, which had taken a chunk of his free time and replaced it with long nights working with Ashi and Yasuda, Seiji had also gone through his interview with a popular magazine, asking him the usual questions about his inspirations and muses, family and friends, things like that.

The interviewer, however, brought up the question Seiji was not really eager to answer...but at the same time, TOO eager to answer.

"Yamada-san, another personal, if you don't mind. There's been some talk among the other artists about your relationship status. How you've had many wonderful women send you fan mail and even some confessing their affections for you, yet you politely turn them all away. Any words to your fans about who it might be that caught your eye? Or are you just not interested at the moment?"

Seiji had thought long and hard about the answer throughout that day, even going far as to ask Yasuda for advice...he was literally no help, as usual. He tried looking up proper answers on the internet so as not to raise a bigger scene, but he only got half assed websites.

In truth, had it not been for the picture Sono had sent him not 10 minutes before the interview started, he would've completely blanked out. He knew he had been unintentionally neglecting his lover because of work and he knew that being with Sono was more important now than ever considering the current investigation. He wanted this interview to end quickly.

But when he saw the picture of his lover curled up in Seiji's bed, dressed in that gray shirt he loved so much....nothing else...and giving such a soft smile, along with the text

' _Broke into your place to steal your clothes. Good luck on your interview. I love you.'_

it was like his brain was kicked into gear. He knew exactly what to say...to hell with everyone else.

"I...can't really say that I'm not interested...but I am in love with someone. Someone very special to me....someone who needs me. This person means the world to me, even if we hadn't known each other for very long. But I know all I need to know. I'm in love. That's all I want to say about it."

Oh lord, did that start the conversation in his building.

The day after the interview, Seiji was bombarded with questions from his co-workers, all demanding the answer to that ridiculous question. Seiji only blushed and walked past them to his computer, eager to start the first half of his last day in the office for a while. Even Yasuda showed up and asked him about it, unusually curious about the fact that his dear friend didn't mention anything about a love interest.

In truth, Seiji wasn't sure how to break the news to him about Sono...given what he thought he knew. So he kept it light and told him that he'd know sooner or later.

Yasuda clearly didn't like that answer, but left it at that, leaving Seiji to his work.

And just like that, his newest volume was ready for its final edit. All the pages turned in and sent to the publisher for clearance. Seiji had never felt more free in his life. Now he had a chance to finally and truly take care of his lover...who he hadn't heard from in a few days.

That was what worried him. The last Seiji heard from Sono was that picture message...then nothing. Each call went to voicemail, each text went unread. He even tried showing up to his publishing building, breaking their unspoken rule about not coming to each others work places, and found out from the front office that "Hanasaki-kun hasn't been in the office in a little over a week. I believe he filed for personal time and didn't give a specific date to when he'd return."

Seiji should've been fuming, but he silently understood. There was probably no chance that Sono had his mind on his work after that talk with Yakura and Oishi a few weeks back...but to actually file for time off work?

That was surprising, even for him.

Hence why he was excited to actually be finished with his work and take a long needed break, devote all his time to the love of his life and be sure he was taken care of. Starting with tonight. He had went to the nearest sweet shop and picked up a few of Sonos favorites, along with his own and was determined to put a smile back on the blonds face.

He even postponed a celebratory dinner with his friends just for this...something Yasuda was highly suspicious about, but didn't question it.

As Seiji made his way down the lit streets of the city, he pulled his phone out one last time to see if Sono called him back.

He didn't and it made Seiji frown a bit, but shook it away as he turned the corner to the blonds apartment complex, making his way up the steps and found himself in front of Sonos door, a smile still plastered on his face as he reached for his spare key. Once he found it, he slipped the key into the lock and turned, opening the door and walked in with a grin, saying quickly,

"Sono-san! You home? I have a surprise for you! I didn't know if you checked your messages yet and-"

The man froze when he shut the door and turned to face the inside of the blonds home. It was...almost like he walked into the wrong place.

Papers were strung everywhere, books and boxes that held books were toppled over and his work station looked a mess. Not to mention the whole apartment smelt of cheap booze, something that surprised Seiji to his bones.

Slowly removing his shoes, the man walked into the apartment, setting the bag of sweets on a neat by nightstand and immediately saw something that made him panic, though he kept his worries down his throat.

He was looking at Sonos phone, sitting on a nearby charger, lights blinking rapidly and a bunch of different colors. Feeling curious, he reached over and just...tapped it...to turn on the home screen. His eyes widened.

Dozens upon dozens of missed calls and texts, unread emails and notifications that seemed to scroll for ages. Some of these notifications dated back to a near week or 2 ago.

Now that panic was starting to rise in his lungs, not sure of what to make of any of this. Brown eyes furrowed as he looked around the apartment, opening each door, lightly calling his name and growing more worried when he didn't get an answer.

By the time he hit the kitchen, it was where his heart sunk. He instantly could tell where the rancid smell was coming from.

There were so many liquor bottles strung all around the kitchen floor, some of them were still leaking liquids. It was foul, regardless of the kitchen being more or less clean. This was ridiculous...

"Sono? Where are you? I know you're home."

Seiji was in near full panic mode when he left the kitchen and looked around the living room, trying to get an idea of where the blond could possibly be. He never left without his phone....his shoes were still in the walkway...Seiji could barely make out his wallet sitting on the desk...Sono had to be home. There's no way he could have just left without shoes or his wallet...or his keys sitting on the hook. Where was he?

The man was about to start calling Yakura, demanding if he had heard anything. He had pulled out his phone and was about to dial the detectives number..only to stop when he saw the curtain in front of the balcony door move a little...then he saw him.

Snapping his phone shut, Seiji carefully made his way to the glass door, peered through it and almost felt his heart snap into pieces. Well....he found him....that's for sure.

Except...this wasn't the Sono he recognized...not at first.

The blond was hunched up by the wall, dressed in his purple sweatpants and a light black sleeved shirt. His hair looked a mess, tangled and wild...he had a bottle in his hands and his face was hidden by his knees. He was barefoot and his feet looked almost paler than his entire body...how long had he been sitting out here?

Seiji had to approach this carefully; there's no telling what had happened and if this was what he thought it was...he needed to tread delicately. Slowly, he slid the glass door open and made his way to the balcony. The blond hadn't noticed him yet...  
  


Gingerly, Seiji got to one knee and carefully reached his hand out, muttering,

"Sono? Are you alri-?"

The blonds head shot up quickly, red eyes staring at Seiji like he hadn't been expecting him at all. Or rather didn't see him...all the way...at first. They locked gazes for a moment, Seiji flushing at being stared at so intently, his hand pulling back just a bit so as not to freak his lover out.

It took maybe a few seconds before Sono finally came back to himself and gasped, shocking Seiji further. Not by the actual gasp or by how he looked, but with how he suddenly responded.

"S-Seiji-kun! My god, I...I wasn't expecting you to come by today....I...haha, I look a sight, huh? Have you eaten yet? Here, I can make you something light. Give me a second."

With very little care, Sono shot up to his bare feet...gripping the edges of his balcony and dropped the bottle he was holding, using that hand to rub his forehead, groaning loudly at the pain in his skull. Seiji had never jumped up so quickly, steadying his lover with worry all over his face. He held fast to the blonds waist with one hand and snapped carefully,

"Easy, Sono, easy! Christ, you look awful. What the hell have you been doing all this time? What's with all the alcohol? You don't normally drink this much, do you? Is this why you've been ignoring my calls?"

The look that came over Sonos face was one of pure offense, but actual hurt. It shot a ping right through Seijis heart.

"Ignoring your calls?...oh...oh god, Seiji, I'm so sorry. I had so much going on through my mind I....I must've forgot to check my phone. Here, let's go inside and I'll get you something small. We can talk in the kitch-....shit!"

The sound of Sono swearing was one thing that made Seiji halt in his steps, but the fact that the blond broke from his hold and bolted into his apartment, slamming his shoulder against the door in the process, made the younger man clutch his chest in internal pain. He could feel his heart trying to stay together, but...this was what he was afraid of...his fear was happening right in front of him...and it was all happening much too quickly.

Gulping down his paranoia, Seiji made his way into the apartment, shutting the door and winced when he heard glass being moved around in the kitchen. He didn't want to face this, not yet. He thought there'd be more time. Sono couldn't be breaking down now...

When Seiji finally stepped to the doorway of the kitchen, he felt his heart reach. The sight of his lover trying (and stumbling) to pick up empty bottles ranging from sake to whiskey, all while trying to keep a level facade...god...Seiji hated this.

Meanwhile, Sono caught the man staring at him, a hurt look on his face, which Sono incorrectly interpreted it as disgust. He quickly smiled...forcefully...and stammered out,

"I'm really sorry about the mess, Seiji. It's uh...it's been a long week or two. But whose counting, right? Haha...I meant to tell you I took some time off work to kinda of clear my head...I guess I forgot...oh, how'd your interview go? I read the article and I saw your answer about your relationship status...that must've gotten people talking, huh? Here, I'm almost done. Then I can make you some dinner. You must be hungry. Anything speci-"

Seiji should've expected it...should've seen it coming. Especially with the way Sono was bustling about, tipsy as he obviously was. But he didn't and he felt even more disgusted with himself.

One of the bottles Sono was holding slipped from his fingers, crashing to the floor and smashed into pieces. The blond, in his drunken stupor, cried out in shock, not saying a word...then he dropped the rest of them and let out a broken noise...not to mention a string of rambled words.

"Shit! Shit! Shit! I'm so sorry! I...I don't know what's come over me tonight! God this is embarrassing! I'm sorry! I'll clean it up! I'll get a broom and sweep up this mess!"

The blond quickly got to his knees and reached out to pick up a piece of horribly sharp glass; that was the moment Seijis brain reconnected with his entire self and gasped loudly, jolting towards the man and gripped his wrist, swatting the bigger pieces away and yanked Sono away from the mess, pulling him to the other side of the kitchen. The force of the pull caused the blond to squeal and slam his face against the younger mans chest, not that Seiji cared in the slightest, ignoring the bruise probably forming near his ribs.

For a while, neither of them moved. The position they were in was very reminiscent of the night they first met, Seiji on his back and Sonos face pressed in his shirt. Except Sono was the one that was drunk...drunk and...in serious need of a talk.

Growling a little, Seiji forced himself to a seated position and gripped the blonds upper arms, forcing him to look into his eyes and said,

"Sono, for gods sakes, what's going on with you?! You've been ignoring my calls and apparently ignored your works calls as well! No one has seen or heard from you in weeks! And now I find your home in disarray and you drunk to the nines! Talk to me, Sono, tell me what's going on. I'm here to help you...you know this..."

The blond said nothing at first, eyes still wide and red, gazing at the younger man who held him so tightly. Even now, Seiji was starting to get anxious himself, gripping his lovers arms tighter so he couldn't break away from him. This had gone on too far. He could handle Sono wanting to be alone, but not if this is what he would be reduced down to. He wanted to help him....he promised that he would do anything he could to help him...but Sono was making it so hard. Why?

Why couldn't he just let him in? He already gave Seiji enough information about himself to make a mark, but why in the hell was he acting this way? Why was he being so reclusive?

Moving his hands from his arms to cup Sonos face gently, Seiji titled his head and said, in the most calmest way he could muster,

"Please...don't do this to yourself. You know I want to help you. I made you a promise that I'd do anything for you. Please...let me in. Talk to me, yell it at me, something. It scares me when you close yourself off from me and...and I have to find you in such a state..."

If there was anything Seiji was expecting right now, it was a well worded explanation from Sono, like always, about the way things were going. And if he knew him well enough, it would always end with a kiss to make up and talking things over in bed. It wasn't what Seiji wanted, but it was what he was used to.

However, when he watched Sonos face suddenly crumble and burst into tears, his expectations suddenly shifted. Moving to sit against the wall properly while still keeping his eyes locked on the blond in his lap, Seiji removed his hands from his lovers face and held his hips, rubbing his waist through his shirt, trying to calm him down.

It didn't work as well as he wanted, but thankfully, it was enough for Sono to wipe his eyes and open his mouth and start talking.

Well...more like expressing vividly.

"Seiji, I'm sorry....I'm sorry...I...I haven't been doing well since they showed up. I feel horrible...worse than horrible. I know you're here to help me...I know they're here to protect me...but it doesn't change anything. He's out there somewhere...I know he has that picture of us...me, him, Naoki...the things he wants to do to me...I...I can't even begin to think about it...but I don't know what to do...what to say, how to act....I knew he'd come for me eventually...I just....I wanted more time..."

Sono gulped in a large intake of air, wrapping his arms around his middle and lowered his head, only to have Seiji quickly cup his cheek and force his gaze back to him. When they locked eyes again, Sono panicked at the sight of his lovers heart broken look, mixed with a soft question,

"More time for what? Tell me."

The blond went on, feeling his throat hurt more and more as he vented, all while Seiji kept their gazes locked on each other, intent on making sure he didn't start crying as well. But oh dear...Seiji knew he wasn't prepared for this at all. 

"I wanted more time with you! I...I wanted us to be together for a long time...I wanted you for so long and when I finally got the chance to approach you...I was so happy. And then...you told me you loved me...you made me feel like I was the only person in the world. I wanted so badly to show you how much I truly love you...but...but now I'm scared. I'm scared that I won't get to...Seiji you don't understand what he's like...he hurt me many times before and I...I just let him! He took Naoki away from me! I can't bare that if he did the same to you! I'm not strong enough to face him...I never was...I don't want this, Seiji. I don't want to feel this way, but I'm so scared. I'm scared he's going to break down my door and kill me in my sleep...I'm scared he'll find out about you and use you against me...I can't let that happen. I've been drinking myself to death every night, trying to make peace with this...shitty situation, but I've only made myself feel lower than I'm used to...I don't know how else to explain it! I'm so tired...I haven't been able to sleep without being sick...I didn't want you to see me like this...Seiji, please! I'm sorry! I never wanted to worry you! I just don't want to lose you! I don't want to be taken away from you! I can't handle that! I'm not ready to lose you...please..."

Sono was in hysterics by this point. There was no hiding it. He doubled over in pain, his tears pouring onto his pant legs and over Seiji's shirt, his face red and head throbbing in agony from a massive migraine. It didn't feel good to say any of those things, but they had been brewing in his head for so long...too long and now that he just threw it out for Seiji to hear, he couldn't take it. It was eating him alive to feel this way. The idea that his life was coming to an end faster than he ever thought possible...the feeling in the pit of his stomach was starting to grow again and he tried to force it back, the taste of bile and regret all over his swollen tongue. All he wanted now was another drink and to crawl into his bed, go to sleep and never wake up.

By now, Seiji had been a silent spectator. The minute Sono had voiced all he had said, made his feelings and fears known to the man, Seiji felt everything in his body set to a primal protective mode he was completely unfamiliar with. He sat up quickly, scaring the blond for a moment before wrapping one arm around his waist, holding him close and kissing his knuckles with his free hand. From his knuckles, Seiji lifted Sonos palm, brought to his lips and kissed the center, many times, just for the blond to feel the love he was pouring into him. And it seemed to help, given how Sono had slowly stopped crying and simply stared at him through his exhausted eyes.

Seiji kissed his hand again, his own eyes burning with un-shed tears and said, his voice suddenly bursting with radiant instinct.

"Let me make this very clear, Sono...I'm only saying this once....No one, and I mean no one, is taking you away from me."

The blond gaped at him for a moment, but Seiji didn't let him speak. He gripped his hand tightly, pulling him closer and muttered through gritted teeth,

"I promised you that I would protect you from your past. I swore to you that I would fight for us if any hell came our way....I didn't expect it so quickly, but damn it, it's happening and it's real. I'm not giving up on you. You say Takeo's going to kill you? I dare him to try and lay a hand on you. I fell in love with you the moment I laid eyes on you. I didn't push past my own reservations to be with you just to lose you to fucking Mizuno Takeo, some jackass who went off the dead end just because you turned him down 15 years ago. That's not going to happen. I REFUSE to let that happen."

Sono didn't say anything, though he certainly felt the impact of Seijis words coursing through his heart. He was shaking violently in his lovers hold, new tears leaking rivers over his red cheeks. And when Seiji turned his gaze to the blonds chest for a moment, pressing a soft kiss where his heart was, he spoke out proudly, grip tightening over Sonos hips,

"You are not talking me out of this....I've made up my mind. I promised you I'd be there for you and I fucking meant it. I'm young and I'm stubborn, so he's not going to break me easily. I fight for what I love and what I love is you. He's going to need something stronger than a gun to take me down to get to you. Believe me...if anything happened to you...I'll kill him. I'll kill him myself. I've shot guns before; I'm handy when I need to be. I'm here for you and you alone, Sono. I made you that promise. And you know I always keep my promises."

....

"How?"

Seiji peered up at him through his bangs, slightly confused.

"How what?"

"How can you be so calm about this...? Everything that's happened...what's going to happen...Seiji...I...I thought you'd be just as scared as I am."

Is that what he thought? Did he really think Seiji WASN'T freaking out over this? God, if only he knew.

Seiji pulled Sono closer and brought his hand to his lips, kissing his knuckles and locked eyes with him, sternly saying,

"You think I'm not scared? Sono, I'm terrified. Everyday since Yakura came by and told us what was going on, I haven't been able to focus on anything but you. Had it not been for my friends and co-workers, I never would've been able to finish my work...but I did because I knew you needed me now more than ever. You're the most important person in the world to me...losing you would be the closest to death I could get. I can't lose you either...I won't lose you. Besides, if you saw me freaking out and crying, you'd think everything was impossible, that it's all for nothing....you need me to be strong for you and damn it, I'm not going to let him get to you. I'll protect you. You know that. I made a promise."

"Seiji...you keep saying that, but I don't offhand recall you ever promising me this much..."

Shit.

Shit.

Triple Shit.

Seiji wasn't prepared to let Sono in on the fact that for the last few weeks....someone was talking to him...someone who honestly, shouldn't even be in the same room as them. He couldn't fathom the reaction he'd get if he told his love that...that...

That Naoki was talking to him from where ever the hell he was. And how Seiji was not only able to hear him, but sometimes see him as well, was another thing he wasn't ready to tell Sono yet. Maybe not ever. The level of hysterics that may or may not follow made the younger man worry more than he should.

He had indeed made a promise to Naoki that night...every night since...that no matter what happened, Seiji would protect Sono with his life if he absolutely had to. But...Sono didn't need to know that...at least not right now.

Seiji sighed through his nose and pulled Sono even closer to him, shifting so they could get a little more comfortable, one of his hands now in his hair to pull his head to him, speaking with such clarity that it made the blonds heart clench in his chest,

"It's...complicated..but you know it to be true. So please....don't worry...I've got you. And I won't let anything happen to you..."

Seiji kissed the blonds head, soothingly, enough to make Sono whimper under his breath and it suddenly became too much for him to grasp.

The fact that Seiji was handling this far better than he ever thought imaginable...the fact he was willing to go to hell and back for him...the fact he made all these promises and declarations for him...god....Sono was much too drunk and emotional for this.

Pressing his hands against his face, sobbing quietly in his palms, the blond let out a loud noise in disgust with himself, all while doubling over again, resting his covered face on Seijis chest. The younger man kissed his temple again, hooking his arms under his lovers knees and adjusted them more comfortably against the kitchen wall. Seiji spread his legs a bit so the blond could rest between them, curled up in a ball and settled against his chest, tears still covered by his hands...the younger wrapped his arms around him, rocking him back and forth, whispering soft nothings at him, cooing him to calm down, ignoring the fact that he was just now realizing how badly the blond actually smelled.

Weeks of straight alcohol consumption and hardly leaving his home...Seiji had only heard of benders like this, never once wanted to experience it, but here it was...happening to the love of his life. He never felt more pathetic for not seeing it coming sooner.

In his head, he jotted down all the things he had to do once Sono calmed down enough to move around...hell, Seiji would carry him, he didn't care. He had to get Sono into a shower and cleaned up quickly, maybe purge whatever was in his stomach so he wouldn't feel so sick. Afterwards, he'd get him some water to drink and put him to bed...he'd have to clean up the apartment while the blond slept this off and air it out. There was a small store just a few blocks away from here; Seiji could easily sneak out and get some air freshener to spruce the place up a bit, maybe some-

"Yamada? What's going on?"

Seijis eyes snapped open so fast and shot his head to the doorway to the kitchen, almost not comprehending what he was looking at. He didn't even hear the front door opening at all...

Standing in the kitchen doorway was Yasuda, who had an unbelievably bewildered look on his face. He seemed surprised to see his best friend and co-worker on a dirty kitchen floor, embracing a man the way he was, but didn't think to voice it. Not at first anyway. Because Seiji opened his mouth first, suddenly more angry than he ever felt possible.

"What the hell are you doing here? You can't just go into someone else home without knocking!"

Yasuda blinked at him for a moment, saying,

"I did knock. Three times...it took me a while to even find this apartment after trailing you here, but the door was kinda open already and I heard yelling...this is where you ran off to? This is why you bailed on a congratulatory dinner?"

Seijis eyes narrowed at him for a second, silently cursing to himself, but had to catch his tongue...Sono had shifted in his arms and stared at him, almost unaware of the other presence in his kitchen, but somehow still heard the words that seemingly came from nothing.

"Con...congratulatory...dinner?"

Fuck...Seiji had forgotten about the reason he came by in the first place. The bag of sweets he purchased were most likely still sitting on the nightstand in the living room, but he pushed all that aside when he saw his lovers home in the state that it was.

He sighed and pressed his hand to Sonos hip, resting his head against the wall. He was starting to develop a headache.

"I...finished my most recent book. I sent it in to my publisher today and I wanted to surprise you...I postponed a dinner out with some friends because I hadn't heard from you in a while and I thought it would be a nice change of pace...you know...from what's been going on."

Many different expressions washed over Sonos face in a matter of seconds. It went from surprised, to pleasant....to shock and then to crushing agony.

"Oh god....oh my god....Seiji I...I'm so sorry....I feel so bad...I...you wanted a nice night and I ruined it with...all this! You shouldn't have turned them down....you should've gone out and had fun...instead of worrying about me..."

Sono had, at some point, bolted to his feet and back away from the men, smacking his back against his table and leaned against it, pressing a hand to his head, feeling woozy from all the movement. In no less than a second, he felt Seijis hands on his face again, pulling him in for a soft kiss, knowing he was ignoring the bad taste of stale booze, before embracing him tightly, speaking clearly into his ear,

"Sono, you know I'd give up so much for you. You need me. I need you. I'm more than happy to take care of you during this time...you know that. What kind of boyfriend would I be if I left you alone to wallow like this?"

The blond flushed brightly, all while Yasuda, who was silently watching them, felt his eyes widen behind his glasses and spoke the same word Sono did, albeit a little more confused.

"Boyfriend?"

"Boyfriend?!"

Seiji cringed to himself, forgetting Yasuda was even in the room, but chose to ignore that in favor of getting his lover to calm down. To hell with what his friend thought right now. Moving his hands from Sonos cheeks to lightly encase his neck, Seiji pressed a kiss to his forehead, whispering,

"It's weird, because I know you're so much more to me than just a boyfriend. But I love you. I told you from the get-go that all I want to do forever is to hold you...never let you go...but Sono, I need you to trust me. You hiding out like this and drowning yourself in alcohol is telling me that you don't trust me enough to let me help you...I know you're scared...I am too...but I'm happy to be strong for the both of us...you just have to let me do it...ok? Call me next time you feel this way, no matter what time it is. Whether it's early in the morning or in the middle of the night, I don't care. Can you try to do that for me?"

Sono didn't know what to say, not at all, but in the midst of everything Seiji had said to him all day, he couldn't help but feel his already tired eyes closing softly, tears gently leaving trails down his cheeks. He pressed his face into Seijis chest, crying in his shirt, trying so hard to keep calm, to hold back the vomit that was rising in his throat.

He wanted to sleep...he wanted to clean up and go to sleep, but everything was happening so fast. He couldn't trust to open his mouth and speak because he was afraid of what he might say.

So he cried...because that was all he could do at this point. And Seiji held him the whole time, pressing kisses into his dirty hair and rubbed his back, comforting him in a way he hadn't felt in so long.

However, his brain caught up with him and suddenly reminded him that he and Seiji were not alone anymore. Someone else was here with them. Through his tired, wet eyes, Sono peered over his lovers shoulder and inwardly gasped at the other man standing in his kitchen. He didn't know this person...but Seiji knew him...why was he here? How did he find them?

He especially didn't like the look on his face, eyes wide behind small glasses, mouth open and closing like he was trying to find the right words to say. He was quiet for a moment longer, before finally opening his mouth to speak.

It was meant to be a statement, but it came out in the form of a rather confused question.

"Sono.....as in....Hanasaki Sono?"

Seiji tensed immediately, his own eyes shooting open in horror. In his arms, he felt the blond trembling, like he was trying to get away from the situation. Seiji held fast to him, turning his head to face his friend in the doorway, who simply stared at them, a knowing expression all over his face.

"Ohhh now that makes sense...I was wondering why you got defensive when I told you about her...or I guess...not a her."

The unusual rage Seiji was feeling at this moment was unlike anything he had felt before. Try as he might, his eyes glared daggers at the man, all while keeping his arms wrapped tight around his lover, who right now, at this very moment, wanted nothing more than to be dead. His face said it all.

Any other day, he would've been able to handle this civilly and properly, like an adult. This was not one of those days. He wanted this man to leave, but he couldn't open his mouth. And he could feel how angry Seiji was getting by the aura he was putting off.

Yasuda didn't think twice about his next thought; granted, he should have, but in the wake of discovering his best friends secret romance with someone with such a horrid reputation, he just had to know.

So, he bluntly asked, 

"Seiji....what the hell have you gotten yourself into? How you do know he's not just using you like everyone says?"

The room felt tighter...suffocating...thick.

Seiji was put off by the fact that Yasuda actually used his first name...which meant...

Which meant Yasuda was more serious than anything at this exact moment. But that didn't stop Seiji from reaching down into his core and pulling up something he was now beginning to get antiquated with.

Trying to stay calm, he gulped loudly and said,

"Yasuda...you don't understand..."

"What is there to understand? We all know about Hanasaki's slutty reputation and just knowing he's actually a guy makes it a bit worse, not better. Or are you going to stand there and tell me it's not true. You've heard stories...lots of people use emotions to manipulate people. Is that what he's doing to you?"

"Yasuda...watch it..."

"I'm saying this as your friend, Seiji; you and I have been through a lot. We've seen people get into toxic relationships and we know what it does to good people. I don't want to see that happen to you. What's he giving you, anyway? Is sex with a slut just that good that you can't break from it? Or is there something else I'm just not seeing here? Was that interview response just to get people to stop bothering you? Did you just say all that to just- "

The motion was so quick, not one person saw it coming.

" **SHUT THE HELL UP!** "

Seiji had pinned Yasuda to the wall roughly with one hand, his other balled into a tight fist. There was fire in his brown eyes and even his friend looked shaken by the shift in demeanor. That voice that same from Seijis mouth didn't sound like him at all. It was deep and full of rage that in a matter of seconds, Yasuda began to rethink a lot of his accusations.

Though, he didn't get a chance to express it; Seiji pushed him harder against the wall and in that same deep voice...a voice he didn't even recognize as his own...spat out with so much venom,

"You shut the fuck up! You don't know anything about him! You think that just because you overheard some back grade gossip, you think you know what he's like?! You....you don't know shit...Talk about him like that again, I fucking dare you. As if you know what he's been through...as if you know what pain he's been pushed through his whole life! I won't let you talk smack about him anymore. I don't care if we are friends. You speak about him like that again in front of me and I swear I'll kill you...."

Yasuda felt every bit of blood in his body run cold quickly; sweat actually started to bead from his forehead, cold sweat and his couldn't think to look away from the man in front of him. His hands fought to try and push the man away from him, but Seiji was firm. His eyes were burning and the heat he was giving off was making Yasuda more nervous than he ever felt in his life....partly because he was confused, mostly because this was Seiji he was being threatened by.

Never in his whole life of knowing Yamada Seiji did he think the man had this much anger in him, this much instinct. For one person...Yasuda knew some of the girls Seiji dated in the past, but he never got this defensive over them. Not a single one.

His frightened eyes shifted to the other man in question and was...surprised...in some form or another.

The blond was still leaning against the table, brown eyes wide with horror and tear tracks all down his cheeks. He looked a mess...a hot mess...and it was like seeing Seiji react this way was scaring him more than whatever was scaring him before. He didn't...look....at all...like the kinda of person people described him as, gender misconception aside...Yasuda could see that even through his freaked out gaze. The man was trembling, his knuckles white as his gripped the table with one hand and the other tangled in his shirt. There was a spot on his lip that was bleeding...he had torn the skin biting too hard....and by god...he looked horrid.

In the same case Yasuda had his thoughts about the blond, however, Sonos brain was frazzled. Between the alcohol sickness, Seijis burst of unusual rage at his friend, and the fact that this said friend was apparently how Seiji found out about his slutty reputation...Sono felt sick...like..more sick than anything he'd felt in a long time.

The feeling in his chest was entirely too similar to that of when he was 17...watching Naoki beat those men to death with a crowbar...before they were both shot...left to die...Sonos eyes widened at the memory that seemed to shoot right past his vision, his sight distorting and warping in front of him. 

' _You almost took away the one piece of happiness I had in this world....'_

_'We didn't mean to hurt him! We were told to scare him!'_

_'He's mine....and you hurt him..'_

_'I got angry...lost control!'_

_' **I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!!'**_

Sono let out a pained sob and dug his fingers into his hair, tugging at the images flashing before his eyes.

Not again.

He couldn't do this again.

He didn't have the energy to do this again.

After struggling to push himself away from the table, Sono stumbled over to the two of them and slowly wrapped his arms around Seijis middle, resting his head between his shoulder blades, still crying softly but not as hysterical as he had been.

He rubbed his face in the material of his lovers shirt, mumbling loudly,

"Seiji-kun...please...let him go...no more...I can't take much more..."

The dark red haze that was clouding Seijis brain was thick enough to ignore almost everything around him. He had never felt so insulted in his life. Yasuda was his friend...how dare he....how DARE he come into this home and say such things...in front of the one Seiji would give his whole life up for?

How...how DARE he...

He heard the words that came out of his mouth...he felt every syllable roll off his tongue...but he almost couldn't believe he said all those things. To his own friend.

The things he said didn't even sound like him at all....it sounded so...different. Almost deeper and much more dark than Seiji was used to. But as quickly as he heard the words come from his mouth, the anger he felt was starting to slip as well.

The haze was starting to fade and in the very back of his mind, he thought he could hear Sono talking to him...pleading him to stop...he almost couldn't hear it. He could feel Yasudas heart beat in his fist, so much so that it was deafening.

He could also hear another voice, loud and familiar....and much more clear in his ear...it was cold and stern, followed with the feeling of ice on his shoulders.

  
  


_....Calm down...._

  
  


The reaction was almost too quick.

Yasuda yelped a little as he suddenly slid to the floor, rubbing his back and groaned as he opened his eyes and snapped his head to his friend, but stopped when he saw the look of pain on his face. Not to mention pale hands gripping the material of his shirt on his chest.

Yasuda could hear the blond crying in his friends shirt, but his gaze remained locked on Seiji...who looked as though he had just stepped through a mirror.

The man couldn't say anything at first...couldn't breath properly...his entire body was trembling like a leaf, eyes locked to his friend on the floor and suddenly let out a loud, shaken breath, muttering,

"Oh my god..oh my god....I...Yasuda...I'm...I'm sorry...I don't where that came from."

Yasuda didn't even attempt to be angry; he was still in shock, more so at what just happened than the actual action.

Raising his hand and getting to his feet with the other, eyes still on Seiji like a hawk, he said in a voice so calm, he was almost surprised at how calm he actually sounded.

"It's...ok."

Time seemed to freeze in that moment; both men stared at each other, bewildered and unsure of what to do next. Yasuda leaned his free hand against the wall to stabilize himself while Seiji just stared at him blankly, face flushed with humility and slight confusion. And it was only until he felt thin arms slid from his chest down to his stomach, a moan muffled in his back.

Seiji almost didn't turn around quick enough. With panicked speed, he was able to catch Sono before he went to his knees, his entire face red with inebriation, brown eyes glassy and wet with more tears. He let out a pain filled groan and rested his hand against his head, the other clutching his stomach.

As if anyone wouldn't be able to tell what this was....Seiji frowned and sighed heavily, running a hand through his lovers messy hair and fought back the urge to scold him. This entire night was becoming too overwhelming. All he wanted was to have a nice night in with his lover...but instead it turned into...this. Internally, he knew better then to place blame. But fuck...Sono was making this much harder than it needed to be.

Finally, after a long moment of ridiculous silence, someone finally spoke up.

"Yamada...go get him cleaned up and in bed..."

It was such a turn from where their interaction had started that when Seiji turned to look at him, wide eyed and shocked, Yasuda removed his glasses and rubbed his eyes for a second before putting them back on, saying with an embarrassed flush on his face,

"Go take care of him, ok? I'll....clean up in here for a bit. It's the least I can do...for sounding like an ass...make sure he...gets it out of his system...if you catch my meaning."

Given Seijis blank stare, combined with the loud groan from the blond in his arms, Yasuda's blush deepened and he coughed in his hand, muttering,

"Y-you know....he needs to purge sooner or later."

Oh.

Now it was Seijis turn to flush in embarrassment, even as his gaze turned to look at the sickly face of his love, who looked like all he wanted to do was die.

How the hell did he not see it sooner? Sono wasn't just drunk....he was sick. Really sick. By god, if Seiji didn't do something now, there's no telling what would happen if they stayed in this kitchen a second longer.

In a matter of moments, Seiji pulled Sono to his feet, (with some struggles) and gently lead him from the kitchen, silently thanking Yasuda with a glance before making his way to the bathroom.

Yasuda, for his part, simply nodded and averted his gaze as the men left the kitchen and headed towards the bathroom. After a long sigh through his nose, he got to work picking up some of the empty bottle so carelessly thrown and smashed around the kitchen, trying to piece together what the hell was happening and what exactly he had walked into.

While also wincing to himself, trying hard to ignore the sound of violent vomiting coming from down the hall.

\--

A loud PHEW left Yasudas lips as he leaned against the kitchen counter on the floor, half a bottle of whiskey in his left hand rested on his leg. He wasn't sure how much time had passed since he started cleaning; really, he didn't bother to check.

The sounds of puking still haunted his mind, along with the shower running and the muffled voice of his best friend trying to calm the other man down enough to get clean. He shuddered at some of the things he heard the blond say, loud enough (possibly still drunk) to really dig into his head. Something about needing more time and how he wasn't ready to leave yet. It was all jumbled and slurred, but Yasuda tried to tune it out as best he could.

He recalled how quiet it got a few moments after, the rustling of bed sheets and the groans that followed before it stopped. He remembered Seiji coming into the kitchen for a brief second to grab some water before leaving without a word...that was maybe 15 minutes ago.

Finally, it seemed like all was calm in the apartment and Yasuda leaned his head back, closing his eyes for a moment before he heard soft footsteps heading his way. When he lifted his head, he was greeted with the look of utter devastation on his friends face, his brown eyes red and the slump of his shoulders told Yasuda he was exhausted....or sad...could be both.

When Seiji made eye contact with him, Yasuda casually lifted the bottle of alcohol and tilted his head, saying without a care in the world,

"I don't think he'd mind if we killed this off."

It shouldn't have made Seiji chuckle, but it did. He gave a soft smile in response and shook his head, shuffling his feet towards his friend and slid down on the floor next to him, leaning his head back and heard liquid sloshing as Yasuda took a sip before handing the bottle to him. Seiji took it, albeit hesitantly, and took a large gulp of whiskey, grimacing to himself at how it actually tasted. Yasuda scoffed at him.

"Don't be such a priss. It's cheap alcohol; no one actually enjoys it unless they're trying to get themselves drunk....seems like that's what happened here, anyway. I found at least 10 bottles of this stuff laying around the kitchen. Don't get me started on the living room."

Seiji said nothing to that, only sighing and taking another drink, smaller this time, before handing it back to his friend, who took a similar sized drink before setting the bottle between them. He didn't want to remind himself of the sight he walked in on earlier tonight....the fear and panic he felt when he found his lover on the patio. Groaning, he ran his fingers through his hair and reached for the bottle again, taking another gulp before roughly setting it back on the floor. Yasuda watched him in silence for a moment longer, sighing and leaning his head back against the cabinet, staring at the ceiling.

The two men didn't say a word to each other, simply passing the bottle back and forth, occasionally taking a break from it and sat in silence. They both heard the sound of movement from down the hall, which made Seiji sit up quickly, but once it settled, he relaxed and sighed through his nose.

Yasuda stared at his friend with a piercing gaze, slightly tippsy from the cheap booze, but level headed enough to think his words through. He didn't want another instance where he was attacked by his best friend, so he tried to think think of a proper way to approach this.

Hell, there were probably millions of ways to approach this, but none of them seemed to sound right in his head. So, after taking another small sip of whiskey and turning his gaze away to stare at the kitchen door, Yasuda asked,

"So when were you going to tell me you were dating Hanasaki-san?"

Seiji slowly closed his eyes, obviously expecting the question, but wasn't too sure how to answer it. Even with Yasuda not even looking at him, he could feel the heat of his friends hurt stare from a mile away. He blindly reached for the bottle and took a sip, almost too tiny to call it one, and set the bottle against his knee, responding with,

"It's...it's not that simple, Yasuda. I wanted to...but...you kind of reacted the way I knew people would if they found out."

The man stared at Seiji for a moment, wanting to feel insulted by the answer, but he knew he couldn't. He knew his friend was pretty much right. He didn't respond like a friend would, rather like someone who just had the urge to contact a gossip forum. It made him sick with himself.

Sighing, he nodded and said,

"Yeah...sorry for that. It was just surprising. It's one thing to suddenly find out your best friend and co-worker is dating a guy...but to have it be Hanasaki Sono of all people...knowing what we know...or...I guess heard rather than know....but is it true though? Is he really a slut who sleeps with anyone who asks? I'm just asking as a concerned friend. And you kept this from me for a while...you at least owe me this."

Seiji gawked at that, rubbing his eyes with two fingers and responded with,

"Honestly, I owe you nothing. I knew what would happen if people found out about us. I knew that they'd immediately jump to the whole 'slut' shit. And that it would hurt him in a way that I wouldn't be able to protect him from...but Yasuda...this is different...I love him, but...there are things about him that I know he wouldn't want anyone to know..."

"Well, at least answer my question. Is he or isn't he? I'll accept whatever you give me."

God, did Seiji need a nap right now. That and migraine pills. This entire day was too much stress coming at him at once, but even then, he knew Yasuda was right about at least one thing, even if it wasn't actually said.

He and Yasuda had been friends for a long time, all through university and joined the same publication together right after graduation. They had been through a lot together and told each other everything....almost everything...

So he understood why Yasuda was pressing for information and was elated that he wasn't pressing for much. And even though he hated to admit it, he also knew that Yasuda was right about something else. He did owe him an explanation...

Exhaling through his nose, Seiji leaned his head against the cabinet door and said, almost slurring,

"Yes....and no. I mean, he was. I didn't know about it until you brought it up that one night. And I was pissed...like...really pissed. I confronted him about it and he said it was true...that he used to sleep with people who only had to ask him....I'll admit, I didn't take it well. Who would've, right? I yelled at him and ran out, not wanting to hear what he had to say...I accused him of using me...I felt heartbroken because I actually felt something for him..I really liked him...and I guess I wasn't ready to face the truth."

Seiji stopped for a moment to take a large drink of whiskey, seeing how the bottle was almost empty and handed it back to Yasuda, who slowly took it, eyes never leaving his friend. His face looked hurt, but his eyes read a different story. So he didn't say anything as he set the bottle down, letting Seiji continue.

Oh...did he continue...

"He followed me to some park near his place and...we talked...or rather, he talked and I chose to listen. He told me why he did what he did....that he just wanted to be happy and he felt the only way to get it was to...give himself away to people who wanted him in the moment. That's what he felt he was used to feeling...like he didn't deserve it another way....like he didn't deserve a lot of things...he told me how he fell for my work and by extension, fell in love with me and that seeing me for the first time made him panic...but he approached me and well...here we are. I gave him that chance because...I realized I loved him too much to lose him for something stupid like that. I think I fell for him the second I saw him even without knowing a thing about him...it's crazy, yeah...but something about us together just seems right...even...knowing what I know now about him...I just want to be there for him...and seeing him like this is way out of my range of knowing what to do. You and I have dealt with drunk people in the past, but-"

Seiji stopped when he felt a stern hand on his shoulder, making him snap his head towards Yasuda, who regarded him with a soft smile...all kinds of concern lacing around it.

"Seiji, I get it...sort of. You don't have to tell me anymore than you have to...I'm sorry for jumping the gun like that. I....didn't know. I should've shut my mouth the minute you tried to comfort him...he looked horrible. Worse than that. That's probably the worst I've ever seen anyone drunk off their skulls like that...he must be going through something pretty major to be this upset, especially to willingly drink crap like this."

"Ha...you don't know the half of it..."

"I'd like to. I'd like to help where I can, but I won't push you to tell me if you feel you can't. If he means that much to you...if you're able to act the way you did when I stupidly badmouthed him...then he can't be that bad. And I can make the effort to be a little nicer."

Seiji couldn't help the smile that came across his face, nor the laugh that left him immediately after. He wasn't even sure why he was laughing or why Yasuda started laughing with him...but it was nice. His nerves seemed to vanish after a moment and he felt relaxed...he was still on edge, but he felt much more relaxed.

The mood seemed much lighter as the men killed off the rest of the alcohol, standing on wobbly legs to gulp down some water before Yasuda mentioned he was leaving, that he had overstayed his unwelcome intrusion of his best friends boyfriends home. Seiji flushed a little as he rinsed out the whiskey bottle.

He had almost forgotten that he called Sono his boyfriend in the midst of all this chaos. Granted, he had called himself Sonos boyfriend before, at least, he remembered doing it the night Yakura showed up, but now it felt real.

Fuck....everything felt real at this very moment. His heart was pounding in his chest, even as he lead Yasuda to the door and opened it for him. His entire thought process was now more alert than ever...he wasn't too sure how to handle himself right now.

Yasuda, seemingly aware of what was going through his friends head, smiled and set his hand on his shoulder, saying,

"Yamada...relax. I won't tell anyone. I promise."

And just like that, Seiji deflated and sighed in relief, nodding as he watched Yasuda wave at him before walking down the stairwell. When Seiji shut the door and locked it, he exhaled a shaky breath, resting his head against the cold door, trying to regain his own bearings.

Too much was going on all at once; between finding his lover in the state he was in and having to introduce his best friend to the situation, Seiji felt more drained than he ever felt when working overtime for his manga. He needed a drink...a better drink then the one he shared with Yasuda.

But something he wanted more than just a drink, maybe even more than a drink, was to just...lay with Sono for a bit. See how he was doing. Seiji shut his eyes and winced at the memory of what he forced himself to do...what he forced his lover to do.

Never in his entire life did he have to force someone to vomit up everything they had ingested in the last few hours. And considering Sono had nothing to really...induce it, Seiji had no choice but to force it another way. He had never washed his left hand in such scalding hot water so quickly until today. Granted, he wasn't really worried about the state of his damn hand.

The second it was clean, he went right back to the blond hunched over his toilet, rubbing his back and holding his hair, forcing himself not to break down in tears each time he felt Sono lurch. This was hard to pull through, but somehow, he managed.

Getting the blond into the shower was probably the hardest part; he refused to stand still (or at all with how his legs constantly locked up) and each time Seiji tried to lean his head back to wash his face and hair, Sono would inadvertently try to drown himself with the shower water. So when Seiji decided to sit him down in the tub to properly clean him, that was when Sono started talking...sort of.

A stray tear dripped down Seijis cheek and he angrily wiped it away, not allowing himself to think back to the slurred words that poured loudly from his lovers mouth. He had heard them already but...hearing them said so loudly and absolutely drunken was...almost too much.

This whole night was too much. He needed a break.

As Seiji lifted himself from the door, he rubbed both eyes with his hands and sighed, internally thanking the universe for having him finish his piece so quickly. He knew that side projects would be coming in soon, but now wasn't the time to think about it. He knew what to expect if Sono hit an all time low like this...but he didn't expect it to be so soon.

Blindly, he reached for his phone and opened it quickly out of habit, seeing numerous missed calls from some of his coworkers and texts, but his gaze zeroed in on an email from Yakura, which he opened quickly.

It was thankfully brief.

_To: yamada.seiji@xxxx.com_

_From: Suruzawa.Yakura@TokyoPD_

_Subject: Update 4/24th_

_'Yamada-san, here's the update I promised you and I apologize for it being so late._

_As it stands, there is still no sign of Mizuno in Osaka, at least not where we have monitors and blocks. His last sighting was in Harajuku, so he's still in Tokyo for the time being. We will continue to track his movements and keep you informed of any changes to the case. I hope everything is well with you and Hanasaki-kun. His family is also demanding updates and I have not mentioned your assistance per confidentiality. Unless you'd like to change that; please keep us updated as well. Have a pleasant evening.'_

Seiji snapped his phone shut and set it back on the nearby table, running his hand over his face. He remembered mentioning to Yakura that he didn't want Sonos family to be known of his assistance just yet, not until things were finally settled and Takeo was put away for good. The last thing (at least in his mindset) for Kenji and Oto to know about was the fact that the person they're trying to protect has a partner that he didn't tell them about.

But another though hit him suddenly and he felt like an idiot, groaning loudly in his palm.

Sono mentioned that he hadn't spoke to anyone in his family in 15 years...so why was he being so secretive all of a sudden? Internally, he could've cared less if those men knew, but at the same time, he didn't want to put that added stress onto someone who was literally on the verge of a breakdown.

Seiji was tired, exhausted and just frustrated with how this night had gone. Without a word or even a real sound, he removed his jacket and hung it over Sonos desk chair, taking a moment to look at the contents of the papers Yasuda had picked up and set aside. His eyes scanned the area, seeing if anything was amiss...that's when he stopped and his eyes widened, his heart frozen in his chest.

If Yasuda saw this and just didn't bring it up, then thank whatever god was out there because how Seiji didn't see this was beyond him.

On the corner of his lovers desk was a golden locket, looking slightly worn over the years and it was opened, reveling the picture that was inside. When Seijis shaking hand picked it up and looked it over, he wasn't sure what reaction he felt the most.

Perhaps the overwhelming one was pity....or sympathy...

Because he was staring at that picture...the picture Yakura and Oishi had with them on their first visit. Really, he shouldn't have been surprised. He remembered Sono saying how he, Takeo and Naoki had lockets with the same photo throughout their last year of high school. It made sense that Sono still had it after all these years.

But the fact that Seiji was feeling anger just holding it confused him. He gripped it tightly, unsure of what he was mad at but the feeling was so strong, he almost crushed the piece in his hand.

There was a soft, chilling breeze in the apartment that seemed to wrap around his shoulders, grounding him for a second and made him release a breath he wasn't aware he was holding. Not to mention the cold wisp in his ear,

  
  


_...Don't be mad at him...it's not his fault..._

  
  


Slowly, Seiji set the locket back on the desk and backed away from it, shivering when that cold feeling tightened for a second, though nothing else was said. And when the cold chill suddenly vanished, Seiji turned around to look behind himself, seeing nothing but feeling the bits of cold in the air.

Then it was quiet and Seiji was alone. But his head felt more clear and he sighed, nodding to himself as he finally made his way to the bedroom, slowly opening the door and stepped inside, taking in the sight of the love of his life in bed and couldn't help but give a soft, sad smile.

Sono was still sound asleep, evident by how soft his breathing was, one hand resting up on the pillow while the other was settled on his chest. Seiji could see the level of exhaustion on his face, mainly the circles under his closed eyes and just how lax he looked. But even still...he looked at peace.

That's all Seiji could ask for right now.

Taking a moment to undress himself and fold his clothes, he occasionally looked back to observe the blond, blinking a few times when he finally saw exactly what he though he saw before.

Just like that night where he and Sono really had their biggest breakthrough, it seemed as though a visitor appeared yet again, not willing to let go so easily. That ghostly apparition was in his spot in bed, curled up on his side, one hand caressing Sonos pale cheek, the other seemingly lacing their fingers over his chest. His eyes looked hurt, but full of the kind of care Seiji thought he had only felt in his own.

And he knew the man was watching them...he only had to say a few words and he sounded so crushed...nothing like how he sounded when he spoke to Seiji these last few weeks.

  
  


_...Please...let me have this..._

  
  


Seiji couldn't look away, even if he wanted to. He was transfixed by the sight, seeing how heartbroken the ghost looked, knowing that his touches were merely cold wisps of air on Sonos skin. But the idea of it was beautiful to look at, Seiji realized.

But just as he got used to the sight in front of him, it was gone. The ghost had shut his eyes and faded away, leaving Seiji to blink a few more times before shaking his head, tossing his jeans to the floor and made his way to bed, getting under the covers and internally swore at how cold the covers were. He thought he heard a sorry, but he ignored it.

As he settled, he moved one hand up to his lovers cheek and rubbed under his eye with his thumb, smiling when he heard a soft moan leave the blonds pink lips. Seiji then moved his free arm to rest right under Sonos head, acting as a pillow, bringing him closer to press a soft kiss to his forehead, whispering into his skin,

"I love you."

The sleepy smile that came over Sonos face was enough to make this stressful night suddenly worth it. Seiji smiled in return and closed his eyes, his hand never leaving his lovers cheek, the frustration and anger he felt earlier no longer present. He promised the blond that he would protect and take care of him during this time...perhaps tonight was a test on that promise. And if so, Seiji liked to think he passed. If not, he wouldn't be feeling this content.

Regardless, the man relaxed and fell asleep quickly, pressing more sleep filled kisses to his lovers head, almost feeling how Sono completely turned to his side and cuddled closer to his chest, the hand on his cheek now buried in his lightly damp hair.

In his dreams, Seiji could only see Sono with him, in his arms and with a smile on his face, that cocky smile he loved so much when they first met, dressed in that same outfit that Seiji quickly decided was one of his favorites.

There was something else on Sonos person that made Seijis heart race and even when he slowly woke up from that dream in the middle of the night, tired eyes glancing down to see that Sono was in fact still sleeping, he couldn't stop imagining it in his head.

Could he? Could he really make that choice? Right now, he wasn't too sure but he certainly would give it some thought.

For now, he closed his eyes again and went back to sleep, blissfully unaware of the fact that in the living room, his phone was vibrating with a new email from Yakura.

At that same time, on the charger, Sonos phone also starting going off, still silent. It registered an incoming call.

The number was unknown.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter really spoke to me in such a personal way, especially the scene between Yasuda and Seiji on the kitchen floor. Seriously people, trauma and things like this are hard to take care of when you don't know how to really take care of it. Always check up on your loved ones! 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this piece! I hope to have the next one up sometime in September, maybe do a chapter a month if life continues to go the way it's going. We'll see!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Goddammit, I hate this chapter. 
> 
> Not because of how it came out, not at all. In fact, I think this is one of my favorites that I've written so far; Another personal of mine, if you will. 
> 
> No, I hate it because this was most definitely my freaking problem child with no real way to close it off. Weeks of staring total daggers and finally...FINALLY...it figured itself out. 
> 
> It certainly didn't help that my personal life took so much of my time that this was put on the back burner for so long. 
> 
> REGARDLESS!
> 
> It's up and now I can focus on the rest of this godforsaken arc that I'm literally putting tears into. You know.
> 
> For reasons.

_"Honestly...I'm surprised he isn't staying here tonight."_

_"As if his father would let him stay in a hospital...he wanted to get them both home to talk."_

_"Talk? Is that what he's calling it now?"_

_"No, Takeo...I mean an actual talk. Something they needed to do for a while."_

\--

"Is right here good?"

"Yeah...maybe a little lower. And more to the left?"

Seiji smiled, leaning over to press a soft kiss to the back of his lovers head before stepping away to pick up the wall shelf and move it to the spot Sono was pointing at, occasionally adjusting the hooks before turning his head, waiting for an answer.

Sono tilted his own to the right, brown eyes lost in thought but he smiled and nodded, giving a thumbs up. The younger man smiled and locked the shelf in place, taking a step back and let out a proud chuckle, all while the blond next to him smiled sweetly at him, walking to the shelf and tested its sturdiness. When it didn't move, the blond sighed in relief, standing straight and said,

"I really appreciate this, Seiji-kun. With all these books I found in my closet, I'm embarrassed to say I didn't have any space for them. Heh...kinda lack of insight on my part. And of course my arm locked up on me so I couldn't lift it the way I wanted to. Series of karma, I'm guessing."

Seiji gave a toothy grin and patted his lovers shoulder, gleefully saying,

"Well, when you called asking for some help, I had assumed it was another...you know...episode. So imagine my surprise when you were only asking me to set up a shelf. Nice change of pace, huh?"

The blond scoffed, but his smile never faded, nodding just a little. Seiji was right; this was a nice change of pace. Something Sono certainly didn't expect.

At some point in the week, when Sono had the weirdest itch to clean his apartment, he had found a large box in the top of his closet, filled to the brim with manga he hadn't seen in years, some from his college years and some from his time in the Tokyo publication. There was even some from his high school manga club and while it brought back memories, Sono wasn't too sure he wanted to look at them.

Naturally, he caved and sat on the floor in his bedroom, rereading his old work, smiling and laughing, admiring how truly inexperienced he actually was compared to how he grew into his field. Still, for someone so young, Sono had to admit he had a lot of talent back then. Even his old high school projects held a lot of promise.

In truth, he was actually surprised he kept all this stuff, thinking he had left it all back in Fukushima....his high school stuff, anyway. And in a weird way, he was pleasantly surprised to see it all again after all this time. Even as he scanned through the papers and old drafts, his smile grew each time he caught one that brought back sweeter memories than he was used to.

He hadn't even realized how late it was getting until Seiji had called him, asking if he wanted to swing by for dinner that night. And while Sono wanted to, he also wanted to sit and finish reading his old work, so he politely declined while promising his lover that they could have dinner together the next day. It seemed Seiji was pleased with that answer, given how happy the blond sounded at the idea, and left it at that.

Truthfully, at around 8 pm, Sono decided he wanted to hang up all these works as a token of his hard work...so he found a nearby used furniture store and purchased a wall shelf, the intention to set it up that night and surprise Seiji whenever he came to visit.

It didn't work out that way; the store he purchased the shelf from neglected to include the hooks needed for the shelf to hang properly, so Sono woke up early enough the next day to find a place and purchase them, which he did and was determined more than ever to set the shelf up that morning.

He almost had it, up until he felt a sharp pain in his shoulder that caused him to nearly slam the shelf on to the floor. By that point, he was getting annoyed and was left with no other option. He called Seiji and the man was quick to come by, asking the blond if he was alright and if he was needing something serious. Sono simply pointed at the shelf and blushed, not willing to voice his embarrassment.

Now here they were, shelf finally set up and the box moved from the bedroom to the living room, Sono organizing them how he liked while Seiji occasionally skimmed through them, beaming from ear to ear.

"I know you mentioned you were super talent as a kid, but damn....I didn't know I was dating a literal art prodigy...were you always this good?"

Sono flushed again, laughing to himself as he took some papers from the man and looked them over, tilting his head and said,

"Yeah...my parents kind of figured I was good at art when I was around 4 or 5. If you go back far enough, you'll find a sketch of a new school building that was meant to be a cram school. I'm the one who drew it and even won some money for it. My dad gushed about it for months....probably still does. I know he kept that article in some frame and I think it's in his office."

There was a weird look on Sonos face after that, almost sad, but not quite...almost a melancholic sort of look. Seiji gave his lover a once over before looking at some of the papers in his hands, smiling softly before asking,

"Do you...do you ever think about contacting your dad? Or your mom? Your brother? I know they miss you...they must if they're working this hard to keep you safe from...you know."

Sono chuckled a little at that, closing his eyes for a moment before turning to put the papers on the shelf, avoiding the question for a bit as he reorganized some old books. He could feel the burning gaze on his back and couldn't help but smile, turning to face Seiji and held his hand out, silently asking for the rest of the loose papers.

Seiji frowned a little, giving them over without question and watched as Sono set them on the shelf, a little annoyed that the blond was being so quiet. Though, he knew better than to press. The last thing he wanted was for Sono to have another meltdown like he had a month ago...

Gods...that was a month ago? It seemed like only yesterday...

The man had cleared Sonos whole apartment of alcohol that morning when he got out of bed, making a note to check the blonds cabinets whenever he came by. Honestly, he hated doing this and he knew Sono hated when he did, but it couldn't be helped. Booze was not going to help either of them in this situation at all and even Seiji cleared his home of any alcohol....just in case.

So far, things were fine; Sono hadn't had any episodes since that night and while it pleased Seiji to see his lover smile again, he was constantly reminded of a website that Yasuda had sent him regarding mental trauma in adults, the umbrella term that held so many things that connected Sono so tightly that Seiji felt horrible for leaving him alone so much. Though, he knew better than to bring it up.

He knew Sono was suffering from a lot of issues regarding this whole thing. And that night, when he hugged Seiji during the altercation with Yasuda, begging him to stop, it unlocked a new term that described plenty and Seiji, while beating himself up for not catching it sooner, felt even more stupid for having Yasuda of all people have to explain it to him...how he somehow knew what Sono was truly going through without even needing context. 

But when Yasuda brought up the idea of Sono needing to seek help with this...that maybe one day in this whole mess...Seiji would see that he wouldn't be enough for him...it almost drove Seiji back to that rage he felt before. 

Because really...the last thing Seiji wanted to do was try and convince Sono to talk to a professional about this...because given what Sono told him about his experiences with hospitals and doctors...it rarely ended well and Seiji didn't want to put his lover back into a situation he couldn't handle.

But he knew Sono suffered from PTSD...it was so damn obvious...but he also knew the blond suffered from so much more than just that...more things for Seiji to figure out as time went on and force himself to be strong for him...he needed his support more than he needed a doctor....for now.

"I miss them too..."

Huh?

Seiji's head perked up at the sound of Sonos voice, almost confused and surprised at the suddenness of it. But he quickly realized how they had both been standing there in silence, Sono facing his shelf while Seiji stared at the back of his head. The blond had his hand resting on a piece of paper, the other resting at his hip, all while his eyes were closed, a smile still on his face. A sad smile, but a smile nonetheless.

"Of course I miss them...there isn't a day that goes by where I don't imagine picking up the phone and calling my brother...see how he's doing...if he and Miyuki had a kid yet...congratulate him on becoming VP of our dads business....it's what he wanted...for a long time...I miss Oto...so much...but...I can't bring myself to do it...not after how we left things."

That last sentence alone was what drew Seiji from looking back at the spare papers and at his lovers back, seeing how he slightly curled in on himself and started to shiver a little. The man could almost hear his voice getting meek and withdrawn at the topic, like he usually did when they talked about his family, but Seiji was more inclined to ask gentle inquiries rather than dive in...just to keep Sonos peace of mind.

However, something about what Sono had said struck his impulse button and he couldn't stop himself from blurting out rapidly,

"What do you mean? Did he hurt you? Did you hurt him? What happened?"

Sono turned to face him, finally, eyes a touch wide and Seiji blushed at his sudden questions. But given how the blond merely chuckled at him, amused by his reaction, Seiji felt his unease fade off just a little bit. The only reason a small bit latched onto him was the look Sono had on his face, still chuckling but his eyes were somber.

Seiji knew that look well; it was the same look he had after he had told him about how his brother convinced him and Naoki years ago to get tested once Oto found out the true dynamics of their relationship. It was ease mixed with sadness, content sorted around with uncertainty.

Gods...Seiji absolutely hated to see that look on his lovers face. It was a constant reminder of what was going through the blonds head, the things he was thinking about still unknown to him and he himself was too nervous to ask blunt questions.

When Sono stopped chuckling, he shook his head and sighed loudly, muttering just loud enough for Seiji to hear,

"No, nothing like that. Just...the first weekend of university, Oto and Miyuki offered a place for me in their house and...something happened that first night...and I said some things to my brother that...I shouldn't have said...we haven't spoke since...I had always assumed he hated me for it but...I guess not..."

That only rose more questions than it did give Seiji any answers.

It was weird...why was it weird?

Oh of course....he knew why.

Given everything Sono told him, through his life story and through his surprised look when he found that Oto had funded the Task Force in Tokyo, it was fairly safe to assume that Oto Hanasaki was dead set on his brothers well being. Which made sense, given what the two of them went through together.

Oto was essentially the father Sono needed growing up and even that was difficult to put into perspective. Seiji was an only child, but was well aware of the relationship found in older siblings to their younger ones, a sort of surrogate parent when necessary, even when it wasn't really wanted. He could understand that Oto probably didn't want to be a secondary father to his kid brother...but then...he also had to think about what Sono went through and how Oto tried to make things better. He had to give him that.

Not very many older brothers can say they found their 6 year old brother bloody in bed, in tears and in a lot of pain over a grown mans horrible choices...not every older brother can say they watched their 15 year old brother become so withdrawn after nearly being tossed out by their father over something so ridiculous as first love...sort of. And Sono didn't go into much detail as to what happened between them after graduation...he simply left it at him leaving Fukushima and hadn't been back since. The only clue he left was something between him, his brother and his father and how it brought them closer...that was it and Seiji didn't think too hard about it. He didn't think it serious enough to ask questions.

But this was new information; Sono never mentioned his life in Tokyo during university and he certainly didn't mention his first night with Oto and Miyuki. And that he had...said something...to Oto that seemingly drove them apart.

Fuck...Seiji wasn't sure whether he wanted to press for answers or to approach this a different way. The internet could only tell him so much about PTSD and he didn't want to trigger Sono again by asking or saying the wrong thing.

Instead, he sighed and walked up to his lover, pushing away his curiosities about Oto for a moment to kiss Sonos forehead, muttering into his skin,

"Well, that's a good thing, right? It's good that he's making an effort to reach out to you. And who knows? Maybe this gives you a chance to try and talk to your parents again. You mentioned you had made up with your father throughout your senior year. And you told me that you had a good relationship with your mom...you did, right?"

Again, Sono smiled and sighed through his nose, more at the feeling of having Seiji so close to him rather than the thoughts going through his head...thoughts he wasn't really wanting to talk about, but he knew that he owed Seiji at least a little more context if he was to truly understand this situation.

Sighing again, this time through his mouth, he leaned closer into his lovers chest and said,

"Yeah, I did have a good relationship with my mother. If it wasn't for her, my father would've kicked me out a long time ago...but then, looking back, I think it was all talk. If he really wanted me out so badly, he would've packed my things for me and tossed me out like I was nothing...or maybe my mom is just that persuasive...I never thought to ask...but she was always the one who kept our family together...when things fell apart..and she always bragged about Oto and me for everything we did, big or small....I remember how proud she was when Oto graduated and how...overjoyed she was when I did...she always bragged to her friends about her sons...how one was going to be taking over her husbands company and how the other was going to be a famous manga-ka....and yeah, we had our fights...but somehow...she made things better...I can't deny that. She always knew what to do to make us come together, even if it was only for a second."

Seiji quickly took notice of how Sono locked up in his embrace, a tell he was becoming familier with and the younger man tried to tighten his hold. Unfortunately, Sono pushed back a little to remove himself and turn to face his new shelf, hands shooting slowly towards the middle section to grab a few papers, skimming through them and even though he was facing away from Seiji, the man could tell his lover was giving him a soft stare.

Even when he said his name, Sono only winced at the worry lacing his tone.

"Sono?"

The blond didn't turn to face him; he simply looked through the papers in his hands, recognizing them as old drafts he made when he was in middle school, before the whole business between him and Takeo nearly broke the relationship he had with Kenji...back when his father loved him so unconditionally that he almost killed doctors for him...back when things were 'easy'.

The papers showed how discontent he was with his life and how depressed he was, even before his relationship with Takeo was brought to light. He was unhappy and hurt, mainly from the memories and nightmares and scars left by Chino. But among all the things his family did to try and ease his pain, his father was always there to hold him when he wanted some sort of physical affection. Even long before middle school, when he was in the hospital, his father did everything he could to make his stay easier....like the blanket he loved so much. He remembered almost being sedated by the doctors after a horrible session went worse and how his father was called to try and calm him down.

Kenji showed up with the thick blanket from his office and wrapped a screaming 6 year old Sono in it so tight, he almost remembered feeling smothered...in a good way. He remembered how his father held him in that small bed, rocking him softly while still being swaddled in that comforting cloth, banning any one excluding his family into his room.

He even remembered the explosive argument that ensued after, when everyone thought Sono had screamed himself to sleep...he didn't. He heard his father yelling at the doctors, demanding to know why they were thinking of sedating a 6 year old child. He didn't hear what the doctors had said in response...he did hear his father threaten them if he found out about this again.

And he knew Kenji would made good on those threats...Sono wasn't dumb. He had been told stories of how protective his father was and how he was no afraid to literally make someone disappear for the sake of his family. Whether it was right or wrong didn't matter to him. And for that, Sono was grateful while at the same time conflicted.

But right now...in this moment...he was unhappy once again...only for other concerns. He hadn't heard Seiji ask if he was alright, or maybe he did and just tuned it out, but when he opened his mouth, he started venting about something he hadn't bothered to address in a long time.

"The relationship I had with my dad...it...it was very different from the relationship I had with my mom...when things settled down and he tried to mend things between us I...almost didn't let him. I couldn't begin to accept that the reasons he had for hurting was because he overreacted...I mean, he did, but I wasn't ready to take that as an answer...but even still... When Naoki told my father that he wanted to marry me after graduation...I was...honestly surprised that he was so ok with it...that he was more than willing to support us and help me...I guess after his blow up over Takeo, he had time to really think things through...everyday since then, even after Naoki died, he tried in some way to get back into my good graces...and it's sad that it took graduation to really bring us back together...the way he held me, the way he spoke to me..the way he was afraid to let me go...I...I felt like I was a kid again. I felt like I finally had my father back. He cried for me..I don't think I've seen him cry ever...He told me he loved me so much and that the three times he almost lost me...he couldn't handle it..and I believed him...I mean, he always used to say he loved his boys more than anything in existence...and how the love he had for Oto and me was something bigger than the love he had for our mother...and for a while...I never understood what that meant until..."

Sono suddenly stopped talking.

He could feel tears burning behind his eyes but he wiped them quickly, not wanting to break down again over something like this. Talking about his family hurt his heart, more so now knowing they sent police to protect him. He had spent years thinking they hated him for the things he did as a teenager, as an adult...he had a feeling they had heard the rumors about him, a testimate for how far he fell into the cliche of being a whore...for the smaller things, like never once trying to contact them and avoiding anything about them.

But knowing his brother sent detectives to hunt down Takeo and to keep him safe...it was almost enough to break him. He was so sure that Oto wanted nothing to do with him after that first night in his house...the things he said, things he'd done...he couldn't begin to forgive himself for it. The fact that Oto did forgive him...his heart clenched.

And he had to consider his parents in this equation...his mother was probably beside herself with worry...she knew enough about his experience with Takeo on graduation night to know how serious this was becoming. No doubt she would badger Oto and Kenji about it until the man was either taken in or shot down....and fuck...his father. Kenji was a beast when it came to the protection of his family...his kids...and the level of instinct he had regarding Sono among everyone else...it didn't help his already frazzled mindset.

Thinking about this hurt...actually knowing without knowing was painful as well...

From behind him, he could feel a warm presence getting closer until he felt soft hands on his hips, jerking him back into reality for a second. The grip on his sides tightened, grounding him, something he was grateful for and he let out a shaky breath, putting the papers back onto the shelf and stuttered out almost quietly,

"Seiji I...I really don't want to talk about this anymore. I miss them...truly, I do...but I'm just not ready to face them. Not yet. I need more time to...come to terms with Takeo before I even think of revisiting a relationship with them."

There was something to be said about the level of patience Seiji had at this point in the day. Never had he been so quiet and so intent on listening to someone unload like this. He didn't think he had that kind of attentiveness for something....until this moment.

Looking back on all the relationships he had, no matter how short lived, Seiji tried his hardest to be a good listener and found that sometimes...it was hard. It was hard to listen to tedious issues and complaints about little things. As a middle schooler and a high schooler, Seiji tried his best. And figured it was pointless.

But right now, in this very moment, he understood completely. Every moment prepared him for this...in some fashion. Because by god...he wanted nothing more than to just take his lover in his arms and kiss his hurt away.

Listening to Sono vent and go on about the feelings he felt about his lack of communication with his family, a family that so clearly still thought about him, loved him to death....it broke Seijis heart. It made him think of his own family, a family he couldn't get back...a family he lost at such an early age.

Seiji didn't care to think of the family he lost as he was always taught by his foster father to look ahead in life, to not dwell in the past. This was so different and he knew why Sono was like this. He lived such a painful life and to have it thrust back at him full force with little preparation...it was so...unfamiliar, but he understood. And the last thing he wanted was to put the love of his life through more strain than he was putting himself through right now.

He had moved to grip Sonos hips in a gesture of grounding comfort...he then moved his arms to wrap around his thin waist, a kiss to his temple and he said, comfortingly,

"Ok...I guess I can accept that. So long as you tell me whenever you're feeling like you need a shoulder to cry on....I'm sorry to just spring this on you."

Sono smiled and leaned back into the mans hold once again, closing his eyes and nuzzled his head under Seijis chin, mumbling,

"No, it's ok. I just...hadn't thought about it in a long time. Between telling you all that I did, then Takeo suddenly showing up...sort of...it's like I'm having to readjust to a few feelings that I put on the back burner for a while...you know? I'm not used to feeling this...vulnerable...I locked those feelings away because I felt I wasn't worth it...well...until I met you."

Seiji smirked at that, feeling cocky and prideful. While he didn't like hearing Sono talk down about himself, he knew better than to add fuel to this kind of fire. He locked focus on the positives of this situation, pressing another kiss to his lovers head and said,

"You don't ever have to hide these things from me. I love you and you know more than ever that I'm not just going to leave you like this. That's why I finished my book so quickly. I wanted all this free time so I could be with you. There's no where else I'd rather be."

He emphasized this by pressing more kisses to Sonos head, his hands smoothing over his shirt over his stomach and hips, adoring the sounds leaving the blonds mouth. They were moans, clearly, but they were mixed with laughs, giggles when Seijis hands brushed a ticklish spot on his abdomen.

Using this to his advantage, Seiji grinned and pressed his lips to the blonds neck, hands trailing under his shirt to touch his skin, nipping his skin over his shoulder. That little nip earned a loud gasp, followed by the blond turning in his hold, a smiling scowl on his face.

"Phft...you sweet talker. Stop trying to rile me up and kiss me."

Again, Seiji grinned and wove his hands into Sonos hair, pulling closer and pressing a hard kiss to his lips, drinking his moans and wrapped his free arm tight around his waist. The blond wrapped his arms around Seijis back, gripping his jacket and tilted his head, deepening the kiss and internally smirked when Seijis tongue snuck its way into his mouth.

In response, Seiji removed both hands and moved to grip the blonds thighs, picking him up and chuckled when Sono let out a surprised squeal, feeling thin legs wrap tight around his hips as he moved them both the couch. He sat down softly, allowing Sono to straddle his hips, not once breaking their kiss.

When they eventually did break apart, they both laughed soothingly, Sonos smile bright as his eyes as he layed his head on Seijis shoulder, pressing kisses to his neck and said,

"Can you believe it's Summer already? I feel like we didn't get to experience any of Spring together. We should've gone to see the Sakura trees bloom like every other sappy couple."

Seiji laughed out loud, itching his nose and blushed, patting the blonds leg for a moment before he responded,

"Haha, yeah, we missed the mark on that. But that's ok. There are plenty of things for us to do together in the Summer.....oh! That reminds me!"

While still keeping a firm grip on the blonds leg to keep him straddled on his lap, Seiji leaned over to the other edge of the couch to grab his bag, pulling it towards them and opened it with one hand, digging inside all while maintaining that soft grin on his face. Even while Sonos brow quirked a little in interest.

"I completely forgot about these stupid tickets. I got them in the mail a week ago and with all the chaos going on, it slipped my mind."

Sono went from interested to confused.

"What tickets?"

Seiji smiled at him, finding what he was looking for and pulled out on envelope, finally releasing Sonos leg and used both hands to open it, pulling out what looked to be two tickets, once again peaking Sonos interest. Especially when the younger man suddenly beamed at him, flashing the laminated pieces in his face, saying with such overly adorable glee,

"Hehe, I was gonna ask you properly, but since we're already on the subject...Sono, would you like to be my date for the upcoming Tenjin Festival?"

...

"...I'm sorry?"

Seiji grinned wildly and tilted his head, waving the tickets in his hands and said,

"You know. The festival that happens every July? C'mon, you know this."

God, the pink blush that formed over Sonos cheeks was so cute. His brown eyes averted away for a second, itching his neck and only flushed deeper when he felt Seiji shift to kiss his nose, knowing how flustered that always made him.

Sono scoffed and said,

"I..of course I know what it is! I'm just...what are you...tickets for what?"

The grin never left Seijis face as he kissed his lovers nose again, leaning back and moved one hand over Sonos back, moving him closer, ignoring the way he was now seated right over the half erection Seiji was sporting. Whether or not Sono felt it, he didn't say, but the way Sono was still blushing made the man chuckle lightly, running his hand up and down his back, responding so matter-of-factly,

"Haha, these are actually more like special passes my publisher gave us for access to the boats that take off down the Okawa River for the fireworks display. He has great connections with the event coordinator and he got us a private boat. We're allowed to bring plus ones...or dates, which ever. And I figured I'd ask you because...well...being my boyfriend and all..."

The pink flush that was on Sonos cheeks faded quickly as he paled, but Seiji wasn't at all bothered by it. In fact, he smiled softly, answering the question that was so clearly burning on Sonos tongue.

"Before you even ask, yes I know what I'm asking. I know because I've thought about this for a while and I know exactly what I'm expecting. I'm ready to show you off.....that said, if you want to give a fake name, that's fine too. I'll understand. I just want this nice evening with you. So, all that said, will you be my date?"

A date.

An actual date.

Not just a quick drink or a fast bite to eat....but an actual date.

Sono tilted his head again, thinking back to the last time he was out on an actual date with someone. Considering the life he lead and the reputation he inadvertently developed, he couldn't actually pinpoint a time where someone asked him out for anything other than sex.

In fact....

In fact, he didn't really remember a time when he or Naoki actually had a date. Granted, they had to keep their relationship a secret and maybe...maybe some of their outings could be considered dates, though not conventional ones.

Oh! There was that one time in university where he went out with a classmate one weekend during his final year. There was no sex to be had...at least not that he recalled. And it had been a nice night. Dinner, movies in the dorms, maybe a kiss, he couldn't remember.

So for Seiji to ask him this...invite him to this festival...as his date...as his boyfriend...his heart swelled. It had been too long since he felt proud of a relationship of any kind and to hear Seiji say that he wanted to show him off to his co-workers...he felt a smile on his cheeks and he even caught sight of the wild smile on Seijis face, finally finding his voice,

"...you...you're not giving a real reason to say no, so..."

He didn't get a chance to finish his thought.

Sono let out another squeal as he was suddenly hoisted in the air, legs once again wrapped around Seijis waist. Seiji had then kissed him, deeply, spinning him in his arms and refused to put him down for even a second, even as he felt Sonos hands grip the back of his jacket like a lifeline.

The younger mans hands gripped his legs tightly, kissing with such a dedicated fevor that Sono felt lightheaded once they broke apart, blushing from ear to ear as they locked gazes, brown eyes gleaming into brighter orbs. Sono couldn't help but chuckle nervously to himself, one hand detaching from Seijis jacket to tangle in his wild brown locks, nuzzling his face and said,

"Haha, I had no idea this meant that much to you."

God, Seijis smile could melt ice if given the opportunity. He practically beamed at him, kissing his lovers cheek, warm breath against his skin as he spoke,

"Any moment that I get to shower you with love and undying affection means more to me than anything. That and you saying yes makes me kinda playful. So sue me."

He emphasized this by dipping Sono ever so slightly and kissed his lips again, quickly, adoring how the blond gripped the back of his hair tightly, legs iron locked around his waist and when he eventually straightened up, Seiji only smirked at him, pulling him closer to his body, taking in the sound of a steady pulse in his chest.

Normally, Sono would've enjoyed every moment of this embrace, and right now, he most certainly did. But the feeling of his stomach growling at him had him flushing deeper red, hoping to hell Seiji didn't hear it and jump to conclusions....like he did a lot of these days.

Sighing loudly, he set both his hands on Seijis shoulders to try and push away, almost forgetting he was locked against his body, but Seiji kept a firm hold on him, pressing butterfly kisses to his collarbone and neck, trailing up to his ear and nipped at the skin every so lightly.

Sono gasped, then laughed to himself, gently hitting his lovers shoulder, saying,

"I get it, I get it. Now quit seducing me and put me down. All this excitement has gotten me famished. It's almost lunch time, so how about I make us something to eat?"

Seiji chuckled against Sonos neck and nuzzled his skin just a little longer before kissing under his chin, a sly look in his eye as he said,

"Ooooooor we could order in and snuggle up on your couch. I just helped you set up a shelf and you had a long morning trying to figure it out yourself. Let's just be lazy today. You don't have anywhere to be until tomorrow, right?"

The sound Sono made from his throat could only be described as a groan mixed with a sigh.

"Seiji..."

And he was immediately stopped with Seiji kissing his nose, a pout on his face and a near playful whimper, something that almost made Sono chuckle himself.

But then Seiji kissed the corner of his mouth and said almost silently...

"Come on. This is the first time in weeks I've caught you on a good day..."

....both men froze.

Seijis own eyes widened as he quickly replayed what he just said and he didn't even need to look at his lovers face to know just how...well, maybe taken back he after hearing that. But he knew. Sono may not tell him, but he most certainly knew.

The onslaught of emotions suddenly going through Sonos head and the mere offense Seiji took to his own words was more than enough for the younger man to gently set his lover back on his feet, arms now moving to wrap tight around his shoulders, holding him close to his chest and blurted out in a near fit of panic,

"Shit...oh shit, I'm sorry, Sono. I didn't mean it like that. I-"

In truth, Sono was slightly put off by what Seiji had said, but he wasn't really....bothered by it. There was truth to it, obviously. These last few weeks hadn't been the greatest emotionally and mentally for him...he cringed to himself at the memory of him being so drunk that even Seijis friend had to step in and help.

He hated feeling weak and unable to keep himself level, but fuck, that was just not a good night for any of them. He let his emotions and fears get in the way of his usual clear thinking and to know that Seiji sacrificed a lot to keep him happy didn't help matters either.

The days following that night weren't much better, in all honesty. Seiji stayed with him for two days, two long days, just to get him back to a sense of normalcy. He cleared out all the booze and went to the nearest store, loading him up with fresh foods and a plentiful supply of water bottles and coffee. And when Seiji eventually left, (or had to force himself to leave) it was like Sono went back to square one. The nightmares he'd been having didn't get any less vivid and when he worked, it was like he felt eyes on him, like someone was watching him.

It made him so nervous to the point where he tried to cover all his windows, but the darkness in his home only scared him more and he resorted to ripping off the curtains at 4 in the morning, just so the setting moon could shine some natural light into his apartment.

There was also the matter of the weird missed call he had from an unknown number, but he dismissed and deleted it, not wanting to jump to his own anxiety ridden conclusions. He was already frazzled. He didn't need anymore ammunition for this shit.

Sighing loudly, he shook his head and pushed Seiji back from him, looking at him with a soft smile and a light flush on his cheeks. He saw how nervous Seiji was from all this and Sono felt just a hint of pity for the both of them. There was no reason for them to be acting like this. This was supposed to be a good day. The first in a while.

Sono flushed deeper and cleared his throat, muttering loud enough just for Seiji to hear him.

"No...no you're right. This is the first time in a few weeks where I actually feel normal. I...don't want to waste it....and I do still feel kind of tired....I suppose I could...change back into my pajamas and...let you shower me with all that love you're always going on about."

The blond had wrapped his arms around Seijis neck as he spoke, getting close to him and when he finished talking, he pressed a chaste kiss to his lovers lips, coaxing him into his embrace and chuckled when Seiji growled in his mouth, kissing back almost desperately, one hand against the small of his back and the other gripped his golden hair, pulling away with a dark flush of his own, his brown eyes suddenly dark.

When he opened his mouth, the tone of his voice was thick and it made Sono shiver....just a little bit.

"Are you mocking me?"

Sono couldn't help himself. He giggled and bit his bottom lip, leaning closer to his lovers ear and whispered,

"Maybe....what are you going to do about it?"

There was more to be said about the level of tolerance Seiji had when Sono was this sly about his desires. And quite frankly...it was a huge turn on. What more could he say to that? Nothing, he realized, as he kissed Sono hard again on his lips, practically pulling him away from the living room and towards the blonds bedroom, the thought of food temporarily in the back of his mind.

\---

Never before had take out been such a well needed luxury. Sono let out a loud sigh as he tossed the food containers into the trash, absentmindedly rubbing his stomach and winced at how full he was. It had been quite a while since he had eaten a big meal like that...not that Seiji needed to know such things. Granted, he had to thank the man for buying them such a hearty lunch; he had forgotten just how delicious braised pork was until today.

He could hear Seiji in the living room flipping through channels, occasionally chuckling to himself over little things he found before switching to another network. Sono smiled to himself and turned to walk back to the living room, rubbing his neck and blushed as he situated himself next to his lover, eventually laying his head on his chest, nuzzling the fabric of his shirt, closing his eyes and listened to the sounds from the television, paying close attention to the sound of Seijis heart beat against his ear. His smile grew.

Of all things that eased Sonos mind during this rough time, the sound of his lovers heart beat always seemed to lull him to a peaceful state of mind. When they slept together or even just cuddled after a long day, the blond would always rest his head against the soothing throb of Seijis chest. It relaxed him...more than he actually had to consider. It was familiar to him, but how he couldn't really tell. He knew that when he was growing up and felt like he was in need of some sort of affection, he would find shelter in either his parents arms or his brothers. They always held him close to their hearts, giving him a chance to listen to their soft beats against their chests.

This sort of behavior was quick to be transitioned to Takeo...and eventually Naoki... then back to his father...his mother...Oto...

Sono gripped the bottom of Seijis shirt without thinking, his mind suddenly racing with images of his childhood, even if he tried to stop it. His eyes still closed but a smile long gone, he sighed and whispered,

"Hey Seiji?"

He felt the younger man wrap his arm around him gently, squeezing his shoulder in acknowledgment of him and he sighed, eyes cast down to glance at Seijis lap, not knowing where else to look as he said,

"Thank you..for a lot of things. Mostly for putting up with my mood swings these last few weeks...I know I haven't been the easiest person to handle lately."

Seiji smiled a little, but frowned quickly at the tone of Sonos voice. Chancing a glance down, he could see the conflicted look all over his lovers face, how he wasn't even making the effort to look up at him. In a matter of seconds, Seiji turned off the television and repositioned them so he could give Sono a soft kiss to his cheek, more for comfort than a romantic gesture, muttering against his skin while caressing his other cheek,

"Love, don't worry about it. I can certainly appreciate what you're going through. But try not to think too hard about it. Your brother hired these men to handle it and you know I'm here to protect you too. Sono...you're safe. You know that."

Yeah....

Yeah, he did know that, but for reasons he couldn't understand, he couldn't grasp the idea of being 'safe.' It was weird to him...his idea of safe was just...not at all whatever this was. He shivered as Seiji kissed his cheek again, eyes closing, trying so hard to capture the feeling of his lovers warmth and lock it inside of him...but he gulped down a lump in his throat and somehow, that opened his mouth and let loose a string of things he never thought he'd say.

He hated venting, he hated talking about his fears and his worries and goddamn it, he just had a wonderful day with his boyfriend....apparently, his brain wasn't having it.

"I know...but...it's hard sometimes. I know if I close my eyes on a bad night, I can sometimes see him. And I know he's looking for me...I'm trying to distract myself with some menial tasks here and there, but it's complicated. Takeo...he's a part of me. We grew up together. He was my first friend, my first love. And even when we broke up and...Naoki helped me through it...he was still a part of me. So...it's hard to just force myself to forget...the things we went through together...how does one just...ignore all that?"

"Sono.."

"I mean, I get it. He turned into a monster. All those people he seemingly killed before Naoki...after Naoki...15 years...I can't even begin to fathom how the families feel. Yakura mentioned a 17 year old student being Takeos first brutal murder...at least...in that regard...but it just makes me think of graduation and what he did to me...what he could've done to me if my dad hadn't intervened..."

"Sono-san..."

"And I guess that's just how it is. I should've known Takeo couldn't just...move on...I knew he was obsessed with me from the time we were kids...but I didn't realize it went this far...torturing and killing people who looked like me....I can't help but wonder what else he's done since that night....where this really picked back up...does he really want to kill me or does he want something else from me...I...I have this strange feeling that there's something I'm missing, but I don't know what it is."

"...."

"I can still hear him...the things he told me that night...how he was the cause of it all...well, maybe not Chino, but that's irrelevant now. Or maybe...I...I can't allow myself to consider that. But Seiji, Takeo is merciless. He payed those nurses and doctors to look the other way...he took Naoki from me...and he even got one of my fathers employees to...use me...and now he's coming for me. I can feel it...knowing it's true is one thing, but actually feeling him again...it...it's too much...I don't know...how else to explain it and-"

A loud SLAM shocked Sono to silence for a moment, gasping and bolting up right, eyes wide and suddenly alert. He looked around quickly and took notice that his television remote was now rested on his coffee table...and Seijis hand was gripping it tightly....and it was trembling.

Suddenly, everything Sono had said hit him hard in his chest.

He couldn't stop those words from leaving his mouth. His brain and his feelings took full control of his vocals and he blurted everything he had been feeling for such a long time...and it was all true. Regardless of anything he could say to negate this situation, there was no denying it. Sono knew from the moment he heard Takeos last words to him, he knew...he knew it wasn't over.

_**"IF I CAN'T HAVE YOU...NO ONE CAN."** _

It would never be over. Not until one of them was dead. Takeo had already taken Naoki out of the equation and there was only one left. Sono felt his heart racing and only then did it dawn on him that he had not only said all that aloud but to Seiji of all people...with wide eyes and an uncertain tone in his voice, he weakly tried to get his lovers attention...but was stopped with a halting hand and very hurt sounding,

"Don't."

Sono closed his mouth and averted his gaze, unsure of what to do. He hadn't meant to say all that and dammit all if the universe wasn't hellbent on making his life utterly miserable in terms of getting his shit together. But when he tried to look at his lover, he could see the hurt look in Seijis eyes...not to mention a frown mixed with a scowl...the younger lightly turned his head to look at the blond and his look shifted more towards a concerned sort of frustrated that Sono hadn't seen in a long time..from anyone.

"Sono, why do you do this to yourself? To us? No matter how hard I try to work with you on this, you always push me away like I can't handle you....like I'm not enough for you...which means Yasuda could be right..maybe you do need professional help...."

The room went from comforting warmth to awkward silence....then to bone chilling cold in a matter of seconds.

A dark look came over Sonos features as he turned his head to stare at the younger man and Seiji mentally slapped himself, gasping low in his throat.

Shit....shit shit shit. Why did he have to say that? Of all things he had to blurt out...so much was wrong with that entire sentence. He felt his heart sink to his stomach as the glare Sono shot him with seemed to be bordering on icy.

"Excuse me? How does he know about what's going on...you didn't...tell him, did you?"

Honestly, he shouldn't be getting as mad as he was, but just seeing how angry Sono was getting proved to be the tipping point and the loss of patience Seiji had throughout the day. The younger man glared back, trying to be respectful and said, calmly,

"No, I didn't. But Sono, it's so obvious. He didn't need to ask me anything, he can see it for himself. He's not blind and neither am I-"

"That doesn't give him free reign to just throw his opinions in. He's you friend, yes....but this is private. He had no right to make such ridiculous claims...but then...he's the one who told you about me...I can see why you trust him."

Seiji scowled deeper and Sonos glare only sharpened. They locked livid gazes for a moment longer before Seiji scoffed and looked away for a second, only turning back to spit out,

"Yeah, he is my friend. Yes, he did tell me about you. But he understands us now. He gets that I care about you and that you care about me. And it's because I care about you that he's worried about you too. He saw what happened between us in your kitchen and Sono, he thinks you're suffering deeper than I can see. And maybe I see it too, but you're not letting me in long enough to so anything about it....he...he thinks you need help. And honestly...I think you do too..."

The glare Sono had on his face was wiped clean in mere moments. And in its place was a look of pure horror. Seiji winced as he watched his lovers face crumble the way it did, knowing he shouldn't have said all that, but now he couldn't stop.

Well, now he did...but only because Sono gaped at him, backing away from him on the couch and stammered out,

"You...you're not suggesting..."

No.

Whatever Sono was suddenly thinking, it was an automatic no.

Seiji recalled every bit of the things the blond told him about his time in Chiba and how it only hurt him more. How hospitals freaked him out and how he hadn't been back to one since...Seiji shook his head. No matter how angry he was and no matter how much of an absolute train wreck Sono could become at any point....he wouldn't dream of putting his lover in a situation like that.

He wanted to hold him, hug him, anything. But Seiji felt the level of panic all through Sonos body and felt it dangerous to even try to get near him. He needed to be the level head in this situation and try to approach this as best and as calm as he could.

Turning so he was fully facing his lover on the couch, he sighed and spoke clearly, never taking his eyes off the blond.

"No. I know how you feel about doctors and things of that regard. I would never think or consider doing that to you unless you yourself felt it necessary....But...if you continue to let this get to you...I'm afraid of what you'll do to yourself, especially if I'm not here. You said you had a history of depression and anxiety and...suicide attempts. And I told you that feelings like that just don't go away, especially if you repress them the way you have for years...and...I'm scared, Sono. I love you too much to lose you to that....please...be honest with me. Right here. Right now...do you honestly think that Takeo is going to find you before the cops do? Is that truly where you're at right now mentally? Do you really think he's going to kill you?"

The look that came over Sonos face said it all and Seiji couldn't help but feel his heart snap. The blond didn't say anything at first, averting his gaze and stared at the couch cushions, a red flush on his cheeks. He was trembling and it raised so many red flags in Seijis head. His eyes narrowed and he scoffed, mumbling to himself,

"My god..."

The blond winced and snapped his head back to the man, his own eyes wide with panic and anger, not so much as Seiji and his doubts...which were becoming much more obvious, but over the fact that he was doubting himself once again.

Reaching over, he quickly took Seijis hand in his, trying to scoot closer and said, almost with a hint of annoyance,

"Seiji, I don't know. I told you before that this is a lot to take in. I don't know where I'm at right now and...you constantly badgering me about it somehow makes it worse. I'm 32 years old...I don't need you treating me like a child."

The scowl that Seiji had on his face made Sono pale for a second, removing his hand and pressed it against his own chest, feeling his own heart start to pound erratically against his ribs. It didn't help that Seiji stood quickly and walked away from him, over to the nearby desk, spitting his words like venom, not even looking in his direction,

"Forgive me for being so concerned about my boyfriends fucking well being."

God, he sounded so angry.

He didn't know what to say or what to do. His emotions were running amok in his head and when he looked down as his legs, his eyes welled up. In a broken voice, he said almost meekly,

"You...you know I didn't mean it like that..."

"Then how were you supposed to mean it!? Sono, I'm trying so hard here. But you're not making this easy for anyone!"

Whoa.

Sono had to take a second and process that Seiji had just yelled at him, something he hadn't once began to consider a thing happening....and he hated himself for getting just as angry, shooting to his bare feet and eyes narrowing, snapping back,

"Did you ever stop and think that maybe I didn't ask for you to try so hard?! No one asked you to promise anything to me! You're not a cop and you're not working for this special fucking task force! You don't work for my family, so why are you getting so worked up about this?!"

The room was hot and cold all at once.

Hot from the anger and pain Seiji felt in his loins...cold from the unbelievable chill in Sonos words. But even then, hearing those same words made Seijis heart crash to his feet. This wasn't supposed to be like this. This isn't what he promised those detectives....this isn't what he promised to Sono at all.

And oh god...it was like he could feel Naoki's infuriated gaze on his back, knowing where all this was directed to. The scowl on his face faced as he stomped over to the blond, taking noticed of how Sono tried to step back with no where to go, and roughly gripped his upper arms, staring daggers at him.

Again, as he recalled the night Sono came to his home with the intent of forcing Seiji to end their relationship, being rough with him while in the middle of an emotional outburst was something Seiji knew deep down he shouldn't have done, but this was getting ridiculous.

Shaking him a little, Seiji yelled at him again, not so much angry anymore, but more hurt and scared than anything else. He could see the look on Sonos face becoming less and less angry and more and more terrified. He was about to break. He could feel it.

"For Gods sakes, do you hear yourself right now?! Did you really just ask me that?! I'm getting worked up because I'm worried about you. Ever since Yakura and Oishi showed up, you've closed yourself off from me. You won't let me in anymore. And because of that, I've had to watch the love of my life spiral down into something that he's not letting me understand! Sono, I thought we talked about this....I told you I'm here for you...I promised you that I'd protect you and help you through this! Why can't you just accept that?!"

And once again, Sono let out a pitiful cry, screaming out loudly with a mix of fury and sorrow,

"I don't know!!"

He pushed Seiji away from him, almost knocking him back against the desk; the force of it pushed Sono back himself and landed hard on the couch, a sharp pain shooting up his back, but he payed little attention that. He was starting to breath heavy from the force of his words, angry at himself, angry at Seiji, angry at everything.

Hell, Seiji was angry that Sono pushed him back so quickly, but one look at the man on the couch wiped that feeling away so fast.

The blond was hunched over himself on the couch, eyes wide and glassy with unshed tears, entire body trembling violently and his breathing sounded...

...Off...

"...I don't know...I don't know....god, I don't know...Seiji, I don't know what's wrong with me!...I don't like being this way! I don't like not letting you in...but...somethings holding me back and I don't know what it is...and that scares me!...I know you're worried about me!...I know you're trying to help me...I just...I can't..."

Two things happened in that exact moment.

Sono suddenly stopped talking and one hand went to his throat, eyes wider than usual. His other hand went to the center of his chest, gripping his shirt and he broke into a cold sweat. He slowly turned to Seiji, who gave him a worried look, unsure of what was happening.

"Sono, you...you look really pale. What is it? Are you ok?"

...

"I can't...I can't breath...I can't breath."

Oh.

Oh shit.

Oh fucking shit.

Seiji went from worried to down right horrified in seconds. Bolting over to the couch and instantly dropping to his knee, he pressed his hand against the one Sono had against his chest while his other went to his mid back, not knowing where else to put it.

His mind was racing and his heart pounded like gunfire. His voice rambled so fast he almost didn't hear himself speak. He probably couldn't; all his focus was on the man hyperventilating on the couch.

"Oh god, oh god, what do I do!? Sono, what do I do?!"

The blond, while trying to gain control of his lungs, failing horribly, weakly lifted his heavy hand and pointed to his desk, not seeing how Seiji followed it immediately. He was able to weakly croak out,

"T-top...top drawer...in...inhaler..."

before going back to gripping his throat, trying to breath properly through his nose in an attempt to calm down. He felt Seiji jump to his feet and run to the desk. He heard the sound of his drawer being opened and things being rustled. His vision was starting to hurt.

As quickly as Seiji got to his feet, that's how quickly he made it back to Sono with something hard in his hand, gently pressing it against Sonos now lax hand. The blond squeezed it tightly and forced himself to bring the plastic to his mouth, pressing the trigger and inhaled so quickly that his body locked up.

He could feel Seijis eyes on him as he inhaled the medicine once, twice, before moving it away from his lips and gulped up a huge intake of air, falling back against the couch, his hand falling on his lap, gripping the inhaler tightly in his sweaty palm.

For a brief moment, it was quiet. Sono would occasionally gasp in another gulp of air before relaxing, rubbing his chest and throat off and on, closing his eyes and leaned his head back. In the haze of his head, he felt Seiji grip the hand that was holding the inhaler and he smiled...it was a weak smile, but a smile all the same. He couldn't move his head yet, but he let out a long exhale, whispering,

"..thank you.."

Seiji wasted little time after hearing his lovers voice. He sat himself back on the couch and wrapped his arms around the blonds body, holding him as tightly as he could without hurting him, his voice weak against his shoulder, asking,

"My god...what...what was that?"

Again, Sono exhaled and jolted when a coughing fit suddenly hit him. It pushed Seiji back just a little so he could breath, even as the blond tried to speak through his coughing.

" ***cough** * pan... ***cough cough*** panic attack..I'm fine...just...couldn't breath for a second."

Well then. That certainly did nothing to ease Seijis worries. Rather, it answered questions that Seiji didn't even know he had.

He recalled Sono talking about how his panic attacks as a teenager would make him impulsive, act out and do something reckless. How they could often lead to episodes if not checked properly. He had no idea they could lead to something this...this scary.

Trying hard not to come off as too intrusive, Seiji reached out and lightly petted Sonos hair, earning a confused stare but not much else. The younger scooted a little closer, whispering just loud enough for the blond to hear,

"Oh...oh god. Sono, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have gotten so angry at you. I just...I...god, are you ok?"

Again, Sono didn't say much. He simply rubbed his chest and let out a loud sigh, leaning over to place his inhaler on the coffee table before settling back on the couch, hand still lightly rubbing where his lungs were. He could FEEL Seijis own anxiety radiating from him and honestly...it made Sono chuckle a little.

"I think so...heh...that's why I keep an inhaler for moments like this..I know it's usually for asthma but...it helps when I'm alone....and they don't happen often but...pays to be safe, right?"

Seiji nodded and quickly let out a breath he couldn't hold in anymore. Never before in his young adult life did he ever experience something so terrifying. Watching Sono go through that was...eye opening and not in a good way. And it was at that moment Seiji realized something really... **really**....unsettling.

He knew nothing.

Absolutely nothing about the actuality of what Sono was going through...in his head. In his heart and in his body. He thought he had an understanding of it the night he found him drunk, but no. It was clear he had no idea. He had no clue of what to do when Sono started spouting off all he had about Takeo and his past and how he could somehow feel Takeo coming for him.

He didn't know how to approach it...and he lost his temper. He yelled at his lover when he should've truly been listening...Sono yelling back only made things worse.

And the thing that hit Seiji the hardest was the fact that he didn't know what to do when Sono was having a sudden panic attack....suddenly not being able to breath. He felt ashamed of himself.

Slowly and cautiously, he pulled Sono close to him again and internally beamed when the blond rested his head against his chest, closing his eyes and let out a noise of discomfort, rubbing his chest a little harder. The younger almost wanted to ask if Sono needed anything to help him calm down, but it seemed like Sono read his mind. He exhaled through his nose and said,

"I think...I think we need to just take a second. Seiji, I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have gone on and on about Takeo and what he could do...I don't know where that came from."

Seiji kissed the top of his lovers head, staring at the wall ahead of him, answering somberly,

"No, I'm sorry. I pressed where I shouldn't have."

"But you had every right to. You're here to help me...because you love me. I need to remind myself of that. Somewhere along these last few weeks, my brain just...forgot that you're not doing this because of some promise you made to those detectives and by result, my family...you're doing this because you love me and I love you. And I'm trying, Seiji, I really am. It's just...hard..."

It was enough. It was more than enough. Seiji knew deep down that Sono was hurting more than he was letting on, but today proved he was blind to the entire reality of it. Hearing what he heard, saying what he said in return....seeing what he saw....Seiji had to do better. He made a promise to his love that he'd be strong for him and today was a failure in his eyes.

And god bless Sono for all he was. The amount of pain he was in yet still was trying to fake his way to seeming normal...this wasn't how it was supposed to be...not at all...

But Seiji pushed those thoughts away for a moment to kiss his lovers head again, running one hand through his hair, lightly rubbing his back with the other, projecting his care into the man he gave his heart to. With a soft sigh, he said,

"I know. I know you're trying. That's all I ask for....but I also need to be more understanding of your feelings on this. We'll figure it out. We just need to calm down and think it over."

Sono groaned and moved his hand from his chest to his forehead, grumbling loudly,

"Ugh....the last thing I want to do right now is think about anything. All I've done these past few weeks is think and look what it's done to me. Seiji...I just want to shut my brain off for a while. My head is pounding and my body aches..."

That could easily be arranged.

Seiji smiled and huffed into silky golden locks, never breaking his embrace as he whispered,

"Let's go take a hot bath, then. Clear our minds for a bit. Afterwards, I'll rub your back and you can just drift away for a while. How does that sound?"

There was a pause....followed by a loud, exaggerated moan.

"That sounds...absolutely fantastic."

- _Hours later_ -

Seiji couldn't sleep...not for lack of trying.

The events of this entire day weighed heavily on his brain and his heart...he couldn't shut his thoughts off and his chest ached with his own stress. And the very last thing he wanted to do was leave Sono alone. Not after what he had seen. What he had been through.

True to his word, Seiji had gotten them both into a hot bath, his body propped against the back of the tub and his blond love perfectly seated between legs. Neither of them really cared about how much time had gone by, especially when Sono twisted in the tub and kissed his lovers neck, a silent apology for yet another day ruined by his emotions. Seijis gut clenched at that, but kissed Sonos forehead in return, an acceptance of sorts.

After their bath and dying each other off, Sono dressed down in some comfortable clothes, resting on his stomach in bed as Seiji layed next to him, rubbing his lower back and watched as the blond closed his eyes, drifting to sleep almost too quickly for Seiji's immediate comfort.

He wanted to spend all day with him like this; curled up in bed and ready to spoil him with unapologetic affections. Make up for the harsh words that were said...

But he couldn't.

In the middle of his back rub, Seiji had received an email from his publisher, congratulating him on the success of his latest manga and informed him that he was to come by the office immediately for a discussion on his next volume. Seiji frowned; the whole purpose of completing his recent book was so that he didn't have to go back to his publisher for a while and that he could spent as much time with Sono as he could. He tried to postpone this meeting, but his publisher was not taking no for an answer.

So, when Seiji was absolutely sure Sono was out for the night (I.E, sleeping like a log), he got him situated under his blankets and kissed his palm, his head, anywhere he could without Sono waking up. He then left him a note, apologizing for leaving so quickly and explained why, setting the note on his nightstand and begrudgingly left.

The meeting, if one could call it that, was so unnecessary and so ridiculous that Seiji left absolutely fuming, but didn't say anything as he made his way home, into his apartment....into his shower and eventually, into his bed.

Sleep alluded him...he tried thinking of things that made him tired, but all he could think about was Sono...how he was doing and if he had woken up yet to find his lover had left him...Seiji closed his eyes, telling himself that Sono needed his space and that he was trying his best to not come off as too clingy...

Occasionally, he would check his phone and look at his home screen...the picture of them together on Sonos couch when he fell asleep...he smiled and opted out of texting the blond, not wanting to stress him out further.

In the end, when Seiji finally had enough of not being able to relax, he got out of bed and into his living room, sat at his desk and pulled out his laptop, logging into his account....and did some research.

He spent a lot of time scrolling through sites of the same nature...taking notes of things he really needed to be on the look out for whenever Sono would have another panic attack. The last thing he was going to do was look like an ass.

Depression....PTSD....anxiety....things he knew Sono suffered from...but Seiji didn't know who to help him through it like he thought he did.

He had to fix that immediately.

At around 5 in the morning, 4 cups of coffee into his research, Seiji received three notifications on his phone, pulling him away suddenly from a video about depression in adults.

The first was a text from Yasuda, wanting to check in and see if things were alright. It was so like him to be up this early, probably doing his own drafts and figured Seiji would be up. Seiji responded quickly, mentioning how Sono had a panic attack and that he was doing some reading to find out how to handle it. Yasuda replied with one word....'Idiot.' and Seiji chuckled, knowing how true it was.

The second was an email from Yakura, being brief in mentioning how Takeo was no longer in Tokyo, but that there were still no signs of him in Osaka. Their search was still going and for that, Seiji was grateful.

The third was a text from Sono, who thanked him for his help and that he was sorry for ruining what was supposed to be a good day. He also mentioned that he felt slightly nauseous and couldn't stay asleep, but to not worry about him.

He even sent a picture of him in bed, curled up with the jacket that Seiji had totally forgot he left behind. It made the man smile and he responded with a heart and told him to have at least have a good day today and that he loved him.

Sono replied in seconds, responding with an 'I love you too.' before it went silent once again, leaving Seiji to go back to his research.

By 8 in the morning, just as he had downed his 7th cup of coffee, Seiji had an entire notepad full of tips, hints and methods to help someone....guide someone....through what he could only guess was the first of many episodes Sono may or may not go through.

Skimming through his notes and replaying what he went through yesterday in his head, he knew notes could only help him with so much. The rest would have to be all instinct.

But at least, with this, he was a little more prepared. Because he was going to keep his promise...he was going to keep his lover safe. He was going to keep him happy.

Or, at the very least, satisfied with himself.

And when Seiji finally got up from his desk to wash his coffee cup, a sour thought crossed through his mind. He now had a vague idea of where Sono was mentally and emotionally at this moment...honestly, he shouldn't have been too surprised. But at the same time, he thought back to everything Sono had said up to that point of his panic attack.

Those nurses and doctors just...allowed some madman to pay them off....look the other way while he went to go and kill an innocent teenager...simply because said teenager loved someone so much to the point of death. That same madman payed a business man to...to...and then graduation...

Sono didn't deserve that. He didn't deserve any of that pain. He suffered so much from the time he was a child right up to his saving grace that would've been his high school graduation...and Takeo ruined it.

He ruined it all.

The cup in Seiji's hand shattered in his tight grip, startling him out of his thoughts and he gasped, starting at the cuts in his hand, blood pooling and dripping into the sink. He simply blinked and watched his hand bleed and cover his palm in red. Never before was he this...livid at something he couldn't fully understand. And in that moment, it didn't matter.

All that mattered was that he was there for the love of his life. He swore he'd be with him and hold him forever. He wasn't about to let something like this get in the way of that promise.

He'd do anything to keep Sono safe...he'd give up everything if it meant he could take away the blonds pain and fears...his job, his reputation, anything.

And that's when it hit him. The tickets...the festival...Sono had said yes to being his date. He had almost forgotten...

Shaking his head quickly and turning on the water to rinse his hand, pulling him from his trance, Seiji sighed loudly to the open air of his kitchen. There was no point in getting this angry...not when Sono needed him to be level headed and strong for the both of them. Today was another wake up call that Seiji truly needed.

God...if there were anymore of these wake ups coming his way...he may just have to force Sono to move in with him or vice versa. That way, there'd be no worries of the other being gone for too terribly long and Seiji could ease up on his constant worrying.

That simple thought had Seiji chuckling to himself as he cleaned his hand. With all that was going on, with Sono going through his emotional shifts the way he was, there was no way he could even entertain the idea of them sharing a home...

Would he?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm honestly hoping people are liking this so far! 
> 
> And I'm hoping I can get at least once more chapter up before the end of the month. If not, October, here I come! 
> 
> Happy Friday, everyone! I'm gonna go drink some coffee and think about my life choices.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good....GAWD 
> 
> I have slowly but surely returned to our regular-ish scheduled programming! 
> 
> I am truly sorry for the long delay it's taken to get this out there. 
> 
> These last few weeks have been riddled with all kinds of horrid situations that I couldn't bounce back from. And now that things are slowly starting to calm down, if only a little, I can FINALLY get back to doing what I've wanted to do for months now. 
> 
> Continue this trouble maker of a story that I've been crying over for ages! 
> 
> I hope the wait wasn't too long and I know I'm going to have the next chapter up as promised some time tonight! 
> 
> Away we go! Hopefully, it's worth it! XD

  
  


_To: yamada.seiji@xxxx.com_

_From: Suruzawa.Yakura@TokyoPD_

_Subject: Update 6/30_ _ th _

_Good evening, Yamada-san. I apologize for the late email._

_As I had stated before, there have no changes in Mizuno's movements, but we are constantly receiving intel from our contacts all over the city._

_We did, however, respond to a disturbance nearest Tennoji late last night....as per your request, I will not provide any disturbing details._

_Hopefully, you and Hanasaki-kun are well. I shall be coming by in the next few weeks to instigate a face to face update should he feel comfortable. If not, you and I can sit alone and discuss it ourselves._

  
  


The city lights of night time Osaka were beautiful, as Sono came to find after years of living here. There were most nights he'd stand on his apartment balcony and watch the entire area light up with night life and people, even knowing that his general area was fairly quiet and well situated away from all the noise.

Tonight was no exception; the city was getting ready for the upcoming Tenjin and per extension, Seiji was preparing for it as well. His studio and publishing division had put in the final bits of their special treat, RSVPs and things like that. The blond recalled how excited Seiji was when he agreed to come as his date...he couldn't recall much after that exchange.

May was hard to get through, thanks to his ridiculous panic attacks and slight night terrors that followed. But thankfully, it passed quickly and June came and went with little issue. Sono had been so busy with his own work that he barely had time to really think about anything, much less Takeo.

He knew Seiji was always receiving updates from Yakura; sometimes the detective would show up to either of their homes just to go over any major changes. During those times, Sono would sneak away, not really wanting to hear what the man had to say.

His most recent visit was about something his team found in Tennoji at the beginning of July and what was....found there...rather who was found there. Sono wasn't interested in the slightest, opting to stay in the nearby bedroom or kitchen until Yakura left. Call him childish, but he didn't want to always be hearing about what Takeo could be doing or where he could be hiding.

His paranoia and ever increasing anxiety did a good job of that already.

Sono sighed heavily, bringing the cigarette he had back to his lips, inhaling a sharp tang of smoke before slowly blowing it into the warm, summer air. His lungs, still heavy from the inhaler he used about 20 minutes ago, protested the smoke for a few seconds before Sono forced his cough down, turning it into a soft grunt as he flicked ash into his nearby ash tray.

It had been a long day and the heat of summer really didn't make it easier. His entire work day was spent at home, alone, simply because he didn't feel like calling Seiji over for company. He was trying his hardest to not come off as clingy or too needy....not that his lover would've minded...he knew that.

But Sono knew that his recent episodes and panics were not something Seiji needed to deal with on the daily...he had been ignoring his friends and colleagues because of it and for that, Sono felt like they needed some space.

Well...he thought that at first, but when 5 pm came around and the air in his apartment began to feel suffocating (as it often did these days), he called his lover, the intent being to just talk to him, calm his nerves down a touch.

His voice clearly failed him; Seiji saw right through it and was over at his place in less than 30 minutes, groceries in hand and a smile on his face....bless him, Sono couldn't help but think.

The older man cooked them dinner while Seiji stood right by him, asking about his own day and how his recent book was coming along. The blond smiled and mentioned it was coming along as well as it could, though his mind was usually preoccupied elsewhere from time to time, so it was hard to stay focused.

Seiji didn't need to ask about what was bothering the man....and he didn't even voice his concerns. For that, Sono was thankful.

They ate dinner in blissful conversation before retiring to the living room, Seiji propped up on the couch with Sono settled next to him, legs bent over his lap with a stand on his own legs, going over papers and making some last minute touches before calling it a night. Occasionally, Seiji would get the blonds attention for just a second before pulling him in for a kiss, a short one, chuckling as Sono would push him back with his pencil with a grin.

The men settled in Sonos bed at around 10 pm, with the younger mans arm wrapped tight around the blonds thin waist, snuggling against his back. He slept sloundly like that...Sono, however, was still awake, irritatingly so.

His mind was going a thousand miles a minute and he couldn't find a comfortable position to relax in, especially with Seijis arm locked around his stomach. He wasn't too sure what was going through his head and frankly, he didn't want to pin point it just yet.

Exhaling through his nose, he gently, oh so gently, shuffled out of Seijis embrace and sauntered out of his room, closing the door behind him and made his way to his desk, opening the drawer that held his inhaler and gripped the plastic...he felt his heart race.

Without really needing to, he pressed the trigger to his lips and sucked in air, pulling away with a grimace, annoyed with himself and practically threw it back into his desk. It caused a few things in the drawer to shuffle around a bit, eventually scooting a bright blue lighter into Sonos vision. And that's when it hit him...he didn't need his ridiculous inhaler...he needed what was hiding further in that particular drawer in his desk...something he hadn't touched in a long time...

Another sigh and a puff of smoke; Sono closed his brown eyes and let his brain lighten up a touch with the nicotine, flicking the ash over his balcony before going in for another hit.

In truth....in all truth...Sono hadn't smoked in years. He really didn't feel the pull to unless he was ungodly stressed or restless. And it often took his mind back to the times he did smoke to relieve some sort of tension, regardless of it failing.

Like....Naoki's funeral...or that time he was assaulted in university...or every other time he was fucked and left alone....or even when he was raped and beaten several months (or weeks, whose counting) before meeting Seiji. He hadn't had the urge since...until now, anyway.

However, this time felt different. He was stressed (obviously) and he was horribly restless, but not to the point where he felt he needed to smoke. He just...wanted to. It felt good and he needed to feel good right now.

Because lately, he had been feeling like hell.

It didn't help that in his other hand, he held his old locket, opting to just go over its features one more time before putting it away forever.

It was always 'one more time'....for 10 years, it was always, 'one more time.'

His thumb opening the locket and snapped it shut a few times before he could bring himself to truly look at the picture, eyes glassy, but distant at the same time. There were times he wanted to burn this thing, but something always kept him from doing so...maybe it was nostalgia or maybe he was crazy....

Who knew.

He traced over both Naoki and Takeos faces with his thumb, admiring the way they smiled and hung onto a young Sonos arms like he would vanish if they let go. The man winced to himself, but chuckled, as if he could feel both their tight grips on both his upper arms once more, visualizing the argument the two teens had before Sono stepped in to calm them down.

That had been a good day, even though Takeo unintentionally ruined it by groping him on the bridge...triggering a memory of Chino...

...

Damn...that was a name he hadn't thought of in years either...honestly, given what Takeo did to him, it made sense that Chino was a footnote in his brain. But he was still there...and he was still a factor Sono felt even after all these years.

His skin crawled as he thought back to the nights the man would sneak into his room...touched him and said those things...gods...the night his family ran in and saw him the way he was...bloody and sobbing wildly...he could still hear the furious yelling from his father as he beat the living hell out of the man, threatening to kill him...

Sono brought the cigarette back to his lips, unable to stop the thoughts to himself if his father ever made good on that threat...a question for the future, perhaps.

"Sono? What are you doing out here?"

The blonds head perked up for a second, closing his eyes and inhaled the smoke from the cigarette, hearing the man behind him close the sliding door and make his way towards him. He knew Seiji caught the cigarette...he knew he could smell the smoke on him...it nerved him.

Gripping the smoke in his fingers and the locket in his other, he waited for the man to voice his disgust and demand to know why the blond was doing something so vile...he recalled mentioning to his lover some time ago that he used to smoke in high school after Naoki died and even sometime in university, but never thought to tell Seiji that the urge was still there. He wouldn't be the least bit surprised if he received an earful about this now or later. He could hear footsteps coming his way and his body shook a little once he felt Seiji right behind him, the cigarette tight in his fingers, eyes closed tight and waiting for--

"I was wondering where you ran off to...the bed was cold...heh...ironic since it's so hot out, huh?"

His arms wrapped tightly around Sonos thin waist, pressing himself against his back and kissed his hair, nuzzling the messy locks. Everything in the blonds body relaxed, his lungs taking in way too much smoke at once and almost immediately, he started coughing, unprepared for the unusually calm reaction he suddenly received.

Surprisingly, Seiji lightly patted between his shoulder blades, rubbing softly and kissed the back of his neck, cooing him just a little bit. He eased him through the coughs and reached up to caress Sonos chest through his light shirt, feeling his heart pound rapidly against his palm.

Finally, after a few minutes, Sono calmed down and took harsh breaths, forcing himself to breath through his nose and grip the edges of his balcony tightly. And in response, Seiji kissed his temple and moved to grip the cigarette from Sonos hand, flicking it over the edge, not acknowledging the gasp that left the blonds lips.

Sono wasn't given much of a chance to protest; his chin was gently gripped by Seijis soft hand and his head was forced to turn towards him, a light kiss pressed to his dry lips. Whether or not the younger man was put off by the taste of smoke, he didn't say or make a mention.

His other hand gripped the blonds right hand tightly, knowing he was holding the locket in his palm and rubbed his knuckles with his thumb, deepening the kiss and lightly licked the roof of Sonos mouth, drinking in his gasping moan.

Finally, when they pulled apart, Seiji regarded him with a soft smile, moving his hand from his chin to his neck, pressing a tender kiss to his temple, enjoying the tremble he received in response.

From his temple to his ear, the younger man whispered,

"Come back to bed...it's too hot outside for you to be thinking so hard...."

Was that really it? Seiji had nothing to say about...seriously? Confusion all over the blonds face and a light flush on his cheeks, unconsciously melting as the younger man wrapped his arm tight around the blonds waist, bringing him closer while rubbing his neck with his free hand.

He could feel Seijis hand move from his neck to his cheek, soft lips pressing against the side of his head again, him thumb rubbing just under his eye. It felt so good and so soothing that Sono couldn't help but let out a soft sigh in relief.

Though, he knew better. Something was on Seijis mind to be this...gentle...with him. Granted, Seiji was always gentle with him, but this seemed different. Like he was...holding back for some reason.

"Seiji....I..."

The man kissed Sonos temple again, his hand continuing to caress the blonds cheek so softly that it was...strange. But he said nothing as Seiji smiled against his skin, whispering,

"We'll talk inside."

Sonos eyes widened a touch, not so much in shock, but in understanding. With a nod, he allowed Seiji to pull him inside the apartment, which suddenly seemed so much colder than he remembered. He shivered to himself, setting his locket back on his desk and followed his lover back into the bedroom, his hand reaching out to grip Seijis tightly, internally smiling when Seiji gripped tightly in return. When they eventually made their way to the bed, Seiji surprised him again by forcing him to sit on his side, kissing the top of his head and mentioned that he was getting something to drink. Sono didn't bother responding as his lover walked from the bedroom, heard some shuffling in the kitchen and returned almost just as quickly with a glass of water and another smile.

Sono sipped the water given to him, not taking his eyes off his lovers smile, even as he moved back to his side of the bed and settled down, patting next to him. The blonds brow quirked, downing the rest of the water and scooted back to rest against the pillows, watching as Seijis arm came back to rest around his skinny waist again.

Once again, it was quiet and Sono flushed to himself, unsure of how to approach the elephant in the room...if...if Seiji even wanted them to really discu-

"I didn't know you still smoked, Sono-san...I..kinda feel like you should've told me..."

Well crap.

There went the soft approach.

Sono let out a frustrated sigh and tried to sit up properly, only to be pushed back against the bed roughly, suddenly...and looked up into Seijis face, no longer smiling but with a stern stare. The air shifted a little; Seiji could still feel the pounding of Sonos heart under his palm and couldn't quite tell if it was from nerves or from the adrenaline of the nicotine. Either way, his eyes narrowed as he sighed loudly to himself, sliding his hand from his chest and settled on his stomach, resting back on his knees, tilting his head and said,

"I...I know you didn't want to tell me. I'm not stupid...I know you're stressing. I just wish you'd think these things through before you decided to try and...well...I can't think of the term for it..."

Sono could see right away that Seiji was trying incredibly hard not to offend him with the knowledge of his smoking. He could also see that he was getting the absolute wrong idea.

"I'm...I'm not a chain smoker, if that's what you're worried about."

Seiji gave pause at that, eyeing the blond hard as Sono flushed darker, turning his head away and sighed loudly, almost annoyed, continuing his defense.

"I smoke to relieve stress when I can't think of any other way to. It helps...in some form or another, it helps. Even if it's temporary--"

"Ok, sure, I get that. But Sono, I really don't think it's what you really need if you're pushing yourself too hard. I mean...you never once told me you still had the urge..."

Sono scoffed a little, eyes averting away from the mans for a moment, simply staring at the closet door and groaned low when he felt a soft flush on his cheeks.

"I don't...not often, anyway. I told you. I do it to relieve stress. And I've clearly been stressed out these last few months...but it's not like the first thing I think of doing is lighting up or something. It just...happens."

The younger mans eyes narrowed sharply, clicking his tongue in suspicion.

"Uh huh....and when did this start?"

The blond flushed again, eyes softening as he finally looked back up at Seiji, one of his own hands resting on his chest, gripping his shirt where his heart was and sighed through his nose. He really....REALLY didn't want to have this conversation right now. He could feel his heartbeat slightly quicker than usual, but that was in no small part thanks to his recent smoke.

And it wasn't like he didn't trust Seiji with knowing about his ever so increasing worries...ok that was a lie. But then again, Sono really couldn't trust anyone with this. Though, if Seiji knew that, it would bring up more issues than they were already having.

With a shaken sigh, Sono closed his eyes for a moment and mumbled,

"Well...back in May...when I...you know...I started to feel that pull again, but I was able to ignore it because June went by so quickly and without any real problems. I was busy all that time, you were busy, but things were great. I felt fine."

"And now?"

The look in Sonos eyes when he eventually opened them told Seiji he wasn't going to like what he was about to hear.

"...I don't know...I guess...the weight of it all just hits after you ignore it for so long. And after Yakura's visit about what happened in Tennoji..with what happened to that boy....I guess I slipped a bit....I'm not trying to justify anything...it just helps me deal...not just with stress or anything...but mostly.....pain..or loneliness..fear..things like that...when I was younger, when I really wanted to just forget about the fact that I was...alone...and numb...I would...put my cigarettes out on my arms or on my thighs. Just to feel something other than nothing..."

Seiji's sharp intake of air interrupted the blonds thoughts for a mere second, confusingly, until Sono replayed with he had just said over in his brain. He flushed hot with embarrassment, waving his hands defensively as his boyfriend gave him such a stern look, a look that was slowly turning more predatorial. The blond gulped to himself, averting his eyes again and muttered,

"I..I don't do that anymore. Trust me, I've grown up from that. But back then, after everything that happened, when I was hurt, but couldn't really feel anything...I thought it was the right thing to do to myself. I felt like it was all I could do to make myself...feel something, you know? People used me, Seiji, and I let them. I've told you this...I allowed men to just...hurt me...for a long time, I thought I deserved it....sometimes, I still do..."

There was a harsh pounding in the blonds chest that made him stop talking and sigh to himself, almost in disgust. It certainly didn't help that Seiji's stare changed to that of sympathetic pity rather than irritation, only making his flush darker and attempted to hide his face in his knees.

Seiji didn't let him; scooting closer to him, the young man rested his hand on Sonos shoulder, squeezing lightly and said softly,

"Stop. We talked about this. You know you didn't deserve any of the pain you were dealt all those years ago. None of it was your fault. You know that....right?"

Sono gave a soft nod from where his head hid in his knees, making Seiji sigh to himself. He hated seeing the man like this, suddenly succumbing to his prior anxieties and doubts about himself. Seiji was trying his hardest to get Sono to work past all this, but damn...even after knowing what he knew now, it was like he was discovering new things about Sono that he wished he knew beforehand.

Like...the extent of his self harm...cigarette burns to his skin? Seiji internally felt relief when he thought back to the times they shared in bed and didn't see a single burn mark on him, let alone a scar or two, but just knowing it was how the blond dealt with things...it still cut him pretty deep.

But then, probably not as deep as the level of hurt Sono felt on a daily basis...whether in his body or in his head...things he never shared with anyone...until Seiji.

The younger man raised his hand and gently caressed the back of Sonos head, trying to comfort him in some way, before sighing again, not even thinking as he said,

"You know....I have a feeling that deep down...if he were still alive...he'd tell you the same thing.."

A confused brown eye peeked over from the blonds knees, giving Seiji a lost look of frustrated nostalgia and Seiji immediately flushed himself, internally screaming at himself for saying what he said.

Now why did he have to go and say shit like that?

No matter how bad this would get, this being....whatever this situation was...and no matter how chilled and frightened it would leave the man most of the time...Seiji had to keep those...visits...to himself. The idea that Naoki was still around, (albeit ghostly and in a kind of soothing way) and occasionally (VERY briefly) tell Seiji things or even ask him questions, knowing he couldn't respond in the way he'd want...well...

Seiji had a pretty good idea that Sono would not take kindly to that sort of information. If anything, he'd think Seiji was mocking him or making fun of him. Or he just wouldn't believe him. Like...at all. Either way, that was a can of worms Seiji was not willing to open just yet, even though the he recalled parts in Sonos story where he could almost hear Naoki's voice in his ear...feel his touches even though they were like icy air....Seiji had a pretty good feeling that Sono didn't think about it much anymore...like he thought Naoki had finally put his soul to rest...

God damn, was he wrong. Seiji wanted so badly to tell his lover that no matter what, Naoki would probably never be put to rest. Not while Sono was alive and still suffering as bad as he was. Then again...Seiji also had the thought that perhaps once this Takeo thing was settled and taken care of..that when Naoki could see that Sono was no longer in need of his protection...maybe then, the spirit could move on.

Seiji cleared his throat quickly when he saw that Sono was now looking at him with a lost look, the pink flush on his own cheeks fading as he rubbed the back of his head, mumbling, while still not even really looking the blond in the eye,

"Um...c-call it a hunch..."

Curious....really curious.

Sono put some thought into it, as he often did when his head was already jumbled with nonsense, eyes narrowing hard at his lover, who was still flustered and not meeting his gaze. It was a look he was familiar with, but not at all bothered by....at least....not by much.

In fact, right now, even with this serious conversation going on, Sono smiled and leaned his head on his knees, admiring his loves slight embarrassment. It was kind of adorable.

A soft chuckle left the blonds lips, immediately halting any rambling Seiji was doing and they locked gazes, with Sono running his fingers through his hair and blushed, muttering,

"Yeah...maybe you're right...no...no, you are right. I'm being silly."

It felt nice to see a smile on the blonds face, even if it was a more saddened smile than anything. Regardless, Seiji took it and smiled in return, sitting next to the blond and lightly patted his mop of golden hair, muttering through his grin,

"Damn right you are. But it's ok. I love you all the same."

To emphasize, Seiji planted a soft kiss to Sono temple, his hand cupping his cheek to pull him closer and internally exploded when the blond let out a soft huff of a laugh, reaching up to touch Seijis hand, turning his head and pressed a soft kiss to the mans palm.

After a moment, Seiji detached his lips from the blonds head and wrapped his arms around the mans shoulders, bringing him much closer to his body and felt the odd urge to ask,

"Hope, huh. Any particular reason you smoke those?"

Sono grinned, twirling a strand of hair in his fingers and flushed a pretty pink color, closing his eyes and thinking back to when he first found this particular brand pack in Naoki's school bag for the first time...and how the argument they had about it was short lived when Naoki agreed to not smoke in Sonos house.

For good reason; Kenji and Naomi would've had an absolute meltdown if their house started to smell like cigarettes and Sono couldn't help but laugh to himself at the memory, earning a soft smile from Seiji. Eventually, the blond settled down enough to say,

"Heh, they were Naoki's favorite when we were in school. His dad smoked them a lot and Naoki picked it up...god...I wanna say our 2nd or 3rd year. And...when he died...I felt like I should continue for him...kind of stupid considering."

Oddly enough, Seiji nodded and smiled himself, patting the blonds shoulder and said,

"Yeah, I get the thought process behind it...my foster father smoked those too when I was growing up. He said something about a friend who got him hooked on this brand and said he'd 'carry on the memory of someone he may or may not have gotten arrested.' Haha, god it was every day that he would come home with like, a new carton or so. My foster mom would be so pissed because our house would smell like smoke for two days and she would force me outside during the day so she could air it out."

The toothy grin on his lovers face made Sono smile up at him, resting his cheek against his knee. It was nice that Seiji could...sort of....understand his mentality behind something so simple. When Naoki died, sometime before the events of his funeral, Sono had gone through some of the things the teen left in his bedroom, things Naoki would leave behind in the even he'd stay over for more than a night, which was rare.

He had found an opened pack of cigarettes, maybe only two were missing and a 17 year old broken down Sono had lit one with a lighter he stole from his mothers candle drawer, sitting on his window seal, tears streaming down his face as he forced his lungs to accept the smoke. Since then, he only smoked when he felt he absolutely needed to...as he mentioned before. Never once did his parents nor his brother find out.

The smile fell from his face after a while when another thought popped into his brain, trying to figure out a way to ask the question he felt burning on the back of his tongue.

"Hey Seiji-kun?"

Seiji looked at him, still smiling and tilting his head in acknowledgment. Sono could do this; he could ask a simple question without panicking...without just blurting it out....

Filter failure in three....two...one...

"You always mention your foster parents...did...did you not know your biological parents? I mean, that's not bad or anything...I uh..."

The room suddenly became cold; the smile that Seiji had faded in seconds as he took in the look of curiosity all over the blonds face, not to mention the worried shock he carried in his eyes.

"Well...it's really nothing spectacular...but...my biological parents died when I was little."

.

.

.

.

There was a tense pause between them, clearly thick enough to slice through.

Seiji had sat up properly and leaned back against the headboard, sighing to himself and running a hand through his hair, while Sono shot up beside him, a horrified look in his eye, not to mention a brick red blush on his cheeks.

The younger man glanced over and smirked at him, finding his look almost funny while at the same time sympathetic. It was clearly a topic that would've been brought up eventually, given how Seiji would always mention his foster family in the most off putting ways. But these last few months had been difficult with the man trying his hardest to understand the cluster fuck of a relationship that his lover had with his own family....Seiji really didn't give his own a second thought. He honestly didn't care to half the time.

Of course, with Sono now aware of the glaring bombshell he just dropped, he figured he owed him a simple explanation. He chuckled to himself, fingers playing with a strand of brown hair, tilting his head to look at the blond with a somber stare.

"It's kind of weird to talk about, mostly cause I don't remember them as much as I know I should. I think I was...like..7 at the time. We were coming home from some event my father took us to and something happened to the car...either the engine failed or a tire blew, I can't remember. All I know is that we spun out of control and it was like...they knew this was it....there was no way we were coming out of this alive...but even with that, my mother unbuckled her seat belt and threw herself on top of me to protect me...it's dark after that. I remember waking up in a hospital like a week or so later, doctors fussing over me and making sure I was alright....by the time they finally told me my parents were dead, I kinda felt...like I was having an out-of-body experience."

There was a questioning look in Sonos brown eyes that Seiji couldn't help but laugh at, even if it was laced in empathetic seriousness. He pressed one of his hands to his chest and patted where his heart was, inhaling before he continued.

"Like...my body was there, but my soul felt different. Like I was watching everything happen from above me. I don't know how to explain it, but when I came back to myself, I was already being adopted into my foster family."

Again, another look of concern from the blond, but his gaze softened a touch when he saw Seiji smile to himself. Clearly, this sort of thing was something the younger man had time to deal with whereas Sono felt a little childish.

Never had he considered his lover to be adopted...well...the foster parent thing was a dead give away of sorts, but he didn't realize it hit hard in the worst way. He pictured some sort of neutral situation, whatever the hell that meant in his head.

But death? Death really took Seijis parents away at such a young age...it was...gut punching, so to speak.

It brought back memories of when Naoki died, the emotions he felt in the principals office, the way he and Ami comforted each other in the bathroom....he was 17 at the time...Seiji was only 7 when he lost his parents...

Gods....life was seemingly cruel to both of them...

Shaking the feelings from his brain for a moment, Sono scooted closer to his love, reaching out to grip his hand and ask, again with a flush over his cheeks,

"Did...did you know them...like at all before...?"

Seiji glanced down at their linked hands and smiled softly, leaning his head a little closer to rest on the top of a blond mop of hair, absentmindedly rubbing Sonos knuckles and clicked his tongue, continuing with his story.

"Yeah, I did. My foster father was actually best friends with my biological father. I knew them in passing as I grew up and such....my foster mother was actually the one at the scene of the accident, pulling us out of the car. Even before I blacked out, I don't think I've ever seen her that scared before. She's the one who told me what happened and hugged me, telling me that I was going to stay with them from now on...that the idea of me going anywhere else was abhorrent or whatever."

"She was there? At the scene?"

Seiji couldn't help the laugh that escaped his throat and the annoyed blush Sono still kept on his cheeks quickly darkened.

"Oh! Haha, I guess I should've mentioned both my foster parents were police officers. She was one of the first responders when the accident was reported by a passerby...I could've sworn I told you they were law enforcement."

Yeah...

Yeah, Seiji did mention that once before.

Granted, it was around the time when Yakura showed up with the news that brought them to this current state of situation emotions...but Sono didn't feel like going down that road right now. He coughed in his palm and muttered,

"You...you may have told me..."

Again, Seiji smiled, not at all bothered by this conversation like he knew Sono thought he'd be. If anything, it was long overdue. With a chuckle, Seiji gripped the blonds arm and yanked him as gently as he could into his lap. At first, Sono flushed as he straddled his lovers thighs, hands instantly going gripping the mans shoulders, but Seiji patted his hips and continued his story, thoroughly enjoying the weight of his boyfriend comfortable across his lap.

"Ahh, it's fine. Anyways, that's about the gist of it. They took me in and they raised me. And for a while, I thought I wanted to be a cop like them, but something was always pulling me towards art. When I was in Junior High, my grades were unreal. I excelled in practically everything they threw at me. And art was my favorite; especially manga. I don't know why at the time, but something about creating a world of your own that millions of people could read and enjoy...it sounded like a thrill. Anyway, you can imagine the reaction I got when I told my foster father that I wanted to be a manga-ka rather than a cop. He was surprised, but actually really supportive. He took me out and got me some awesome practice books and I took some classes after school. By the time I was 16, I had enough credits to graduate High School and head to university early if I wanted to...so I did."

Sono couldn't help himself; he laughed loudly to himself at the silly grin on Seiji's face. The idea of this man being so freaking smart, smart enough to graduate early and start college at such a young age....it was funny. Not insultingly funny, but Sono felt a little tickle in his throat at the image in his brain; a 16 year old boy being told he was smarter than anyone in his school and graduated early to start university early...Seiji certainly thought so too, considering he was laughing with the blond in his lap.

Finally, when the blond patted his chest to calm himself down, he wiped his eye and managed to get out,

"Really? At 16? Hah, you're making me sound so average compared to your academic success."

Seijis grin only got bigger, patting his lovers hip with his right hand and said,

"Hehe, don't think too hard about it. I didn't have many friends growing up, so I was able to concentrate on school...I mean, I guess I had a few friends. And a few girlfriends, but those rarely lasted. But my social skills really didn't pick up until university. That's where I met Yasuda. We were roommates for our last 2 years and we just clicked. We opted to join the same publication together and...well...you know the rest."

Sono smiled at hearing Yasuda's name, thinking back briefly to how the man helped clean his apartment after their...not so ideal first meeting. And while he wasn't too keen on someone he didn't know very well have some sort of personal knowledge about him (mainly from what Seiji had told him), it was nice that one of Seijis friends cared enough to help as much as he could.

Honestly, Sono wasn't used to another person reaching out to him and asking how he was doing. Seiji had mentioned that Yasuda asked about him every so often when they were in the office, away from prying ears. True to his word, Yasuda hadn't told a soul about what he saw that night and for that, Sono was grateful. It felt nice having someone else care in their own way...even if it was his boyfriends best friend.

Apparently, Yasuda asked about him a lot...an awful lot. Seiji had once told him that he had gotten annoyed with his friends constant questioning about the blond, but given that Yasuda mentioned he knew a thing or two about...mental illness (is that what Sono had right now? Or was he just afraid? Who knew)...it seemed logical and polite to ask about the person that his best friend was so in love with. Seiji seemed to understand that and didn't say anything else about it.

The blond sighed, rubbing his neck and smiled softly, going back in his brain to their original conversation and asked Seiji, almost sheepishly,

"So....about your foster parents...are they happy you're at where you are now? Do you talk to them much? Have you...um..."

He paused for a moment, already feeling a blush creeping on his face as he gave a shy smile, itching his nose and gulped loudly, asking while not even trying to look in Seijis direction,

"Have you...mentioned me at all?"

Good god, the blush on his cheeks was so damn cute. Seiji smiled softly at him, moving one hand from the blonds waist and tangled into his soft hair, bringing him down for a smooth kiss. Immediately, Sono whimpered into his mouth, arms wrapping around his shoulders and shifted to get closer, their chests pressed together as they broke their kiss, panting a little. The cute blush still painted on Sonos cheeks prompted Seiji to pull him in closer, chuckling as he said,

"Oh believe me Sono, if I could, I'd brag about you to them for as long as they could stomach it. Just hearing about how I found someone who actually gets me and loves me would be more than enough for them, gender aside. They were pretty understanding."

Oh.

Oh good, that was good. Understanding parents were a good thing. Sono couldn't help but feel giddy inside, like he was a teenager planning to meet his boyfriends family for the very first time. He never truly got to experience such a weird milestone (as people would put it) and the idea that Seiji's foster parents might like him...simply for making their son happy...he liked the sound of it.

"But I can't...."

The hand that was rubbing the blonds back suddenly stopped, pulling Sono from his daydreaming, almost not hearing what Seiji had said. Taking a second to register what was brought up, he backed up and sat properly in Seijis lap, hands planted on his shoulders and stared at him for a moment, tilting his head.

Seiji, in turn, sighed and leaned his head back against the head board, not looking at the blond as he said,

"They died a few years back."

....

Hello foot....meet mouth.

Seiji lifted his head to properly look at his lover, already away of the face he was probably making; he only chuckled a touch when he noticed how pale Sono had gotten, those brown eyes wide with shock and he tensed up hard in his lap.

It wasn't like Seiji didn't expect a surprised reaction. He knew what may happen should he ever bring this up. He didn't care much to think about it and when he did, it only made him more confused rather than sad...

But Sono was his boyfriend....his love....and he deserved to know this information. He practically told Seiji his entire life story and while Seiji felt his own childhood was dull and uninteresting, it didn't take a genius to know that the footnote of having two sets of dead parents could raise questions.

With a soft smile, Seiji ran his hands up and down the blonds thighs, eyes sharp as he looked at him, exhaling through his nose and said,

"From what I remember, or what I was told, my foster mother was dealing with a hostage situation and trying to talk the guy down. But he fired two warning shots at a nearby child and she shielded him. I think...I think she died on site, I don't remember. But my foster father was devastated and after he told me what happened...I...I think he killed himself. It's hard to know. They found him during a police raid and some say he was shot in the head by some criminal...but I think he just didn't want to be without his wife anymore. They were the absolute perfect team."

Sono wasn't sure what to be more horrified at. The fact that his lovers parents...both his biological AND his foster parents...were dead...or that he had unknowingly brought back hurtful memories in Seijis head. The latter didn't seem likely, as Seiji didn't look too deterred by it.

But oh god, Sono felt horrible. He didn't know anything about his lovers life before they met and he suddenly felt selfish. Never once did he think to ask these important questions and now that he had...he felt his heart sink into his stomach.

Along side a lead rock that sat in the pit of his gut...his heart rate was picking up and he felt the walls closing in on him...why did he have to ask such questions. Why couldn't he keep his mouth closed...

He started to ramble out apologies, hands fumbling over his shirt and his face feeling more heated, eyes looking everywhere except at his lover.

"Oh my god....Seiji, I'm so sorry...I...I didn't...."

His rambling halted when he felt such soft hands touch his cheeks, lips on his forehead and a very soft sigh breathed into his skin. And when Seiji pulled back, there was still a hint of a smile, a sad one at that, but the man shook his head and said, almost too calmly,

"Love, calm down...it's fine. I've had a long time to come to terms with it. I was graduating university when it all happened anyway. And..as sad as it's going to sound..we've always had a weird relationship....They treated me like I was their son, but they were also not shy about telling me I was adopted. So it's kinda...odd...I loved them, they loved me. But the parental/child bond wasn't really there. Still...it hurt for a while. After I graduated and started my job, I was kinda...zombie like for a while. But at the same time, I remember what my foster father would always tell me. Like, literally always tell me..."

Raising his pointer finger in the air, catching Sonos attention almost too quickly, Seiji closed his eyes for a brief second and spoke in a mock, deep voice, a hint of an accent (or an attempt of one),

"'Remember Seiji, life is only as screwy as you make it out to be. No one is going to tell you how to live it the right way and and don't let people tell you how or what to feel...but ever still, stop your crying. It only makes things worse.'....I do a horrible impression of him...and he always gave weird advice...half the time it made no sense."

A long pause wafted through the air before both men busted in laughter. Sonos hands rested on Seijis shoulders as he hid his face in the crook of his neck, laughing so hard he felt tears in his eyes. He could feel the younger man laughing in his chest, patting his shoulders and tried to breath as his laughter slowed into soft chuckles.

God...this was nice. The mood was light and everything Sono felt he needed in the last few weeks. He couldn't recall a time he laughed this much....not since his early 20s, or maybe even earlier. And god....Seiji's laugh was a beautiful sound...is this truly what he had missed out on for so long?

It was weird...but he liked it. A lot.

Seiji finally cooled down a little, a smooth look on his face as he exhaled a laugh, leaning his head back a touch, eyes gleaming up at his lover when Sono sat back a bit, continuing his story,

"Anyway, the first year was the hardest. I mean, I felt fine and all, but the reminder that I was alone kind of gets you in the heart on your worst days. Yeah I had my job, I had my friends, and I had this incredible life ahead of me...but...I don't know. Something was missing and I couldn't really tell what it was...up until maybe...a few months after my 22nd birthday."

Sono tilted his head, blond hair falling over his eyes and asked,

"Oh? What happened then?"

Another moment of pause....then Seiji looked up at him with the biggest grin Sono had seen in a long time. Wasting no time with his answer, the younger man pulled the blond in closer, one hand in his hair, the other wrapped around his skinny waist, speaking clearly with a hint of pride..

Ok...that was a lie.

There was a lot of pride.

"I was talking with one of the publishers outside the Osaka regional tower one afternoon and he offered me some tea for all my hard work. I declined and decided to take pictures of the landscape of the city. For some new book ideas, you know how it is. And....just when I felt like I was done for the day, I was approached by the most beautiful creature I had ever layed eyes on. And you know what they say....'

Sono let out a cute little yelp as Seiji pulled him in for a passionate, yet short kiss, before pulling back and whispering right in his face, still wearing that damn prideful grin.

'...the rest is history."

If Sonos face would ever go back to its normal shade, that would be fantastic. The red flush all over his cheeks only darkened as he scoffed and playfully punched Seijis chest, unable to hide his smile and said,

"God...you're such a sap, Seiji, I swear."

His grin turned to a smirk as he patted Sonos bottom, watching as his lover scowled at him, but Seiji merely chuckled, leaning up to kiss a blushing cheek, muttering into his skin,

"Yeah, but you love me, so deal with it."

"Not like I have much choice."

The two men chuckled at that; the mood seemed to shift to a more positive note as Sono tried to re-adjust his position, his thighs now asleep from straddling his lover for so long. Seiji nodded in silent understanding, spreading his own legs so the blond could sit between them, back to chest, while the younger man wrapped his arms around Sonos waist, pressing soft kisses to his neck.

It was nice; this conversation felt like it needed to be a thing sooner or later and for a moment, Sono felt bad for not asking about this earlier in their relationship. Seiji knew almost everything about the blond....almost being the key word....but Sono realized he didn't know much about his lover and that, he felt, was horribly unacceptable.

Then again, he wasn't expecting the whole 'dead family' thing. That just seemed too cruel to be real. And the fact that Seiji was so...calm about it...it was strange to him. Deep in his brain, he couldn't even imagine how he'd react if he received news that his parents were dead...or even his brother...Sono winced at that, his hand going to his heart, feeling it throb in pain at the idea.

Losing Naoki was one thing...but losing his family...he wasn't sure he'd ever come back from that. Regardless of the years they never kept in contact, Sono felt like losing them would be closer to death than he'd ever felt. He felt bad for his lover; losing both sets of parents and seemingly ok with how his life turned out...then again...

Seiji did say he couldn't remember a lot of his biological parents, so it made sense he didn't feel much about it....and his foster parents he said he never established a paternal bond with...but still...how was he so ok with it all?

Sono shook his head; this was too much for him to think about all at once for right now. If Seiji was fine with how his life had gone up to this point, then there was no real need for Sono to worry about it....right?

"Sorry I asked about your parents...I...I didn't realize it cut so deep."

Seiji smiled a little to himself, tightening his hold around his lovers waist and sighed through his nose, burring his face in the crook of the blonds neck, continuing to press butterfly kisses to his skin. It seemed to do them both a lot of good to have this conversation, even though Seiji himself felt a little disinterested in talking about his past.

He didn't like to think about either set of parents that he lost, mostly because he felt confused by his neutral emotions regarding them. He loved his parents...both sets...and while he did feel a little hurt recalling the deaths they all went through...he knew he survived the first crash for a purpose.

The memory of him waking up in that hospital after a week of feeling like he was floating, watching himself from the ceiling...it was weird. He never told anyone about this, not even Yasuda or Ashi...or anyone...

Except now...and Sono deserved to know.

In a way, this was another breakthrough they needed to get by. This was Seijis way of getting Sono to understand why he was so serious about...the relationship he had with his own parents...Seiji couldn't have that second chance and honestly, he was fine with it. But Sonos family was still alive and 15 years was too long for them to be so...distant, so to speak.

Sighing heavily, Seiji nuzzled the mans throat and whispered,

"Sono, I told you, it's fine. I'm not upset or anything. But...now I hope you get why I'm so worried about you and the relationship you have with your family. I don't want you to become so estranged from them and then have to hear that something happened to one of them...especially when you have these sorts of unresolved feelings..."

God...it was like the man read his own thoughts from earlier...Sono flushed and nodded, mumbling,

"Yeah..yeah I know..."

Seiji didn't let him continue; he tightened his hold once more and spoke so clearly in his ear,

"I get it's hard. I understand how you all may have left things...but love, don't distance yourself from them forever. Your mother loves you, your brother I know for a fact worries about you...but I think your father misses you the most....and I think you know that."

Sono nodded again, not responding, so Seiji took this chance to continue.

"I'm not asking you to do it now, but...when this whole thing blows over...when they find Takeo and bring him to justice...just...try to get in touch with them. It'll make you feel like you've gotten more closure than just with Takeo....so to speak."

There was some movement for a few seconds, with Sono being twisted to sit sideways in Seijis lap, his legs draped over one of the younger mans. Never once did Seijis hand move from his lower back to keep him close, his other hand resting in such golden hair, lips against his head.

Gods above, Sono could never tire of being in this position...ever...being in Seijis arms like this always seemed to help his head stop its incessant rambling and thoughts. Not to mention his heart would pound against his ribs, his skin would demand to get closer to the man...as if it wasn't enough. Like it would never be enough.

One of Sonos trembling hands reached up to grip his lovers shirt, the fabric soft against his own skin and he felt he could get lost in it, sleep like a child against it like nothing else mattered.

He could feel himself reverting back to those times...having Seiji hold him like this...it reminded him of how Naoki used to hold him...how his father used to embrace him...

He missed it. And goddammit...he hated that he missed it so much.

Seiji felt his smile drop the second he felt his lovers body start trembling in his arms. His heart went out to him, tightening his embrace and layed his cheek against Sonos hair, feeling how one of the blonds hands came up to grip his shirt.

It was hard....everything about this situation was painful. But it was moments like this where Seiji was glad he took notes all those months ago, studied and read up on everything he could find regarding...shit...whatever the hell this was.

There were so many words for it and Seiji didn't take the time to dig into his head for the right one. Right now, the most important thing was to get Sono to understand that he wasn't alone in this. He never was. And even though Seiji was just one person, there were still people out there taking time to help him, even if he still couldn't believe it.

Seiji closed his eyes, recalling back to when he was first adopted into his foster family and feeling utterly numb and confused as to what had happened to him. His biological parents died...he fell into a coma and when he finally recovered, he almost felt like he wasn't....really him. And since then, he had been having dreams....really weird dreams. They came and went, eventually drifting off as Seiji graduated high school, but some dreams still happened...and the memories remained.

One dream he remembered so clearly...he was standing in front of someone who was crying...in pain and clearly in need of help...he tried to call out to them, but there was no answer. And for years, whenever he had that dream, he felt like he was getting closer to getting that person to answer him...until he turned 22 and that dream suddenly stopped. He never understood why...

Sighing heavily, he pressed another kiss into the blonds hair and whispered softly,

"Will you try? Somewhere down the line?"

Another heavy pause, something of a recurrence all night it seemed...but Sono let out a soft sigh, loosening his grip on Seijis shirt, mumbling just loud enough for him to hear,

"Seiji-kun...yeah...I can try....once this dies down...yeah....yeah...I think I can try."

The younger man smiled once again, wrapping both arms around his lovers body, which he noticed was no longer trembling. Good....this was good. They had come to some sort of mutual understanding about this.

This was clearly not how Seiji imagined this night to go, but it was worth it in the end. He nodded against the blonds hair, giving his silent acknowledgment and inwardly grinned when he felt Sono practically purr in his arms, his face nuzzled up in his neck, pressing little peppered kisses where he could find.

Seiji gulped a little; this was....not at all unpleasant, but comforting....and a little odd. Though he was still smiling, chuckling even as Sono found a ticklish spot on his neck, pushing him back a little and gave the blond a cheeky grin, which Sono returned softly in thanks.

After a moment of pause, the blond sighed heavily once more and moved to straighten his posture, rubbing his stomach with a flush and mumbled,

"I don't know about you, but I'm wide awake now.... And I'm kinda hungry. How about we get dressed and I make us a snack or something."

It took some maneuvering and such, but eventually, Sono got up from bed and stretched his legs a bit, feeling a little more energetic than usual and wanted to use it up in his kitchen...at least for a bit. But as he moved to his closet to put on a better shirt so as not to get his pajamas dirty, he was stopped when Seiji, once again, wrapped his arms around his waist.

Several kisses to his neck later and Sono was putty in his arms, leaning his head back to give the man more room. He could feel the smile against his skin, a chuckle vibrating his throat, warm hands encasing him so tight that Sono was completely ready to forgo making them food altogether.

But Seiji pulled back, much to his hidden dismay. He turned his head to look at the man, who still had a smile on his cheeks and his voice was radiated in cheerful enthusiasm, mentioning softly,

"Actually, I think I saw a new cafe that just opened down the street. 24 hours. Wanna check that out and see what they have?"

Sono didn't have much of a reason to decline...and he was really hungry...

And could really go for something sweet right about now anyway....

\--

The cafe, as it turned out, was not even that far of a 'down the street' walk from where the blond lived. In actuality, it only took them 5 minutes or so to make it down and were greeted instantly by a very bubbly server...too bubbly for how late at night it was.

Nevertheless, the men were seated and treated to some 'welcome first timer' coffees, skimming through the small menu and when he reached the dessert selections, Sono felt his sweet tooth start to kick in.

He ordered some espresso crepes with a side of fruit while Seiji stuck with his coffee and a few complimentary sweet rolls, smirking at how wide the blonds eyes got when the crepes finally made it to the table.

Beautifully golden brown and layered with what looked to be a vanilla bean swirl, a small portion of sweet smelling syrup and chocolate coffee beans decorated the top. Next to the plate was a small bowl of fruit, a mix of diced strawberries, pineapples and watermelons, topped with a light coating of sugar.

Yeah...Sono was about to have his sweet tooth satisfied alright...Seiji chucked to himself and sipped his coffee while his lover slowly started cutting into his crepes, exhaling through his nose as the taste hit him so quickly. The younger man couldn't help himself. It was far too easy.

"Enjoying those sweets, love?"

Sono opened an eye and glared a harsh stare into the mans gaze, which made Seiji nearly spit out his coffee in laughter before popping a sweet roll in his mouth. He couldn't help the smile that formed when he heard the blond chuckle himself in acknowledgment, popping a strawberry on his tongue in a faux seductive fashion.

Seiji flushed a little, sipping his coffee to avoid eye contact while Sono smiled to himself, going back into his crepes.

It was quiet, pleasantly quiet, save for the soft music playing through the cafe and the scattered chatter from the 2 other patrons aside from them. Neither men really had much to say, rather to just enjoy each others company, relax after a rough few weeks. Their conversation would range occasionally from the progress of Sonos recent manga (which was coming along not as well as he had said originally) to any updates Seiji had received from Yakura that were at the very least decent to hear.

Finally, as the bubbly server came by to take Sonos empty plate with a smile, leaving the blond with his fruit, Seiji looked at his phone at noticed it was closing in at about 1 am. He wasn't so much tired as he was ready to go lie back in bed with his boyfriend...who seemed to be horribly interested in picking at a piece of watermelon, a thoughtful look in his eye.

Seiji frowned....he knew that look almost too well for his own comfort.

Setting his cup down, he opened his mouth to call the blonds attention, but Sono beat him to it, looking up at him and said, almost nervous,

"Hey Seiji?"

The younger man tilted his head, telling Sono he was listening and that's when the blond flush a pretty pink color, averting his eyes and gulped loudly, asking,

"Can I ask...how long ago did you say your biological parents passed away?"

Yeah.

Yeah, Sono was nervous. Not just by the tone of his voice, but the way his eyes narrowed at the cafe floor, like it had said something offensive to him. Seiji blinked for a moment, unsure if he heard the question properly at first before smiling softly, taking a sip of his drink before muttering loud enough for Sono to hear,

"Heh, not exactly proper late night snack conversation, huh?"

Sono flushed darker, hands trembling on the table and sighed a little, biting his lip and mumbled,

"I know, I know, I'm sorry...I'm just wondering..."

On a better day, seeing Sono so flushed and listening to him fumble his words would've been downright cute, sexy even should the situation call for it. But Seiji knew better and his smile softened, reaching out to take his lovers hand and rub his knuckles. The gesture was so soft and so sudden that Sono looked up at him, blush fading back to pink when he saw the smile on his boyfriends face, not to mention the gentle way he was holding his hand.

"Sono, it's alright. I'm teasing. I told you, I'm over it....hmm...I was 7 at the time...if I had to guess...maybe 15 years now?"

"Ah...I see...do you remember exactly when?"

Seiji pondered that for a moment, removing his hand from the blonds so he could rest his cheek against his palm, tapping his finger against his cup. Sono could see the distant look in his eyes, like he was trying to really remember exactly what happened to him or at the very least when. Honestly, if it wasn't for Sonos horrible bout of curiosity, he never would've thought to ask. But something in his own head was just dying to hear a timestamp...why he wasn't really sure. Though, when Seiji mentioned 15 years...it made Sonos eyes widen just a touch, trying not to think about what happened to himself all those years ago.

Finally, after some silence between them, Seiji let out an exasperated sigh and leaned back in his chair, rubbing his head and mentioned,

"I think it was in April...like late April. It was some spring event my father took us to a lot. Like I said, I can't really remember. The doctors mentioned that a good part of my memory was wiped completely and even if I try to think hard about it, it doesn't really come together. The only thing I do remember is a news caster on the radio talking about something going on in the Tohoku district...like in north Japan, but I don't recall what.....Why do you ask?"

.....

...........

......................

....................................

That...

That couldn't be a coincidence...

There was no way....

In now way, shape or form could the day that Seiji's biological parents sadly died, protecting him from a fatal crash...when he was in a coma...fall on the same chronological spectrum of when Sono and Naoki were attacked in that alley....that was too unreal. It couldn't possibly be true.

The blonds heart was pounding rapidly in his chest, unsure of how to take and assess this information. Ok....let's think about this logically, he thought to himself, even though he was about to head down a memory trail he really didn't want to go back down.

But he had no choice.

Naoki technically....wasn't truly pronounced dead until April 25th. He recalled Huri Nazawa telling him that the nurses and doctors (...who Takeo payed off...he cruelly reminded himself) checked up on Naoki at around 11:50 at night during the grave yard check ins, noticing how he was asleep, heart monitor going steady. Somewhere in between that time and 4 am, when the morning nurses found him, he had passed away. So the offical date of his death was in fact April 25th...

Let's cross reference that with what Seiji mentioned to him tonight...

His biological parents were pronounced DOA sometime in late April, 15 years ago...ok, that made sense. He mentioned it was an afternoon sort of thing...a late afternoon sort of thing...alright, that made sense too. And during that time, Seiji was in a coma, recovering for a week before waking up and being told that he was being adopted into his foster family.

Then there was the matter of the 'out-of-body experience'...Seiji mentioned that it was like he was watching his body from above, only coming down when he finally felt his form latch back to his core.

But what exactly did that even mean...

Naoki died the same day (presumably, hopefully not) as Seiji's parents and the same day (fucking hell, he hoped not) he went into a coma....for reasons Sono couldn't figure out, something about the coincidence of the events seemed...off...really off.

It was almost too crazy to be considered real. How could it truly be that the day his childhood love was taken from him happened to be the same day a young Seiji (who would later in life become Sonos whole reason for believing in love again) lost his parents and went comatose...the events locking together were just so...bizarre...

Sono set his cup down slowly, eyes wide with the weirdest thoughts going through his head, all while Seiji went back to his coffee and watched him carefully. Though it hadn't been long, Seiji was starting to pick up on the blonds facial expressions when in hard concentration over something and clearly something about his story had him thinking. What about, he wasn't sure and he felt now was not the time to ask.

The background noise of the bustling cafe, which was surpisingly starting to get busy regardless of the later hour, was soothing and awkward all at the same time.

Finally, after a long moment of pause, Sono gulped and shook the thoughts clouding his head, convincing himself that he was overthinking it and that was just a horrible coinicidence that the two of them suffered so greatly....probably on the same day...at more than likely the same time...15 years ago...

A sigh left Sonos lips as he looked back up at Seiji, whose brow furrowed at him curiously. The blond could only give a soft smile in response, picking up his coffee with a slightly shaking hand, took a long sip after muttering aloud,

"Oh...no reason. Just curious."

  
  



	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promised chapter 6 and here she is....in all her emotional, cheesy glory XD
> 
> Have at it <3

_"So why, of all people in the world, did it have to be him? You had Ami...you had the fucking poster child...and you knew I loved him...you knew I was obsessed with him...fuck, you were the reason I even thought to confess my feelings for him, you fucking snake."_

_"Heh...oh, how the tables turned, huh? You may have loved him at one point, and maybe still obsessed, but I gave him something better than anything you could ever hope to give him..."_

_"Oh yeah? Enlighten me."_

_"I gave him a reason to love himself."_

* * *

  
  


_July 25 th_

  
  


' _Hey Seiji-kun. I'm sorry...I'm running a little behind today. I got stopped by my publisher on my way out to go over my next release date, so I should be over in about 15 minutes. I can bring my clothes over if you don't mind me using your shower, though I think I might not need to if I hurry. I just figured that could save some time. Hope that doesn't make us too terribly late. I love you. See you in a bit.'_

  
  


The largest grin came across Seiji's face after hearing the voicemail for what seemed like the third time, utterly melting over the way he heard Sono say he loved him...gods...he was so cheesy.

This was it. Today was the day he had been looking forward to for what seemed like ages. July had flown by so quickly that Seiji barely registered it happening at all. And all day today, he had the most adoring smile all over his features, everywhere he went, he couldn't stop smiling.

When he went to the supermarket to get groceries for the dinner he planned, he smiled at the cashier, who could only smile back as she rang up his items, although the smile came off as a little uncomfortable since Seiji hadn't stopped grinning since he came into the store.

Then, once he had his food put away in his fridge, he went down to the dry cleaners to pick up his suit, something he had purchased specifically for this night. It wasn't really required for him to dress this nice, but given how this would be the first time he would take Sono out as his boyfriend, he wanted to look sharp.

Thankfully, the sales rep at the store helped him more than he thought and even offered a discount on the suit (once he found out who Seiji was and spent the last 10 minutes gushing over his work). The only downside was that Seiji was paranoid about how the suit looked and immediately took to a dry cleaners to get it spotless...it only took a few days, considering how busy they were for the festival.

The final piece of the night, something that took him a lot of time and forceful motivation on his part just to even consider getting, was sitting in his suit jacket. Never in his entire life did he think this was going to happen and he had been fighting in his head as to when was the perfect time. He didn't know right off what he wanted to do and spent the majority of his late afternoon pacing in his kitchen as dinner cooked, not only waiting on his boyfriend to show up, but to settle the nerves in his chest.

Dinner would take a bit and the moment he got things settled on the stove, he went to take a quick shower, scrubbing a bit too harsh just for how nervous he was.

And why wouldn't he be? He was going to show up at the docks with his beautiful lover on his arm, in hopes that no one would recognize him as...well...what they 'knew' him as. But even as he washed his hair, watching the suds flow down the drain, he had this odd sense of pride in his heart the minute he pictured the two of them making their way onto the private boat, Sono locked on his arm and a smile on his face. Seiji smirked to himself, gripping his new soap and ran it over his tanned skin.

Who cares what everyone thought when they saw them? If they recognized Sono as for what they thought they knew, they would have to answer to Seiji himself. And he had proved once before that he wasn't going to allow people to undermine or insult his lover in front of him. The bruise on Yasudas shoulder was proof enough, as the man put it bluntly.

Still...that memory alone had caused Seiji to pause his motions every so often, really thinking back to that night and what had transpired.

Yes...Yasuda had said somethings that clearly shouldn't have been said.

Yes...Seiji reacted the way he figured he would, at least verbally.

But never in his entire life did he think he'd have that kind of anger in him to just...pin his best friend to the kitchen wall like that...let alone say what he actually said.

For gods sake, Seiji threatened to kill Yasuda if the man ever said another bad thing about Sono to his face again and holy shit, he meant that. Every word. The look in his eyes even told Yasuda that Seiji wasn't playing around. This was serious. They hadn't talked much about that night, not that they really needed to, but Seiji knew deep down he had to address it to himself, ask himself what in the holy hell happened to him.

And it wasn't so much that he was unbelievably furious with his friend that shocked him...it was more like...he was watching himself be that angry with his friend and that he felt he wasn't in total control. Like he was staring at himself in a mirror, watching his body do what it did and say what he said.

He remembered how Sono hugged him from behind and begged him to stop....and how another voice in his ear told him to calm down.

All in all, Seiji had too many questions and not enough answers, but today was not the day to bring them up at all. When he left his shower and dried quickly, dressing in a t shirt and sweats to finish dinner, all he could think of was the blond that was, hopefully, making his way over here.

And like the traitor that his brain was, he thought about an email Yakura had sent him a while back. Not just the incident in Tennoji at the start of the month...but rather what happened in downtown Osaka.

No one was killed, thankfully, but Yakura had mentioned that it was 100% certain now that Takeo was making his mark in the city and now everyone had caught on to what was happening. People had quickly noticed and tried hard to ignore it, as much as they could ignore the deaths of young men, faithful that the police were handling things. News reports were flooding quickly, however, and others were starting to get anxious.

Seiji recalled accidentally reading one in the break room of his publication building with Ashi and an intern...rather...overheard Ashi talking about it with said intern and Seiji just happened to be listening.

  
  


**Mass Murderer Mizuno Takeo spotted in Osaka**

**Over the course of the last few months, numerous reports of happenings regarding Tokyo based murderer Mizuno Takeo have been documented by Osaka police. News of the incidents began at the begining of April, when Tokyo officals were spotted making rounds around Osaka city limits. No reports as to Mizunos current whereabouts within the city and the body count has risen from 2 to 15 in the span of several weeks. The only known connection between the victims currently are all young men ranged from the ages of 17 to 35, yellow hair and pale skin. If you or someone you know has any information regarding Mizunos movements, please contact the Osaka police department/ The Tokyo Investigative unit.**

  
  


Seiji didn't really...hear the conversation that followed, only rereading the brief article over and over in his head. He prayed that Sono hadn't seen the article...god only knows what would happen if he had read it at his office or worse...alone in his home.

Thankfully, if Sono had seen it, he hadn't mentioned it at all. In fact, over the last few weeks, Sono had been...almost emotionless to the subject entirely.

Ok, maybe emotionless wasn't the right word. He just seemed very distant to the whole thing. Like he was trying his damnedest to not let this get to him as much as it could. And for that, Seiji had to commend him.

Every talk they had, every moment Seiji spent trying to get Sono to understand that he was never truly going to be alone in this...every panic attack and every break down Sono suffered through with Seiji holding him tight the entire time...it seemed like now, the blond was slowly starting to feel normal again, if normal was the right word to use.

Or perhaps...Sono was just ignoring this for another reason, repressing his feelings so Seiji wouldn't worry so much. That was another thought that crossed his mind almost frequently.

It wasn't a secret that Sono had a long history of repression for whatever the hell was hurting him. As a child, from what Seiji could remember from his lovers story, Sono suffered sexual repression and trauma because of his experience with his fathers friend. It made sense that when he was touched a certain way, he flipped out. And it made more sense that when he finally opened himself up to the one person he trusted with this information....the actual experience was intense.

As a teenager, after Naoki's death, Sono suffered emotional trauma and repressed even more of his feelings until graduating school....only to be hurt once more by Takeo.

There was more, Seiji was sure of that, but the blond never really talked about his time in university. He simply didn't care to and Seiji didn't dare to pry any further. Sono had clearly been through enough as it was.

That was why he was going to make tonight special for his love. A nice dinner, a beautiful night on the water to watch the fireworks...it was going to be magical. Seiji was damned determined to make it so.

As he started setting up his small table for dinner and opened a bottle of nice sake for them, a gentle knock at his front door made him grin brightly. Practically bouncing his way to the door, he unlocked it and swung it open with a smile, earning a smile from his visitor just as bright.

"Someone's happy to see me."

"And why wouldn't I be? You have no idea how much I've been looking forward to tonight. Hope you're hungry cause I made something special for you."

Sono smiled and laughed to himself, walking inside the warm apartment and removed his shoes, hanging his suit bag up on the coat wrack just as he felt strong arms wrap tight around his waist, pulling him in for a hug and a soft kiss to his cheek.

The blond chuckles formed into soft giggles as Seiji peppered kisses from his cheek, to his jaw, then his lips, a chaste kiss for the night the man planned before pulling back, kissing up to the blonds forehead and adored the huffs of giggles leaving his lovers lips.

Eventually, Sono pulled back just enough to whisper,

"Something smells really good...and I don't think it's just the dinner you've prepared. You smell nice...new soap, I gather?"

Seiji chuckled and lead his lover into the kitchen, mentioning how he wanted tonight to be special and felt like he needed something new in his shower regardless. Sono hadn't payed much attention to that as his brown eyes shifted to the table, taking notice of the pink bottle of sake in the center, along with the delicious aroma of whatever Seiji had prepared wafting in the air. It was a familiar smell, but he didn't take the time to think about it. With a smile, he turned to his boyfriend and pressed a kiss to his neck in thanks before taking a seat at the table, watching the man bustle to make them plates.

As he worked, Sono spoke up, resting his cheek in his palm,

"I hope I wasn't too late. My publisher had said something about my deadline coming up and we were going over release dates. It..haha...it took longer than I thought it would and I had to rush home and grab my suit."

Seiji grinned as he made up the last bit of their plates, turning to face his lover and set his food in front of him, leaning over to kiss his head before replying,

"Not late at all. We don't have to be at the docks for another hour and 45 minutes anyway. I just wanted you to be early so we could have a nice meal together. They'll have snacks and drinks on the boat, but I wasn't sure if you had time to eat something before we left."

Sono laughed and picked up his chopsticks, admiring the meal set before him. In all honesty, he hadn't eaten much in the last day or so, but mostly because he had been working hard on the last few pages of his recent manga and completely spaced on how hungry he was by the end of it.

That said, the meal he was looking at looked unbelievably delicious and Sono felt his stomach growling even before he broke apart his chopsticks.

Seiji went all out, it seemed.

Eggplant tempura with a spicy tentsuyu sauce, sided with white rice and roasted chicken gyoza. An obviously homemade sweet and spicy dip for the chicken sat next to his plate and before he could even ask, Seiji had already poured him a glass of sake. Immediately, Sono could tell it was pretty expensive, judging from the bottle, but didn't think to ask. He was simply in awe over this well thought out meal.

They bowed their heads, spoke in unison, "Itadakimasu" and dug in. The second the eggplant hit Sonos tongue, he melted. It had been years since he had such a tender eggplant tempura and the fact that Seiji nailed in just for this night....the blond felt spoiled rotten and he couldn't help but grin to himself as he swallowed.

He could tell the younger man was staring at him, expecting some sort of verbal reaction as to whether or not the food was good. To give him a clue, Sono made a show of dipping his chicken into the sauce, purposefully getting some on his fingers and as soon as he ate his food, he started licking the sauce off his index finger.

Seiji flushed, but chuckled loudly, digging into his own food while saying,

"I take it that you like it? It's not burnt or anything?"

The blond smirked and nodded, wiping his hand on a napkin and said,

"Far from it. It's really delicious, Seiji-kun...I'm...I'm honestly touched you did this much for me, given what's been going on and-"

"No."

The stern tone of Seiji's voice that quickly made Sono look up and flush from the look on his lovers face. It was...serious, but careful. His brown eyes were soft, but stern and it stopped any more thoughts that might've left Sonos mouth.

Thankfully, Seiji spoke first.

"Not tonight. This is supposed to be a romantic night for the both of us. I don't want you even thinking about what's been happening and if it ever does come up at all, let me handle it. You've been through enough as it is. You deserve a nice night without any stress or worries. I'm here to make it happen. Let me spoil you tonight. Ok?"

Seiji reached over and laced his fingers with that of the blonds on the table, staring deep into those wide brown eyes. Coupled with the flush on those pale cheeks and Seiji smiled to himself. God...Sono was just so damn cute, he almost couldn't handle it.

Running his thumb over soft knuckles, Seiji asked again,

"Will you let me spoil you tonight? Show you off to my fellow artists and gloat about how gorgeous my date is? Because I've been dying to do this for months now. We'll have fun, I know we will. And besides...'

Seiji lifted the blonds hand and brought it closer to him, leaning forward to kiss his knuckles and stare into his eyes, muttering into his skin,

'There's no reason why we have to stop having fun after the party's over. We can come back here and...have our own little celebration of the summer...don't you agree?"

Good god, Seiji hoped to hell he wasn't being too obvious with his plans. Sweet talk was something he was still trying hard to be skilled in and he had practiced a lot of his speeches in the mirror over the course of a week so as not to be nervous.

Given the look of utter awe on Sonos face from all that, he was pretty sure he was in the clear. He smiled and kissed the blonds knuckles again before setting his hand back down on the table so they continue eating, though now, it seemed like Sono was embarrassed and skittish, playing with his food with his chopsticks, a coy smile on his face and even trying to make eye contact. Seiji only chuckled at that, going back into his tempura while occasionally admiring the pink blush all over Sonos cheeks.

It was fun to embarrass him from time to time, at least when they were alone. But tonight would be different. Tonight would be much more meaningful and he hoped by the end of it, things would be easier.

Of sorts.

Sometime after finishing dinner and Seiji practically threw them all in the sink with the intent of doing them tomorrow, both men made their way to the bedroom to get changed into their suits, both with their backs to the other with the hope of being surprised. The blond had stalked away to the bathroom for a while and it left Seiji to put the finishing touches on his own clothes.

Seiji was just straightening his jacket when he felt a tap on his shoulder, mentioning in silence that the blond was dressed and ready to go. When Seiji turned, he halted and couldn't help but stare, eyes wide and awestruck.

Sono didn't mention what kind of clothes he'd be wearing to the event and clearly, Seiji didn't think to ask if he was wearing a suit or not. He clearly should've so he wouldn't be this surprised at how...sexy...the blond looked right now.

The blond looked stunning....more than stunning. A black suit jacket covering a dark purple blazer, black pants and his blond hair was suddenly more touched up than he remembered. It looked...curled...or wavy, he couldn't tell, but the way his bangs slanted over his face made him so beautiful to stare at. Not to mention this suit really brought out the paleness of his skin, almost like he was glowing.

Seiji gawked at him for a moment, not noticing how Sono was eyeing him up and down in almost the same way, beaming to himself at how handsome Seiji looked right now. He clearly took the advice from his neighbor to heart and wore something he felt Seiji would like. And given what the younger man was wearing, it was the perfect fit.

Whereas the blond was dressed in basically black and purple, Seiji had gone more traditional and wore a grey blazer under his suit jacket, the top two buttons of his shirt undone and giving Sono a glimpse of his toned chest. His heart raced at the idea of running his hands over his lovers skin...but that could wait. Seiji had been looking forward to this night for a while. His urges could chill for the time being.

It was hard though, given how dreamy Seiji looked. As the younger man fixed the cuff of his shirt, Sono looked up for a second and noticed that Seiji had slicked his hair back, a few strands falling over his face. He looked...ravishing...and at that moment, Sono felt pride swell in his own chest. The very idea that he was about to go out in public with this man and be introduced as his boyfriend...the blond choked up a little, gulping it down and stepped in front of the man, both hands pressing against his chest and lifted his head to just barely touch Seijis lips, muttering low,

"You look absolutely incredible, Seiji-kun....and I get you all to myself."

The blush on the younger mans cheeks betrayed his confidence just a little, but he smiled and closed the gap between them, kissing his lover with such passion that it almost convinced him to bail on this party and take the blond apart in his bed.

But not yet. Not until this night was near complete and perfect.

He broke them apart quickly and mumbled against his pink lips,

"We should get going. The car's supposed to be here in five. Can't keep my publisher waiting."

Sono smiled and nodded, following his lover to the front door to slip on their dress shoes, grab both sets of keys and the tickets before walking out the door. As soon as they made their way down the steps, a car pulled up and Seiji knew instantly it was the car his publisher had sent for them.

The ride to the docks was short, perhaps a 10 minutes one at that, though Seiji hadn't been paying much attention. His eyes glanced down to the blond currently nuzzled into his side, face in his neck and hand laced tight with his. If it hadn't been for the fact that they were coming up to where everyone was meeting, Seiji would've kissed his lover in the car without a single care in the world.

Once they pulled up and stepped out of the car, Sono immediately looped his arm through his lovers and clung tight, not willing to let go and Seiji couldn't help but kiss the top of his head, no longer caring that they were in public. No sooner had they walked up to the ramp to the boat did Seiji hear a noise from his right...a rather excited noise.

"Yamada-kun! You showed up! I honestly thought you didn't want to come by."

It was his publisher, coming up to greet him because of course he would. Seiji smiled and extended his free hand to shake, taking note of how elated his boss seemed tonight.

"Well, kind of hard to say no to free tickets and a free fireworks show on the water. You really pulled no punches, huh?"

"Haha, the coordinator and I go way back, so she owed me a huge favor. I'm just happy everyone was able to come. It's shaping up to be a great night on the water."

His published stopped suddenly and took notice of the blond on Seijis arm, looking at him with an amused smile and a light flush on his cheeks, trying to look elsewhere but in the other mans eyes.

"Is this your plus one, Yamada-kun?"

Seiji, with all the confidence he carried tonight, pulled Sono closer and pressed another kiss to the top of his golden hair, a proud smile on his face and said,

"Actually, sir, this is my date. I wanted to surprise him with a romantic night out and he..doesn't get out much these days. You know how busy and hectic life gets."

From there, it was quiet for a moment and the publisher tilted his head, unsure of what to say. And while Sono was trying hard not to make his anxiety too obvious, Seiji simply smiled and kept the blonds arms locked around his. This was the kind of thing that would more than likely set off another episode if it wasn't handled carefully. It was why Seiji told Sono at dinner to let him worry about these things if anything came up.

However, after a moment of silence, the publisher let out a bellowing laugh and said,

"Wow! Haha, now that is a surprise. So this must be the lucky person you talked about in your interview. I didn't know you were into guys, Yamada-kun, but damn you have really good taste. He's really cute. Look at those gorgeous brown eyes. And his hair too! You look like one of the main characters in one of our rival publications manga, but much more attractive. Good for you, Seiji-san. I was always curious as to who you were referring to in your answer, but I can see why you wanted to keep it a secret."

Well now...that was certainly the opposite of what Sono had expected, but it wasn't exactly unpleasant. He smiled softly as the man took his other hand and shook it rapidly, gushing about how cute he was and how Seiji was a lucky man to have someone so pretty with him tonight. The praise was nice, but Seiji was beginning to a little on the protective side of things when his publisher made it pretty clear he wasn't exactly sober.

Thankfully, the man pulled away and let them pass onto the boat, giving their tickets to the staff and walked up the ramp. Halfway up, Sono let out a loud sigh, one hand to his chest and chuckled to himself, muttering,

"Now I see why you're so mentally exhausted at the end of the day. Haha, is he always like that?"

A groan was Seijis response, but Sono smiled at him as the man rubbed his neck, muttering with a new smile of his own,

"Not usually. Heh, sorry about that. I knew he'd be excited about seeing you, but I didn't think he'd be all over you like that. He didn't freak you out, did he?"

Sono smiled back, practically beaming once they made it up on the boat, standing on his toes for a moment to kiss Seiji's cheek before saying,

"Not at all. If this gives me more of a reason to surprise you at your own job like I know you want to do with me, then by all means...let him be excited."

Any other day, Seiji would've blushed an insane amount of red upon hearing those words. But right now, he grinned and placed a chaste kiss to the blonds cheek, trailing to his lips and said,

"God, I love you."

Sono beamed once again to himself, enjoying his lovers lips on his face and tried to bring himself closer, whispering,

"I love you too, Seiji. And thank you for bringing me here. I had....sort of forgotten what it felt like to socialize these last few months."

"If it ever gets to be too much, tell me and we'll sneak away somewhere so you can breath. Ok?"

The way Seiji looped his arm around Sonos waist, bringing him in tight and speaking those words so clearly and so...seriously...it sent a shiver down the blonds spine and even sent a jolt of arousal to his groin. He gulped to himself, not willing to get so turned on by Seijis constant display of protection and instead removed himself from the mans hold, smiling softly and gripped Seiji's hand in his, kissing his skin and said,

"That sounds wonderful, but honestly? I don't think we need to. I feel great. Relaxed even. Being out here with you makes me feel like nothing can touch me...or hurt me...I think I'm finally starting to get what you mean by putting my utter trust in you. I'm...I'm sorry it hasn't seemed that way."

With little effort, Seiji once again brought his arm tight around the blonds body and kissed his head, ignoring people as they walked by to stand in a secluded area of the boat. Once they were (somewhat) alone, Seiji cupped Sonos face in both hands, looking into his eyes and said,

"I don't take offense to it, you know that. Besides, I'm glad you're starting to get it. I wasn't trying to push you or force you to trust me. But I still needed you to know that I'm here for you and I always will be. I love you. And I only want to do what's right for you."

A kiss to the tip of his nose and the gentle caress of his cheeks made Sonos eyes tear up quickly. Shaking his head with a snarky laugh, he pushed Seiji away and wiped his eyes, barking out with a laugh,

"Stop it. You're gonna make me cry and I don't feel like acting like a baby in front of your whole publication team."

"That's ok. I'll just tell them I overwhelmed you with my love."

"I'm about to punch you, Seiji, knock it off."

"You love me and you know it."

Well....Sono couldn't deny that at all, now could he?

With a smirk of his own, he pressed himself up against his lovers chest, hugging him tight and just basked in his warmth for a moment. He didn't lie that it felt nice to get out and ignore the buzzing in his brain, especially if it was with the man he loved so much.

Seiji, for his part, kissed the top of Sonos head, something he found he loved doing, especially in public (rare as that was), running his free hand up and down the blonds back.

He could tell people were staring, giving them odd looks, but Seiji didn't care. He promised the blond a nice night out and he wasn't going to let anyone stop him. He put a lot of thought into tonight and right now, above everything else, Sono deserved a night of peace.

With that thought it mind, he pressed two fingers to the blonds chin, tilting his head up and pressed a soft kiss to his lips, only stopped short when he heard a mock cough from his left, followed by the most sarcastic voice he'd heard in a while.

"Oh god, you two, get a room or something."

Seiji groaned low against Sonos lips, but the blond chuckled loudly, covering his mouth and pulled away from the man. Both heads turned to face the face and Seiji deadpanned for a second before grinning wildly, straightening his back and said,

"Haha, Yasuda. I didn't think you were gonna come tonight."

Yasuda, who was dressed in a white blazer and black trousers with a light black coat, simply scoffed and waved his hand, careful of the drink he held in the other. That same free hand high fived Seiji quickly before he smirked and said,

"I wasn't, but Ericka-chan forced me to come. She said I owed her a date or something. But on the plus, I'm glad I did. Boss really out did himself."

"Yeah, he did. Front row on the water to the best fireworks in Japan next to New Years. Who would be dumb enough to turn this down?"

"Not you, clearly. Especially since you've got people talking about the handsome eye candy you've got on your arm...by the way, you look nice tonight, Hanas-"

The conversation halted when Sono reached out and gripped Yasudas arm, suddenly and tightly, much to the alert of Seiji and the man in front of him. But it wasn't out of panic. Sono gave him a soft smile, one he'd give anyone on a good day and said, point blank,

"Sono...you can call me by my name. Plus, it's easier that way. And...thank you. You look nice too, Yasuda-kun."

A blissful pause passed through the air, save for the chatter and the motion of the boat now making it's way out into the river. Yasuda stared hard at the blond in front of him, who was still smiling at him...it was so hard to believe this was the same man he thought to be a whore...a woman and a whore...yet, he looked so happy, content even, being locked to Seijis arm the way that he was.

Their first meeting passed over Yasudas eyes for a moment and deep down, he felt bad for saying all that he said that night. It had been far too emotional and Sono was much to drunk to handle it as maturely as he wanted.

But the talk he and Seiji had afterwards, and almost every day since, had brought on a new form of understanding that, in all honesty, wished Yasuda had started with before. He could see that his best friend was so in love with this man and he could see just how in love Sono was with his said best friend. It wasn't his place to make judgment and even though he could see others shooting them weird looks, he knew neither man cared enough about it. And it still brought a sour taste to Yasudas tongue thinking back to how he first met someone he used to call his idol.

Nevertheless, Yasuda smiled back and winked at the blond, tipping his glass and said,

"Why thank you. At least your date is polite. Mine sauntered off somewhere the minute we showed up, but what can you do."

From there, they broke off into nice conversation about work, mainly about Sonos new book since Seiji had finished his own drafts for his next issue. They compared companies, seeing how the blond was the veteran of the three of them, and Yasuda only grumbled at the idea of how laid back Sonos work was compared to theirs.

Eventually, a server came by with a tray of champagne, Seiji taking two and handing one to his date, who thanked him with a kiss to his cheek. Yasuda smiled, taking a sip of his own drink and couldn't help but think about how adorable these two were together, how happy Seiji looked and just how...enamored they were with each other.

That said, he had to know. Seiji only told him so much with what was going on with this strange investigation and just how badly Sonos mental state had taken a hit from it. He'd be vauge so as not to prye too deep, but for the sake of his best friend, he'd have to push just a little.

But when he did ask, he directed the questions at Sono mostly, not really trusting Seiji to give him the full information he was looking for.

"So...how are things going, if I may ask. Have you heard anything? Have you been taking care of yourself, Sono? I know how worried Yamada's been lately."

The aura around them shifted from pleasant to uncomfortable in a matter of seconds. Sono felt Seiji lock up next to him and could FEEL the look in his eye.

It wasn't like he didn't expect it to come up; Yasuda clearly had an idea of what was going on in their lives, depending on what exactly Seiji told him. And while Sono still didn't know this man as well as he could've, given their first encounter a few months back, he felt the weirdest feeling like he could trust him enough with some...SOME answers.

He remembered Seiji saying earlier that he would be the one taking care of things if something ever came up. But something told the blond that having Seiji constantly speak for him, especially about this, wasn't the way he wanted to handle things. Things were bad, but they weren't that bad.

He wanted to tell Yasuda everything, but couldn't bring himself to open up that much with someone new like that, regardless if he was Seiji's best friend. Something in his gut told him to keep calm and keep certain things to himself...

So he answered the only way he knew how. He pressed a hand to Seijis chest, stopping him from saying whatever he was going to say and sighed, gulping his nerves and said,

"Things are...fine...we um...we haven't heard anything yet. But I don't pay much attention to it. Seiji is usually the one they contact with updates. I...I choose to stay out of it."

He wasn't sure why, but for a split second, something in Yasudas eyes made Seiji freeze. Then it hit him so suddenly and his arm tightened around the blonds, earning a confused stare. Seiji didn't look at him right away, but gave a soft smile in assurance.

The man knew exactly what Yasuda was thinking and it broke his heart to even guess the comparisons his best friend was making in his head. And he knew Sono would ask about it...he had to mentally prepare himself for another dose of harsh reality.

Sono wasn't the only one between them with dark secrets. Seiji knew this and Yasuda knew this too. But it was only due to the current state the blond was in (and refused to acknowledge) that Yasuda found himself getting more and more involved.

He huffed through his nose, adjusted his glasses and eventually smiled, downing the rest of his champagne before he said,

"I see...well, keep me posted if something happens. I'm gonna get another drink and mingle for a bit. You both have fun."

He lightly punched Seijis arm and gave Sono a small pat on his shoulder, walking past them before they could say anything....but just as he passed the blond, he turned and gripped his wrist, not tightly, but sternly, quickly gaining his attention.

What fell from Yasudas mouth surprised even himself, but he knew it had to be said, Seiji was his friend....Sono was his friends boyfriend....no matter what, he'd do what he could to help and he had to clear the air between them...what was left of that night, he had to erase.

"Sono-senpai....If something does happen and you can't get ahold of anyone, Seiji included, you know you can call me. I might not be as much help as your boyfriend but...I'd like to think you'd want a friend to reach out to...you know...just in case."

If the other man had been closer, he could definitely hear the pounding of Sonos heart deep in his chest. The sharp intake of breath Seiji gave was also enough to convey the amount of surprise both of them had. And Yasuda only smiled, letting the man go so he could walk away, not waiting for a response. He already knew the answer anyway.

Meanwhile, Seiji had to take a second and process what just happened, all while keeping an eye on his lover, who was trembling where he stood, gripping his wrist where Yasuda gripped earlier. It wasn't...a fit, he was having...more like...he wasn't sure how to comprehend the kind words that came from someone he didn't know...someone who only knew him from rumor.

It was sweet, what he said, if not a little...well...

"That was...unexpected."

The words just slipped out and Seiji sighed behind him, walking up to him and wrapped his arms around his waist, pulling him towards a secluded part of the boat and leaned against the rail, staring at the city as the boat made its way down the river. Seiji gritted his teeth, but only for a moment as he felt Sonos eyes on him, gentle yet curious.

There was no reason for him to lie; he just didn't want to have this conversation...not yet. But unfortunately, it seemed as though he didn't have an option.

Lifting his head to look up at the blond, who slowly inched towards him, he smiled and said,

"He cares about you, Sono-san. Maybe not to the extent you're used to, but he's trying to understand our relationship just a bit more. He asks about you almost everyday and is genuinely concerned about your mental health."

Sono looked perplexed, but softened his gaze as he asked,

"How does he know so much about this kind of stuff?"

Seiji smirked a little, looking back to the water and sighed, trying to find the best way to spit this out...but it seemed like the only way to do it these days, at least from what he figured....

"When we were in university, he told me once that he wanted to be a psychiatrist. How he took classes after school and really wanted to help people..."

"Oh....did...something happen to push him towards that?"

....was to just be absolutely blunt about the entire thing.

"He wouldn't want people to know about this, considering what a sarcastic ass he can be, but if he considers you a friend, I guess he wouldn't mind. He lost his older brother to suicide when he was just going into middle school."

Seiji heard the blond gasp a little, but didn't give him any time to respond. The younger man leaned forward more on the rail, eyes gleaming over the city lights on the water, trying hard to not stumble over words that he wasn't too sure he should be saying.

But if Yasuda offered his help to Sono whenever he needed him....maybe this was a good place to start.

"Much like you, Yasudas brother had his demons growing up, but didn't bother to tell anyone about it, not even his family. He was suffering from depression and just...couldn't see a way out of it. His family didn't even notice the changes happening to him....except Yasuda. He was so worried about his brother that he tried to ask him questions, keep him company during their off hours, but their parents kept pulling them apart. I guess they were going through a divorce and were taking all their anger out on their kids. And about a week into Yasuda's new year in middle school...they found his brothers body in the basement of their house, wrists slit with a razor."

Seiji didn't even need to look over to see Sono looking at his own wrists in horror, as if he was recalling how he used to cut himself back when he was younger. It hurt Seiji to think the blond had ever done something like that, but at the same time, knowing what he knew, it wouldn't be too surprising.

His heart started to crack talking about this; he recalled when Yasuda told him all this in university and how he swore to his brothers grave that he wouldn't let any more people he loved and cared about go through something like this alone. And it made sense why he was so invested with how Seiji and Sono were doing, especially now. He saw what the blond was like in a drunken stupor...he saw him break down in his kitchen and heard him say things that more than likely triggered a memory of when he listened to his own brother cry and not truly understanding why.

Seiji knew why Yasuda cared....he knew better than anyone why his friend was so snarky and sarcastic...it was his defense. And much like the night he unknowingly dropped the bomb on Seiji by informing him of Sonos slutty reputation back then....he knew the guilt was there and would more than likely stay for a while.

The man turned his head and just as he thought, caught Sono staring at his wrists, eyes blown wide with sadness and only when Seiji reached out to grip his hand, pulling him closer, did the blond blink away his shock. Seiji took this silence to finish what he was saying, although he really didn't want to continue talking about this.

"No one knows why he did it. The only thing he left was a note saying how lost he was and how no one seemed to care, not even his family. Except his brother. And that was what drove Yasuda to learning about mental health and how to help people suffering from these things. He never did tell me why he stopped and switched to manga, but I think, given his material, it's his own way of helping others. If he can't sit and talk to people about their problems, then maybe he can help them through his art. It's a different form of help some people don't consider. Art isn't just pretty things on a page, as you once said in an old interview....when we were studying in school, I think our last year, Yasuda wanted to quit and go back to studying psychology. But....he read an old interview of yours that really pushed him in the right direction. I may be paraphrasing, but I think you said something, like, Art isn't just pretty things on a page. It's an expression of how someone can feel, will feel and more than likely never feel. We create things to push our boundaries of what beauty is and what pain can truly feel like. And if we reach the right people with the right material...."

Seiji stopped when he heard Sono finally start talking...finishing the quote with a sad smile, no longer looking at his arms, but resting his palm against his forehead.

"...then that's that's the greatest form of help that we can even give to ourselves....god...I was 29 when I said that. Sounds like utter nonsense now that hear it said back at me...That seems like so long ago....that really helped him?"

The younger man smiled back, standing straight and wrapped one arm around the blonds waist, his other hand on his shoulder, pulling him closer and whispered,

"More than you realize. His work is purely for purpose of getting others the true help they need. Mental health is something he knows a lot about. His work shows that. And that's why he's been so worried about you....he doesn't want you going down that same path his brother did. He may not know what happened to you or what you're going through now, but he knows that I love you more than anything in this world. And that if anything happened to you...I don't think I'd be able to forgive myself."

God, the emotion from Seiji's words....it was enough to nearly bring tears to Sonos wide eyes. Without even thinking, the blond turn in the mans embrace and wrapped both arms around his body, gripping the back of his jacket and whimpered into his blazer, trying so hard not to cry,

"Seiji-kun...I love you. So much.."

And Seiji responded with a smile, arms wrapped tight around the blond and peppered kisses to his head, his temple, his ear and his cheek, whispering in his skin,

"I love you. To the ends of the earth."

Sono couldn't help the gasp that left him as Seiji kissed him, his heart thumping against his chest, tears no longer there but replaced with a glimmer in his eyes as they broke apart. The blond shuddered a little in Seiji's hold, but didn't want to break away, resting his cheek against his lovers shoulder, enjoying the comforting silence between them both.

It wasn't long before Seiji pulled back and pressed a soft peck on a pale forehead, smiling brightly and said,

"Enough of this sad talk. I said we weren't going to worry about this and here I am spouting off. Let's get another flute of champagne and watch the sky. I think the fireworks are gonna start soon."

The blond didn't even need to say a word; he smiled and looped his arm back around Seijis as they made their way to a server, taking two glasses and started to mingle with the other artists.

The evening was perfect....absolutely perfect. It made Sono question as to why he locked himself away for so long if he knew life could be this fun. Seijis fellow artists were sweet and wonderful people, some of them were even a few of Sonos favorite manga-ka. It was like he was a kid meeting his idols, only he was part of them...he just couldn't admit that yet.

So many of them asked Seiji questions, not about his work, but about the blond on his arm and asked if this was in infamous 'secret love interest' Seiji had refereed to in his interview. Seiji said nothing, only smiled, flushed, and took a sip of his drink.

It was actually hilarious to watch and if they only knew who this cute blond actually was, they'd all be shocked to hell. They gushed over how handsome he was and asked if he was an actor or a model. Sono could only blush himself and wave off the compliments, only stating that he was an artist as well.

One fellow manga-ka, Matsumoto Ericka (aka, Yasudas 'date') said that he looked exactly like a nude model she had seen in a magazine and even though she knew it wasn't him, had asked if he was interested in posing for a friend of hers, one of whom was looking for new models for his next all male catalog.

Sono didn't need to look behind him to feel the enraged and preditorial energy radiating from Seiji at such a thought. Honestly, he wasn't shocked, especially when Seiji practically stomped over to the pair and possesivly wrapped his arms around Sonos shoulders, giving Ericka a heated glare.

The woman only grinned and waved her drink around, casually saying,

"Oh relax, Yamada-kun. It's not like I'm asking him to shoot for a porn magazine. I'm just saying your boyfriend is really handsome and has a pretty face. And if I have to guess, a sexy body under that suit, given how you're just handling him. You better keep an eye on him or some other man would whisk him away."

It was meant as a jest, Sono knew that and laughed with her as she walked away, but when Seiji tightened his hold on him, the blond knew his lover was a little offended by the remark. All he could do was pat his arm, twist his head to give Seiji a small kiss to the head and whisper,

"No one's whisking me anywhere, Seiji-kun. Not unless it's you. Stop pouting and kiss me like you love me."

The kiss that followed was strong and borderline painful, but Sono didn't mind. In fact, riling Seiji up like this was starting to make him feel alive. If anything, by the time the night was over, he had a feeling all this pent up energy would be put to good use in bed later....and he had a pretty good idea of what Seiji was like in bed after a night of playful teasing.

After a while, everyone began gathering by the rails of the boat, which was now right in the center of the river, preparing to watch the fireworks display. The two men found a rather secluded part of the boat, right at the front, all eyes to the sky as the first set of fireworks went up. People gathered in the city to watch as well as all parties on the other boats, collective awes from every corner.

Sonos hands gripped the boat rails tightly, watching with an awestruck smile as the display carried on, the lights bursting through the night sky. Behind him, Seiji stood close, also looking at the sky...but mostly at the love of his life enjoying himself.

While he wasn't sure what kind of life Sono lived between university and when they met, he had a pretty solid idea that he had never taken the time to enjoy festivities like this before, at least, alone. He never mentioned having friends or people to talk to outside of work, so things like this would've been out of his comfort zone.

Or maybe he did indulge by himself and sadly had to return home alone...either way, Seiji was thrilled he took his lover out tonight. Sono needed this more than anything else right now. To get out and enjoy life with someone who loved him.

Seiji pondered for a moment if Naoki ever did things like this for the blond, but pushed those thoughts away when he knew it didn't matter. If he did, then great. If not, then Seiji would certainly make up for lost time. Anything to keep the smile on Sonos face, the way it was now.

His brown eyes lit up every moment a large firework exploded in the sky, almost captivated by the beauty of the occasional designs that burst from the rockets. When Sono looked back to give Seiji an excited smile before looking back at the sky, Seiji knew he made the right call. Everything about this moment was perfect. His lover was happy and that's exactly what he wanted.

Slowly, he crept up behind the blond and wrapped his arms around his shoulders, pressing kisses into his hair and cheeks, making Sono giggle to himself while still peering up at the display. One of Seijis hands wandered down to his waist, pulling him closer and kissing down to his ear, licking a hot stripe right on the sensitive point behind his ear.

Sono let out a soft gasp at that, followed by a moan Seiji showed no signs of stopping his...frisky movement. He could almost feel the mans hard erection against his back and he trembled, feeling so hot and entranced by everything going on around him. Between the beautiful fireworks and Seijis touches, Sono wanted nothing more than to just submit and let Seiji do whatever he wanted to him.

His brain began to short circuit, suddenly wanting to boat to row back to the docks so Seiji could take them home, press him down and shower him with all the love he could ever want from someone. He wanted nothing more than to have his lovers body on him, just like it was now, holding him close, kisses against his ear and neck, hot breath against his damp skin. He wanted Seiji to tell him all the things he would do to him, all the things he wanted from him....he wanted Seiji to tell him he loved him. He heard it every day, but for some reason, right here, right now...he needed to hear.

Cheesy as it seemed, what with the fireworks going off around them and the final display beginning shortly, Sono turned his head to look at his lovers face, into his eyes and gave him a pleading look, a beautiful blush on his pale cheeks.

Seiji was convinced he had fallen in love once again just looking into those eyes; he knew what Sono was asking for and felt he needed to say it too. But not until he said something else first. Something that would capture this moment forever in his head and in his heart.

The man pressed a kiss to the blonds lips, softly, drinking in the moan Sono let out, almost desperate and hungry. When he pulled back, truly taking in the look of love and lust and want in his lovers eyes, Seiji smiled, pulling him back and whispered, hot in his ear, only loud enough for him to hear,

"Sono-san....will you marry me?"

  
  



	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooooooooook.....so I lied XD
> 
> I had just gone over this chapter like a dozen times and wondered if it was too long, if it was too detailed, if the *ahem* scene was too drawn out....little things like that and you know what?
> 
> Screw it! I worked hard on this chapter and by GAWD, am I so damn proud of the depravity I created *sinister laughter in the distance*
> 
> Out of the goodness of my heart, here is my New Years gift to you all and I can honestly say it's a long one. It's also...kinda OOC, but as the good Lord of fanfiction once declared, 
> 
> "It's my world and ya'll can deal with it"....I don't know who actually said that or if this is me in a caffeinated fit just wanting to write 15 pages worth of love and smut. Whatever kicks my own anxieties about my life out the window and life will just slowly fall into place....I think. 
> 
> Enjoy!

_"You're lucky I'm being merciful on you...I could just beat your head in with a crowbar...like you did to that guy I payed."_

_"I should've guessed...you're sick...how could you even think of hurting someone who claim to love so much?"_

_"You wouldn't understand....you claim to love him too, but you would never understand. He's mine, Naoki...he's always been mine."_

_"Love and obsession are two different things...you've gone crazy..."_

* * *

  
  


  
  


"Sono-san...will you marry me?"

.....

Wait...what?

What?

............

What did he just say?

The sound of the fireworks seemed to faded into silence, the chatter of the people around them suddenly became quiet and mute...the only sound Sono could hear at this moment was the sound of his heart pounding right in his ears.

His eyes widened, completely caught off guard by not only the words that came from Seijis lips, but by the way the man was looking at him, eyes soft and gentle like when they first met, only now with a huge glow of determination and pride.

He felt Seijis grip on his hip soften so he could properly look at him, turning to face him and back up against the boat rail, hands gripping the metal until his knuckles turned white. The look on Seijis face remained soft, but shifted into worry at the strange reaction he was getting.

Granted, he knew this would come off as more shocking than romantic, but Seiji had mentally planned for that. The amount of shit that was going on in Sonos head was more than enough to cause the blond more stress than he needed. For once, at least for right now, Seiji wanted something else to go through his head.

An acceptance, perhaps, but he knew he needed to probably let Sono process this first.

Finally, after what felt like a near eternity, Sono finally opened his mouth, gaping for a second before he was able to manage a soft,

"What?"

Seiji chuckled and stepped closer to him, little by little so as not to scare him, but kept his voice low enough so only the blond could hear.

"I think you heard me the first time but, I don't mind asking again....will you marry me?"

Now standing right in front of the blond, who was still holding the rail in a death grip, Seiji tried to gently pry those shaking hands off the rail. When Sono flinched, he backed away with a soft smile.

Not many things took Sono by surprise (at least, not until these last few months), but this was on a completely different level. Whereas he felt warm, hot even, under Seijis touches and even debated on pushing him into a near by empty room on the boat, now he felt cold....confused...shocked...and he wasn't even sure why.

This was supposed to be a happy thing, right? Seiji was...was...proposing to him...he should be over the fucking moon right now...

So why was he acting like he had just been shot in the...oh.

Oh no.....

Oh please no.....

Not now...

  
  


_"I was us to be together. I want us to trust each other and tell each other everything we want from the other. If you're hurt, tell me and I swear I'll share that pain with you. If you're scared or afraid, of anything at all, tell me and I'll sweat to protect you from anything and anyone and I'll shield you from the fear. And if you feel like everything's falling apart...if the world is just shattering around you...tell me and I'll do everything in my power to fix it...I'd do all this because I know you'd do the same for me."_

  
  


His head hurt. Every snippet of that night passed over his vision and he couldn't stop a pained whimper from leaving his lips. Releasing the rail with one hand, he pressed it against his chest, feeling his heart throb against his ribs. He felt his lungs struggling to get air...he was starting to tremble...

Please...make it stop...make it go away...

  
  


_"Sono....when the time comes...will you let me be your other half?"_

  
  


Seiji could only watch as the blond in front him was struggling, again, something he mentally prepared himself for. He watched the look of horror come across his face, the way he gripped his chest with a shaking hand, the way his eyes suddenly grew wet with unshed tears. All this Seiji knew would happen and he was elated to not feel as panicked as he thought he would.

For the longest time, he thought of the best way to approach this and every other possible outcome would more than likely end in Sono having an absolute panic attack. Had things been different, had Yakura not shown up with the information he had, then maybe this would have gone a different route. Sono would probably attack him with the biggest hug he'd ever receive, a kiss to the lips and a sudden desire to go home...so Seiji could propose again in private.

But of course, Seiji had to prepare for every possible outcome and this, oddly enough, was one of them. He knew this would bring back a sudden memory of Naoki...lots of things did these days. But he was ready to face it and ready to help Sono come down from his attack when he needed to.

Seiji had made this decision early on in their relationship....from the moment he held the blond at the park that night, told him things would be ok....kissed him and made love to him...the moment he caught Sono working late into the night afterwards, brushing it off like it was nothing and hesitantly allowed Seiji to make them coffee so they could work together...

...From the moment Sono let down his guard with him and cried in his arms, the pain of his past coming to light and knowing that the blond trusted him with this knowledge...Seiji knew then and there, from every moment since...

He wanted to marry this man. He was so in love with him that nothing in the world or in this universe would convince him otherwise. No force alive or dead would break Seiji away from Hanasaki Sono and he challenged anyone or anything to try.

That included Naoki...and that especially included Takeo...

He told no one of his plans; it was one of the reasons he busted his ass with Yasuda and Ashi for as long as they did to complete this manga, this book, just so the time could be freed up. He adored his fans and he knew they'd be pleased and entertained by this for a while, so his hiatus shouldn't be too upsetting. And when that royalty check came in, Seiji wasted no time. He found one the of best jewelry shops in Osaka and asked for something simple, yet something with a specific gem. The sales rep showed him dozens of options and Seiji found the perfect one after going through probably a hundred.

Now that he had it, he just had to wait for the perfect moment. At first, his ideal thought was to play it simple and do it in the comfort of one of their homes, for privacy sake.

Then his publisher announced that he had free passes for this event and everyone was encouraged to bring a plus one or a date.

Seiji made his plans around that.

And now that they were here, the man wasn't going to waste another moment. He could see Sono trying hard to not have an anxiety attack right here on the boat in front of his entire team, struggling to keep a grip on reality.

With a soft sigh and a smile still plastered to his face, Seiji finally closed the gap between them, ever so gently setting his hand on top of the blonds white knuckles, rubbing them with his thumb. With his other hand, he tangled it in Sonos hair, cradling his head and pulling him close, cooing him gently and kissed his head to calm him down.

"Breath with me, Sono, it's ok. You're ok."

It...it actually seemed to work. Almost immediately, he could feel the blonds trembling die down, the heavy breathing in his ear starting to waver and even out, though still a little shaken. Seiji smiled wide, pressing another kiss to the blonds temple, whispering in his ear,

"That's it, love. Come back to me, you're alright...*kiss* I'm sorry, I didn't mean to send you into a panic. Though I honestly can understand why..."

It almost startled him when he felt the blonds hand under his start to release the rail, flexing his fingers to get the blood back in them and when he pulled back, he could see the flush on the blonds cheeks. It would've been downright adorable had Sono not just come down from another episode. But nonetheless, Seiji smiled and kissed his forehead, not bothered by the shaken form of his lover and instead, focused on making sure he was coherent and understood where he was.

Before he could even ask, however, Sono looked up at him with a pitiful stare, though it was mixed with skepticism...Seiji already knew why.

"You...you're not...serious...are you?"

Seiji couldn't help himself; he chuckled loudly to himself and Sonos blush deepened as he averted his gaze with a scowl, feeling like a child. He didn't remain that annoyed for long as Seiji pulled him back, both hands on his cheeks and looked hard into his eyes. His scowl softened immensely, but he didn't say a word.

After a moment, both of Seijis hands trailed lower to cradle the blonds thin neck, his left hand moving ever lower to caress the blonds back, pulling him even closer, much closer than what would be considered appropriate. Seiji rested his forehead against Sonos and let out a soft exhale, wanting nothing more than to kiss those pink lips, lay him on the deck and just have his body...but he held himself back, knowing he had to be patient.

Instead, he settled for pressing a soft, almost held back kiss, to Sonos lips, feeling them shiver against his, before pulling back and said, as clear as the water below them,

"I've never been more serious about anything in my entire life....and I have never been more serious about someone as much as I am about you. I love you. For so long, I was wondering what was missing from my life. And yeah...I'm not that old, obviously, but I knew for a long time that there was something I wanted so badly. At first, I thought it was my manga career...but then, I realized quickly that it was you. You approaching me that day was by far the best day of my life. And yeah...things happened and secrets came out, but we got through it. And I wasn't just going to up and leave you for something you were clearly hurt from. I wouldn't even entertain the thought of that."

Another tight kiss and Seiji couldn't help the moan that he bit back when Sono tried to keep the kiss going longer by gripping his neck. The younger man shuddered and didn't even try to stop himself as he wrapped both arms around the blond, feeling his emotions going crazy and was unsure whether or not he wanted to cry or...no he wanted to cry. That was true.

He could already tell Sono was on the same edge, pulling back to look into his brown eyes, wide with awe and love and so much more emotion that Seiji couldn't put names to. With shaking hands, he gently cupped the blonds face back into his palms, lifting his head, knocking their foreheads back together, words pouring from his lips and his voice cracking with just how badly he needed Sono to hear this.

"I love you so much. And I've thought about this for so long. I know that legally, we can't exactly be married, but a partnership certification works just as well for me. I just want you. Forever. Until the very end. I couldn't bare the thought of losing you to someone else and there's no one on this earth that I would want more than you. You've given me a reason to be strong and to be confidant in myself. I want to repay that in kind and give you the love and the life you deserve. I know things right now are rocky...I know your head tells you things that may or may not be true. But this is real. My love for you is real and it's never going to stop. I want a future with you. I want nothing more than to be the first person you see when you wake up and the last you see before you go to sleep. I want to be the man who keeps you steady and strong, pick you up when you're down and hold you when you feel the world closing in....so...from the bottom of my heart...will you marry me, Sono? Will you let me one day be yours and only yours...forever?"

If anyone were watching them, if anyone was seeing them like this, then thank whatever God that existed that they were minding their own business and leaving them be. Because the world suddenly became much more...vibrant in this moment.

Tears pooled in Sonos eyes, dripping down in silent streaks over Seijis hands, unsure of how to respond to such a heartfelt confession...to such a passionate proposal.

Seijis words rang loudly in his ears, pierced into his heart and it because of the damned negative memories in his brain that prevented him from throwing himself at the man, tears and hugs and kisses and all.

He thought back to Naokis proposal and how crushed Sono felt at first when he thought that Naoki was only settling for him....only to hear his love was genuine and how Naoki wanted nothing more than be Sonos everything...because in Naokis eyes, Sono was HIS everything and would shout it from the rooftops if he could.

He thought back to that night of the most intense sex Sono felt in his teen years, the way Naoki and he could communicate with just looking at each other and not saying a word. How the older teen was so attentive to his needs. He thought that he and Sono would be forever and would gladly move the planets and the sun for him...

Then he was gone and Sono was left alone with his soul crushing agony. Takeo took him away and for so many years, the blond had allowed himself to be hurt to rid himself of the numbing sadness he put himself through every day. He wanted love...he wanted someone to love him and he wanted someone to show him that he wasn't broken....that he was more than just a body to destroy.

Seiji...he was that someone...he IS that someone...Sono knew that to the very pits of his being. He loved this man so much and would do anything for him...be anything for him. The first person outside his family who knew his painful past and still accepted him...still wanted to love him and be with him...but he was scared.

The threat of Takeo was still out there. Though they hadn't heard much since Yakura and Oishi came by with the news, Sono could still feel Takeos burning gaze on him from time to time. It was like the man had already found him and was just toying with him. And while it was true, Takeo hadn't physically found the blond...he had somehow made his way back into his mind. His emotional and mental manipulation was starting to take over again after 15 years....Sono could feel it.

Most nights, he woke up screaming in an empty home because he dreamt that Takeo had found him and dug his blade into his chest. Many times, he sat in his shower, scrubbing away touches that had long since faded, rubbing his pale skin red until he angrily threw his loofah at a wall and sobbed alone, letting the shower water wash his tears away.

Without even needing to lay a single hand on Sonos body, Takeo had already made his way back into the blonds soul. And if that wasn't a horrible thought itself...if Takeo were to discover Sono had a lover...a boyfriend...a fiancee...

Oh gods...he'd kill him...Takeo would find and kill Seiji without a second thought. The rage in those blue eyes would be almost hellish...and once the younger man was dead, Takeo would turn his sights on the blond.

Except Sono would be dead too....losing Seiji in such a way would break the man so much that his heart would stop and he'd die with tears in his eyes and a ripping pain in his chest...

Sono couldn't bare the thought. He wouldn't stand for it.

Takeo had already taken too much from him...he wasn't going to take Seiji away from him too. He'd find a way to protect him. He'd keep Seiji safe from those demonic blue eyes and take whatever damage Takeo could do to him...just to be certain Seiji wasn't harmed.

But to do that...to protect Seiji from this madman...this proposal...he couldn't...he shouldn't...he wouldn't....

"Seiji-kun...."

He had to be honest with him. He had to tell Seiji he couldn't accept this yet. Not until Takeo was officially gone and as far away from the pair as possible. He had to stand his ground...he looked up into his lovers deep brown eyes, taken back at the amount of love in them, feeling his hands tremble against his face and....he cracked.

"You're not giving me a reason to say no...are you?"

The sound of the fireworks suddenly became booming, indicating the finale display was wrapping up. The night sky was bright in a multitude of colors, each one brighter than the last, each color illuminating the blonds eyes.

Seiji regarded him with a stare that could only be described as struck stupid, eyes wide and a beautiful smile all over his face. Before Sono could even think to react, the hands on his cheeks tightened, making him gasp...only to be silenced by the mans eager mouth on his, one hand sliding from his face to his lower back, trapping the blonds body between him and the boats rail.

Sono felt breathless; he willingly opened his mouth for his lover, feeling his tongue battle with his own, shaking arms coming up to wrap around Seijis shoulders, suddenly unable to form a coherent thought. He completely forgot why he was so hesitant to accept this proposal. He no longer cared.

The way Seiji was holding him, kissing him, in front of all these people no less...Sono felt powerful. Powerful and loved...he felt free...he felt happy...

Seiji pressed his body closer as their kiss deepened, licking the roof of Sonos mouth and drinking his moans, suddenly getting handy as he felt the blonds hips start jerking forward against his own.

Forgetting where they were, not caring in the slightest, Seiji spread his lovers legs with his thigh, pressing harder against him and smirked in his head when he felt Sonos fingers dig into his jacket, another soft moan against his lips.

He was then completely taken by surprise when he felt one of Sonos soft hands trail down and cup his hard cock through his pants, making him gasp in the blonds mouth, breath heavy against his lips as that hand began to rub up and down, breaking apart from their kiss to moan hot against his lovers mouth.

Sono, in return, continued his motions with his hand, pulling Seijis head closer and moaned in his ear, licking his earlobe and whispered,

"Take me home..."

And as if the universe had heard such a sexy plea, the boat had made its way back to the docks, both men slightly shocked that they not only missed the last bit of the fireworks, but that they had just started groping each other in freaking public...

Then the reality dawned on them quickly as they looked around, seeing that people were ignoring them...some had harsh flushes on their faces. Both Sono and Seiji turned a beet red, the former hiding his face in Seijis jacket while the other tried to adjust himself in his trousers, thankful he wore black pants and that it was plenty dark outside.

The two men didn't say a word as the boat re-docked, people piling off and mingling just a bit longer with their coworkers, though many were obviously tired and eager to get home. Seiji silently guided his lover off the ramp and was ready to hail a taxi, taking notice as to how tightly Sono was locked onto his arm. They still flushed wildly, absolutely mortified that people saw them in the throes of emotion the way they were.

Seijis proposal still rang in Sonos ears, only thing time, his body was certainly reacting to it, embarrassment aside. He was hot, his blood was pumping and he was sporting such a painful hard on that was thankfully well hid by his tight pants. Even as the younger man got them a cab and piled in, Sono couldn't sit still. He was antsy and in need of his lovers touch...his boyfriends touch...

His...his fiancee's touch...

With a sly grin, the blond slid up close next to the man and went right back to the teasing he started on the boat...by slipping his hand between Seijis legs and lightly stroking his cock through his pants, pressing closer to kiss his neck.

It caught Seiji off guard for a second, biting his lip to hold back a moan so as not to freak out the driver, but one look at the blonds gorgeous face stopped any and all thoughts quickly. Usually composed brown eyes were dark with lust, pale skin dusted in pink and red...Seiji reached up to touch Sonos cheek and groaned low in his throat when he felt how hot he was.

A smirk came across his features as he gripped under the blonds chin, pulling him in closer and whispered right in his ear,

"You're just asking to be punished for all this teasing....is that what you want?"

Sono couldn't stop his words even if he tried, not even as he smirked back, licking a stripe from Seijis collarbone to his chin, muttering into his skin,

"Punish me..."

Goddamn, this cab driver could not have gotten to his apartment any quicker.

The moment Seiji saw his apartment complex come into view, he quickly pulled out his wallet and tossed the driver three 100Ұ bills, far more than what the cab fair would've been, not even bothering to listen to the drivers reluctance as the man pulled the blond from the cab, gave the driver a quick thank you and practically dragged the other man to the stair well. The driver, for his part, flushed bright for a moment before he started chuckling and drove off, catching sight of the two men kissing passionately in his mirrors. Young love is certainly beautiful, he thought to himself.

Both men barely registered the sound of the car driving off; Seiji didn't even think to care. The moment he pulled the blond to the stairs, he scooped him up and gripped his thighs, feeling Sonos legs wrap tight around his hips as the man miraculously got them up to his floor and pressed the blond against his front door, fighting with the urge to rip off Sonos clothes and fuck him in the open air. To distract his hands from doing that, he dug in his pockets to find his keys.

As he fought with his pocket with one hand, Sono was clearly getting impatient. He squeezed his lovers hips with his legs, rocking his hips against the other mans and moaned a little louder than he wanted to when he felt his cock throb in his pants. So much of his skin needed to be touched...he craved it. He absolutely needed Seijis hands on his skin soon, otherwise, he'd go mental. He wasn't sure where this touch starved attitude came from, but he didn't think to care about it. When he saw the silver of Seijis apartment key in his hand, the blond made his wants known with a bite of his bottom lip, another jerk of his hips and a whine....a fucking whine.

There were so many things Seiji wanted to lock in his head for material on the days he spent alone...the mere sight of Sono biting his lip, face flushed and the obvious tent in his pants while he held up up with one hand....oh yeah. This was going to be a long night, he quickly decided.

Finally, he was able to unlock the front door and opened it, feeling Sono break away with a smirk, dropping to his feet and grip his collar, nearly dragging him inside the apartment and slammed the door, removing Seijis jacket quickly, tossing it to the floor, knocking over one of their pen cases on the mans desk before doing the same with his own jacket. The sound of pens clattering on the floor reached Seiji's ears; though he was unsure why, it spurred him on more to press the blond against the door again, his tanned hands reaching into his dark shirt, feeling such creamy skin, trailing up to his chest and was not surprised to find pert nipples pressing against the fabric. Just his fingertips brushing against them made Sono shiver in his embrace, his hands digging into his hair and the other gripping his shoulder. Seiji chuckled again, gently teasing the blonds left nipple with his fingers, pressing kisses down his neck, licking under his ear and gently nipping at the skin, enjoying every gasp and moan that left his lovers lips.

Eventually, Seiji found that the collar of the shirt Sono was wearing was getting in the way of his teasing butterfly kisses and he growled to himself. Taking the button edges in both hands, he pulled at the shirt so hard, it ripped, snapping every button in different directions. The force of it made his mouth water as he quickly pulled the purple shirt off the blonds body and attacked the mans chest with his lips, nearly falling to his knees while teasing the blonds perky buds with his tongue.

The feel of Seiji ripping on of his new favorite dress shirt was enough to nearly make Sono see red, but in all reality, he was so turned on by Seiji's dominant and rough behaviour that he ignored all the buttons that fell to the wooden floor and whimpered as his love removed his shirt, lips teasing his nipple, making him throw his head back and let out a gasping moan, hands running through wild brown locks. The right nub was being played with by his loves thumb, the feeling almost electric. A small red blush graced the blonds pale cheeks and when Seiji looked up at him, he was greeted with his beautiful loves flushed face and lidded brown eyes. Releasing his nipple and moving up to face him, the younger man cupped the blonds cheeks in his hands and gave him a gentle kiss on the nose before whispering,

"As much as I'd love to fuck you up against the wall, I think a shower sounds nice.....don't you think so, Sono?"

God, his voice was so deep and velvet like that the blond shuddered before nodding, wrapping his arms around the mans neck, pulling himself closer and just relished in the fact that Seiji was so warm. With the way things had gone the last few days, he himself felt terribly chilled. But his fiancee's presence was welcomed, even now, after tonight.

After Sono made no motion in the last few minutes, Seiji smiled and kissed his forehead before reaching down with speed the blonds hadn't seen before, scooping him back up in his arms and nearly bolting to the bathroom, taking notice that the blond had started kissing his neck, licking up the vein and under his ear, causing him to moan lightly. But he also let out a loose chuckle; tonight he'd make his lover shake, shiver, scream and tremble with the amount of love he'd give him. He'd make sure that he felt safer than he had ever felt in his life with him. He'd make Sono forget all about Takeo.....even if it was temporary.

Once the men where inside the bright bathroom, Seiji gently set Sono down to his feet, kissing his face, rubbing his hair, tickling the back of his spine. And while he gave his lovers face such attention, he noticed that Sono was unbuttoning his shirt and pushing it open, feeling his warm, tanned skin with his shaking hands, internally happy that he felt Seiji stretch his arms back so the blond could remove his shirt, tossing it to the floor. Once the fabric hit the tile, his hands moved to the mans belt, unbuckling it and unbuttoned his pants, his hands brushing against a bulge and smiled when Seiji shuddered. Almost as soon as he could get the younger mans pants undone, he felt his hands being removed and Seiji's hands began mirroring his own, hastily undoing his tight pants and leaned down to kiss his shoulder while his hand ventured further to cup his aching arousal through his boxers. The sudden touch was enough to make the blonds legs shake, his eyes shutting and his hands curled into fists.

It took some time, but as soon as the last pair of boxers were thrown across the tile floor, Seiji leaned back to turn on the shower and set it to a warm temperature, pulling the blond in with him and pressed him up against the wet wall, wasting no time in molesting his mouth with his tongue.

One thing that Sono realized about himself was that his favorite place to kiss was, in fact, in the shower. And while he never actually voiced this to anyone, it just made him feel more secure. Granted the only two people he had ever engaged such activity with was Naoki and Seiji and that thought alone was enough to make him realize he could only do this with someone he loved and trusted. The absolute vulnerability of not only being naked, but wet....he shuddered again, but only because he felt Seiji's cock press against his.

Sono was distracted; Seiji could tell almost instantly by the way his eyes closed and his head remained straight...he was thinking about something. Curious, he raised one of his hands to caress his head, kissed his closed eyes and asked,

"Is everything ok? This isn't too much for you, is it?"

The blonds eyes opened almost instantly and he looked perplexed. Especially because Seiji bore a look of great concern. The man smiled softly at him and pressed both hands to the younger mans chest, shaking his head and said,

"It's nothing important...just...having a bit of nostalgia....I'm fine though...now, I think you were going to 'punish' me for teasing you in the cab."

The concern on Seiji's face shifted quickly to a look of devious intent as he gripped both of his lovers wrists and pinned them up on the wall, brown eyes locking with brown eyes as Seiji leaned into his lovers form, whispering in his ear,

"You'll wish you hadn't reminded me of that. I'd like to think I thought this through."

"Thought this through? You can't be serious...you planned this?"

Ohhh the look on Seiji's face told Sono that he was going to be in for a long night and for reasons he knew and loved...he was excited. He didn't need an answer after seeing that smile. Instead, he nodded and leaned his head back a bit, showing off his neck and let out a loud moan when Seiji took the offer, suckling under his ear and one of his hands caressed his hip, gently moving down to cup one side of his ass, kneading it in his palm. The result was a beautiful moan and a dragged on,

"Ohhhh Seiji...more..."

The younger man grinned and pressed a softer kiss on his lovers neck, his hand trailing from his backside to his thigh, tickling it softly with his fingertips, going back and forth, all while leaving love bites all around his shoulder and his neck. The beautiful moans and gasps that left Sono's lips were absolutely delicious sounding, growing more desperate as he felt Seiji leave a teasing trail on his left thigh, his skin trembling wildly. He noticed how close those fingers were getting to his aching want, only to move further away back to his left cheek, inching ever so close to his already pulsing entrance. He felt like he was sweating from the teasing, though he wasn't sure due to the hot running water.

He hadn't noticed the devilish look on the mans face until it was too late; Seiji quickly spun the blond around, facing away from the stream of water and gripped his hips tight so he wouldn't slip. Sono may have let out a squeal at that, but didn't have much time to say anything as he felt his lovers hand grip his right inner thigh, gently massaging the skin. The blond whimpered at the feeling, biting his lip when he felt Seiji press kisses to his bare, wet shoulder. His lips felt hot and damp against his skin, spurring more moans from Sonos mouth, hips jerking as his thigh was squeezed almost teasingly. He could feel his entire lower body threaten to explode; his cock was so hard and the moist air in the shower was starting to make him dizzy. He leaned his head back against Seijis shoulder and shut his eyes, trying to calm his pulsing loins.

Then he felt his leg start to move...without his body doing it for him. His head jerked down to see Seiji had lifted his leg and helped prop his foot against the rim of the tub, keeping him spread wide and gripped his knee so he, again, wouldn't slip and fall. This position made the blonds face burst in a red hue, never feeling so exposed before and gulped down the lump in his throat. He could see his arousal pulse wildly, precum starting to drip down his pale cock and he shivered again, startling when he heard Seiji moan low in his ear.

That was when he pushed his hips back a bit, gulping once again when he felt just how excited Seiji was against his backside. It was hard, hot and...also twitching enthusiastically. Sono flushed a deeper red, but relaxed his face and smiled, pushing back against it, feeling smug at the noises Seiji was making in response.

For a 22 year old, Seiji was quite...gifted in this sense. And it still blew Sonos brain away when he thought about their first night together. For all the fact that Seiji had been a virgin, it didn't seem like it at all. It was as if he had so quick to get in tune with Sonos body and desires, putting them before anything else. It certainly made the blond giddy to think that his lovers first sexual experience was that wonderful with him, even more so now that there would be no one else. He was more than aware of what Seiji was like when the right buttons were pushed and knew that deep down in that somewhat soft spoken (not so much these days anymore) man, there was a devious part of him that wanted to tear the blond apart with his cock.

Surprisingly, Sono was ready for that. Perhaps tonight was that night. All this light touching and teasing was certainly getting him going, and he was more curious as to what this 'punishment' Seiji had in mind really was.

It seemed like Seiji read his mind, or did he actually ask that out loud...he couldn't tell. He felt Seiji growl in his neck and bite down where it met his shoulder. Brown eyes snapped open at that, hips jerking at nothing and Sono let out a loud whine, needing some sort of friction. The shower stream, hitting Seijis back, was getting hotter and it made the room steamy, warm and cozy, but it did nothing to help the pulse of Sonos urge. He was starting to get impatient.

No sooner had he had the idea to tease Seiji about his slow pace did he feel one of the mans hands trace up his upright thigh, fingertips tickling his sensitive skin. Sono jerked again, feeling his foot slip a little, only for Seiji to put it back and whisper,

"If you slip, I'll catch you. But try to stay upright as long as you can."

The blond, once again, was not given a chance to respond to that. That hand that was tracing up his thigh had made its way to his groin, avoiding his shaft altogether and instead went right for his sac, cupping his balls in one hand and rolled them a few times, squeezing for good measure.

All the gears in Sonos brain shut off in seconds. He flung his head back, wet hair sticking to his face and let out a lewd moan, hips rocking with the feeling of such tender hands where he wanted. Each squeeze had his cock dripping onto the shower floor, running down the drain. Each light roll of the palm had him squirming in Seijis hold, the arm that was now wrapped around his waist suddenly letting go, a free hand cupping under his chin to turn his head.

Seiji smiled and pressed a soft kiss to a red cheek, whispering hot in his ear,

"Remember, love....don't slip."

The hand on his balls suddenly went away, leaving Sono breathless for a second in an attempt to regain his barings. His cock throbbed painfully, angry that it hadn't been touched yet, though in reality, if Seiji touched him now, he'd cum far too quickly.

Whimpering again, his mouth so close to his lovers, he pleaded with his eyes for another touch. And Seiji, so unlike him tonight, smiled at him brightly before pulling his head in for a harsh kiss. Sono keened at that, opening his mouth quickly and allowed Seijis tongue to play with his. One of his ones reached up to grip the back of Seijis hair, merely to ground himself, with the other gripped the bar of the shower curtain tightly, not trusting his hands to touch himself right now.

He could feel Seijis free hand tracing around his cock, trailing down to once again rub his fingertips against the soft skin of his sac, feeling how his balls hitched at that. Then he went further and the moment the blond felt a warm fingertip touch his pulsing entrance, Sono screamed into his lovers mouth in pure frustration.

And as if it couldn't get any worse (or better, he really couldn't be sure), Seijis finger then proceeded to lightly circle and trace around the area, never pushing or penetrating...simply touching.

Everything in Sonos body locked up and he tried to pull back from the kiss, but Seiji wasn't letting him. He simply gripped his chin tighter and kissed him with more vigor, his finger below him moving over and over his hole, the hot water making it relax and pulse more, eager for something.

Every so often, Seiji would switch fingers, doing nothing more than tracing all around and over the blonds aching want, chuckling in his throat when Sono would push back against this own cock, which by this point was hard as granite, but he could wait a bit longer. He thoroughly enjoyed the scene in his arms right now, feeling how roughly Sono was pulling his hair and how his wet body was jerking rapidly as he continued to tease him.

He knew Sono was close as it was; it never ceased to amaze him just how little it took to get the blond to this point, given all his...life experiences. But Seiji had completely one uped them all by just a bit of light touching. And the night wasn't even close to over yet.

Finally, Seiji broke the kiss and put a bit more pressure with his fingers to the blonds hole, but still never pushing inside. That seemed to be all it took. Sono threw his head back again and cried out in pleasurable frustration, hips now wild and swaying, wanting those fingers to just fuck him open.

His eyes were near black with how turned on he was and his face was brick red, his hair, drenched and sticking to his face, nearly fell into his eyes as he leaned his head back again, moaning loudly in the echo of the bathroom.

Within seconds, Sono choked out as best he could,

"P-please! Seiji, no more! Inside...please...it hurts...please!"

Seiji grinned a dark grin, pressing another kiss against a red cheek and muttered into his skin,

"I know if I do, you'll cum. And you realize when you do, it doesn't mean I'm stopping. I plan on making you scream for me and don't think for a second you only get just my fingers. I intend to make you cum for me more than you've ever cum for anyone else. So you know that no matter what, I'm the only one who can make you squirm like this....is that what you want?"

Sono couldn't stop his mouth even if he tried.

"YES! Please god, yes! Only you, Seiji! Please! I'm so close!"

Time seemed to stop as Seiji smirked and pressed another soft to his burning skin, nodding in acknowledgment....and thrust two wet fingers into Sonos body with no warning.

The scream that came from it bounced off the tile walls.

Seiji could only watch as this beautiful man in his arms came undone, crying out and jerking madly against him, thick cum shooting from the tip of his cock and splattered against the wall in front of him. His channel tightened quickly, squeezing Seijis fingers and trapping him in, much to his delight. He couldn't tear his eyes away from his lover, feeling his heart swell (among other things) and kissed his temple as Sono finally started to calm down, an occasional shiver here and there.

It was quiet for a moment, the sound of the shower running almost too loud for comfort. With a grin, Seiji twisted around to turn it off, feeling the water start to run cold anyway, before turning his attention back to the limp body in his arms....a limp body that had an unbelievable smile on his face.

The younger man chuckled and asked,

"Feel good?"

Sono nodded, not trusting his mouth and swallowed another lump in his throat, barely registering how Seiji slowly moved his leg back to a normal position, rubbing the tight muscles of his thigh and asked if he felt like it was cramping.

Honestly, Sono could feel nothing but sheer bliss from his stomach down. True, his leg felt weird after being propped up for that long, but he didn't really think too much about it. The fact that Seiji made him cum that hard by barely even touching him...it astonished him.

He was still shaking, not so much from the orgasm itself, but by looking down and seeing that even though he had just came...his cock barely softened. In fact, it was still hard, pulsing in the open ait and he whimpered, remembering that one of his hands was gripping the back of Seijis head.

The hand that was holding the shower rod in a death grip was gently pried off by the younger man, kissing up his arm and bicep, lips hot as they trailed up his shoulder and to his neck, to the spot behind his ear and finally, back to his temple, chuckling against his head and muttered,

"Ready to go to bed?"

Sleep was, mostly assuredly, not on the agenda....Sono knew that. But he smiled nonetheless and allowed Seiji to help him out of the shower, saying nothing as the man dried them both off and it was when Sono lowered his head so Seiji could get his hair, a devious smirk of his own formed on his face.

His eyes caught sight of Seijis absolutely rock solid dick, as if he wasn't even bothered by being so turned like this. It was thick and tanned, but almost red with how aroused he was. Sono never really thought about how gorgeous he found Seijis cock, but right now, after everything going on around them, Sono found himself craving it...more so than he usually would.

When they had sex, Seiji was always the one praising the blonds body, calling him beautiful, gorgeous, sexy, anything his fucked out brain could manage. When they were cuddled in bed together, Seiji would lavish him with kisses and hugs, handsy and telling Sono just how lucky he was to have such a wonderful man in his life.

In this very moment, as said man fussed with Sonos hair, the blond felt everything settle into place within himself. And he realized just how happy he was to be with Seiji, in more ways than one. Everything about the man just made him light up...everything the man did was downright perfect to him.

Seiji would call him sexy, gorgeous....beautiful, but sometimes at night, in the silence of either of their bedrooms, Sono would often trace his hands over the younger mans body when he slept, feeling his muscles and admiring the softness of his tanned skin. Those hands would trail up to Seijis jaw, his neck, his face and Sono could barely contain the pounding of his heart whenever he looked at the man.

Often times, during these moments, the blonds hand would lightly slip under the covers and feel around his lovers abdomen, just above his dark brown crown of hair and slowly move to his arms.

These arms...the same arms that held him with such passion their first time together and every moment since...the same arms that embraced him when he confessed about his reputation...that clutched him when he broke down after his past came to light...to the hands that wiped away his tears and the lips that kissed away his pain...

Sono was in love...he knew it from the start and tonight...tonight proved that there would be no one else. If it wasn't Seiji Yamada, it was no body. Sono was determined to make that known and even as the proposal still went somewhat unanswered, the blond was certain that above everything else, he was going to be the perfect partner.

Starting with repaying the pleasure he was lovingly gifted earlier.

Just as Seiji was finishing up with the wet mop of blond hair in front of him, using the same towel to dry his own hair, he was quickly caught off guard when he felt hands on his hips, pushing him back against the sink and looked down to see Sono on his knees, licking his lips and staring up at him with a look that could only be described as...as...

Debauched.

Nothing was said at first, but Seiji felt all that seductive energy he had suddenly vanish, a blush on his cheeks as he watched his lover crawl up to him, naked and a little damp from the shower, not to mention with a drop dead entrancing gleam to his eyes.

Then he lifted one delicate hand and lightly wrapped his fingers around Seijis thick shaft, nearly knocking the wind from the mans lungs as he didn't even think about how hard he really was until this very second. He then watched with wide, blown out eyes, as Sono brought his mouth towards him, licking a sinful stripe from the root to the tip, all while maintaining eye contact. Precum dripped from the tip and Sono smiled, his tongue poking out from his lips to collect it, moaning low at the taste.

For a second, both men said nothing, did nothing but breath and it was only when Sono looked up once again at the mans face, his eyes pleading and dark, casually pumping Seijis dick and licking every inch of skin he could get to did Seiji feel his resolve slipping.

Then, Sono spoke and the sound of his voice, dripping with lust and want, caused Seiji to slip back into his original intent. This night was about making Sono understand without a shadow of a doubt that Seiji wasn't going anywhere. His proposal was genuine, full of love and desire, but right now, his lust was starting to become much more pressing.

A sexy voice that simply started with...

"Seiji-kun..."

And ended just as hot breath greeted the tip of Seijis pulsing cock,

"...punish me..."

If having Sonos hand on his dick after so long made Seijis lungs forget to work, then having his dick suddenly engulfed in hot, wet heat caused his brain to forget for a second what planet he was on.

His hand shot to the blonds hair, not thinking as he jerked his hips and thrust himself deeper into Sonos mouth. Not that it wasn't welcomed. The blond actually moaned at the action, scooting on his knees to get closer and gripped Seijis hips, bobbing his head up and down and closed his eyes, savoring every inch of his lover on his tongue.

Seiji could already feel the tip of his cock hitting the back of the blonds throat and almost lost it. From his romantic dinner to feeling Sono up on the boat to his proposal to the shower...Seiji was so pent up and already close to bursting. His hand tightened in Sonos hair, yanking and pulling, feeling the muffled moans that vibrated his cock.

Then, out of nowhere, Sono removed his entire mouth from him, lips red and swollen and in a lopsided smile, before scooting even closer to latch his tongue to Seijis tight sac.

That was then the man felt his brain catch back up with him.

Seiji gripped Sonos hair and pulled him away from his groin, breathing heavily and legs shaking. And goddamn it, the blond had such a cute expression on his face, mockingly innocent as he asked,

"What's wrong?"

Nothing more was said; in a fit of strength neither man had known of, Seiji threw Sono over his shoulder, ignoring his playful punches to his back and carried him to the bedroom, throwing him on the bed with little grace.

Not a second after Sono settled against the pillows, Seiji sat ahead of him, a bottle in his hands and never broke eye contact as he lathered his fingers, not finger....FINGERS....in the clear substance. The blonds shivered a little, a jolt of arousal that caused his still hard cock to twitch against his stomach and gulped low.

With his dry hand, Seiji all but forced the blonds legs to spread, inching closer and asked with his eyes exactly how much Sono wanted this.

Sono nodded, not saying anything but reached up to grip the sheets above his head...just in case. He had figured Seiji would start with one, like he often did, to ease him into the stretch and coax him through it like every other time they were in bed.

Nope....not this time.

Seiji didn't start with one...he went in with three. And Sono could feel every part of his body ignite like a bomb. His back arched and he cried out, a little from shock, but oh lord, it was laced with pleasure unlike he had felt in a long time.

His hands nearly ripped the sheets as he clutched them tighter, body trembling and legs spreading wider, his hips moving to try and get Seijis fingers deeper. Not only did he succeed in doing so, he felt those fingers crook up a touch and Sono saw stars, his cock suddenly dripping like a faucet.

He didn't need to lift his head to see that Seiji had a sinister look in his eye, given how he found the speed to slip a fourth finger inside him, followed by the sudden grip of his left thigh, feeling it being lifted and slightly bent to get a deeper angle, which caused Sonos hips to lift from the bed as well.

It also caused a loud wail to rip from the blonds mouth, feeling utterly open and exposed, much like in the shower.

The pace Seiji set was downright brutal. Each time he thrust his finger deep inside the blonds body, he spread all four, stretching him wide and continued his quick speed moments after, alternating between the two paces. Sono could barely keep his mouth closed, gripping the sheets even tighter and squeezed his eyes shut. The moans tumbling out of his mouth were intoxicating, his head whipping all over the bed and drool leaking from his lips. If Seiji didn't know any better, (which he certainly did), he thought Sono was right on that edge of cumming again. To emphasize his thought, or just to be the sadist he was turning into tonight (shocker), when he thrust his fingers deep into the blonds channel, he used his thumb to press against the soft patch of skin under the blonds quivering sac....and he pressed **hard**.

The scream Sono let out could probably have woken his neighbors by this point, but he didn't care in the slightest. Watching his lover cum hard a second time was worth every noise complaint he may or may not get later in the week. He stared in awe as thick semen shot all over the blonds chest, dribbling down and mixing with his flushed skin. When he looked up at the blonds face, he could feel his heart thumb against his ribs.

Beautiful...simply debauched and beautiful. Once pale cheeks were tinted red and his eyes were glistening, staring at him in disbelief, as if he couldn't even comprehend what just happened.

Seiji simply smiled and hovered over him for a moment, licking some of the cum off his chest, pausing to tease his now red and swollen nipples, easing up when he heard a soft hiss. Ok, avoid his chest for right now. Got it.

He licked his way up to the blonds lips, kissing him softly, taking notice that Sono didn't bother recoiling at the taste of his own cum...instead, he opened his mouth and pulled Seiji closer, their tongues fighting and Sono literally moaned at his own taste on his lovers tongue.

This was shaping up to be much more kinkier than Seiji had expected, but he was more than thrilled to explore new things they both seemed to like...though now wasn't the time. His cock was so hard that it was starting to hurt and if he didn't bury himself in Sonos body soon, he'd go mad.

That said, he wasn't completely gone enough to ignore the slight shiver in the blonds form. Breaking the kiss slowly, Seiji huffed a little and asked,

"How are you holding up?"

He was expecting something along the lines of needing a break, maybe something to drink for his throat...but no..what he got was something else entirely.

Seiji felt his heart leap from his throat when he suddenly felt the squeeze of Sonos thighs wrapping around his hips, pulling him down closer to him and shuddered violently when he felt the tip of his cock graze the blonds drenched and stretched entrance. He felt his mind racing when he felt fingers digging into his back, other hand weaving into his hair, tugging lightly.

He felt his resolve and restraint utterly break when he caught the heated look in Sonos eyes, mixed with a voice that sounded not only wrecked, but velvety rich and unbelievibly sinful.

"Seiji....fuck me. And if you stop, I swear to god, I'll pin you to this bed and I'll do it myself."

Literal leagues away from what Seiji was expecting...but he smirked. How could he possibly ignore such a demand from his sweetheart when he clearly needed more than just simple fingers...Seiji chuckled and Sono scowled at him.

He squeezed the mans hips tighter, causing Seiji to gasp and fall forward a bit, catching himself on his elbows so he didn't collapse ontop of the blond, but didn't get much time to recover as the hand in his hair yanked roughly, pulling his head back and Seiji was greeted with such an angry stare.

Well...maybe angry wasn't the right word for it. Impatient, most definitely, but horribly horny and more than likely fed up with Seiji's teasing.

Yeah. That seemed more like it.

If that wasn't an idication, then the words that came from the blonds mouth certainly got the point across.

"You....You have been teasing me all fucking night...I should've known deep down you had this....this absolute beast just waiting for me to let my guard down. Well it's down and I'm so close to losing my shit if you don't take responsibility for the monster you let loose. You're so sweet and caring, beautifully loving to me every chance you get. Well right now, I don't want you to be sweet and caring. If you have more of that energy in you, then stop playing with me and do what you said you were going to do....punish me and **make**... **me**... **scream**."

.

.

.

.

.

_'Are you just going to gape at him or should I...take over for you?'_

  
  


Red flashed crossed Seijis vision for reasons he couldn't quite figure out....though the voice in his ear didn't help matters either. And he could tell Sono caught the angry look in his eye, but wasn't given a chance to ask.

Seiji reached back to unwrap the blonds legs from his body, gripping both his ankles tightly and spread his legs wide, giving his lover a second to make any sort of hesitation...he was given none and the man took this chance to thrust his cock, in one fluid motion, deep inside the blonds ass.

He let out an unnatural groan at just how hot and wet Sono actually was, opened a little thanks to his prep but still plenty tight and throbbing. His ears caught the tail end of the moan Sono let out and his body just seemed to move on its own.

Releasing his ankles to grip the inside of both thighs, keeping pale legs spread and knees practically touching either side of the pillows Sonos head rested on, Seijis hips snapped in a rhythm he wasn't sure he thought he could manage. His mouth opened to release moans of his own, sweat beading off from his forehead, knowing his brown hair was sticking to his face.

Though Sono looked no better...that was certainly debatable.

The moment Seiji started moving, the blond had simply become lax on the bed, fists tight against the pillows and wave after wave of screaming poured from his lips. His own hair was matted to his skin, eyes heavy and black as the night sky, face red and damp and good god, he looked so...fucking....

Ethereal...

His cock was once again hard against his stomach, dripping weakly and unable to give much else, but from the way Sono was just taking it all in, it felt like he could cum thousands of times if Seiji kept this pace up.

Seijis hips wouldn't stop for anything, not that he wanted to. His heavy breaths and moans reached an octave unfamiliar to him, but he'd be damned if he stopped now. He kept the blonds legs in a tight grip, spread wide and actually felt his cock throb deep in Sonos body when his ears picked up the wet sound of skin on skin. Not even just wet.

It was a lewd, smacking sound and Seiji moaned so loud that his rhythm became unhinged, tilting his position only a little as he shifted to rest on one of his knees, squatting with the other, moving one of Sonos legs to wrap around his hip so he could lean forward and kiss the man he loved so much.

He did not get that far. Sono let out a piercing moan and actually fought to get his other leg wrapped back around his lovers waist, keeping him locked and moaned hot and heavy, loud, wet and desperate,

"YES! Right there, right there! Don't stop! Oh god, please don't stop! Seiji, don't stop!"

He was utterly wrecked and Seiji moaned in response, resting on one elbow to press a deep kiss to Sonos drool coated lips, enjoying every bit of this unhinged demeanor.

He knew Sono wasn't one to be too terribly vocal during sex, save for his addictive moans and cries. This was a pleasant change and Seiji was only too eager to stoke the fire just a little more. He wasn't one for being vocal either but something about tonight was really bringing him out of his bubble.

He felt stronger, more assertive, more dominant and much...much more like the man his father knew he'd be. He understood now why his foster father killed himself (allegedly) after his wife had died.

If Seiji lost Sono in anyway, he'd be certain he'd react the same way. He was seriously so in love that he wouldn't even think twice when it came to keeping Sono safe and keeping him happy. Even at the cost of his reputation and his own life. He didn't care.

Sono was all that mattered to him. He's all that ever mattered to him.

Breaking the kiss, Seiji smirked at him, giving little love bites against his chin, trying to speak through his heavy breathing,

"So sexy...do you k-know how fucking beautiful are you? And you're all mine..."

A bite to his neck and Sono felt his body literally tighten up every muscle, one hand shooting to claw down Seijis back, most likely drawing blood and his other hand shot up to tangle in the mans damp brown locks, moaning hot and heavy in Seijis ear, only increasing as his sweet spot was getting dominated.

Seiji didn't think to stop talking, his hips suddenly getting rougher as he was nearing his peak. Releasing the blonds hip and resting his elbow on the other side of Sonos head, he dove in for another kiss, breaking apart quickly to moan out, not even hearing his own words. He didn't realize what was coming out of his mouth but his voice was deep...almost like it wasn't his own.

"I love you...I love you...I love you...I'll never let you go, Sono-san....I'm yours forever...I'm yours...and you're mine...say it...say you're mine!"

It came out in shambles as Sono threw his head back, tears pouring down his cheeks as he screamed in absolute ecstasy,

"No one else! I'm yours, Seiji-kun! All yours! And you're mine! All mine!"

They spoke one after another, with Seiji suddenly hitting his end and had this insane urge to truly mark Sono as his. Where it came from, he wasn't sure....but it was overpowering.

"No one else, Sono...no one else! I'll kill them...if they touch you, I'll kill them!"

"You're mine! Seiji, you're all mine! Yes yes yes yes yes yes YES!"

In a split second, Seiji growled and latched onto the blonds neck, biting so hard his teeth nearly broke skin. The resounding scream nearly busted his eardrums, but he felt the weak spurts of cum splash onto his stomach and chest, triggering his own orgasm.

With one final thrust, he released Sonos neck and let out a loud moan of his own, pumping his lover full of his seed in an end so intense, he saw stars of his own through his closed eyelids. He could barely register the sound of the blond whimpering, his hearing failing him for a moment.

Every muscle inside Sonos body tightened so much that it was literally milking him dry, each pulse of cum shooting into his lovers body making him shiver and gasp with every tremble.

The energy that Seiji had to hold himself up vanished in seconds, falling forward on top on the blond, who was still holding onto him like his life depended on it. His legs were still wrapped around his hips, those hands holding his shoulders and head tightly and by god, he was shaking hard.

It was quiet, save for their panting. Seiji felt a small chunk of energy returning to his arms and looked up at his lovers face, a tired smile gracing him.

That red blush on his cheeks had exploded, fading into a bright pink flush. His forehead was sweaty, having his hair stick to his skin.

Finally those brown eyes opened, seeing Seiji looking at him and gave him a gentle smile. Seiji let out a heavy chuckle and kissed him, only briefly and whispered,

"....Hi..."

"Heh...hi yourself...."

Seiji grinned and kissed the blonds forehead, pulling out of his body slowly, feeling Sono gasp and moan in his neck. He shivered as he pulled out of his body, suddenly not used to the cool air and given how wet his dick was, he knew they would have to take another shower....but not right now. It could wait just a little while longer. With a heavy, yet content sigh, he collapsed next to his lover, setting his hand on his neck and rubbed his pink face with his thumb.

Sono smiled at him, setting his own hand on Seijis, wincing a little as he felt warm seed leak out of his body. Seiji chuckled, getting close to him and whispered,

"Think you can go another round?"

"Shut up..."

Seiij giggled at him, then kissed his cheek, nuzzling his hair, hearing the snark in Sonos voice. It always made him chuckle when the blond would get testy with him....but perhaps testy wasn't a good word, seeing how Sono had such a content look on his face.

Unable to control himself, he soon started peppering kisses all over the blonds face, making him laugh with little to no air. He was winded, they both were, but Seiji had just enough in him to playfully ask,

"So, how about another shower?"

A rather weak punch to his chest was one response, followed up by,

"How about you hush? I can't move my damn legs because of you."

"Hey, I didn't hear you complaining at all so you can't say anything. So vocal, Sono. I've never heard you scream like that before. Heh, now all my neighbors will know I'm taken and clearly happy."

Sono blushed and looked away, unable to hold back a smile. Damn Seiji and his constant, stupid teasing...damn him and his cheery optmoisim...damn him and his smile...just damn him...

Turning his head to face him, he was greeted with a soft kiss from Seiji before being pulled up to lay on the bed properly, covering them with the blankets. Sono suddenly felt dead tired. This entire day was a strain on his mind and body and he needed a night of restful sleep in order to recharge.

His eyes closed and he was ready to just sleep the day off.

"Oh! I almost forgot!"

Oh well.

Sono sighed and opened his eyes to see Seiji suddenly jumping from the bed and bolted on shaky legs out the door, earning a curious stare. It didn't take long before Seiji ran back in, one hand hiding something behind his back and sat next to him in bed, a loving smile all over his face.

"I was going to give this to you on the boat, but after some thought, I didn't think you'd like it in front of all those people. Plus, I figure just us is just as romantic....my original plan was to give this to you as soon as we got back but uh...haha...yeah."

Sono quirked his eyebrow, curious at what he meant, forcing himself to sit up and ignore the pain below his waist. Seiji settled himself next to him and reached out with his free hand, rubbing his knuckles and smiled a soft smile before saying,

"This time, I'll be proper and ask you rather than just voice what I want. I mean, I asked you, but I think this could be just as could. I'd get on one knee but it already felt like I was a new born calf trying to walk after what we just did."

Sono, now understanding what was happening, suddenly looked down as Seijis finally revealed what was in his other hand....a simple black box.

  
  


_This isn't happening...this isn't happening....this isn't happening..._

_.....Oh my god..._

  
  


"...Sono Hanasaki..."

  
  


_He isn't serious...he can't be...he knows everything about me and..._

_He's really doing this.....he isn't really....this isn't real....._

  
  


  
  


"...will you marry me?"

_......Oh my god....it's real...._

  
  


  
  


Seiji opened the box and Sono was given little time to sort out the voices in his head. His eyes widened to the size of plates and already felt tears starting to pool.

The ring was beautiful.....a solid white gold band with what looked to be an opal gem as the center piece....his birthstone...Seiji actually got his birthstone...

Sono couldn't help but smile through his tears, memories of the ring Naoki gave him suddenly at the forefront, but he pushed them away as quickly as they came. This wasn't the time for him to be thinking of a dead love he used to have.

Seiji was here....Seiji was alive and here he was, presenting him with such a beautiful ring...a symbol of his love for him...a reason to keep fighting..

Tears finally dripped down his cheeks and an even bigger smile formed on his cheeks, babbling quietly,

"God...I can't believe you, Seiji...I just can't believe you...I can't..."

Seiji couldn't help but smile a wide smile as Sono started to ramble while trying to wipe his tears away. But he moved closer to him, kissing his head and running his fingers through his hair, effectively calming him down. He set the box down by his leg and gently took Sonos hand, bringing it up to his lips and pressed soft kisses against his palm before lacing their fingers together. He knew the kind of things that could be going through Sonos mind right now...he already understood why he had the reaction he had on the boat.

Sono was scared of this proposal, not because of what it meant for them, but because of the danger it could easily put Seiji in. Not that he cared.

He made it very clear in the beginning of this entire mess that no matter what happened, Seiji wasn't budging. Come Hell or high water, Seiji would gladly lay down everything for Sono and whether or not the blond approved of this, it didn't matter right now. Seiji was always taught to fight and protect the things you love...he'd be damned if some madman from his lovers childhood try and take that away from him.

He also knew this was the reason Sono did not give him a clear answer...he simply said that Seiji wasn't given him a reason to say no. And that certainly was not a yes.

But Seiji could take it for now and hopefully, when this entire thing was settled, once HE was locked away forever....Seiji would get on one knee and ask again...and when he did, he knew Sono would say yes.

Reaching over to run his fingers over Sonos cheek, he smiled softly and said,

"You don't have to answer me now. It's yours whether you say yes or no. I just want you to know that no matter what happens, I'll wait as long as you need me to. In the meantime, wear it, brag to everyone that you love someone and that they love you... That's all I'm asking for now."

Seiji then reached down to pick up the box, removed the ring, and slipped it onto the blonds finger, immediately overjoyed when Sonos eyes gleamed at it. He stared at it for a long time, unsure of what to say. He honestly didn't need to say anything.

Pressing a kiss to his nose, Sono smiled to himself and nodded, somehow elated that Seiji knew already the turmoil that was running through his brain. He truly didn't deserve such a patient man...Seiji had been so understanding with everything going on and even after his emotional blow ups and episodes and attacks...Seiji wanted to marry him.

The idea was so...unreal. How could someone be so caring and thoughtful while at the same time be as protective and dominating as the man in front of him? It was like a dream come true.

After Naoki died, Sono didn't really like to think about marriage or things like that in any regard. Given how he treated his body and his life, he didn't think he would even close to ideal for a marriage partner....but that didn't mean he still didn't dream about what his ideal husband would be like...

Handsome, caring, strong and patient enough to stand with him on his worst days. Sono had plenty of those. And in return, he'd be the most supportive spouse he could be. He wanted to make his husband happy and give him whatever he wanted...then again, that way of thinking was born from many years of letting men do whatever they wanted to him with very little fight. He had this sick picture in his head of being with someone who just used him and he'd have to sit back and take it all because he wanted to feel loved....like he did with every 'relationship' he had. So really, his idea of what marriage would be like didn't differ from his experiences in a so called love life.

But then he thought about his parents, something he didn't do often until recently....growing up, he always saw his parents as the picture perfect couple...they were always finding new ways to make each other happy and they seemed to be so in love. Even when he went through his most depressing moments, they stood by each other. Yeah, they fought (what couple didn't), but they never went to bed angry with each other. He never once saw his father raise a hand to his mother or vice versa (Naomi was no pushover) and he thought back, just before he left for university, around the time that he and his father 'made up', he tearfully told his father that he wanted someone just like him. Someone to hold him and keep him safe, kiss him when he felt sad and someone to make him smile.

Sono shook his head as he recalled his fathers response, not willing to go back down that road just yet. Right now was much more important.

Seiji wanted to marry him...and yet he was willing to wait until Sono felt more comfortable with the idea or just until this Takeo shit was done and over with. Which....made him nervous...they hadn't heard any updates lately and not knowing was making him anxious. Takeo could easily find them both and....no.

No, he didn't want to think about this right now. He had just had one of the most passionate nights of his entire life, shared a wonderful evening with his boyfriend and felt satisfied from the most intense sex he ever remembered having.

His anxieties about Takeo could wait...Seiji was here and Seiji was what mattered to him most of all.

With a soft sigh, Sono nodded his thanks, tears still fresh in his eyes and it was all Seiji seemed to need from him. The younger man wrapped his arms around the blond and kissed him deeply, pressing him back against the bed and whispered his love for him, how he'd always loved him and how happy Sono made him.

Little things spoken into his ear like that and Sono was butter...not to mention exhausted. He tried to stifle a yawn, but when Seiji snickered at him, he groaned and mentioned he was going to sleep whether Seiji was there or not.

In the end, both men were curled up together under the sheets, lights out and comfortable in their embrace. Sono had rested his head against Seijis chest, leaning up to kiss his lips softly, a thank you for this entire evening. Seiji simply smiled and kissed his blond mop of hair, shutting his eyes before whispering a tired 'I love you.'

And for the first time in a long time, Sono found himself too giddy to fall asleep just yet. He stared at the man who had captured his heart, given him so much love and care and understanding...he couldn't believe his luck...

The gleam of his ring caught his eye, a somber smile to his cheeks, but nothing else had to be said. Sono was in love with him...Seiji was in love with him...they truly wanted each other...it was...

  
  


_'I'm so happy for you...but please...be careful...'_

  
  


What was that?

  
  


Sono shot up quickly, looking around the dark room, his eyes still tired and worn out. He heard that, right? He heard someone right in his ear...it sounded like...no...now way.

The blond shook his head, now feeling utterly ridiculous for thinking such a thing. He was a grown man, for gods sakes...he shouldn't be thinking about something so...stupid.

With a groan masked as a sigh, the blond settled back into bed, next to his love and snuggled close to him, basking in his warmth as he closed his eyes, finally falling asleep, dreaming of the future he and Seiji could have together...

For the first time in a long time, Sono went to sleep with a smile on his face...for the first time in a long time...he wasn't afraid...of anything.

.

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_2:45 am_

_To: yamada.seiji@xxxx.com_

_From: Suruzawa.Yakura@TokyoPD_

_Subject: Urgent_

_I'm sorry to bother you this late at night, but this is urgent. I tried calling both yours and Hanasaki-kuns phones, but both went to voicemail. I realize you both may be asleep, so I'll keep this brief, but I really need you to call me or Oishi as soon as you read this. I received a report from my team that another young man was killed today in the Umeda district. Takeo was spotted there and I have men scouting the area and trying to find clues, but we're coming up short. No one seems to be talking and my men say they found the kid..a fucking 16 year old...outside an apartment complex called Senerite...correct me if I'm wrong, my memory might just be fuzzy in my old age, but isn't that the building that Hanasaki-kun lives?_

_Call me as soon as you can._

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you feeling that warm, fuzzy feeling and thinking that everything is suddenly gonna be ok?
> 
> Well, knock that shit off. It's about time for life to get ugly. 
> 
> Deuces, ya'll. 
> 
> NOW I'll see you in 2020 XD


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry not sorry 
> 
> *scampers away into the void*

_"Answer me this...why did you end your relationship with him if you were going to turn into this...whatever it is you are."_

_"I wasn't good enough for him...not enough bodies to show how much I really loved him...I wanted to show him that I would do...anything for him..."_

_"And...that includes murdering people...Innocent people...your dad...me?"_

_"...ESPECIALLY you..."_

_\--_

  
  


**Mass Murderer Claims New Victim: City On Alert**

**On July 25** th **, at approximately 9:45 pm, police were called to investigate a noise complaint in the Umeda district at the apartment Senerite. When officials arrived, they were greeted to a gruesome scene. In the alleyway parallel to the apartment complex, police discovered the body of 16 YO Usukuro Mitsuro. Detectives arriving on the scene closed off the area, examining the body and warding off the alley from any passerbys. According to reports, Mitsuro's body was stripped naked and beaten, multiple bruises and signs of struggle around the neck, wrists, legs and abdomen, where the fatal wound was discovered, presumably by stabbing. Reports are also revealing that Mitsuro was bound, gagged and sexually assaulted during the struggle. No suspects have been found at this time, however, Tokyo based detective Suruzawa Yakura strongly believes this is the calling pattern of recently reported mass murderer Mizuno Takeo, who had started making waves in the city of Osaka just months prior, when 17 YO Hidakawa Rei was found raped and left for dead just behind his families home in Tennoji. Suruzawa-san refused to give comment as to his knowledge of Mizunos behavior and pattern, only stating that the matter is being addressed and looked into by the highest authority in Tokyo next to the police and the mayor. No witnesses were discovered; many of the residents around the area had been reported to have attended the Tenjin Festivities at the time of the attack. For further development of this story, please remain subscribed to our local news chapter. Updates will occur as the case moves forward.**

  
  


"Whatever it is you're reading, stop it. I can hear your anxious thoughts from here."

Seiji sat up suddenly, nearly dropping his phone in shock and quickly turned in his chair, facing his friend with a sorry look, running his hands through his hair and sighed. He had been reading the same article over and over for the past 20 minutes, trying to focus on his work, but failing as his mind went elsewhere.

How could he focus on anything else, though, when these last few days were by far the best of his young life, article aside.

It didn't shock him really that this was the first time he was really seeing it when the date it was published was marked from less than a week ago, maybe 2 days after the festivities; he and Sono had barely left his apartment since the night of the fireworks, didn't even bother looking at their phones (having turned them off just before they left for the docks that night).

Hell, they barely left Seijis bed at all for the past few days, only for absolute necessities and food. Any other time, they were snuggled under the covers, watching movies on the younger mans laptop, stealing kisses and occasionally, having another bout of sex before taking short naps to start the time over again.

It had certainly been wonderful, though Seiji knew his lovers work was probably taking a malicious backseat from this...his own included. His break was just about up and he knew he had to get back into the swing of his work before his usually nice and friendly publisher turned into the stern business man he liked to pretend he was showed up at his doorstep...not often, but it's happened one time too many.

Seiji didn't want to work...he didn't even want to create a new series or continue one of his older ones just yet...he wanted to go back to a week ago, relive those nights curled up in bed with his lover in his arms, watching him sleep so soundly for hours before getting up to make them coffee or tea. He wanted to go back to the times where they would be watching movies after eating from their favorite cafe (delivered, thanks to the wonder that is food apps) and half way during the movie, the blond would link his arm around the younger mans and nuzzle his shoulder with a smile. It was his way, at the time, of getting the mans attention before going in for a kiss...which easily led to other happenings, all of which left the men both exhausted and unbelievably satisfied.

And gods...the way the blond balled up next to him while they slept, breathing peacefully against Seijis chest...yes...the last few days were wonderful and Seiji was determined to make every day like that for as long as he could.

There was just one issue...of the many he was faced with.

Moments after Sono forced himself to go home, kissing his love and thanking him for such an incredible time, Seiji turned his phone back on and was instantly bombarded with missed calls and voicemails, emails flooding in that ranged from his publisher needing more pages from him to ready another series to more interview requests...to an email from Yakura that sent chills down Seiji's spine as he read it.

He didn't get much of a chance to respond as his friend and oh so helpful fellow artist, Yasuda, showed up at that moment for them to get started on their work (or rather help Seiji get back into his work while Yasuda blew off his own, per usual).

It was hard to get back into the groove of things, especially when he had just read something that had startled him to his core. Even while Yasuda was in the kitchen making them some coffee, Seiji had sent a quick text to Sono, asking if things were alright and if he noticed anything strange at his apartment.

He hadn't gotten a response yet and it worried him more than it should've. He groaned low and lowered his head into his palms, trying to keep his thoughts at a minimum, constantly telling himself things were ok. Nothing bad happened (murder of another innocent boy aside, Seiji winced to himself) and that things were going to be alright. He saw Sono off with a smile and a kiss to both his lips and to his ring, with the promise that he'd be over in a few days once they both got settled back into their work.

He remembered the soft look Sono gave him, a smile laced in hesitation....his body shaking and eyes shimmering bright, yet dim at the same time. Seiji couldn't help but frown as he recalled that look many times before and knew that this time, there was a whole new reason behind it.

Neither of them wanted to leave each other...not with the way things had been going. The last few days were wonderful...peaceful...perfect. It was so natural, like it was how things should've been from the very start.

Seiji would wake early and start coffee for them before waking his lover up with a kiss to the cheek or lips, depending where he could reach. The remainder of their day would be curled up together in bed or on the couch and lounge the entire day away, basking in the others comfort. And to face the reality that they would have to go back to their everyday lives, away from each other...Seiji didn't like it. He could tell Sono didn't either.

Why he didn't ask the blond then and there to move in with him or vice versa, he didn't know. For gods sakes, they were engaged now (sort of). It should've been nothing more than a simple question or a second proposal.

But then...with the months now coming back full force...Seiji knew that nothing with Sono was simple anymore. At least not for now.

Seiji sighed; thinking this much was getting him nothing more than just a headache. And when a mug of hot coffee was set next to him, he couldn't help but smirk and look up to his best friend, nodding his thanks.

Yasuda scoffed and sipped his coffee, taking a deep breath in and said,

"You're more useless today than I've ever seen you in the years we've been manga-ka, never mind the amount of years we've been friends. What's with you tonight? I thought you and Hanasaki-san had a nice break. Fucks sakes, you barely left this place, that's for sure. Did something happen?"

Seiji chuckled a little, rubbing his head and took a large (heated) gulp of coffee, not caring that he was burning his tongue and said,

"No...not exactly...I mean, nothing bad, anyway."

Yasuda scoffed again and sat on the couch, setting his cup on the coffee table before propping his feet up, eyebrows wiggling a moment.

"You sure about that? I keep seeing you glancing at your phone...did he text you or something? Oh god, is it filthy? Have you two started sexting? Should I look the other way?"

It was so easy to rile Seiji up like this. The man flushed a bright red on his cheeks and Yasuda couldn't help but smirk, especially when his friend waved his hands and laughed to himself, sparing himself the already unneeded embarrassment.

They laughed together for a few minutes before Seiji finally calmed down, hand on his chest and exhaled loudly, muttering,

"No...haha...nothing like that. It's um...it's just an article I was reading."

Again, Yasuda chuckled and reached over to sip his coffee before setting it back down, already aware of what article Seiji was talking about. It was a widely discussed topic in their office, why he wasn't sure, but the interns and newly assistant manga-ka were all abuzz about it....especially the ones with blond hair, he noticed. He remembered how panicked they all looked after reading all the articles that showed up and how they were considering taking time off so they could stay home until the guy either was caught or killed.

Just to be sure and actually wanting to hear his friends opinion on the matter, Yasuda tilted his head and said,

"Is it about that killer everyone's been talking about? I swear, I can't turn on the news without hearing about some mass murderer is stalking the city. It is kinda freaky, though. I heard the last sighting was in Umeda..."

Then...Yasuda stopped talking and backtracked his words. He looked up and saw the look of quiet worry on Seiijs face, hidden behind a small smile. Yasuda knew why and felt like such an ass.

Umeda was the district that Hanasaki-san lived...he remembered that. And while it was huge, it was still unsettling that such a dangerous person was sighted so close to where his best friends boyfriend lived. And reminding himself that the guy was targeting men with blond hair only, it did make Yasuda a little concerned.

But what was more concerning to him was just how invested Seiji was with this. Never mind the fact that he was getting updates from some police officers and still didn't know why; Seiji only briefly mentioned something about an investigation and....ohhhh.

Another scoff and a snarky question,

"Why are you so interested all of a sudden?"

Seiji chuckled again before cracking his neck, rubbing a spot near his shoulder and sheepishly responded,

"Like I said before, it's...complicated...."

"Are we talking like the same level of complicated like how I found out about you and Hanasaki-kun or is this on a totally different scale?"

When Seiji didn't answer him, Yasuda pretended to be offended, even though deep down, he was a little put off that his best friend was still hiding aspects of his relationship from him...though he was aware as the circumstances why. He wasn't stupid.

Still, it was fun to tease his best friend and he smiled to himself, muttering,

"I see...yet another thing you don't wanna tell m--"

"It's not that I don't want to tell you, Yasuda...it's just...well...I just don't know if he'd want me to."

It took a moment for Yasuda to realize that there was not a hint of jest in his friends voice...which stunned him. He lifted his head and noticed how the look on Seijis face looked...conflicted...nervous...worried.

Well this took a weird turn. And so quickly too...but why.

Immediately intrigued, Yasuda sat up straight on the couch and was prepared to ask Seiji even more questions, but was stopped when Seiji shot a glare at him, taking him back a second and even more so when Seiji, out of the blue, just snapped at him,

"Please, can we just drop it for right now? I thought you came here to light a fire under my ass, not talk more about how my relationship confuses you."

What? What the hell was up with that smart ass remark?

Had it not been so obvious that Yasuda was making an attempt to understand his friends relationship, he actually would've snapped back at the comment. But this was a delicate situation. He knew that. That night still rang fresh in his head and the image of an emotionally broke down Hanasaki Sono still burned his eyes and hurt his heart.

It still felt weird to even acknowledge the fact that the person he heard to be a slut in their work community was actually nothing more than a normal person that had been hurt by circumstances out of his control....and that whatever was happening was hurting him more now than Seiji had let on.

But...seeing them at the party, seeing how happy they were together...seeing how in love they were and how protective Seiji had become...Yasuda had tried to take an active role in learning all he could about his best friends boyfriend and not just because the man was a highly praised manga-ka.

That said....he didn't understand what it was he had found. He started with that strange article Seiji had found ages ago....something about a shooting and tried to work around that. But once he read it, he didn't want to read anymore. He felt sick for even thinking of snooping in something he had no business in.

But...at the same time...something about this entire thing didn't make sense. Seiji was avoiding certain questions when it came to Sono and that itself made some sense, he knew that. It was just everything else. And he knew that people react differently to different situations. But seeing how broken down and drunk and ungodly miserable Sono looked that night...this wasn't just depression. This was something deeper.

Yasuda recognized the broken look in Sonos eyes as the same look his own brother had every day before he took his own life. And that's what freaked him out the most. Never mind the fact that he was looking at someone who was struggling with his own demons that could easily take over given the chance....but this person was his best friends boyfriend....someone Seiji loved more than anything. And what friend didn't want to make the effort to get along with his best friends better half? He wanted to...but Seiji was making it difficult and he didn't understand why.

After another long stretch of silence, Yasuda sighed and said, a little annoyed and suspicious,

"....I did....but now I can't help but think about what else you're keeping from me. I told you before that I wasn't going to judge whatever is going on with you two. And...Han—Sono, seems to trust me enough. So spill. What's going on? Why are you so personally freaked out by these articles? What does it have to do with Hanasaki-kun? Does it-"

A loud ringing sound cut Yasuda off, thankfully. Seiji peered down at his godsend of a cell phone, praying that it was Sono responding to his message. Hell, a call from his boss would've been fine just to get himself out of this awkward conversation.

Holding his finger up to his friend for a moment, Seiji reached for his phone and peered at the number flashing on his screen....he gave pause, eyes a touch wide with confusion and a little worry. It wasn't often that they called him; they usually always just emailed him.

So this....this was new.

He pressed the green answer button and pressed his phone to his ear and answered with,

"Oishi?"

A loud exclamation was his respondent and he actually had to hold the phone a few inches away from his ear for a second. God, why is this man so loud? He could hear, clearly, the man trying to find his words for a few moments, giving Seiji enough time to get the hearing back in his right ear as he pressed his phone back against it, tapping his desk impatiently.

Then, finally, Oishi came back and this time, sounded much calmer (but still sounded serious),

_"Yamada-kun, thank god, you answered! I've been trying to reach Hanasaki for the past 15 minutes...is he with you?"_

Oh.

That's a new one. Seiji blinked for a second to process the question and turned in his chair to hunch over, rubbing his forehead in stunned silence.

Ever since this investigation started, it had been established that Seiji would be the one receiving updates and Sono would not be told anything about it for his own mental sake and emotional sanity...it wasn't...the most healthiest of choices, but it was something they all could agree on. And it seemed to be working out to some degree.

With Sono not knowing (and obviously trying to not care) about anything revolving around Takeo currently, he seemed fine...in a way. And Seiji was sure to keep the updates to himself and only to fill Sono in if the updates were getting more and more serious. Which they hadn't been...at least until he read the newest one later than he should've. He was already on edge because of that and Sono still had not responded to his text yet, so now he was starting to grow a little panicked.

And for Oishi to mention that he had been trying to call Sono for the last few minutes sent numerous red flags all over Seijis brain. Even more so when he was asked if the blond was with him.

Finally, after a moment of thought and looked up to see Yasuda giving him a dumbfounded stare from his couch, Seiji cleared his throat and answered,

"...No...he went home about an hour ago. Oishi, what's going on?"

He could barely get his words out before the man on the other end suddenly seemed to change from the eccentric man he had met to the most serious sounding officer he had encountered since Yakura...and Seiji had cops for foster parents...that says something.

_"I'll keep it short; I'm sure you've read Yakura-samas email and probably seen the article that was put out a few days back. How Takeo was spotted in Umeda and took the life of that boy?"_

.......

"Yes?"

_"Well, about 20 minutes ago, someone reached out to us, claiming to have seen a dark haired man in black clothing picking the lock to someones apartment that night moments before he and that boy crossed paths. The witness claimed he thought it was the resident...but then remembered today that the resident of that unit had blond hair...not black. Can you confirm Hanasaki's unit number? Apartment 402?"_

Oh dear....Seiji didn't like where this was going at all.

He straightened his back and gulped loudly, not at all wanting to think about the ideas rushing through his head. His eyes must've widened to the point of total panic, because Yasuda got up from the couch and shared the same expression, only seeing his friends facial reactions change so quickly. He mouthed silently, 'what's going on?', before Seiji shushed him with his hand and responded in a shaken voice,

"Y...yes...402."

There was a weird rustling over the phone, enough for Seiji to finally blink for a second, before a much more deep and gruff voice resounded over the phone.

_"Fuck....that's what I was afraid of..."_

Seiji's heart dropped to his feet. He shot up from his chair, startling his friend for a moment, but didn't even remotely think about it as he asked in an voice he was sure sounded terrified,

"Ya-Yakura? What the hell is going on?"

Again, more rustling over the phone, but Yakura same back quickly, sounded angry and worried and stressed in one giant ball. Seiji was starting to feel the same and he could feel eyes burning their gaze on him...eyes that didn't belong to Yasuda.

_"Listen, I don't know all the details at this moment. I'm still trying to put together the statement. But the witness we have on record claims that someone entered Hanasaki's apartment while he was gone, presumably because he was with you the night of the fireworks. What he did in there, we don't know. I'm assembling a few people for us to get out there and search, once I get a warrant filed, but I need to be sure he's either home or with you. If I go there guns blazing and give him an inkling of an idea that Takeo was in his home...you know what may or may not happen."_

Oh hell, did he ever. By now, Seijis heart was so far into his body that he couldn't hear his own pulse in his ears anymore. He felt cold and hot all at once; Yasuda was trying to get an idea of what was going on, but Seiji only opened his mouth to answer Yakura, gulping again before asking,

"And...and you haven't...spoken with him?"

_"Seiji...we have been trying to call him for the last 15 minutes. Every attempt as failed. Phone calls, emails, nothing has gone through. In this situation, I have to assume the worst. Unless you think you can get a hold of him before we get there."_

Assume the worst....

Assume the worst....

Assume the worst....

Oh good god, what the hell was happening right now?

Every little second suddenly felt like a minute and every minute suddenly felt like an eternity. Seiji wasn't sure how to respond at first. He could only think to the text he sent his boyfriend and how he never got a response...he thought back to when he had to send him home, the frightened hug, the kiss that left them both emotional...oh god...

If Takeo had been to Sonos apartment, what were the chances that he was still there? Holy shit, did he find him? Did Takeo get to Sono before he was actually found? Was he waiting for him to return home just to...

Seiji shook his head rapidly, eyes burning and he gravely murmured into the phone,

"5 minutes...give...give me 5 minutes."

before hanging up and immediately punched in Sonos number, holding it to his ear and began pacing around the living room, biting his lip, chewing his thumb...ignoring his friends now panicked questions.

"Yamada, what the hell is going on? Who was that?"

Seiji didn't bother listening to him. When the first tone of Sonos voicemail came through, Seiji canceled the call and tried again, still pacing around the room and biting his thumb so hard, he had broke the skin.

"C'mon...pick up...pick up..."

Once again, voicemail...Seiji growled and tried a third time...

No answer...

A fourth time.

Nothing but a voicemail.

Seiji snapped loudly at nothing,

"Damnit, answer your phone!"

Finally, Yasuda stepped in front of him and grabbed his shoulders, knocked his thumb from his teeth and shook him violently, eyes burning at him and snapped back into his friends face, unable to watch this weird ass breakdown Seiji was having,

"Will you chill for 5 seconds and tell me what's going on!? Who is Oishi...and whose Yakura? What is happening right now?"

Everything stopped. The ringing in Seijis ears, the gaze on his back suddenly vanished and he could feel his heart start back up again. But the look Yasuda was giving him made him double back a moment and he started to panic once again.

He frantically pushed Yasuda away from him and went to get his keys, his jacket and his wallet, not thinking as he said in a rush after turning to look at him,

"Yasuda....I'll...I'll explain later. I need to get to Sonos place now. Something's happened, I can feel it. He needs me right now."

It seemed that when Seiji mentioned Sonos name, all the gears shifted in Yasudas head. No longer angry and confused....now he looked worried and confused instead. His tone changed drastically and stomped over to his friend, asking along his stride, freaking out himself near the end,

"What? Is he ok? Is he hurt? Did he have another episode? Is that who you were trying to call? Damnit, don't freak me out like this!"

While it was nice....weird, but nice....to see his best friend so concerned over someone he barely knew, Seiji really didn't have the energy to acknowledge that. He sat at his threshold and tied his shoes, no longer looking at Yasuda, but spoke up clearly to get his point across. He didn't sound panicked anymore...

Now he just sounded scared.

"I don't have time. I...I need to see if he's ok. If he's not answering for them...and he's not answering for me...then something bad happened. He could be busy...I hope to hell that's the answer...but...he could...he's alone right now, Yasuda and you of all people know what could happen when people like him are left alone."

It was a low blow, sure. But that seemed to get Yasuda to change his tone quickly. With a nod, he got his own shoes on and grabbed his jacket, earning a strange look from Seiji, who now had to be helped to his feet.

Yasuda glared at him with his hand on the doorknob, saying,

"I'm coming with you. Fuck work right now. I'll get us a cab. We need to go."

No other words were exchanged. Both men ran from the apartment, not bothering to lock up and ran down the stairwell while Yasuda went ahead to hail a taxi. The moment they got in and Seiji gave the driver Sonos apartment name and district, he immediately went back to trying to call him, all while Yasuda was trying to keep him calm even though he himself was starting to push into a panic.

They had just crossed over an intersection when Yasuda overheard the blonds voicemail pick up again, along with a very quiet 'shit' from Seijis mouth. When he peered over to check on his friend, he was stunned to see a wild expression in his eyes, gripping his phone so tightly that he could easily crush it if given the chance.

Yasuda gulped the lump in his throat and rested his hand on his friends shoulder, whispering to him,

"Keep trying him. We'll be there soon."

before turning his attention to the driver and said sternly,

"You might want to drive a little faster."

  
  


\--

_Back track 35 minutes_

  
  


Never before in Sonos life did he think a shower could feel that wonderful after days of what he could call 'erotic activity.'

Or passionate....either way, he was worn out and the moment he stepped foot into his apartment, he could hear his shower calling him name.

The feeling of the scalding hot water was nice on his skin, relaxing his muscles and put him in such a content like mood that he wasn't sure he had felt in a while. How could he not?

Seiji had made these last few days the best he had ever experienced in his life. Never mind the fact that they had been basically engaging in intense sex every moment they could find, but the raw love Sono felt under all that lust made him dizzy.

Moments where the younger man would manhandle him (and god, did that turn Sono on more than he liked to admit), force him against the bed, the doors, the walls, the floor....anywhere...it got the blonds blood pumping so hot that he could barely think of anything else. When Seiji was dominant and sadistic, making it so Sono could not fight back in anyway....it was hot. Insanely hot and unbelievably sexy. The blond was pretty sure he hadn't had orgasms like that in his entire adult life...the ones that left one lethargic and totally satisfied.

But then he thought about the gentle moments, where they'd be in bed together spooning and it would turn into something heated. He recalled being woken up by a rather aroused Seiji behind him, pressing his cock against his backside and lifted his leg wide so it could rest on his hip while he slid inside with zero resistance. His entire body had tingled with sensitivity and could do nothing but grip his pillow, moan and whimper loudly as Seiji gently made love to him, kissing his hair and reached over to grip his hand, huffing into his locks.

He would whisper into Sonos ear how much he loved him, how he always loved him and how good he felt to be with him like this. The blond felt tears in his eyes as his sweet spot was hit with each soft thrust. And when it was over, when the orgasm left the blond so tired and blissed out, Seiji was quick to clean them both and practically cocoon the blond in blankets and waited until he went back to sleep. When he woke, he was greeted with a hot cup of tea on the nightstand and a soft hand in his hair, connected to the most loving smile he had ever wanted to see.

He didn't want to leave him; it was only sheer reality and realization that his work was so far behind that he forced himself to return home today, but he could tell Seiji didn't want him to leave either. When they hugged, Sono could feel the mans shudder deep under his clothes....he shuddered too. When they kissed, Seiji pulled Sono in so tightly and kissed with such love that Sono was actually considering retiring early just so he couldn't be away from this.

In the back of his mind, he also considered asking Seiji his thoughts on getting an apartment together, somewhere down the line, but when their kiss broke, he knew it wasn't the right time. But then...when would ever be the right time...

Sono sighed and ran his towel over his hair once more before tossing it into his hamper, rubbing his neck and felt the fabric of his pajama shirt....well...rather it was one of Seijis old dress shirts he stole as he was packing up his things. But Seiji didn't need to know that.

It felt soft, satin like and it even smelt like the younger man....it certainty brought a smile to his face. Even while Seiji did his laundry throughout his time with him, Sono had somehow found a way to sneak his clothing from him and curl himself up in shirts, hoodies, sweats, whatever he could find. The scent of him calmed Sono greatly even when he didn't realize he had started to panic over nothing. There were moments where he'd be sitting on the couch and for gods knows why, a memory of his school days would flash over his eyes, vivid memories of his abuse as a young adult would grip him and he'd feel the start of a minor panic attack. When he recalled that his inhaler was not a priority for his time with Seiji (an afterthought, of sorts), all he needed was to take the top of which ever shirt he was wearing and breath in softly....he felt silly doing it at first, depending on his boyfriends...fiance's....scent to calm him...but after a while...it felt normal.

Even now, alone in his home....he felt Seiji was here with him as he breathed in the soft scent of his shirt, soothing his nerves and easing his paranoia. It felt weird coming back to his apartment complex....weirder still was what greeted him here.

He barely made it to the stair well before he saw a young woman crying in the halls, talking with the police. He recognized the woman, if only a little, recalling her and her teenage son living on the first floor. He would see them in passing from time to time but didn't know them as well as he could've. It stunned him to see her crying so hard....it stunned him more to see a picture of her son in her arms. Was he missing? Gods, he hoped not. That boy was sweet, if not obviously hormonal as all hell and angry with himself as most teens are. He didn't know much about the boy, only that he was in his second year of high school and was looking to travel to America for University. Only reason he knew about that was the awkward passing by conversations he would have with his mother when he left for work in the mornings.

But it was still strange. He didn't think things were bad enough to where the boy would run away. Perhaps he was...well...snatched up by someone.

And that thought left a sour taste in Sonos mouth, thinking back (when he really tried not to) to when Chino almost took him from his family. He had a strange plan about it and everything. He hoped to whatever God existed that the boy was in fact safe...and that'd he'd come home soon.

Without making himself obvious, he walked up the stairs and made it home without issue, jumped in the shower, plugged his phone into his charger on his desk and now he was stuck with debating whether or not he wanted to buckle down and work or crawl into bed and dream about Seiji for the billionth time.

He groaned as the choice was obvious....he really needed to get back to work.

Bare feet padded to the desk and a loud, exaggerated sigh left his lips as he sat in his chair, leaning his head back and stared at the ceiling. He could feel the backs of his hair gently flowing over the edge of his chair....it was getting rather long these days. Maybe he should cut it...nah, he liked his hair this way and it seemed Seiji did too, given how often he liked to run his hands through it or pull it when they got physical.

His fingers came up to twirl his bangs for a moment, eyes sad as he caught the glow from his lights on his locks. It was far too quiet here, the clock ticking on his wall seemed louder than he remembered and it actually felt chilly....like his air conditioner was cranked all the way up.

Work should've been at the top of his list of things to do, but it was honestly so far in the back that Sono didn't seem to care. He didn't want to disappoint his fans, but god damn, he knew from the moment he sat down that he wasn't going to be able to focus as well as he'd like. All his notes and sketches were piled neatly at the top of his desk, so it wasn't like he'd be going in with no inspiration.

He closed his eyes for a moment, fingers still twirling in his hair, thinking about how his newest chapters were going to go. The book was almost finished, maybe 3 or 4 chapters left, but his work was always longer than it needed to be so he was looking at a little more over 70 pages left. That and he had been building up suspense for a passionate sex scene near the end with the two leads, so he really needed to get this done.

His free hand felt around for one of his pens, spinning it in his fingers as he mulled the scenes in his head for a moment longer, trying to pick up where he had left off. Last he checked his notes, he had left his lead female character waiting for her love interest in an inn somewhere in the village they were staying at, with the idea of meeting up with someone who could talk sense into her suicide mission that was, as he put it, 'mending the broken relationship she had with herself.' And last he had drawn, her love interest walked in from the harsh snow with a man in tow, someone that made her eyes widen and tears form in her eyes. No dialogue was written yet, but Sono could see the exchange writing itself in his brain along with the actions, the man coming up to the woman, hands in her long brown hair and whispered with a sad smile,

_"'You keep growing your hair out like this, people are gonna start thinking you're a girl'"_

The pen in Sonos hand dropped to the carpet and his eyes shot open, completely unprepared for that specific sentence that suddenly popped into his head. And it wasn't even the sentence that he had preparing to jot down...he heard his voice so clearly in his head....that deep tone laced with sarcasm and care...that was a voice he hadn't thought of in a while, if he were being honest.

The fingers that played with his hair stopped and that hand settled on his shirt, eyes still wide at the ceiling, but softened as he gripped the fabric on his chest, feeling his heart pound against his ribs. He remembered that day....the day he stood in his bathroom with a pair of scissors in his hands all because SOMEONE had to make a snide comment about how long his hair was getting. But he remembered how soft the hand that felt his locks was, the loving look in his eyes and Sono could even remember the joy he felt whenever he looked into those brown orbs, like they hadn't seen each other in ages even through they lived together for all his young life.

"Oto...Nii-san..."

Finally, Sono felt the motivation to sit up right in his chair, blood slowly draining from his head and he sighed, elbows resting on the surface of his desk and his hands now buried in his hair. For all the hardship and faces Sono put on throughout his years in middle school and high school....he couldn't deny that if it hadn't been for his brother, things may not have ended as...well...easily was a loose word, but it was the only thing he could think of.

He and Oto were always looking out for each other, perhaps the latter more so than himself. His older brother was his rock for years, long before Takeo and Naoki ever came into his life and he felt stupid into thinking he could just ignore the feelings for as long as he had. Oto told him everything...Sono was the first person who knew about Oto and Miyuki's engagement years ago and was the first to know about his acceptance into the high end University he had sought after since grade school.

Oto was Sonos first real friend in his life, family aspect aside, and knew that no matter what, they could trust each other....or so he thought. The traitor that his brain was sent him back to the first weekend in University in Tokyo...how they fought and and yelled at each other, how Oto hit him across the face in a blind rage and how a 17 year old Sono refused to talk about it afterwards.... since then, he hadn't seen or contacted his brother or any member of his family. He couldn't bring himself to put that burden on them. He was already too ashamed of himself. He was certain that Oto was ashamed of him as well. Their fight had been horrible, so much that Miyuki had to come break them apart. Tears were shed from both of them and nothing more was said when Sono packed his weekend things and took a cab back to the dorms.

He cried the whole way there and apologized to his roommates when he returned, both of them concerned and worried but didn't say anything else.

For 15 years, Sono hadn't retained any contact with his family and it seemed that now, 15 years later and of fucking course life had to remind him of the good and the bad times they all shared...Sono found himself....missing his brothers comfort.

He missed the way Oto would embrace him after coming home from cram school or working with their father, the way he'd cup the back of his neck and kiss his face, eager to tell him all about his day and hear about his brothers. He missed how understanding Oto was (or used to be, maybe)...like...like how he sought him out after he discovered his relationship with Takeo and just wanted to bring him home.

Above all else...he missed knowing just how much Oto really loved him and wasn't afraid to show it. His baby brother was his life back then and Oto would fight (and more than likely kill) anyone who came between them. It must've been why he liked Naoki so much. Oto only had one request when it came to the relationship Sono had with Naoki and that was to get tested; a reasonable one considering they had obviously been physical with each other.

Sono couldn't help but think and wonder how Seiji would fall into Oto's opinions. Would they like each other? Would Oto see Seiji as just another person to come and go in his life? Or would he understand that Seiji was protecting his brother and have the same visions of Naoki but to Seiji instead?

The blond groaned; his head was pounding and his work was going no where right now. With a heavy sigh through his nose, he pushed his papers away, scooting closer to his desk and rested his head on his arms, eyes staring at nothing but his phone, which was flashing, indicating several missed messages.

He sighed again, already knowing they were probably emails from his publisher, demanding to know where he was and when his pages would be in. He could respond to them later; he didn't have the mindset to care about work right now anyways.

Though...something else did come across his mind and it made him sit up a little, eyes now glancing at his laptop sitting on his couch...not to mention he heard Yakura's voice in his head from months ago, explaining their current situation and how a certain piece of information hit Sono like a brick..

_""We're funded by the Tokyo branch of T.K.H Law. I'm sure you're familiar with the V.P. Of operations...Hanasaki Oto?""_

Work be damned. Sono needed to see this for himself.

He shot up from his desk and walked over to his couch, phone in hand (barely charged) and sat down. Once he settled, he set his computer in his lap and booted it up, crossing his legs under him and gulped down the nerves he was feeling in his throat. He was really about to do this.

Once his computer officially was running, he pulled up his browser and without even hesitating, he typed into the search bar,

'T.K.H Law new V.P.'

Almost immediately, he was bombarded with numerous articles all about his fathers business, talking about the newest member of the leadership team....his brother.

Sono was not all that knowledgeable of the company his great grandfather started, simply knowing that it offered a wide range of jobs going from lawyers, officers, whatever was needed to keep people safe. He didn't try to make an effort to understand, but he did enjoy visiting the building his father worked at when he was younger. Every employee knew the members of their bosses family and always made their visit comfortable....especially Henia...and wow...oh wow, Sono couldn't help but smile at the memory of his fathers assistant....or rather, his and Otos unofficial babysitter when the need arose.

Scrolling through the articles a few times made Sono think about how excited he was as a kid whenever his mother would take him and his brother to the company and surprise their father with spontaneous visits, how his fathers eyes would light up upon seeing his youngest run into his office and throw himself in his arms. He wondered if his fathers loyal secretary, Hidakina Anna, was still working there. She was super young when he was a kid, probably just out of high school and could only guess that she started working there on account of her own father, who pushed her to work her way up and had since become his fathers first person contact next to Henia.

It astonished him how much he actually remembered from those days and couldn't help but grin at every memory he had of him and Oto playing hide and seek in such a huge building. How people working in the accounting departments would always find them first and scold them before sending them back up to the top floor.

So many memories....each of them seemingly better than the last and just as Sono felt like turning off his computer and bask in his own stupid thoughts, an article caught his eye....

_**'Fukushima based company welcomes newest leader in Tokyo division. Video interview included'** _

Jackpot.

The site took a couple seconds to load and when it did, a video showed up on screen, the thumbnail blurry and Sono gathered his courage for a moment before taking a deep breath, clicking play on the video, turning his volume up. His phone next to him flashed with an incoming call, but his eyes were fixed onto the screen of his computer, watching the video buffer before it started. The top corner of the video showed a time stamp of August the 15th, 3 years ago. Sono tilted his head and chuckled loudly to himself.

Because of course Oto would be 'sworn in' on his own birthday. Over achiever.

The start of the video was pretty slow, a few reporters asking questions to the soon to be former V.P., but that's not what caught his attention.

Standing next to the podium was none other than his father and his brother. It almost...shocked him to his core at how alike they looked to some degree. His heart fell into his stomach at the realization and reminder that he had not seen them in 15 years. And this video wasn't even that old...they could easily look this way now and...they were both unbelievably handsome.

Finally, it came time for the former V.P to step down from the podium and welcome his successor, a man who quote 'worked from the ground up as a child to earn a place next to his father. No one deserves this more than the young man before us.'

Sono watched with trained eyes as his brother took the podium, eyes beaming behind his glasses and cleared his throat, obviously trying to figure out with question to answer first as they came in like bullets.

Finally, his hand pointed to a woman at the front, who asked a pretty basic question 'What do you plan on doing to move the Tokyo division forward' followed up with 'Do you have people to thank for your growing success?'

The area grew silent and even Sono felt himself growing anxious at hearing his brothers voice....he hadn't heard it in so long. He watched as Oto opened his mouth to answer...his voice was still as deep and as caring as it always had been.

'"I plan on doing what my father has done since I was a child, what his father had done before him and what his fathers father had done. This company strives to protect the people and assist in newer ways to make that a reality. My goal as the CEO of the Tokyo division and as the V.P of all operations is, at this time, to push forward into a new cause of thought. I have one plan already on the papers, but it'll take some time to truly work with the police to make it happen. It's nothing that concerns our current discussion, mind you, but it is more on a personal note than a professional one, though I plan to take the most reliable of routes possible so as not to cause harm to anyone involved.'

The area was buzzing with follow up questions and from his seat on the couch, Sono felt his heart drop lower, not that he really thought about it much. The words that came from Otos lips sounded so official and so soothing, yet so powerful and authoritative....much like how their father would speak to people at work.

He had a pretty good feeling he knew what this 'plan on the paper' thing was, given how serious Oto looked as he brought it up and somehow, that warmed Sonos blood just a little bit, to think that his brother had been working on hunting down a madman even before he became a true leader. Perhaps it was something else, who knows, but the fact that Oto still did what he did was enough for Sono to feel just a little bit better about it.

Then, in the video, Oto raised his hand to silence everyone and answered his follow up question. It was the usual; he thanked his parents for being so supportive growing up and pushing him on the right path. He thanked his father especially for being such a perfect mentor as an adult, preparing him for this next stage of his life. He thanked his wife, Miyuki, for always standing by him even when they couldn't be with each other during the hardest of times. He thanked the wonderful staff of the Tokyo division and the former V.P, for being so patient with him, teaching him the true meaning of working for the Hanasaki family even though he himself was a member of said family. It was all basic stuff and Sono didn't really expect much else.

Then...then Otos face changed into something akin to sadness, a smile across his cheeks and a glimmer of love in his eyes that Sono recognized almost instantly.

'"There is....one other person I'd like to thank for all this, because I know, in the deepest pits of my heart, I wouldn't have gotten this far if it wasn't for him. And whether or not he sees this is irrelevant. I want him to know how much his support meant to me growing up the way we did...this person has been my biggest supporter for many years, my most trusted friend and the best source of inspiration a man could ask for. I...I know we haven't spoke in years...I place the blame on myself for that even if I know he'll think different. But if it wasn't for him, I never would've had the drive to get this far and just knowing how he'd look at me now, I know for a fact that he'd want me to push myself to be the best I've ever been, professionally and personally...I know he's had his own success and there are no words to describe how proud we all are of him...even if he doesn't believe it. I've been his biggest fan for a long time, though I think my father here would rival that claim.

**laughter from crowd**....

Above everyone else, he's my biggest supporter. He always has been. And I'll always be his biggest fan and his best friend no matter what. And...I guess...I just want to tell him that I miss him. And that I want to thank him for everything he's done. He doesn't realize it, but he's a bigger part of this company than we ever thought imaginable....I miss you, Giardino...thank you. That's all we have time for...excuse me.'"

Oto had quickly stepped down from the podium and walked passed his father...who had a smile on his face and had quickly wiped something from his eye...then the video stopped, leaving the apartment in silence once again.

The ticking of the clock above his head seemed louder than ever, only challenged with the pounding of his heart locked in his chest. The article still up on the screen with the timed out video, words starting to blur together and drops of water fell onto his hands, hitting the keys and dripping down his cheeks.

It took Sono a solid moment to realize he was crying...it took him an even longer moment to understand why he was crying. His hands moved as though he was on auto pilot, wiping his eyes and a hard smile gracing his features, almost in disbelief. This video was posted 2 years ago and up until this very second, Sono was under the impression that his brother was ashamed of him from how they left things 15 years ago.

Their fight still very fresh in his head, as most of his memories were these days, and here he just watched his older brother tell the entire news network, whoever the hell was recording the interview, his new staff....their father....that he missed his baby brother. How he was proud of him...how the family was proud of him...that last look on his fathers face before the video stopped...it looked as though he was wiping a tear away. His father rarely ever cried and when he did, it was always because of something absolutely important to him.

The day he found out his girlfriend was pregnant...the day Oto was born...the day he and his wife found out she was pregnant again...the day Sono was born...the night of Sonos graduation...all moments where Kenji would cry, show his true amount of love and feelings for his family, his sons, everything up to now and suddenly the blond had realized quickly just how badly he messed up.

He lived his adult life thinking his family hated him...was ashamed of what he had become...did they even know about what his life was like after leaving? Did they know that Hanasaki Sono was branded as a whore in his professional community? Had they any inkling of an idea how badly he hurt himself over the years because of his own inner turmoil? How much did they actually know about him since that night?

_Get in touch with them...._

_Your mother loves you..._

_Your brother, I know for a fact, worries about you..._

_Your father misses you the most..._

_Will you try...somewhere down the line...._

Seijis words all muddled into his head and after a long, thoughtful pause among himself, Sono smiled. If they knew anything about his life up to this point, he had an idea that it wouldn't matter. If nothing else, they'd be happy he moved on from it, happy that he had someone in his life to make him feel loved and special. His mother would be over the moon to hear her youngest sons voice again, to hear that he was well and healthy (of sorts). His brother would more than likely scold him for being away for so long, but he'd mask that with a sarcastic tone, apologize for something Sono was sure wasn't his fault...would his father cry for him again? He wasn't sure, but the end result would more than likely be Sono in tears talking to his family again, wanting to tell them he truly did miss and love them and tell them how sorry he was for being gone for as long as he had been.

Maybe today was that day. It seemed like the stars were aligning to make this happen...maybe he could work his way up...call his mother first. He was pretty sure their home number was the same and if it wasn't, he could call his brother, deal with that monster and get her contact from him. He'd save his father for last...it had to be that way. There were still open wounds and tension between them....he knew that and he knew that his father knew it too.

Sono felt so excited as he finally turned to reach for his phone, wanting to call his mother and catch up with her, hear her voice, tell her how things had been going and vice versa. When he gripped it and flipped it open, his excitement vanished instantly at the newest text he had received....from Seiji...about 10 minutes ago...

_Text SMS: Seiji <3_

_''Hey, I don't know if you read the newest article, but something happened at your apartment complex while you were here. Is everything ok? Did you notice anything weird when you got home?''_

If that wasn't a cause for concern, which it certainly was now, Sono peered through his other missed activity and noticed several missed calls....from Yakura and Oishi of all people. When he thought several, however, it seemed like they had been desperately trying to reach him for the last 15 minutes.

Suddenly more alert now than ever, Sono bolted to his feet and tried so hard to wrack his brain together. He had only been settled at home for no more than 45 minutes, hadn't really thought to look around the place as a shower was his first priority upon coming inside.

His grip on his phone tightened as he tried to think of something to respond with, knowing that if he didn't respond now, Seiji would lose his mind with worry. But he also knew that if something did happen while he was gone, then he needed to take a look around properly before giving his boyfriend a reason to freak out.

With a sigh, he took the long trek from his couch to his bedroom, opening the door and peered around, not seeing anything out of place. His bed was made, just as he left it and the closet door was closed...nothing seemed to be wrong.

But it was only when Sono turned around to walk back to the living room did his mind catch up with him, freezing in his steps as he remembered the night he left for Seijis place. He had been in such a hurry that he threw his closet door open to grab his suit and a change of clothes, practically ripped his phone charger from his nightstand and bolted out the door...

He never remembered closing his closet door....or his bedroom door for that matter.

Panic rose in his throat for a moment as he turned to walk back into the bedroom and make a beeline for his closet, eyeing the handle and felt his breath hitch when he saw...red streaks on the closet handle.

Ok....

Ok, there could be plenty of explanations for that. Sono could've been using a red pen for something (lies) and it could've leaked onto his hand (denial). He could've used that same hand to open his closet (he never closes his closet door) and didn't see the streaks he left on the handle (Sono doesn't use red pens for anything).

Or, another decent explanation...(stop kidding yourself)

Sono had a weird craving for strawberry treats lately (strawberry foods are often pink, idiot) and maybe one of them melted on his fingers (keep telling yourself that) and maybe he went into his closet to grab a towel or an old shirt (once again, he never closes his closet door) to wipe his hands with.

Yeah...yeah those seemed plausible...they had to be.

(You KNOW why it's closed...SOMETHING is in there)

Sono shook his head, willing the thoughts out of his mind and gripped the closet handle, taking in a deep breath and felt his entire arm suddenly get heavy, more so his wrist. He couldn't move it; he tried to get the feeling back into his arm, but something was stopping him.

He grew irritated and shook his head again, not wanting to succumb to such stupid paranoia now and just wanted to ease his worries. So he tried to move his hand again.

This time, a voice in his ear and his blood went cold.

.

.

.

.

.

_'Don't open the door....call Seiji...get out of this place...you need to leave...'_

  
  


Everything in Sonos body locked up for several seconds, trying to piece together what the hell he just heard...

That voice...that tone of worry and anger and fear...the feeling on his wrist suddenly didn't feel heavy anymore...now it just felt cold.

Really cold.

Taking a second to regain his senses, Sono shut his eyes and shook his head again, unwilling to believe for a moment that....that HE was here with him. He couldn't be...not after so long...not after 15 years....

His fingers gripped the handle tighter, telling himself he was crazy and that this was all in his head, that nothing was wrong, nothing was here, he was alone and he could just be going stir crazy. It happened before. He could handle it again.

Opening his eyes, he scowled and found the movement in his hand and arm once again. His other hand pressed against the wall next to the door, ready to just swing the door open. Taking in another breath, forcing away his paranoia, Sono squeezed the handle, throwing open his closet door,

.

.

.

.

_'Sono, stop!'_

_._

_._

_._

  
  


....and everything in the blonds body went cold like death. Scowl gone, eyes wide and face paling in horror.

At first, it was the smell that hit him quickly, knocking him back against the floor. His entire closet REEKED of stale copper, sweat and other smells he couldn't pinpoint off the top of his head. But when he bypassed that, he took a second to really look inside his closet and...well...his heart sunk.

The only way to truly describe what he was looking at was like that out of a shrine...blown up pictures stapled to the inner walls of his closet, a small mantel which only had a framed picture sitting atop of it...the only picture now that was branded in Sonos head. It also took him a moment to register the blood splatters all inside his closet, his clothes ruined and pushed to the side to make room for this...this...what ever this was.

But it wasn't even just the picture that caught his eye....next to it, sitting neatly on a hanger, was a school uniform...a tattered school uniform...with blood stains all over it...and what looked to be small holes on the chest and...in the bottom of the blazer.

It did not take a genius to find out whose uniform this belonged to...Sonos heart stopped altogether. Or at least it would have if his breathing suddenly didn't short out first. He couldn't find his voice for a second, mouth gaping as he tried to properly collect his bearings.

Except there were no bearings. Just the sight of a bloody uniform in front of him...pictures with faces ripped or cut out all over his walls...a familiar photo sitting on a mantel...one face ruined with black marker...the other face circled with a heart....the stench of stale blood hit him like a brick to the face....a reminder of that day...the uniform mocking him...

_'...He's mine....and you hurt him...'_

_'No one touches him but me! I'll make you pay! **I'll MAKE YOU FUCKING PAY** '_

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_'I'll make this quick babe....don't you worry...say hello to Naoki for me.'_

  
  


Sono let out a blood curdling scream, the sound bouncing off the walls as he shuffled to his feet, running from his bedroom and to his desk, immediately in search for his inhaler, feeling his breathing becoming more and more labored as he practically threw his desk drawer out, seeing his lighter and cigarettes fly out, along with his notepads and memos for work....he froze...his inhaler was missing.

He knew he didn't pack it when he left for Seijis place...and if it wasn't in his usual spot where he always kept it...where he kept it every day, every refill for 10 years...then someone else had it...

His vision was starting to spot out; no amount of breathing exercises could help him here. His panic and his stress had hit a high he hadn't felt in years. His eyes locked to his phone...

Seiji...he had to to call him..he needed him...

Crawling over to where he dropped his phone, he opened it with shaking hands and froze at the notification of a video message from an unknown number. Against his better judgment, he hit read on the message and watched the video load. The caption said it best as he played the video without even thinking.

_Text SMS: Unknown_

_"Looking for something?"_

Sono watched in horror as a black boot crushed his inhaler in a matter of seconds, the video only being 3 seconds long. In those 3 seconds, a huge wave of nausea hit the blonds stomach like a rock, only...he couldn't move. His horrified eyes continued to watch the loop of a random shoe crushing the thing he needed to breath right when he was having panic attacks like this.

Then, another notification came in...this time a picture...from the same unknown number. He didn't need to wait for the picture to load as once he saw it, he pressed his hand to his mouth, holding back vomit that quickly rose in his throat.

The picture was a little blurry, but it was obviously taken the night of the festival....focused on the edge of a boat...a shot of two men kissing passionately....two men that Sono quickly recognized as himself....and....Seiji.

A text came underneath the picture, simply stating,

_Text SMS: Unknown_

_pic.attch_

_Cute guy...would be a shame if something happened to that pretty face of his...don't you agree?_

No longer than another second before Sonos phone started flashing with an incoming call...from the unknown number. The logical part of his brain opted to not answer, but as it stood, nothing about his brain was acting on logic or rational thought. He was scared.

Not even just scared. He was terrified. No where did he think this was going to happen...not this quickly. His worst fear was happening, right now...

And he was alone.

The call was missed and Sono felt himself relax for a second before the call came in again, this time with a text that said,

_Text SMS: Unknown_

_If you know what's good for you...you'll answer the fucking phone._

.

.

.

.

.

_'Don't do it...don't answer it...don't let him win again...get out of here...'_

.

.

.

.

Sono pressed the green button and pressed the phone to his ear, holding his breath in hopes that the person on the other end couldn't hear him. He didn't say a word, didn't make a sound...he didn't even need to.

_"Well well well....it seems as thought fate has graced us both with a little piece of nostalgia...wouldn't you agree, babe?"_

The blonds breath hitched in his throat, gulping down his nerves and his troubled breathing forgotten as he exhaled a shaken breath, whispering,

"How...how did you find me?"

_"Did you really think after 15 years, I lost all track and tabs on you? Oh sweetie....not a chance. If anything, I've been following your career with great....interest, if you could put it that way."_

It did little to ease Sonos concerns, as panicked as they were, but that could be interpreted in a bunch of different ways.

Sono could only guess that he meant not just his actual career...but his personal life as well. His eyes widened in horror once more...that would mean that...

_"The rumor mill in Tokyo was certainty abuzz when a certain manga-ka was claimed to be such a promiscuous slut. And I was honestly surprised that it followed you all the way to Osaka of all places...and that stupid idea that you're a woman? Do you not get out much, babe? Are you that pathetic that you can barely show your face to people, knowing what they know?"_

A laugh was heard on the other end; Sono bit back the urge to puke on his living room floor, not wanting to think back to that life. That wasn't him anymore. He moved on from that. He didn't subject himself to the pain and the sickening feeling of regret he'd feel every night anymore. He was free from that.

_"Quite honestly, I'm shocked to see that you were locking lips with some hot stud on the river last week. You know, I almost didn't think it was you. But something deep down told me that I had finally found you. After 15 years, I found you. And even after everything we went through....you forgot something important, Sono....tell me....do you remember what that was?"_

No.

He didn't because he refused to think about it. He didn't want to think about it.

But of course the universe was always against him...he already had a hard enough time recalling all these events to Seiji and now...now he was faced with saying it again...he recalled the look of horror and disgust on the younger mans face when he said those last words.

He couldn't begin to imagine the sickening smile Takeo had as he couldn't even stop his own lips from moving,

"That...that...that if you couldn't have me...no one could..."

The rock that settled in Sonos stomach suddenly exploded. With a loud gag, the blond vomited on his floor, his free hand now on his stomach to try and ease the pressure in his gut. He cried, hard, but couldn't make any other noises when more and more bile came out of his mouth.

He could hear Takeo laughing viciously over the phone; he could see the dark smirk on his face. There was a weird shuffling in the background and every so often, Takeos breath would hitch. The sudden thought that came across Sonos brain as to what Takeo was doing only made him gag more, adding to the mess he was now kneeling in.

As he started to calm down (that's a laugh), he heard Takeo chuckle into the receiver, saying,

_"Ohhh baby, have I missed you. Not a day that went by did I ever stop thinking of what I was going to do to you when I found you. And now I have....and now you and I get to have some fun. And before you even think of talking back, let me remind you that I know where you live, been inside your home, which by the way, you keep a pretty clean apartment ahaha, at least you used to, huh...I know where you work and I have a pretty good idea of what your little lover looks like....don't think for a second that I won't dig a little deeper into his life just to fuck with yours."_

Sonos entire body felt wretched. From his lips to his chin was coated in drool and vomit, eyes glassy and skin trembling wildly. There was a loud dinging noise in his ear from his phone....he couldn't remember for the life of him what that dinging meant. He head was pounding, along with his lungs and his stomach, which felt like it had more to give.

But outside of all that, the pain he was in and how scared he was....he caught the tail end of what Takeo had just said...there was an icy chill behind him, he could feel it...and he suddenly got angry.

At what, he wasn't sure. Takeo for certain, but the cold air around him just made him more and more infuriated.

He couldn't help the roar that rose from his torn throat, a mix of anger and fear and resentment, years of pent up fury all into one snap,

"YOU STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM HIM, YOU BASTARD! IF YOU EVEN LOOK AT HIM, I SWEAR I'LL KILL YOU MYSELF! YOU ALREADY TOOK NAOKI FROM ME! I WON'T LET YOU TAKE ANYONE ELSE THAT I LOVE!"

.

.

.

.

.

_'I'm so sorry....'_

_._

_._

_._

_._

_"Who the **FUCK** do you think you are, you whore. You think that just because the police are here to hunt me down means that you have the gall to threaten me?! Don't make me fucking laugh. I've evaded the cops for years. Literal years, Sono. And it doesn't make it any easier for you that your own fucking brother is funding these guys...if anything...that makes it worse for you...because now I know what to do when I carve that pretty little heart right from your chest....I wonder...I wonder how your daddy will react if I sent him your heart, wrapped nicely in a baggie...you know, I almost did that with the heart of the kid who lived in your building. He looked a lot like you when we were that age. It was like I was living my teenage fantasy. He struggled a lot, like I pictured you would do..but he was rather compliant after a while.... and I almost left his heart for you, Sono...but you're beneath such a generous gift."_

The kid who lived in his building....

The woman who was crying in the stairwell...holding his picture...

....No....

.....No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no.....

_"And that's only the beginning. I have so many things to show you when you and I finally meet again. Years and years of bountiful prey that all reminded me of you...because you've always been on my mind, babe. And I plan to bring us together again. Just you wait. It'll be worth the 15 years we've spent apart....I'm looking forward to it, Sono....see you soon."_

....Click....

The line went dead.

S

l

i

i

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p

His phone crashed to the hard floor after it slipped from his sweaty palm, barely missed the pile of vomit he was still sitting. Eye wide, blood shot, flowing with tears and staring into nothing...

Sono felt nothing....numb from the neck down. His panic attack had suddenly shifted into something he had never felt before in his life. He could breath, but couldn't at the same time. His skin was trembling and he felt sweaty...a cold sweat, it seemed.

He ended up leaning back enough to sit properly on his butt, but his legs were asleep, knees coated in vomit and his fingers scratched against the floor. His mind had completely shut down; everything around him seemed distant and dark. He had curled in on himself, dirty knees to his chest and arms wrapped around his body, trembling and was losing his ability to think clearly. 

When he opened his mouth, he couldn't even hear his own voice; it didn't even register that he was talking into the air. It sounded weaker...feeble and frightened...he was only able to get out a few words before his vocals completely went mute. 

"D...Daddy...Nii-san...m-momma...someone...anyone....Seiji..."

His hearing went out for a moment, only a loud ringing in his ears as the world seemed to get darker. And it was only when he vaguely heard banging from behind him that it seemed to come back together, turning ever so slightly to watch the knob on his front door jiggle rapidly before the sound of keys was faintly noticed.

The door burst open and everything seemed to move in fast forward. There was a loud "Shit!" followed by another voice saying "Hanasaki-san, are you alright?!"

Sono left himself for a while...he couldn't bare to witness the looks of horror all over Seiji and Yasudas faces.

Neither man was expecting anything like this when they came to the apartments. They had both just beat the police and Yakura here, with Seiji pleading that he see if he's alright before any cops start showing up at his door. Yakura had almost said no, but Seiji had ran up the stairs without him, Yasuda following close behind as they made it to the door, pounding on it before Seiji pulled out his spare key.

And....well....

Seiji bolted over to where the blond was, gasping loudly at the sight of the man sitting in his own vomit and a vacant look all over his face. When Seiji got to his knees next to him, both hands cupped his clammy face and Seiji could not stop the verbal stew that flew from his mouth.

"Sono, my god, what the hell happened!? Are you alright?! Everyone's been trying to get a hold you and fuck, we assumed the worst! How long have you been like this!? Why didn't you answer my calls?! Why didn't-"

Seiji suddenly stopped his rambling, already seeing that Sono was not at all listening to him, wasn't even truly looking at him...with a gasping cry, Seiji pulled his love in tightly against his chest, holding him and cried into his hair,

"I was worried...oh god, I was so worried about you. I had this sinking feeling that something was wrong, but I didn't think that...Sono, look at me. What happened? Was he here? Oh please, tell me he wasn't here when you got home."

In the haze that was Sonos mind, eyes barely looking at anything as Seiji held him tightly. Though, he did see Yakura walk in at that exact moment, followed by Oishi and several other officers. From behind him, down the hallway, he heard Yasuda say, out loud and in disbelief,

"What the hell is all of this?"

which prompted the officers into the blonds bedroom...Yakura let out an angry sounded "Fuck..."

Seiji didn't need to ask what they found there; bits and pieces were being pulled out in evidence bags and when he saw the uniform...it clicked. His hand wove into Sonos hair, protectively cradling him to his chest and whispered,

"Don't look."

Sono couldn't get his vision to work even if he wanted to.

\--

Over the course of another hour, Seiji and Yasuda both helped Sono out of the apartment and outside to the nearest bench to get him some air after getting him changed into clean clothes from his dresser....avoiding his closet altogether. Officers had taped off the area and were still gathering evidence from the home.

Sono still hadn't said a word.

Seiji had tried to get the man to look at him, but he seemed so out of it. His eyes were unfocused and his breathing was short, like he was having troubles getting his lungs to function. And even if he could focus, he wouldn't want to see the scared look Seiji had in his own eyes.

"Sono, please. Talk to me. You're scaring the hell out of me....please. At least look at me. Fuck, Yasuda, what do I do?"

Yasuda, who was sitting on the other side of the blond, had his hand rested gently on his shoulder, eyes trained on such a pale face that looked numb and emotionless. There was still the stain of bile on his chin, he reeked and needed a shower badly.

But the man could see how scared his friend was and in turn, he was scared too. It had been a long time since he had to dig deep into his knowledge and how to handle situations like this...he said once that Sono trusted him enough to even use his name...perhaps...he could trust him with helping him with his not so clear sense of subspace.

Taking a deep breath, he gripped Sonos hand in his and said, clearly,

"Sono, I want you to look me in the eyes. Can you do that for me?"

Seiji jumped at the sharp tone in his friends voice, even more so when he caught Yasuda glaring at him, speaking with his eyes. Then he turned his attention back to the blond, gripping his hand tighter and said,

"It's alright. You're with friends, Sono, you can trust me. Can you turn your head and look at me?"

Finally...after a brief moment of panicked silence, the blond slowly turned his head to face the other man, who smiled softly and patted his hand, immediately jumping back into his words.

"Good boy. That's right. You're safe right now. No one's gonna hurt you while you're with us. I'm going to ask you some questions and I want you to answer them as honestly as you can...can you do that for me? Tap your finger against my hand once for yes and twice for no, three times if you're not sure. And if you want to nod or shake your head, that works too."

Another pause and Seiji peered down to see the blonds ring finger tap against Yasudas hand once. He could see his friend look down too to confirm that...that's when they both noticed the ring on Sonos finger and Seiji inwardly cursed at himself.

Yasuda, for his part, glanced at the ring for a second before looking at Seiji, knowing this was another talk they'd have to have later when things weren't so pressing. With a sigh, he turned his attention back to the blond and said,

"These are going to be simple yes or no questions. This is just so I can tell if you're still HERE with us, if you catch my meaning...If I end up asking you something that's too much for you, grip Yamadas hand and grip it tight. Use him as your stress ball, so to speak. Ready?"

The blond nodded slowly, eyes not leaving Yasudas face, even if he wasn't truly lookin at him. The other man sighed softly and patted his hand before gripping it again, taking a deep breath...

And began.

"First question. Is your full name Hanasaki Sono?"

A moment of pause before Yasuda felt the tap of a slim finger on his hand. He smiled.

"Good...second question. Is your current occupation a manga-ka?"

Another tap on his hand and Yasuda smiled bigger. This was a good start. Ok, Sono was still mentally aware of himself....that was good. Trauma can often lead to disassociation and Yasuda was afraid that that was where the blonds head was. Though, it was still too early to tell...he glanced down at the ring on the blonds finger and tilted his head, brain already brewing with questions about it.

He could tell that his own friend wasn't expecting to see it, much less address it...that was for another time. He could ask Seiji his questions later when things weren't so heavy. So instead, he studied the gem on the ring for a few seconds, trying to figure out what it was...then his brain connected it to an opal gem...a birthstone...he smiled as he looked back up at Sono, saying softly,

"Ok, next question..is your birthday in October? Tap with your finger the amount of days if you feel I should know that."

This time, Sono nodded slowly, then proceeded to tap slowly on Yasudas hand several times. It took the man a couple of tries in his head to count the amount of times the blonds tapped him, but once it stopped, he counted again and grinned.

"Ok...October 14th, right? That's great. Your birthday's in a few months then...we'll have to celebrate when it comes around...Ok, take a breath...next question. Is your boyfriends name Yamada Seiji?"

There was a feeling of joyful pride coursing through Yasudas body as a creep of a small smile made it's way to the blonds face. Like...like hearing that name was enough to bring him closer back. When Sono nodded, smile still small, Yasuda scooted closer and used his free hand to point to the other man in question...who had been quiet this entire time, his own brown eyes never leaving his lovers face.

"Good. Good. Very good. You're aware he's holding your hand, right? You know he loves you and wants to help you. I want to help you too. Just take a deep breath. You ready for one more question? It's going to seem intrusive, but I promise we'll help you through it."

Another pause and a slow nod from the man in front of him. Yasuda took one more deep breath and gripped the blonds hand tight, looking right into his glassy eyes. No turning back from here.

"Ok...ok...Sono...was someone in your apartment while you were gone? Someone who wants to hurt you? If so...can you give me a clue who?"

It was like a slow burning bomb.

The small smile that was on Sonos face was wiped clean within seconds. His eyes widened and Yasuda could feel the tremble of his skin under his hand. Even through the chaos of the police running around them, Yasuda was able to hear the hitch in the blonds breathing, labored and struggling to keep up. His eyes sharpened behind his glasses as he shot a look to his friend, who immediately understood and pulled Sono back towards him, cupping his face with both hands and kissed his forehead, cooing into his skin,

"Shh shh love, it's alright. I've got you. You don't have to answer. It's ok....it's going to be ok. Breath with me, you're alright."

Yasuda, at first, had to commend Seiji for being so calm throughout this entire night. But...that was a ruse. He knew it, Seiji knew it and he was damned sure Sono knew it too.

Seiji was fucking petrified right now. The look on his face during that phone call was enough to even scare Yasuda for not knowing what was happening. And even when Seiji mentioned that he had to see if his boyfriend was alright...the look in his eyes...he was worried sick. Never had Yasuda seen that look before, until recently anyway, but never thought to question it until this moment. His friend was scared...more scared than he had ever been. The fact that he was putting on a rock solid calm face for his lover only made Yasuda more concerned...but that was a question for another time.

Finally, after a near eternity of listening to the hard breathing that Seiji was trying to calm down with his affections...Sono finally opened his mouth. It came out as a croak.

"...eo..."

Yasuda bristled; Seiji gasped a little, moving closer to his love and said, albeit a little too quickly,

"What was that? Say that again."

Again, the blond opened his mouth, this time speaking a little more clearly, but obviously trying to find the right words to say. His eyes glanced at the bench he was sitting on, tears in his eyes and hands gripping the edges of the wood....he spoke out slowly,

"T...Takeo...he...I..."

His voice was clearly shaken, but he tried so hard to get it out the best that he could. He shook his head rapidly, covering his face with both hands and let out a short scream into his palms. Yasuda knew that trick rather well...it was something people liked to do in order to get their voice to work properly when talking about traumatic events. It wasn't common as most people didn't really think to do that, but those who did often said it helps a lot....the fact that Sono knew to do that only brought up more questions about the man...again...

For another time.

Once he stopped screaming, the blond shot his glance back up to Seiji, who regarded him with an unbelievably shocked stare. It only worsened when Sono started talking again, this time, voice breaking where he felt his throat swell with hysterics.

"Seiji...he was in my apartment...he...put that...those things in my closet...his uniform...N..Naokis uniform...pictures..my inhaler..he crushed my inhaler.....I...I can't...my chest...it hurts..."

He was starting to panic....Seiji was even starting to panic. Whether or not it was what prompted him to pull Sono into a tight hug, whose to say.

The man cooed him gently, running his hand through his hair and kissed where he could, eventually using his free hand to grip around his waist protectively. He pulled Sonos face into the crook of his neck and walked him through his breathing, moving his hand from his yellow hair to grip the hand that was clutching his shirt.

That same hand gently pried it free from his clothes and brought the trembling palm to his lips, kissing softly and Yasuda didn't think he'd seen someone calm down that quickly in his life. It was surreal. He watched as his best friend pressed gentle kisses to the palm of Sonos hand and it was like night and day. The blond stopped shaking and his breathing evened out in moments, almost like a switch had been flipped.

It was quiet for a moment after that, but the elephant in the room was too big to ignore. While the blond rested his head on Seijis shoulder, eyes closed and trying to steady his breathing, Seiji and Yasuda exchanged a glance and both nodded to each other. In an unspoken understanding, the choice was obvious.

With that, Yasuda sighed and stood up, getting the feeling back to his legs and stretched, saying,

"Do you think the police would be ok with me grabbing some things and packing them for him?"

Seiji thought about it for a second, debating whether he should be the one do do it....but Sono was holding onto him so tightly that the idea of separating from him seemed dangerous. He nodded to himself and kissed the top of the blonds head, muttering just loud enough for Yasuda to hear,

"Talk to Yakura and tell him you're with me. He's the one in the gray coat and messed up gray hair. If you can't find him, talk to Oishi, the one in the red shirt. They saw you come up with me so I'm sure they remember you...Plus, it'll be easier that way. We'll wait here for you."

The man didn't even blink. He nodded and turned to walk back towards the apartment, which was now flooded with bystanders and people being questioned. A young woman on the ground floor was on her knees in tears...several people were asking different questions to each other as to what happened. Seiji briefly heard someone mention Takeo's name....he cringed and turned his attention back to the man in his arms, who was looking up at him finally, eyes drained of energy and body lax.

God...it killed Seiji to see him like this.

Without hesitation, he pulled the blond closer in and kissed between his eyes, whispering,

"Love, you're gonna be ok. I promise, you're gonna be ok. I'm moving you in with me until this whole thing ends, got it? I can't afford to leave you alone like this...not when Takeo affects you this much...I won't let him find you. Trust me."

He could feel Sonos body lock up in his embrace and knew what the man was thinking....or getting ready to say. Seiji wouldn't let him. This was getting to be too much and after tonight...

.

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.

.

_'GET...HIM...OUT OF HERE....'_

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.

  
  


After tonight, Seiji had to make his motivations clear. He couldn't leave Sono here or alone at all for that matter. Not for a while. This wasn't the way he wanted to do things...he had wanted to plan some grand proposal for the two of them to move in together at some point, almost like he planned (sort of planned) his marriage proposal...clearly, life had other ideas.

He kissed Sonos head again, wincing when he heard the blond whimper deep in his throat. Breathing deeply through his nose, he whispered into his lovers hair, running his hand over his waist, gripping tightly,

"It'll be alright. We'll head home and get you cleaned up. Maybe get you something to eat if you're hungry. And tomorrow, when you're feeling a little better, we'll get your prescription refilled for your inhaler. I'd rather be safe than sorry in case I'm not there and you lose your breath...Does that sound fine?"

It wasn't like Sono had many other options to consider, Seiji knew that. He could get a hotel room for a while, but his expenses could only cover so much. His bills would pile up due to the costs of a room and the commute to his office could easily be too far to manage. Plus, Seiji wasn't comfortable with not knowing how his boyfriend was handling himself as it was....having Sono alone in a hotel would only make things worse.

It seemed Sono knew that too, given how he gripped onto Seijis shirt and visibly tried to relax, breathing through his nose and the look on his face was tight...like he was thinking hard about his own options.

Then he nodded...and Seiji let out a loud sigh of relief.

\--

It had taken a good 30 minutes to convince Yakura to let the blond leave without giving a statement, though it was clear to every officer on site that the man was in no condition to talk about what had happened. Oishi, going against his superiors orders, helped Yasuda pack a few clothes, the blonds manga supplies and current papers, bathroom needs, his laptop and phone, plus the chargers and loaded what he could into two bags they found in the living room.

Seiji sat outside with Sono the entire time, holding him close and pressed butterfly kisses to his head, trying to ease the mans anxiety. It helped, but not by much. Eventually, Yasuda showed up with the bags and after clearing everything with the police, (and Yakura's annoyance), the three men loaded into a taxi, heading back to Seiji's apartment.

Time moved slowly for a moment; both men helped Sono up the stairs and inside; Immediately, Seiji got the blond into a shower, removing his own shirt to help clean his lover up. Yasuda had left a pair of clothes outside the bathroom and mentioned he would be leaving for just a few minutes.

Seiji didn't bother responding.

Another 30 minutes had passed before Seiji was able to get Sono dressed and in his bed, rubbing his head and tried unbelievably hard to get the blond to sleep. But even someone as clueless as him in situations like this knew that there was so much going through the blonds head...so much had happened in the course of over an hour. Honestly, Seiji would be more shocked if Sono wasn't reacting in such a weird way.

Though, that didn't stop him from worrying. He got down on one knee next to his bed, running his hand over his lovers pale cheek and watched as those tired brown eyes looked at him, full of fear and uncertainty. Seiji hated that look....he hated it more that he could've tried to do something to stop it.

Seiji wanted to say something...anything at all...but Sono had rested his head further against the pillows and closed his eyes tightly, shivering and clenching his body hard...it took Seiji a second to realize the blond was trying not to break down into a panic. Oh god....Seiji had started to panic himself. 

Immediately, Seiji pressed his hand to the blonds head, carding his fingers through his hair and starting pleading,

"No....no, Sono, don't. It's alright. Please don't cry. I've got you now. You're safe. I promise...please don't do this."

Words could only do so much, Seiji realized as well...his heart broke into pieces as he watched Sonos trembling hands cover his face, the faint sound of sobs reaching the young mans ears. He shook his head rapidly and pushed the mans hands away, turning his back to the man and curled up under the blankets, his quiet sobs now full blown hysterics...Seiji was lost. What was he supposed to do?

Should he....should he hold him? Just until he stopped crying? No. Seiji knew that once he held onto his lovers body, he wasn't letting go for anything. But it seemed like that was the last thing Sono wanted. He scooted further into the bed, away from the younger man, still sobbing into the blankets and shivering.

It was cue enough; Seiji knew when to take a hint.

"Ok...I understand...I'll be in the living room if you need me...I love you, Sono. Try and get some rest. We'll talk about this later....when you're up for it. Alright?"

He didn't get a response....but he did get a small nod...that was enough for him.

With a sigh, Seiji got back up to his feet and leaned over to kiss the blonds exposed head, lips lingering against golden hair a little longer than he imagined, before turning to leave his bedroom and quietly shut the door...he winced when he heard a muffled cry from the other side.

Gods, the sound of it was painful, more painful then the gritting of Seijis teeth together. How...how could he let this happen...

While there was no literal way of either of them knowing (email aside, which Seiji stupidly neglected reading until today), he still should've sensed it. The way they held each other just a little longer and their kiss that seemed to bleed into both mens hearts. The way Sono trembled when he had to let him go and watched him walk out of his home...Seiji felt awful.

Things like this shouldn't happen...so why did it happen? And so many more questions burned hard into Seijis head.

For example...how the hell did Takeo find Sonos address? Not many people in the blonds office knew Sono enough to know where he lived, mostly just his publisher and maybe one assistant that kept a vow to never speak of the blonds personal life. What was his name? Seiji couldn't remember.

And then another sour thought crossed Seijis mind as he rested his forehead against the closed bedroom door, listening intently to the sounds of his bed sheets rustling around and his own brain demanding answers...

What if....what if Takeo found Sonos publication office....found that one assistant and.... _forced_ the information from him...

This was bad. This was all sorts of bad and Seiji wasn't sure how to go forward with this. If Takeo was able to get his hands on not only his lovers work address....his home address...oh god, his phone number...what other pieces of information does he have? Was he aware of Seiji's existence? If so, would he be coming for him next?

This wasn't the way things were supposed to go, but Seiji sighed through his nose and wiped his eyes as he felt tears of frustration form behind them. He had to approach this situation carefully, not just for his sake, but primarily for Sono. God only knows what's truly going through his head right now. Things were going smooth with his paranoia and fears and anxieties....now they were about to take two huge steps back.

He had to think....Yakura was probably furious and making all sorts of calls to not only his team....but....oh no.

Seijis eyes snapped open at the realization and sudden reminder of who exactly Yakura and Oishi worked for...Oto. If they relayed this information to Oto tonight...what was going to happen? Seiji had never had the idea to plan for an unexpected appearance from his lovers brother...considering the circumstances....should he start now?

This was too much...he needed to sit down for a while.

With a groan low in his throat, Seiji turned on his feet, away from his bedroom door and gave pause when he saw Yasuda standing in front of him, a dark look on his face. Already, Seiji knew why.

The other man lifted his hand and Seijis eyes shifted to the large bottle of whiskey in his friends hands, the same whiskey that Sono made himself drunk and sick on when they found him terrified and miserable. Granted, this bottle was much bigger and given the look on Yasudas face, Seiji was sure where they were headed next.

Luckily, Yasuda spoke first.

"I have several questions, Yamada....shall we assume the position on the floor again like last time?"

Seiji couldn't help but chuckle at that, knowing that it wasn't meant to be funny, but he couldn't help it...he was tired, stressed and now that he really thought about it, in need of someone to talk to. With his boyfriend mentally and emotionally out of commission for a bit, Yasuda was the next choice for Seiji anyways. Not because he had some experience with things like this (ok, maybe not exactly like this)...but Yasuda was Seijis best friend. And he had seen far too much these days to just keep quiet. He was right from the beginning.

Yasuda deserved answers.

Seiji wiped his eyes again and said through his exhausted huffs of chuckling,

"Grab a few glasses from the shelves and meet me at the table...it's...it's a long story."

  
  



	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, sorry not sorry. 
> 
> *sips my tea cause it's hot and this is what life does to me when I have little time to actually think about things*

_"Can I ask a stupid question...you know...all things considered?"_

_"I suppose so."_

_"What's with the camera? Are you planning to make a snuff film with me as your star?"_

_(a dark grin formed all over his face)_

_"Something like that."_

_\--_

_You'll grow to love it...they almost always do_

  
  


_I'll make you forget you had any pain...._

  
  


His body felt heavy...really heavy.

He couldn't move his arms or his legs; it felt like thousands of pounds were settled on him or inside him. The words of two different men rattled hard in his brain, one sounding rough and thick with the smell of cheap booze on his breath...the other almost soft and gentle, but was quick to become impatient and frightening...both had the sound of lust in their voices...he couldn't get away.

It took him a while to notice he was naked and that there were hands on his chest, gross thumbs twirling around his pink nipple in an attempt to get him to feel something. His vision hurt, along with the rest of him, but his voice seemed non cooperative as he made a strangled protest.

A harsh smack to his face was the result and he gasped, trying to squirm away.

_Ah ah ah, Sono-chan...no struggling now....or do we need to give you some help like last time?_

It was said so quickly, but so close in his ear that he felt his body lock up, a hand grabbing his jaw and forcing it open...fingers...disgusting fingers...pressing against his tongue and pulling it forward...

He felt something tiny and solid being set near the back of his mouth...he almost choked and tried to pull away, but with one hand on his chest, one holding his mouth open and the other forcing something down his throat...he was frozen.

After a few seconds, the fingers release his tongue and his jaw...he was not granted much relief. His body began to lose its strength, his mouth suddenly becoming lax and his brown eyes glassy with unshed tears. He knew what this was...he had felt it when he was 17...he remembered just letting it happen...and now it was happening again...

Both men stepped away from him for a moment before the man with the rough voice gripped the back of his hair, pulling him up and towards his cock, forcing it down his open throat. The man with the impatient voice propped his hips up, getting him on his knees and forced his own cock hard and dry inside the blonds body.

Even drugged and numb all over, Sono felt himself scream...he continued to scream as the two men hammered into him on both ends, tears pouring down his sore cheeks. He could feel he was bleeding, he was holding back vomit and sobbed hard at the realization that he couldn't get free.

He felt hands press against his cheeks, being slapped on one side while the other gripped him gently...almost too gently...he heard his name being called, but he couldn't tell which of them were saying it. The voice sounded so different from them...so...so concerning and...deep...

The blond shut his eyes and waited for the men to finish with him...his cheek was slapped harder and the voice sounded more desperate, worried...he could almost just make out what the voice was saying...if he were guessing right, not that he was in the right mindset anyway...it sounded like the voice was saying...

_Wake up_

Sono weakly opened his eyes, tears coursing down his cheeks....

\--

....and stared up at Seiji's worried face, gasping loudly as he felt the pain of opening his eyes so quickly. He couldn't hear much except for his own breathing, heavy as it was, along with Seijis concerned intakes through his nose.

It took him a moment of shifting his eyes around the room to see he was in bed, in Seiji's bedroom....in his apartment...he gave a shuddering exhale and closed his eyes, relaxing against the pillows before he jumped at the feeling of his cheeks being rubbed.

Oh...that's what he was feeling in his dream. It was Seiji who was lightly smacking his face in an attempt to wake him...well shit...it actually sort of worked.

"Sono, are you alright?"

No, he didn't feel like he was alright, but he wasn't about to convey that just yet. He pressed one of his hands to his chest, feeling how rapid his heart was and struggled to calm down, his skin trembling.

Seiji, in a near panic himself, gripped Sonos hand that was on his chest and moved his free hand up to his lovers hair, moving his bangs out of his face and almost gaped at how hot the blonds forehead felt. He gulped loudly and said, as calm as he could,

"You feel warm...was it another nightmare? How bad was this one? How are you feeling?"

God, the constant questions were giving Sono a migraine, not that the nightmare didn't already do a bang up job of it already. He rapidly shook his head, aggravating his headache more and held his free hand up as if to say 'give me a second.' Seiji nodded in understanding, backing up so the blond could finally sit up, gasping for air and opened his eyes, looking at his lover and flushed. They remained quiet for a few more minutes before Sono finally sighed loudly, pressing his hand against his forehead, wincing at how sweaty he felt.

In fact, his whole body felt warm and the apartment felt like it was sweltering, even though he could distinctly hear the sound of the A.C kicking on every so often. His pajamas stuck to his back and he groaned loudly at the pulsing in his head. Without thinking, he kicked the blankets off his legs and moved to sit over the edge of the bed, his bare feet feeling like he had walked on hot coals given how he jumped when they touched the cold wood floor.

He wasn't sure how long he sat like that before he felt strong arm wrap around his middle, lips in his sweaty hair and he couldn't help but moan at how comforting it all felt. The way Seijis hands would rub his churning stomach helped too; for a while now, it felt like there was a rock in his gut that wouldn't move or come out. He could feel the man behind him move himself so that he was sitting directly behind the blond, legs spread so he could sit properly between them and continue to press kisses to his aching temple.

That was when Sono took the opportunity to glance at the clock on the nearby nightstand...he winced.

It was after 1 am. Today was an office day for Seiji and here he was, wide awake and having to take care of yet another ridiculous nightmare...all because Sono couldn't get his shit together. He groaned loudly at that, along with another pulse in the back of his skull, but sighed when he felt one of Seijis hands tangle through his hair and press a soft kiss to the back of his head, as if he knew exactly where the pain was starting from.

Then again, given the nights they'd been having since Sono moved in, it wasn't all that shocking.

After Seiji had lavished the back of his lovers skull with soft pecks, he rested his head on his shoulder and asked the usual question, a question that Sono was already annoyed with, but silently thrilled that Seiji picked up on it so quickly.

"Was it about your dads employee again? You kept muttering about a pill and how you felt weird..."

Out of Seijis line of sight, Sono smiled a little. It wasn't too often he had nightmares about the man who drugged him at 17; honestly, he was shocked that he even remembered it at all in such vivid detail, but then, why wouldn't he have? He thought that his nightmares would be about Takeo mostly, but was surprised that first night out of his apartment when he dreamt about that man in the alley who took him to his car...gave him a pill and did things to him.

It had to be because of seeing Naokis tattered uniform for the first time in 15 years; even then, it didn't make much sense. If that were the case, shouldn't he be having nightmares about the men who attacked him after school and shouldn't he be seeing Naoki beat them dead with a crowbar?

His brain hurt just thinking about this. He couldn't stop the images of that man touching him in that small car from buzzing in his head. All the things he said to him, how he called him....cute...beautiful...how attractive he was for a teenage boy....and how he'd never been with another male until that day.

He could feel his hands on his skin, tingly and numb from the drugs he took, gross lips on his stomach and his groin....he vaguely recalled the man asking for the teen to call him....Daddy....oh god...just thinking back made the rock in Sonos stomach settle harder and he felt his entire body start to shake. He pressed both hands to his mouth and closed his eyes, already assaulted with the memories of the man who used him in that car, in that secluded place...

The horrifying memories of how those drugs completely shut his body down and how the man just took advantage of everything. And when it was over...when the man came inside him and pulled out just in time to finish more on his bare legs...he couldn't fathom how he looked walking home that day.

"Sono? Are you ok?"

Seijis voice in his ear proved to be more heart wrenching then he ever imagined. Combined with the nightmares of that man and...and....oh no.

"S-Seiji...I think I'm gonna be sick..."

He didn't give his lover a chance to react. Sono bolted from his embrace and ran from the bedroom to the bathroom, throwing open the bathroom door, leaving Seiji to sit there with a crushed look on his face.

Goddamn, he hated seeing Sono like this...these last few days didn't make it any easier. The fact that Takeo had been inside the blonds home and set all those things there clearly had messed Sono up more than they realized. The idea of having him live with Seiji until this entire mess blew over seemed like a good idea in theory....but that first night was horrible.

Seiji could only grind his teeth at the memory of him and Yasuda at his kitchen table, downing glass after glass of cheap whiskey while he answered most of his best friends questions....questions he had been expecting since the start.

Questions like, 'how long had this been going on?' or 'why didn't you mention Sono and Takeo had a history?' and 'So these cops are here to find Takeo and protect Sono at the same time? Why didn't you say anything?'. These were just some of the questions Seiji could recall, only giving Yasuda the answers he felt were necessary and important.

Yasuda seemed to accept whatever answer Seiji gave him, knowing that this was something he could not (and morally should not) lie about. He had just downed his fifth glass of whiskey, listening to Seiji stumble over his words about how Sono and Takeo used to be a couple when they were younger and how Sonos father set a man hunt for the teen after the blond graduated high school...he very briefly mentioned the torture Takeo put Sono through that night, but didn't disclose just how bad it really was, before being asked about the blonds family and how they were handling this and if Sono still kept in contact with them.

Seiji, who downed his own fifth glass, mentioned that it was a complicated situation and that Sono was not in the right mindset to talk about them or even with them, but that his brother was the one who funded this investigation and how Seiji was 100% sure that their whole family was aware of what was going on.

It took Yasudas drunk brain maybe a quarter of a second to make some kind of connection when Seiji mentioned Otos name...because he suddenly got excited and asked a question Seiji was not expecting.

"H-hold up a second....you mean to tell me that your boyfriend...is the brother of Hanasaki Oto...which makes him...wait give me a sec...ok...that makes him the son of...Hanasaki Kenji...holy shit...why didn't anyone make that connection before. Do you even know who those men are?"

Yasuda then proceeded to tell Seiji, though he never responded, that the Hanasaki family was considered to be one of the most wealthiest and most powerful families in Northern Japan, with their influence in not just the law enforcement and politics but with several different organizations regarding....shit...Seiji was so drunk, he couldn't remember the rest of the conversation.

He remembered falling asleep at his table and waking up perhaps 3 hours later to the feeling of Sono pressing on his shoulder, jerking him awake in a panic, thinking something was wrong. It took him a couple minutes to notice Yasuda was gone, had left to go home, and that it was around 3 in the morning. When he looked to the blond, he could see those brown eyes hued in red, like he had been crying non stop even when he slept....if he even did manage to sleep.

Sono had quietly made them coffee and cleaned up the glasses, threw away the empty whiskey bottle and tried hard to keep his head clear as he watched the coffee slowly brew in the pot. After a while, Seiji staggered up to him, embraced him from behind and asked how he was feeling.

Sono said he felt horrible and sick...Seiji could see why. They stayed indoors the entire day, drinking coffee, trying to find a way to diffuse the tension in the air. When it was obvious they couldn't find a common footing, Sono started crying and apologized profusely, angry with himself that this was happening.

All it took was for Seiji to hold him against his body and kiss him to get him to stop, but in the end, the damage was done. They talked for a while about their options, how things would work while Sono stayed here, what their work schedules would be like going forward. Seiji had tried to convince Sono to take some time away from his work, that his fans and publisher would understand that he needed to take care of himself, but Sono wouldn't hear it. He said he had spent far too much time letting himself get behind and he needed to finish his next manga soon.

That was 5 days ago and his manga still wasn't finished. True, he completed a few more chapters, had only 4 more pages to go before he was complete, but only because he refused to sleep. If Seiji had been paying just a little more attention, he would've understood why. That first nightmare had Sono screaming in the darkness of their room and Seiji felt like he was totally out of his element.

Things since had gotten a little easier, with Sono slowly but surely opening up about the dreams he was having...or rather...the memories he was reliving. Each dream was more vivid then the one before and every dream had Sono either screaming or crying in the middle of the night, prompting his lover to wake him up and try to calm him down just enough to where he could sleep again.

Often times, the nightmares would be so intense and so real that when Sono woke up from them, he'd be physically sick. Seiji was still haunted by the night where he was woken up so suddenly by Sono bolting up in bed, screaming 'DADDY' at the top of his lungs, voice wrecked in agony, before puking violently all over his chest. He had never seen a grown man look so distraught before and Sono seemed to revert to a child like sense of fear as Seiji cleaned up.

That was one of the only nightmares where Seiji refused to ask about it because he already had an idea behind it. They spent that night in silence and didn't go back to sleep until after 4 am once the bed was cleaned up. Sono had offered to sleep on the couch so the man could get some rest...Seiji wouldn't even entertain the idea.

A week or so into their new arrangements and so far, things were....ok....at best. During the day, things seemed fine. Both men would go to work, text often during the day, meet each other halfway home and walk together, sometimes stopping to pick up dinner. They'd eat, work with each other on their drafts, curl up on the couch and just enjoy each others company. This was the life Seiji had dreamed of since making the decision to propose to his beloved...but when it came time for them to go to bed....Sonos demenor would shift and he'd become this...scared child in Seijis arms. Like sleeping to him was...almost a punishment....

Seiji wasn't really sure how to handle this, so he took every bit of sleepness nights he could, just so his love could try and relax. Every nightmare, every sobbing moment, every sickness that came from it....he'd take it all. Anything to get Sono to relax around him.

Which is why he wasn't the least bit surprised to hear the familiar sound of wretches coming from down the hall after a moment. He sighed through his nose, got up from his bed and made his way out of the room to the kitchen, avoiding the bathroom at the moment, to pour the blond a glass of water and grab a fruit tablet from the new 'emergency drawer' he started in his kitchen.

The drawer used to be his 'junk drawer' (really, almost every home everywhere has one), but after the first two nights with his love screaming and crying after every nightmare, even after the first night he got so sick in bed and refused to talk about it, Seiji had started to take precautions...starting with the blonds new inhaler.

That second day together, Seiji had weakly demanded that Sono either stay in bed to get some rest or to help him find the prescription papers so they could get him a new inhaler, just in case he was alone and needed it. Obviously, the blond chose the latter, not wanting to be cooped up by himself for a while and eventually found his papers in his work bag, following Seiji out the door the the pharmacy.

It took a bit longer to get there as the pharmacy was only a few blocks from Sonos home and Seiji was determined to make sure he wasn't being followed. They were in and out in 10 minutes, new inhaler tucked safely in Sonos bag as they took three cabs just to get back to the younger mans apartment. That was when they sat and, once again, weighed out their options...and it only left the blond in tears.

From there, Seiji had added numerous other things to the drawer; his notes he took about how to handle certain situations, throat drops for when the blonds voice failed him and needed something to suck on to open his throat (lemon honey, his favorite), four little rolls of fruit tablets to add to his water for when he got sick, his inhaler was tucked up at the top and a small stress ball Yasuda bought him, to squeeze when he worked if things felt like they were closing in.

For a few days now, Seiji debated on getting the blond on some anti depressants or some sort of stabilizers....but dropped the thought quickly as he was reminded of just how badly Sono abused those medications as a teenager because things got worse...the idea of his love going through another episode where he might overdose killed him inside....but then again, he also knew that not getting some form of medical help in situations like this was dangerous. He just didn't know how to bring it up. This was all new territory to him.

He shook his head; now wasn't the time to think about this.

Picking out a yellow tablet (lemon) and took the glass of water back in his hand, Seiji made his way to the bathroom, seeing it only open a touch and gently tapped it open with his bare foot. A beaten look came across his face.

No matter how many times he would walk in on this, it never got any easier.

The blond hunched over the toilet, shirt slightly unbuttoned to his chest and from where Seiji was standing, he could see how hot Sonos body was right now. He could see sweat on his temples to his neck, yellow hair damp and the back of his shirt had small wet patches collected over the fabric. And the sounds....god the sounds were enough to break Seijis heart. Each time he watched the blond lurch and let out what was in his stomach, he could see almost every muscle in his body tense and tighten, tears of exertion and hurt...

Not even attempting to stay quiet himself, Seiji gulped loudly and set the items he had on the counter before getting to his knees behind the blond, gently reaching up to pull his long hair back with both hands, taking quick note that he hadn't gotten his hair dirty and a side note at how sweaty and hot the blonds forehead was.

The moment his fingertips touched Sonos head, he felt the blond jump and lift his head just enough to whimper,

"D..don't...I'm fine...please..."

Seiji huffed, almost annoyed that this was something the blond always said during moments like this, but pushed it aside to scoot closer, pressing his chest against his lovers sweaty back for a moment to whisper back,

"It's ok. Just let it out. I've got you."

Any protest Sono had went blank as he lurched again, puking hard into the toilet and Seiji could only hold him as it happened, like he always did. One of his hands went to pull blond bangs back while the other went to his lovers stomach, shifting under his shirt to gently rub his skin, wincing to himself as he could actually fell the churning in his lovers body.

What shocked him more was just how...thin...he felt Sono was getting. Granted, the blond was naturally so small and petite in a way, but wasn't completely effeminate. He had muscle where it counted, in his legs, chest, arms...he was still healthy...or he used to be.

Now, as Seiji took a second to really evaluate the blonds form with one hand, he felt like Sono had lost a lot of weight over the last few weeks...maybe even months...he didn't look that different when he was naked; he looked the same as Seiji remembered from their several times together.

Or maybe Sono truly had lost weight and Seiji just couldn't see it. It would take him a bit to decide whether or not he'd be angry at himself for that later, for not paying attention to what was really going on. He wasn't too sure what to really be mad at.

Seiji jumped when he felt two fingers on his knee, peering down and seeing that Sono was tapping his leg, letting him know he was finished or felt finished. With a small smile, Seiji kissed the side of his lovers head, gently pulling him upright as the blond slammed the lid of the toilet down and flushed before setting his head back on the top, moaning at the cold porcelain on his burning face.

There was some movement, Sono caught slowly, feeling the man behind him leave his backside and vaguely heard the sound of the sink running before being gently positioned upright on his knees, soft hands coming around to unbutton his shirt. Once it was unbuttoned and removed, the blond pressed a shaking hand to his stomach and then to his chest, almost stunned at how warm he was and despite even that, he shivered.

Then he heard a soft _plop,_ some fizzy sounds, the sink being turned off and was confused at why there was a dripping sound of sorts, before he jumped and gasped at the feeling of a damp towel on his back. His gasp shifted into a whimper, then a soft moan as that towel glided all across his spine, his shoulders, the back of his neck. He jumped only a little when he felt the towel over his chest, swiping quickly over his pert nipples, hard only because of the cold towel, then shivered as it went down to his stomach, his hips and just above his pants.

The towel made its way up his neck and across his forehead, wiping away any sweat and Sono couldn't help but moan low in his throat, chasing the cold feel against his skin and whimpered as it started to ease his headache...if only a little.

Just as Sono was getting used to the fabric running across his skin, it stopped. The towel tossed into the sink, forgotten for a moment, before his picked up on the sound of the shower being turned on. Then it clicked and he sighed loudly. They had done this before. Why was he still surprised.

Seiji gently helped the blond to his feet and instructed him to balance himself on the counter if he felt dizzy; within seconds, Sonos hands shot to the counter and gripped hard, not trusting himself at the current state. He felt his lovers hands slide to his pants and pull them down, helping him out and he felt like time went in slow motion has he was helped into the shower. The pressure wasn't on high; the shower was meant to cool his body down and rinse off any sweat Seiji may have missed with that towel...the cool water felt nice, in reality.

And if he was truly being honest with himself, Sono absolutely hated being treated this way....like he was too weak to take care of himself. He had spent many years alone and had been dealing with his nightmares and bouts of sickness longer before he found ways around it, long before he felt the desire to be near someone again.

Then again...having Seiji dote on him like this...it felt nice. It really did feel nice to have someone he trusted take care of him when he felt like he was slipping away. He had almost forgotten what it felt like to put his full faith in someone to see him like this...he had briefly wondered if Naoki had ever seen him in such a state. Probably not since his suicide attempt when he was younger...he shook his aching head and closed his eyes for a moment...that was something he didn't want to think about right now.

The water over his head suddenly shifted, being lifted slightly and a soft hand gently gripped his cheek, turning his head to face his lover. In his hand was a glass of fizzy water and the look in his eyes told Sono he was tired. The blonds instantly felt bad, but knew where this was going anyway. With a shaking hand, he took the glass and brought it to his lips, two small gulps before Seiji pulled it back, instructing him to wash his mouth out with it.

He gargled for a moment, swishing the fizzy lemon water in his mouth before spitting it out, watching it go down the drain. He didn't get much reprieve as Seiji pulled his attention to him again, whispered 'again' and Sono did just that. Two more gulps, a moment of gargling and swishing before he spit it out again, already enjoying the fact that he no longer tasted bile in his throat and mouth.

Seiji smiled at him, leaning forward to kiss his lovers wet forehead and told him he was going to let him drink the rest and to sip it slowly. The blond smiled a little in return, letting his lover hold the glass and took small sips of the remainder of the water, the fizzy liquid feeling good going down his throat and into his sore stomach. Once it was gone, Seiji set the empty glass back on the counter and moved the shower head back to run water over the blonds body, running his hands through soaked yellow hair, taking a few moments to get to certain spots on his lovers body.

Now that Sono was truly standing bare in front of him like this, Seiji could finally take a moment to truly look him over and bit back a groan of internal pain. His suspicions were confirmed; the blond looked a lot thinner since the last time he saw him naked...and gods...that wasn't even that long ago.

It wasn't like it was dangerously thin; Sono still looked plenty healthy and his body didn't look like it was collapsing on itself, but still. The very faint definition of his ribs is what caught Seijis eye first, making him wonder just how badly the blond was neglecting himself...so to speak.

"Please stop..."

Seiji jumped a little, looking up at the blond, not expecting him to speak so suddenly...he looked hurt. A red flush on his cheeks and the way his eyes sharpened, not looking at him...but he looked embarrassed. His arms came up to wrap around his chest, almost like he was trying to hide himself from his lovers eyes. That and he was shaking....and probably not just from the cold shower.

It took Seiji a second longer to realize what was going on and he internally slapped himself. He had been staring, judging...and not in the way that made Sono feel good about himself.

Now while he certainly knew that even though the blond carried himself high in one aspect or another, he didn't feel the least bit comfortable when people stared at him with judging eyes..not in this way. With a flush of his own spreading on his cheeks, Seiji got back to his feet quickly, waving his hands and stuttered out,

"Sorry, sorry! I uh...I was lost in thought...here, let's get you out of the shower and into some warm clothes. Do you need something else to drink? More water? How are you feeling right now?"

A sharp glare was one part of his answer as Seiji turned off the shower, ignoring the daggers in Sonos eyes, but kept himself composed as he helped the blond out of the tub and started drying him off with a nearby blue towel. He gently padded the blonds pale skin every where he could, going back to one knee so he could dry his legs. The man ran the towel over his thighs, gently raking down his calves and to his feet before going back up to his hips...a soft hand in his brown hair gave him pause as he looked up and he softened his stare.

Sono was looking down at him with tired eyes of his own, red rimmed and a pink blush. His entire body was shaking, not so much from the cool air around them but from the exertion of what had just happened. It wasn't unusual for this to happen anyway.

Not wasting a moment, Seiji sprung to his feet and settled the towel over the mop of damp yellow hair, drying it as quickly as he could, all while pressing peppered kisses to his lovers face before giving him a soft kiss to his lips, gently cupping the back of his head to bring him closer.

The blond preened for a moment, hands coming up to grip Seijis arms tightly, kissing back like he was parched. Being so naked in front of his lover like this, kissing the way they were, it should've been enough to turn him on...but it didn't. And he knew why...Seiji knew why too.

When the kiss broke, Sono looked hard into Seijis eyes, both tired and drained, one more so than the other, before the blond whispered,

"I'm...um....I'm sorry I woke you again...I know you have to head into the office today and...I'll just..grab a blanket and--"

Ahhh this was another thing that had become so common between them these days. While Sono had nightmares...almost every night...not all of them made him physically ill, but when they did, when he (and/or the bed) were cleaned up and things were fine again, Sono would offer to sleep elsewhere in the apartment, mostly the couch, so Seiji could get the sleep he needed.

And every time, the answer was the same.

Seiji sighed and pulled his lover in for a hug, kissing his temple from under the towel and said, sternly,

"You know I'm never going to let you do that. Love, it's ok. These things happen. I understand you're going through a lot in your head and sometimes, it makes you sick. It's...it's scary, yes...but you know I don't mind taking care of you. I know what to expect these days."

The blond locked up in Seijis hold and gave a shuddering sigh, mumbling just loud enough to hear,

"You...you shouldn't have to be used to it though. It's ok...I've dealt with this alone for a long time...I don't expect you to be happy with it...."

"Just because you've dealt with this by yourself back then doesn't mean I'll let you do it now. Sono, i get it. Things are happening that are making you horribly nervous and even I can tell your anxiety is sky rocketing right now. But if you think that's going to make me let you handle this alone again, you're crazy. I love you. You know that. I'd be a horrible fiance if I just let you stew in this by yourself. Now enough of this talk. Let's get you back to bed."

With little grace, Seiji took the towel that was on his lovers head and tossed it to the floor, moving in to press a soft yet passionate kiss to Sonos forehead before guiding him out of the bathroom and back to the bedroom, which felt significantly cooler now then Sono remembered only a few moments ago.

Quietly, he moved to sit on the edge of the bed while Seiji bustled around to change the blonds pillow case and eventually went into his drawers to find him a new shirt, finding the gray one Sono liked so much and tossed it to him. The blond sat there for a moment longer before slipping the shirt over his head and settled it against his body, patting his chest and sighed loudly into the open air.

That sigh changed to a surprised yelp when he felt himself moved into the air, arms immediately wrapping around Seijis neck and blushed wildly when he heard his lover chuckle against his ear, a kiss pressed there a moment after.

After some maneuvering, Seiji had settled them both back in bed, covered only by a clean sheet and had Sono cradled in his arms, one hand rubbing his side through his shirt. The touch was comforting, so much so that Sono moved closer to his lovers chest and gulped low in his throat, trying to stop his trembling, wanting to just enjoy his lovers hand on his skin...but it was so difficult after so long of dealing with this himself.

Most of his adult life up to this point had been a prison of self hate and solitude, mainly from his experiences with how he treated himself. Nightmares weren't much of a thing, but the overwhelming pain he put himself through by letting others hurt him had the near same effect. Normally, when he got like this, he would force himself to let it out and burn himself in a hot shower later, making his headaches worse and in the end, made him feel pathetic, weak....worthless. He could barely stand to look at himself after moments like this because he didn't want to face the reality he put himself in.

Having Seiji in his life helped, more than he thought possible. He loved this man more than he ever thought he could love someone else, but...never did he want the man to see him in his worst moments....moments like this....

Seiji halted the soft rubbing for a second as he felt Sono shiver in his arms again, eyes heavy as they looked up at him before looking away. The man gently cupped under the blonds chin and lifted his head to kiss him deeply, earning a soft moan and felt the grip on the back of his shirt tighten just a little. And when they broke apart, Sono let out a breathless sigh before saying quietly,

"C...Chino."

Seiji blinked.

"I'm sorry?"

"Chino was...he was there too...along with my dads employee..It was brief...but...I...I felt them both...I mostly remember the other man....and...I think I remember his name too..."

This was certainly new. Sono never really liked to talk about that day...Naoki's funeral...mainly because of what transpired soon after. So to hear this made Seiji a little curious, in a morbid sense...he was excited, but only because this was something Sono never told him.

This was good...he was opening up more.

"I see...what was his name, if you uh...if you don't mind me asking."

Sono looked thoughtful for a second before sighing and shut his eyes, mumbling,

"Tsunamari Reiko...he worked in one of the accounting departments in my dads business...it...it kinda surprises me that I remember that."

The blond chuckled a little, which made Seiji chuckle in return, continuing to rub his lovers stomach for a moment while scooting closer to kiss his cheek, mumbling,

"You're remembering a lot of things all at once, so I'm not shocked it's hurting you more than you thought. But if you don't want to talk about this, it's fine. We can talk about it lat--"

"But I think I want to talk about it now...I never really told you about it and...I feel like you need to know about what happened to me that day. Maybe it'll help me get his face out of my mind....Chinos too...."

Seiji blinked again, slightly surprised by the abrupt response and looked over the blonds head to glance at his clock. It read about 1:54 in the morning...and suddenly, he felt like he was wide awake. When he peered back into Sonos eyes, he could see the blond was now wide awake as well.

This wasn't exactly how Seiji pictured their night going; normally, when Sono came down from something like a bout of sickness, he would get cleaned up and fall right back to sleep, usually with the feeling of Seijis hands on him to lull him into a peaceful-ish slumber. So to hear that he actually wanted to talk more about his past, a part that he kept from Seiji for obvious reasons, it made Seijis heart throb.

Back when Sono was detailing his life to Seiji, when it came to certain parts, like the funeral and that guy, he skimmed over it, telling Seiji it wasn't something he was willing to relive just yet. Seiji had nodded and held his lovers hand, guiding him through the rest and that was that. Now it seemed like Sono was ready to detail that part as well and Seiji would hold him like last time, guide him through and hope to God that he didn't have another meltdown like before. No matter how much Seiji loved this man with every fiber of his being, he didn't think he could handle Sono breaking down like that again and almost end their relationship.

With a soft kiss to his head, Seiji asked,

"Do you...do you just want to tell me what happened afterwards? You told me he took you to his car and drove off somewhere private and...I guess he roofied you or gave you some drug to make you compliant. I don't need to hear about all that....just...what happened after?"

Sono sighed again, loudly, and turned over to lay on his back, staring at the ceiling while he felt Seiji curl up next to him, a hand on his stomach. The blonde pondered for a moment, resting his hand on his forehead and said,

"It's still a little fuzzy, honestly. I didn't really come back to myself until I felt him...finish. After that, he drove me back to the alley he picked me up from and made me swear not to tell anyone...especially my father. I think I was so gone and so...I guess...shut down.... that I didn't even question that at all. But I remember walking home in a weird trance, like I couldn't believe I had just done that...I mean, I refused to believe I did...I was maybe halfway home before my dads assistant saw me limping and pulled over to stop me."

His fathers assistant? Oh crap...what was his name again?

Seiji closed his eyes in thought, trying to dig through important parts of Sonos story and place a name. This was a person the blond didn't talk in major detail about, at least, not the he recalled, but did put him in high enough regard to mention him several times. How he was his fathers right hand man, his friend, his driver...oh wait. Now it's coming to him.

"Your dads assistant...Henia, right?"

Sono smiled and nodded, twirling a piece of hair in his finger and god, what Seiji wouldn't give to keep that smile on his face forever. It warmed his heart to see the curve of the blonds lips, even as he spoke...though that smile did fade as he continued his thoughts.

"Heh, yeah. My old babysitter, mine and Otos, when we were younger. I guess when he found me, I was absolutely wrecked. I was still coming down from those drugs and I couldn't walk all that well. He immediately got me in his car and took me home, asking me all kinds of questions, but I couldn't answer him. My tongue was swollen, or it felt like it was."

"Did you ever tell him later?"

Sono actually laughed for a second, a mocking one or an unintentional one, but he turned his head to look at Seiji, who stared at him slightly confused. The blond, for his part, settled his laughter and patted his chest, all while saying with a grimace,

"Oh god no. Do you know what kind of hell that would've started if I told my dads right hand man? I think that entire city would be set on fire until they actually found the guy who did all that to me..no, I couldn't bring myself to speak about it at that point. I figure the minute he would've heard me say the words 'drugged' and 'raped', he would've called my dad and there'd be a manhunt started in seconds......but anyway, when he dropped me off, I guess I spooked him with how quiet I was, but he didn't follow me inside. He just drove off when I got up to the door and went in. My dad was in the lounge with my brother, going over some work when they saw me limp by...I...heh...I think I gave my dad an absolute heart attack. I don't even think he noticed I was on something when he tried to ask me if I was ok. I guess Oto helped me to my room and I spent the rest of that night by myself after showering...and after a while, I knew why I was limping or why I felt weird every time I walked...that guy...when he came inside me...I guess he gripped my ankle so hard that he bruised it...."

It was almost hard to paint that kind of picture in his head and for a moment, Seiji felt sick himself even just thinking about it.

The image of a severely depressed 17 year old boy, taken up by some man with the intent of helping him....only to use him. Seiji couldn't fathom the thought. But then...he did recall several stories his foster parents shared about the people they helped save from abusers like this...and how every time there was a child involved, his foster mother would suddenly just hug Seiji tight and not let go for a long while.

It burned the man to think that 15 years ago, Sono had no one to comfort him the way he needed, especially after having your young love just stripped away from you. And at the same time, Seiji also knew that Sono had a bad habit of keeping things locked up from others...as evidant by the current situations they were in.

It didn't really shock him to know that even after so many years, that hadn't changed and Seiji actually felt a little furious over that. He just wasn't sure why. Man, he was feeling anger at the strangest thing and the fact that he couldn't pinpoint where to direct it was only making him angrier.

Seiji shook his head, slightly annoyed with himself and cleared his throat, nuzzling his head against the blonds pillow,

"Did you ever tell your dad what happened? Was that guy ever caught?"

Sono turned his head to look his lover in the eye, a pointed stare that Seiji returned, before chuckling again and said,

"You're asking if I ever told my father that one of his associates took his youngest son into his car, drugged him and raped him the day of his best friends funeral?"

Seiji nodded, sheepishly, and Sono sighed to himself, rubbing his eyes with one hand and muttered,

"No...not immediately...but he did find out eventually."

Silence.

Pure silence filled the room for a moment, save only for the sharp intake of air Seiji felt himself do as he sat up slowly, staring down at the blond with another pointed stare. Only this time, it was in morbid curiosity and glee. Sono caught a glimpse of it and could only sigh to himself gently.

Yeah, this was something he figured his boyfriend would be interested in, regardless of any actual context. Ever since Sono had, in his opinion, stupidly regarded his life to the man, it was as if a switch was flipped in the younger man, a newly developed predatorial instinct that made Seiji a little too eager to hear about how the people who hurt Sono in his younger life got their 'just desserts', as he heard it.

In reality, the punishment done to Reiko wasn't the same as what was done to Chino...at least...not that Sono recalled at first. This was so long ago and even though many of his traumatic memories were slowly becoming more and more vibrant these past few months, there were still somethings he didn't want to even try and remember.

If anything...he only remembered how scared he was and how angry and furious both Oto and his father were.

Another sigh and Sono rubbed his eyes both with both palms before opening his mouth, not really wanting to look at Seiji at the moment.

"Oto took me to see our dad at work, like our mom used to do when we were kids, only this was just to get me out of the house after locking myself away for a while. It was a nice visit, for a little bit...we talked about where we were going for dinner that evening, but my dad would constantly hug me and ask how I was feeling...I was still trying to get used to his affections and I didn't really say much..only that I was hungry. He gave me his access card and told me to head to the fourth floor break room, I guess because the main one was being repainted or whatever....I took the elevator down to the main accounting departments break room, kind of avoiding speaking to the people who knew me....and...Reiko was already there when I showed up."

A hitch in Seiji's breathing almost made Sono chuckle again, but he swallowed it down and sat up in bed next to him, no longer feeling sick to his stomach...only feeling shaken as he recounted more and more of that day. It certainly hadn't been a good one and just thinking about that man...what he did and how he could've avoided it...Sono shut his eyes and ran his hand through his bangs, leaning his head back on the headboard, continuing while itching the front of his head,

"Keep in mind that this was literally a week or two after Takeos little graduation present to me, as well as me actually finding out that the guy worked for my dad, so I wasn't exactly the most mentally stable person at that time. My body was so sore from all my scars and wounds...I was scared to go anywhere and it's why I rarely left the house. I mean, there was a time when Oto and my dad helped me try and get better...really the only way they figured was best...but even then...I was still scared. And because I knew my dads building so well, I figured that that was the easiest thing I could do alone. Go into the break room, get a sandwich and head back to my dads office. Simple as that. But seeing his face...after everything that happened...everything I now knew...I guess...I guess I just broke down."

Finally, Sono turned his head to look at Seiji, who looked at him with a soft stare and a comforting smile, which in turn made Sonos lip curl up. It was short lived though, as Sono sighed yet again and rubbed his neck, blushing as he went on.

"Looking back, it's really kind of sad. I lost my breathing, my heart was starting to pound against my ribs...I got really cold. And I think he knew what was going through my head. He took one look at me, his whole face paled and I think he dropped the cup of coffee he had...it was like he wasn't expecting to see me after that night, like he forgot I was his bosses freaking son. The second he saw my eyes glaze over, he tried to calm me down, he even...touched me...but only my arms, like you do when you try to keep me grounded."

Seiji nodded in understanding, scooting closer to his lover and leaned his head on his shoulder, one arm coming around to rest on his hip. Tilting his head up, he asked,

"I guess that's what set you off, huh?"

Again, Sono chuckled, a bleak one at that, but nodded and said,

"Oh god, did it ever. I may or may not have blacked out, so to speak. But I screamed so loudly that the top office...which is my dads office...heard it. His secretary, Anna, came bursting through the doors not a minute later and when she saw one of the accounting people holding me tightly...well, it's been established already that Kenji Hanasaki was known to have a predatorial attitude towards his kids and that it would look strange to some people, you know, outside looking in, but considering what his staff knew about my graduation..which wasn't uncommon...and what had happened to me and how my father was so protective of me....you can see how this scene looked to her. Anna was pissed; she contacted my dad, my brother and the supervisor for that floors department all with a single call....we didn't wait too long."

Seijis hand gripped tighter on Sonos hip, nuzzling his head closer to the blonds neck, lips grazing his pale skin and asked,

"Then what happened?"

The blond swallowed loudly and continued his story, all while he closed his eyes at the comfortable feeling of Seiji so close to him. Somehow, having the man so near to him seemed to help with his worries about reliving this moment in his head.

"Oto pulled Reiko off of me so fast that I barely noticed it happening...and my dad pulled me into a tight hug, looking me over, making sure I wasn't hurt more than I already was. Reiko kept going on and on about a misunderstanding, that I had just freaked out of nowhere..."

At that, Seijis head bolted up and looked hard at his lovers face, his own eyes sharp with unexpected irritation. He saw that Sono wasn't looking at him, what with his closed eyes, but saw the flush of red on his cheeks fade a little.

"Wait, he lied to your fathers face?"

"Yeah. But I knew no one was buying it, Oto and my dad especially. Everything moved so quickly and before I knew what was happening, my dad brought me back up to his office and sat me in his lap for a bit, coddling me to make sure I was ok. And ask much as I loved my fathers touches at the time, given all that went down between us...I was feeling sick and panicked. I excused myself and went to the bathroom, to calm myself down....Reiko showed up like..not even after a few minutes...he cornered me in the bathroom and started making empty threats, reminding me that I swore to never tell anyone what happened and that if I did, he'd make it out to look like I asked him for it...that I....begged for it."

Seiji scoffed, but silently apologized when Sono gave him a look, though Sono didn't say much about it either. Instead, he said,

"I remembered Takeo telling me that the reason Reiko did what he did was so that Takeo wouldn't hurt his daughters and his wife. And Seiji...believe me...I tried..so hard to sympathize with that. But I was too far gone to rationalize with anything. All I knew was that this man hurt me, drugged me and fucked me in his car and made me swear never to tell anyone. He made me call him names like Sir and...Daddy...something that to this day makes me want to rip myself apart. I couldn't stop myself and he constantly reminded me of that. I could tell he wasn't doing it out of malice...he was just as scared as I was. He had a family to protect...and I was just some kid he was payed to drug and rape because he had no other choice."

Somewhere in the back of Seiji's mind, he visualized himself trying to convince Sono that he was wrong, so very wrong. That man did have a choice; he could've gone to the police or something. If that man worked for Sonos father, then he would have clearly known that Kenji had ties to most of Fukushima's law enforcement...he could've found a way to protect his family without messing up an already torn apart 17 year old boy.

But he didn't. He took the easy way out. He took the money and abused a child...a child that had already been hurt by circumstances out of his own control. Seiji felt heated, like he was slowly understanding why his foster parents were in the line of work they had been. They wanted to stop things like this from happening and now Seiji was even beating himself down for not following that line of work.

Then again, he even knew he wasn't cut out for law enforcement; he never had an interest. He loved art and that's what he pursued...but listening to the love of his life recall these horrible memories and actual things that happened to him....it burned Seiji deeper than he realized. It made him wish his foster parents were still alive, so he could maybe talk them into finding the people (Takeo included) and really just beat them with the law.

Though, that's what Sono's family was currently doing, trying to find the man truly responsible for their childs pain...this could be the ultimate apology from Kenji and Oto, to make the amends with Sono for the years apart...at least, Seiji thought so. Why else would they be this involved if not for the insane amount of love they had for the technical baby of the family.

Seiji kept his thoughts to himself and squeezed Sonos hip in reassurance, coaxing him to continue. The blond looked at Seiji for a moment with a soft stare, nodding and sighed.

"That was when Oto opened the door and heard the tail end of it....I don't think I've ever seen my brother get so angry before in my life, save for maybe when he called the cops of Chino when we were little. He dragged Reiko by the collar to my dads office and forced him to come clean about what was going on and how he knew me well enough to make me so upset. When he started lying about how I begged him for it that night, how I was the one who wanted it and had seduced him, a married man, into taking me into his car and doing what we did...I started sobbing. I curled myself in my brothers arms and just broke down. And I think that was how my father knew it wasn't true. Like he was thinking back to that night and remembered how crushed I looked. Though....I...I may have filled in some blanks through my tears, recounting what I remembered and...and..."

Tears started to pool in Sonos eyes. He started to curl in on himself, his arms wrapping around his body and his entire form starting to tremble. Brown eyes shut tightly, his breathing trying to stabilize itself.

In seconds, Seiji wrapped his arms around the man and pressed soft kisses to his temple, rubbing his arms, his waist, anywhere he could get and molded himself to his lovers body. Gods, he felt horrible for putting Sono through this again. He knew in some way the pain the man went through and because of his fucking stupid curiosity, he couldn't keep his mouth shut.

Vivid memories of that night Sono came to him with the intent of forcing Seiji to end things between them flashed behind his eyes. His chest ached for the man, wanting to reach in and take this pain into himself so the blond wouldn't have to suffer.

He pressed another tender kiss to the blonds head, muttering loudly in such a panicked voice,

"Sono, you don't have to continue. It's ok. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have--"

The blond shook his head rapidly, wiping his eyes and took deep, even breaths to steady himself before straightening up, leaning his head back and let out a soft groan. Seiji knew that noise fairly well. It was a tell.

A tell that Sono was sick and tired of crying so much and just wanted to stop. But both men knew not to address it in such a way. Seiji felt that the emotions that Sono was trying to lock away would eventually crush him and was entirely too supportive of the blond to just let them out, that he could handle it and could help him. Sono, however, was stubborn and refused to truly let go, much to the younger mans frustration. And the blond knew that...even now, as he calmed himself down, he knew better than to let his emotions run rampant. He remembered all too well what happened that last time he really let go...Seiji wasn't aware of that story.

And as long as Sono had breath in his lungs, he never would. That was a memory Sono was not at all ready to let loose. Instead, he let out a loud exhale, hand pressed to his chest and turned to look at his lover...who looked unbelievably worried. Sono had to admit...it was comforting...

"It's ok. I'm ok. It's just weird to look back on. I used to compare the feeling I had then back to when my dad beat the living hell out of Chino for what he did to me when I was 6....I...I guess I was kind of surprised at the silence he showed when he found out one of his associates...drugged his child and did things to him. He didn't kill him, but I knew he wanted to. I could feel the anger from both him and my brother...Oto held me so tightly that I think he may have unintentionally given me bruises...my dads face was like...calm...but livid. I think if I wasn't there or if Reiko didn't have a family...I think my dad would've just killed him then and there...but I think he was just fired...thrown out of the building by Henia and two other security guards...I don't really know if anything more came from that, but I do remember my father and brother demanding to know why I didn't tell them sooner. All I had to do was hold one of my wrists and look my dad in the eye....that's when he understood. And we didn't talk about it anymore after that...."

"Are you sure you didn't? Or you just don't remember talking about it later?"

Sono smiled at the question, but Seiji could see the hurt behind it. He didn't address it.

"Maybe we did. I know my father spoiled me hardcore after that...and that my brother refused to leave my side for the rest of his visit. He even ignored his wife in favor of just being with me...I used to wonder if Miyuki hated me for that, for knowing her husband spent more time coddling his baby brother than spoiling his wife."

"Do you still think that?"

He shook his head, smile still plastered to his face.

"Sometimes, but not much anymore. Honestly, up until all that's been happening, I never gave these things a lot of thought. It's like my brain is just shooting memories at me at the worst times. And...well...I guess watching the interview that my brother had did jog a few memories on my own."

Seiji's brow quirked at that and Sono didn't bother giving him more context about it. It was enough for now, something Seiji would have to look into later when things weren't so stressful between them.

Finally, Sono turned to look at him, his smile now genuine and yet sad all at once. There were still spotty tears in his eyes, but the smile under them was enough for Seiji to relax his nerves. Everything was fine...everything was ok.

"You know what's funny, Seiji? Right before I saw your text that day, I was actually getting ready to call my mom. I...I missed her voice. And I miss the way she used to hold me when I was upset or scared....but...at the same time...I miss my brother and my father. I never gave any of this any thought until you told me how much they might miss me. I'd like to think you're giving me the courage I need to try. In fact, I know you are. But...I just need more time. I thought I was ready..."

The tears that were settled in his eyes finally made their way down his cheeks, but not enough to be completely concerned about. Seiji smiled in return, elated that Sono had let him in just a little more, reaching up to wipe the tears from his eyes with his thumb. As soon as his hand touched a pale cheek, one of Sonos hands reached up to stop him, making him unfurl his fingers so his palm could rest on the blonds face.

Sono nuzzled into the touch, eyes closing in ease and leaned further into Seiji's embrace, suddenly feeling like a weight was lifted from his shoulders. It truly did feel good to talk about that day, even if it wasn't in greater detail. But he knew Seiji wouldn't press for more information...at least, he hoped.

On the other side of things, Seiji was more than content with what Sono had told him. It was still a hard process to get the blond to open up like this, especially after everything, but when he did...when Sono would tell him things like this...Seiji felt proud.

Worried as all fuck....but proud all the same.

With a soft smile, the man leaned over to kiss Sonos other cheek, lips trailing up to his forehead and mumbled into his skin,

"Love, take all the time you need. All I wanted was for you to at least try once this Takeo mess was settled. Yeah, things are looking bleak because of what he did in your apartment. But we got you out, changed your number and above all else, I'm here with you. And I'm not going anywhere. You know that."

Before Sono could respond, Seiji pressed their lips in a hot kiss, his hand on the blonds cheek lightly caressing under his ear. He felt the blond moan loudly at that, hands scampering over his chest to grip something, anything, but Seiji pulled away, taking note of the flush all over such pretty pale cheeks.

Then....they laughed. They laughed together for a solid minute before Sono wiped his eyes again, leaning back against the board again and tried to speak while calming down.

"S...sorry again that I woke you...I know you've been working hard lately and I can assume taking care of me is only making things worse for you."

Seiji chuckled at that, shaking his head and took Sonos hand in his, kissing his knuckles and said,

"It's not as bad as you think it is. I told you from the beginning that I wasn't going to leave you alone with this. I love you. If this is what I need to do to make you comfortable here with me, then I'll stay up as long as I have to..."

Sono keened at that, eyes closing as he felt Seiji kiss his cheek again with such comfort that the blond felt like singing.

After a few more moments of silence, Seiji positioned himself back against the bed with the blond between his legs, hands resting on his shoulders, massaging the muscles and pressing soft kisses to the back of his neck. He could feel Sonos body tremble with each squeeze and each kiss made him sigh loudly, arching a little before relaxing against the mans chest, feeling his lovers heartbeat strong against his back.

This was nice....everything about this was nice. He didn't feel quite as sick anymore and his body finally stopped trembling. He could hear his own thoughts again. He could relax.

He was safe here. He was safe with Seiji...things were ok. He didn't have to stress himself out. These memories were just that....memories. They couldn't hurt him. Nothing could hurt him...

Seiji immediately stopped rubbing the blonds shoulders then second he feels him lock up. He's not shaking...he's just...frozen. It's an unusual reaction, but nothing Seiji isn't unused to...at least not now. He knows that Sono has a lot going through his mind right now. The memory of when he was a teenager, knowing that Takeo was in in his apartment still haunts him...smaller yet still important things like his work are also on his mind. Seiji is acutely aware that Sono is horribly behind in his work thanks to all this stress. His publisher has been blowing up his phone with emails, reminding him of his approaching deadlines and it's doing nothing but making Sono stress more. He's usually so composed with his work and often times has his assistants take off some of the load for him.

But these last few months have been taxing; Sono isn't himself right now and his fellow artists can see that. And while Seiji isn't aware of what his lover is like at his publication office, he can only guess it's not going well if his publisher in on him like this. It also makes Seiji wonder if his lovers publisher is...aware of the current state of his manga-ka's mental state. Sono isn't crazy, far from it...but he's not healthy in his head. He could try to hide it all he pleases, but Seiji is more than aware that Sono isn't right in his head. It often brings up a conversation that neither man can see eye to eye on.

But Seiji can always continue trying...just for the hell of it.

"I wish you'd consider going on hiatus. Sono, you need to take time off so you can deal with these feelings. The longer you hold back, the worse your fits are going to get...I know you don't like talking about it, but remember when we left the apartment to just do some simple shopping a few days ago? You panicked and waited outside because there were too many people and you thought they were staring at you, like they knew something was wrong with you....you were having a small anxiety attack outside the store and if someone hadn't seen us come in together and later told me, I would've flipped out trying to figure out where you were."

A long pause...then Sono sighed loudly, followed by him turning his head briefly to look at the man.

"Seiji..."

Seiji didn't let him continue; he saw the look of irritation in Sonos eyes and wasn't about to crack again...like every other time. He needed to make his point known.

"I know you don't want to, but Sono, I'm worried. I don't want you to work yourself into the ground and then be forced to deal with all these emotions and issues when it suddenly becomes too much. Your fans will understand. And if your publisher makes a big deal, then I'll talk to him."

Sono turned in his lap to face him fully, the look on his face now venomous. Seiji was quick to match it, not about to bend so easily. Each time they had this conversation, it always ended with Seiji apologizing and allowing the blond to forgo it another day.

Not this time. At least, he hoped.

"Don't do that."

Seiji sneered and Sono eyes sharpened more. The tone of the blonds voice was razor sharp and it was something the younger man was trying to find an easier way to work around.

But they rarely had arguments that turned this heated and even when Sono was mad about this sort of confrontation, Seiji was never in the mood to escalate the matter further. But this had been something they had avoided in a half ass way for a while. Both men knew what stress could do if it bled into their work...Seiji respected Sono as a fellow manga-ka too much to allow it to get that far...he loved him as a partner to allow the blond to kill himself with self neglegance.

"Why not? You know what happens when you're left to your own devices and shit goes south. Sono, for gods sakes, I found you sitting in your own vomit that night. You looked horrified. You can't imagine the thoughts that went through my head. I thought he was waiting for you when you got home and--"

"I get it! Just STOP!"

....

Well then. That was certainly new.

In his sudden burst of anger, Sono shot up from the bed and to his feet, avoiding Seiji's gaze for a minute all while Seiji was trying to compute the fact that Sono had just...blown up at him. Granted, this wasn't terribly new but never like this.

The blond paced around the bed several times, chewing his thumb, almost breaking skin before Seiji even attempted to get his attention. Sono stopped him by, once again, surprising the hell out of him and snapped at him...

It was like an absolute train wreck.

"Seiji, please, just stop. You're making a bigger deal out of this than it already is. I know the situation. I understand the reality....but this isn't helping me. You constantly badgering me about it is only going to make things worse...and...you being so patient with me...is freaking me out."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Don't you get it? I'm not used to...to any of this. I'm not used to someone putting my needs before theirs. I don't know how to respond when someone takes this much care of me and my concerns...I've been doing this by myself for 15 years...you can't fault me for being a little uncomfortable with all this."

A rock settled in Seijis stomach at that, his eyes suddenly wide with hurt as he stared up at the blond, who was looking at him with a shocked stare of his own...like...like he couldn't believe he just said that.

Honestly, Seiji wasn't sure how to respond to something like that. Never in his life had he been just thrown something so hurtful by someone he cared about. He could stare at the man, baffled and ask in a broken voice,

"I...I make you uncomfortable?"

Immediately, Sonos heart cracked and he gasped low to himself. No...No, why did he say that? Was that even true...did Seiji make him feel this way?

There was no way. He loved him too much to even entertain the thought of Seiji making him feel anything other than loved and happy...but was he even happy? He didn't know. Everything was muddled together in such a bad way that his brain was frazzled.

"It's not you that makes me this way. It's....everything. Seiji, you know I love you. But you need to stop treating me like I'm made of glass. I'm not going to break so easily....besides...I know I'm a lot to handle. I basically seduced you when we first met even if that wasn't my intention. I can understand if all this will someday be too much for you..."

Seiji had bolted up from the bed and to his feet so quickly that Sono hadn't even registered the movement. He gasped as he was pressed against the closed bedroom door, (Seiji didn't even touch him, why was he so afraid right now) and averted his gaze, fighting the urge to run away from this like he had every other negative thing in his life.

The action and the look on the blonds face did not go unnoticed. Once again, Seiji was hurt by the way Sono was reacting, but, again, it wasn't something he wasn't used to. He just didn't like it. Sono wasn't supposed to be afraid of him. He wasn't supposed to look like Seiji was going to beat him at a moments notice. Seiji wasn't like that....Sono knew that.

So where was this coming from? (idiot, you know why. He's a victim of this kind of shit...why do you keep forgetting that?)

Taking a step forward, seeing how Sono locked up against the door, Seiji couldn't help but sigh loudly and ask, in such an aggravated way,

"Are we really doing this again? Sono, don't do this. Don't close yourself off from me again. I'm not going to leave you. Hell, I'm not even considering the option! Why would you even think I would do something like that? I love you. For gods sake, you know I even want to marry you someday. Why would I want to lose the only person I've ever truly loved in my life?"

A sour thought struck Seiji like a brick and his aggravation shifted into something akin to suspicion.

"Are you...are you expecting me to leave one day? Is that it?"

Sono blinked at him, only looking at him for a second before looking away again, turning to curl up against the door. He flushed a dark red color, body shaking and Seiji could see one of his hands reaching for the door knob, pulling back every few seconds.

Seiji didn't even need to repeat his question...Sono closed his eyes and shuddered low, muttering,

"I don't know. Yes? No? I'm a mess. I would've thought you'd want me at my best, back when we first met. My reputation meant nothing to me until I met you. I already felt horrible for the things I used to do, but you helped me see that's not who I am anymore...it's just...difficult....I've gotten so used to people using me and leaving me...hell...I'm used to people saying they love me...and then hurting me....I'm not saying you will, but...I can't help thinking it's going to happen. It makes me anxious, nervous and I'm trying to not consider it...I'm not asking you to understand...."

Seiji didn't know what or who to be more pissed off at. The fact that this night was, yet again, turning into another fight regarding Sonos in-capabilities to allow Seiji in or the fact that he was only now finding out that Sono was thinking the worst ending of their relationship was just around the corner....

He found himself zeroing in on the fact that up until this point, Sono was just trying to keep Seiji out of his emotional loop for his own personal reasons that maybe...just maybe...Seiji could crack into in order to help him. But no.

Oh no...his brain went in another direction...and Seiji found himself angry at Sono once again. The only other time he felt this mad was when he was confronted with the fact that the man he fell in love with was commonly referred to as a slut in their professional community. Except back then, his anger with mixed his confusion and heartbreak.

This was just anger. Anger and a total loss of understanding. Without even needing to take another step and without even thinking of the words he was about to say, Seiji snapped out,

"Do you realize how much it hurts to hear you say this?! Sono, for gods sakes, I don't know what you want me to say to you anymore! Every time I even come close to thinking I'm getting through to you, you push me away. I know you're scared...I know you're hurting....but those men back then shouldn't mean anything to you anymore! That man who hurt you as a kid? The one from when you were a teenager? They don't matter anymore! None of them should! You're letting all these memories get to you and you're letting them beat you! It has to stop! Why are you constantly pushing me away when you know I'd do anything for you. I'm trying to help you...but I can't do that you if you continue to shut me out....I thought you trusted me..."

"Seiji, I...I do trust you..."

"You certainly have a funny way of showing it."

Neither man said a word after that for a long while.

The air around them was thick enough to cut through, but the tension was much stronger than anything Seiji had felt before. The moment his mind wrapped around everything he had just said, he felt his heart plummet to his stomach. And it didn't help that when he looked up at his lovers face, it sank further.

There was a look on Sonos face that Seiji couldn't read at all. He looked bewildered and sad, but...numb...all at the same time. He'd never seen that face before...now he wasn't sure what to do or say to that...

Time seemed to move slowly for another long moment before Sono finally moved away from the door...walking right past Seiji and grabbed, almost violently, a pair of black sweats from his bag, slipping them on and ripped one of his lighter hoodies from the closet, threw it over his head and grabbed his wallet, shoving it into his hoodie pocket.

It took Seiji a literal second to realize what was happening. It took him even less time to react when Sono walked past him again, not even bothering to look at him.

Seiji panicked, red flags immediately waving around in his head, and reached out to grab the blonds wrist, not too tightly and words just fell from his mouth like water.

"Sono, wait. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said those things. I know you trust me. I'm so sorry. I don't know where any of that came from...I...I'm scared for you. I don't know what's going on in your head anymore. I don't like seeing you this way and I'm frustrated with everything going on at once. Please. I'm sor-"

The blond whipped around suddenly, ripping himself out of Seijis hold and regarded the man with such an angry face. Every ounce of fury Seiji had before faded in seconds just from the look all over his lovers face. Brown eyes were narrow and furious, his body flushed from the blood rush and adrenaline. He snapped, loudly, words laced in pain and anger...

"You think I'm not? Seiji, it kills me to be this angry with you or with myself. But don't tell me things I already know! I get it. I'm pushing you away and I'm sorry, but I can't help it. There are things going on in my head that I really don't want you to pry into. It's none of your business anyway and don't even think of making it your business!....I'm going to take a walk.I need to clear my head. The apartments too stuffy and I can't hear my own thoughts. Just go back to sleep. Don't let me disturb you. I know you have to be up early anyway."

Sono didn't give Seiji a chance to respond to that. He turned on his heel and threw open the bedroom door to the living room, finding his black house shoes and slipped them on before grabbing his keys. He needed to get out of here, he needed space.

Rushing footsteps caught his attention and when he turned, he saw Seiji in the hallway, a fearful look in his eyes and he practically screamed,

"Don't walk away from me! We need to talk about this!....If...if you're going out, then at least let me go with you!"

They stared at each other for a long time...longer than it probably felt before Sonos eyes softened from their sharp glare...a look of hurt taking their place. There was nothing Seiji wanted more than to wipe that look away, kiss him and try to make things better. But the damage was done. Things were said that should NOT have been said and now they were on the cusp of something Seiji tried so hard to avoid.

And when Sono shook his head, Seiji felt his heart shatter.

The blond opened the door a crack, pausing for a moment to let out a shaken sigh, muttering,

"I.....I won't be long...I promise...but Seiji please...just leave me alone."

With that, he walked out the door and closed it, leaving Seiji in the silence of his home, the sound of his heart breaking apart into pieces over what just happened. This was bad...this was really bad...oh god, what did he do? He screwed it all up.

No...no, this couldn't be how things ended...Sono said he wouldn't be long...he needed air...space...Seiji could live with that...right? This wasn't a break up...Sono just needed to be alone. He was frustrated and feeling smothered...he could handle a walk...he could handle being alone...

God no. So many alarm bells were ringing in Seiji's head. He caused Sono to walk out...what kind of boyfriend was he? He pushed and pushed now...now things were bad. He couldn't just leave his lover alone like this. Not after everything that was said.

Should he....should he call him and beg him to come home? A quick glance to the coffee table shot that idea quickly as he saw both of their phones sitting there and he let out a pained cry. What could he do? Call Yakura...or Oishi....or Yasuda...and tell them to find Sono and bring him home?

No...that was an even worse idea. If Seiji made that call, there's no telling how furious Sono would be at him. Seiji wanted Sono to trust him, but how would that look if Seiji couldn't trust his lover in return...

Tears streamed down Seiji's face as he sat himself on the couch, not entirely sure what to do. He could follow him and beg forgiveness....but he remembered that sharp dagger like stare Sono gave him before...he couldn't bare it if Sono looked at him like that again.

The only other answer he had was to wait for the blond to come home...then they'd talk. Yeah...yeah that sounded reasonable...that way both men will have had time to calm down so they'd talk like rational adults.

Seiji could live with that. But the only thing he had to worry about aside from the fact his incredibly emotionally unstable boyfriend was now alone after a horrible fight was the fact that he felt eyes on him. He shivered under the feeling.

Those eyes were livid.

\----

"Can I get a pack of Hope, please? And a lighter?"

The clerk nodded with a half smile, turning around to look for the requested smokes, all while Sono fumbled for his wallet to show his I.D, shivering slightly to himself and internally berated himself for not grabbing a thicker coat on his way out.

It was so dark outside, but not terribly so thanks to all the 24 shops around the area. It also helped that Sono was sort of familiar with his lovers neighborhood to pinpoint certain places he could go when Seiji wasn't around...like right now...after they fought...

Again...

His heart hurt just thinking about it. He knew Seiji meant well...but...he didn't need to try so hard for him. He knew that...at least...Sono thought he did.

The clerk set the pack down, along with a red lighter, taking the cash the blond gave him and regarded him with a smile, asking,

"What's got you out and about so late tonight? Work schedule? Restless? Usually I see a bunch of restaurant staff come here to get coffee and snacks before they head into work. Other times I just see a bunch of night owls, if you catch my meaning. I don't think I've ever seen you here before."

Sono had to chucked at that....yeah...even though he had been living with Seiji for a few weeks now, (was it a few weeks?) he hadn't had the energy to leave the apartment for more than just work...unless Seiji was with him. And right now he wasn't.

Really, Sono couldn't blame anyone but himself for that.

With a small smile, he waved his hand a little, mentioning,

"I'm uh....new to the area. And yeah, I've been restless. Couldn't sleep...and I uh...had a fight...with..."

"With your girlfriend? Women are so emotional, aren't they? I can understand that...been married well over 20 years and she still gets overly emotional about the little things. Don't let it get to you. I'm sure it'll work itself you....Here we go. One pack of Hope and a new lighter to kick start the day. Anything else for you tonight, sir?"

Sono blinked at the clerk for a moment before laughing to himself, suddenly put an a weird ease thanks to the mans odd words. He didn't correct him in the whole 'girlfriend' thing, but Sono supposed it worked either way.

He gave the man his money and shook his head, saying,

"No....I'm good, thanks. Have a good rest of your night."

before he left quickly, not bothering to grab his change and bolted down the sidewalk, already craving a smoke. He made it as far as a nearby alley, sitting on the bench facing the road and pulled out his new pack, tearing off the wrapper and packed it before opening it. The smell of nicotine calmed his nerves a lot more than it should've, but right now, anything would've been better than facing Seiji after the fight they had.

Trembling fingers slid a cigarette from the pack and he set it against his lips, digging into his hoodie for the lighter. His fingertips grazed the cold metal and gripped it, bringing to his mouth and hit the wick, lighting the cigarette and inhaled deeply...

Good god....he never realized how badly he needed this. The familiar taste of smoke burning down into his lungs...it was oh so satisfying. He exhaled through his mouth, smoke bellowing in front of him and he couldn't recall a time he felt so relaxed. Everything in his body released the tension and he sunk further into the bench, practically laying on it halfway before taking in another inhale of smoke.

This was nice....the quiet was nice...he could actually hear himself think again. The streets were almost empty, save for a few cars driving up and down the streets and very few people were out at 2 in the morning. Granted, he could care less about that. All that mattered at this point was the fact that he was alone, he could think clearly and he had a cigarette in his hands.

Life seemed perfect at this point....except it wasn't.

Life wasn't perfect....he was alone....true, he could think clearly, but his chest hurt...he hadn't smoked in a while and it felt good too...but he was still alone.

He and Seiji fought again...something he absolutely hated doing, but he'd be lying if he said he was comfortable with Seiji being so damn...well...the closest term he could think of was 'helicopter.' the man just seemed like he couldn't take the hint...that Sono didn't want to open up anymore about his life than he already had. Nightmares and memories be damned...he just wanted them to stop.

Fucking Takeo...always making a point to make Sono more miserable even without being there. It had always been that way. Even when they were together as young teens, Takeo had that way about him...

"Phft...nice to know things never change..."

Sono stared up at the night sky, taking another drag of his cigarette and sighed loudly into nothing. Honestly, what was he doing out here? Yeah, he needed space and he had it now...but now he just felt worse. He remembered the look Seiji had on his face as he walked out the door and Sono had to close his eyes to avoid crying. God, how could he do that...how could he ever give Seiji the inclination that he was expecting him to leave...he loved him.

Sono loved Seiji to the very depths of his soul and fighting with him, especially when it was about his lack of emotional composure and the fact that, oh yeah, Takeo was still out there looking for him...seemingly found him....god, it hurt Sono more than he thought.

And in truth...if he were being truly honest with himself...he was surprised Seiji didn't end things sooner. The fact that the man stayed with him all this time...even asked him to marry him...Sono hated himself for thinking such terrible thoughts. It was so clear Seiji loved him and only wanted to help him...but it was hard.

Sono didn't like to use the excuse that he had been dealing with these things alone for a long time, but it had become so repetitive that he couldn't stop. He wanted Seiji to see that he could handle certain things on his own and didn't need to constantly be cared for...or was that a lie too?

The blond pressed one hand to his chest as he took another drag, feeling his heart throb madly against his ribs and even turned it over to look at his ring, seeing it glow under the street lights. It seemed to shine bright in his eyes and it even caused him to sit up, flicking a few ashes from his cigarette to the pavement and just stared at it...like he was waiting for it to give him a sign.

He was cold...he was cold and was craving Seiji's embrace again. This fight they were having was stupid. Sono knew that he needed to open up more and he knew that Seiji was only trying to take care of him...even if the blond felt he didn't need to. But at the same time, he wanted Seiji to understand that when it came to Sonos emotional well being and how to deal with his past...Seiji needed to back off a bit. There was only so much he could handle....wasn't there...

Sono groaned. This was getting him no where. He had his space and time alone and now he just wanted to go home and go back to bed. He knew that the second he'd walk in, Seiji would be on him in an instant, spouting apologizes and showering him with hugs and kisses...all of which Sono would drink in and enjoy. He'd probably cry himself, hugging Seiji tight and say his own sorrys for what was said. Things would be ok. They'd be ok.

Flicking the cigarette out of his fingers after one last drag, Sono got to his feet and stretched, popping a few bones in his back before making the internal decision to return home. He missed Seiji and they had only been apart for a little under an hour. But it was time. Sono couldn't stay mad too long. Neither could Seiji.

Stuffing his pack and his lighter into his pockets once again, he made his way up the sidewalk and started to retrace his steps as to how to get back to Seijis apartment. It shouldn't be that far...the convenience store was only a few blocks away, last he checked. He'd go from there and hopefully be back in time so as not to worry Seiji further.

As he turned the corner not too far from where he started, Sono could see the small store and smiled to himself...ok, so he wasn't that far away. Good...that was good.

Each step he made towards the store, however, he had this odd feeling in the back of his head, kind of like a nagging voice in his skull. The feeling grew stronger...more vocal...the store was coming closer and closer...his heart pulsed as he felt a feeling so familiar and yet...not...

He felt like he was being followed.

Immediately, Sono dug around in his pockets and cursed at himself when he remembered that he didn't have his phone on him...shit...he had his keys...that was something...right?

He passed by an alley and stopped, feeling breathless and his nerves were on high alert...it didn't feel like a panic attack...it felt...weird. It didn't help that the nagging in his head didn't cease, but it almost sounded like a voice was trying to reach out to him.

Everything around him seemed to grow silent, cars that were driving by so quickly they barely noticed him. Sono leaned against the wall, trying to calm his breathing and get his vision to focus...he needed to go home. Something wasn't right. He was starting to feel dizzy.

The voice in his head screamed at him...desperate and scared....

.

.

.

.

.

.

_Sono....run_

.

.

.

.

.

Sono froze.

His brown eyes widened as he heard it so clearly, like the voice was right in his ear...tears pooled in his eyes and his heart stopped in his chest...it couldn't be...there was no way...it couldn't be...that voice...his voice....HIS voice...

_'My heart, my soul, my body...it's yours. Forever..'_

_._

_._

_._

_'I'll kill him if he touches you...he can't have you...'_

_._

_._

_._

_'You'll be ok...I swear...you'll be ok...'_

_._

_._

_._

_'I love you...now and forever..'_

_._

_._

_._

_'I made you a promise...I still love you...now and forever...'_

"N..Naoki...?"

His voice trailed to a muffled scream as a hand suddenly slapped over his mouth, the other gripping his wrist and pulled it against his back, dragging him backwards into the alley and further in until Sono could hear the echo of the other persons breathing. It sounded deep...deep and labored.

The blond tried to kick away from the person, but his feet could only do so much without him slipping and falling against the person, who had eventually threw the blond up against a brick wall in front of him, watching as Sono tried to regain his bearings.

Hitting the wall so quickly hurt his shoulder, but Sono was more mad than anything. His eyes whipped to the person who dragged him here, hidden under a black hood and if Sono knew any better, he would've shut his mouth immediately.

His voice, however, worked faster than his brain.

"Wh...what the hell is wrong with you?! Are you trying to give me a heart attack?! Christ, who the hell do you think you are?!"

The other person, obviously a man, simply regarded him for a long moment under the hood. Sono couldn't see under it, but there was a gaze that had Sono pinned to the wall, almost in shock, but he couldn't get over the initial irritation still coursing through him after being so rudely manhandled out of no where.

Then...the man laughed...and every bit of Sonos irritation faded in less than a second.

It was replaced with dread.

"Ahhh it's good to know you haven't lost that feisty flare after 15 years...I wonder what would happen if I tested something though..."

With such speed that Sono only could recognize from one person, he was slammed against the wall, a yelp of pain leaving his lips...only to freeze at the feeling of a cold blade against his throat. His eyes peered down to glance at the handle of the knife and his stomach dropped to his feet. Every part of his body seemed colder than ice. And the man right in front of him...he smelt...familiar...like he was wearing a really bold cologne and musk....dread was now gone from Sonos body and absolute horror took it's place.

The man reached up to grip his hood and flung it back, confirming the blonds suspicions and only then did Sono realize the absolute fuck up he committed by leaving the apartment. The man in front of him smiled, a genuine smile laced in morbid joy, as he leaned forward...blue eyes glowing bright into scared brown...a kiss to his cheek and a chuckle followed with words Sono didn't want to hear ever in his life.

"15 years....It's been too long...and I've missed you so much, babe..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We have officially hit the meat and potatoes...or have we? I don't know anymore. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy this ungodly cliffhanger!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE READ BEFORE CONTINUING
> 
> I cannot stress enough the graphic content I put into this chapter and, well, yeah. It's pretty gruesome. 
> 
> If you're easily sickened or not in the mindset to read about some serious abuse, then I encourage you to skip ahead to the near end because, my god, what have I created. Then again, it's not...like...all that gruesome but it certainly is more detailed than I expected it to be. So there's that. 
> 
> You know...just a fair warning I guess.

_"So....are you ready for me to put you to sleep, Nao? Cause I won't lie...I wasn't expecting to be here much longer."_

_"Not like you're giving me much of a choice...I should've expected this anyway."_

_..._

_"Naoki...you knew I loved him..that's why I'm doing this..."_

_"I know."_

_"And...you know...you'll always be my best friend. Even after all this...I can gather you won't feel the same."_

_"Takeo...I'll be dead. What would it matter how I feel about you after I'm gone. That's not what matters to me anyway...not anymore...just...promise me something."_

_"Excuse me?"_

_"Promise me...you won't hurt him. He's not to blame for any of this. I am. I fell in love with him when I knew I shouldn't have. If you have to go after him...just please...don't hurt him..."_

_"...I'm sorry...but I can't promise something like that. Not after what you both did to me...he deserves this just as much as you do..."_

_"Then let me make myself clear...very clear...you hurt him, Takeo...and I swear I'll find you...I don't know how...but I will...you do anything to him and I'll kill you...I swear to whatever fucking God that listens...I will find you and you will die..."_

_..._

_"Looking forward to it."_

  
  


_\--_

  
  


_~15 years ago, Tokyo Japan~_

  
  


It wasn't the fact that his roommate so clearly interrupted his solo study session about the actual and proper shades when it came to portraits...it was the fact that BOTH roommates were involved...and looked at him with looks of annoyance and of pity.

"Listen....Sono-kun...we need to talk."

Curious as ever, though feeling horribly confused, the blond took off his headphones and turned to face the two boys, brown eyes narrow as his roommates stared at each other for a moment longer, before one of them sighed, the sophomore class of their room, and said,

"I don't know what's going on with you lately...but...you've been making a lot of noise at night....when you sleep..I mean, we've only been roommates for a few months and I get that...but you're keeping us up all night...and I think it's time we talked about it."

Oh.

Well...that was certainly to be expected...at least on Sonos part. It had only been about 4 months since he left Fukushima and started school...it had been 3 months since his fight with his brother...it had been a long time since Sono was away from his family and he thought by being away on his own terms, he'd get better...so to speak.

It seemed as though his head had other plans; he couldn't seem to stay asleep without the constant tidal wave of night terrors that seemed to happen...every single night.

It started off small...sort of...with little snippets of that man here and there...then it shifted to the two men in that alley...then it became nothing but vivid memories of Takeo and that night....he couldn't handle it. He remembered waking both his roommates up with his ungodly screaming, having to have the older of the three of them hold him down and smack him until he woke up.

They didn't talk about it...they chose not to...and Sono had to credit them for avoiding the topic for as long as they had. Each of them had different schedules, with the blonds classes always being in the early morning while the other two had overlapping evening classes. They weren't friends...merely roommates, but they all got along well enough to know a little about the others. Sono thought he made a good first impression....then his nightmares fucked everything up.

Now they wanted to talk about it...Sono was not so willing.

Turning completely in his desk chair, he glanced at them for a split second before the sophomore spoke up again, trying to sound patient but clearly lacking the rest needed to do so.

"I don't know what's going on in your head at night, considering you're usually asleep when we get back. That's fine. We all know you have super early classes and we've been respectful about it...but Sono, your crying and moans are starting to get to us. A lot. We didn't say anything because it seems like it affects you more than you let on and we don't want to be hurtful to your feelings...but I gotta put my foot down. Ever since you came back from your brothers place, you've been freaking out in your sleep every night. Whether you cry or you scream, it doesn't matter. You're keeping us all up at night. Then there are times you just avoid sleep altogether and work all night, making yourself sick for the rest of that day. I'm trying to keep as calm as I can about this, but Sono...you need to see the school psychiatrist. Whatever issues you're having is clearly fucking with you in ways you're obviously ignoring. If you don't make an appointment to see her soon, then we're going to file a complaint to the dorms head of housing...we like you; you're a great artist and you're always super nice and respectful...but I need to draw the line somewhere...either you make an appointment or you find another room to stay in."

  
  


That was how Sono found himself sitting in the university psychiatrist office two days later, getting signed out of his classes, twiddling his thumbs and looking absolutely miserable. He had barely slept; the confrontation with his roommates made his anxiety sky rocket and he felt sick to his stomach. He didn't want to be here...he didn't want to talk about anything going on in head. Not since his fight with Oto...he didn't want to talk about anything...what did it matter...no one would understand anyway.

  
  


About an hour or so later, Sono had put in a request to be moved to a different room to the head of housing, with the only description stating 'irreconcilable differences with current roommates.' It was, in his mind, the nicest way of saying, 'I'm keeping my roommates up at night because I can't get my shit together and my nightmares are making my life worse.'

It didn't help that the appointment he had with the psychiatrist was one of the worst experiences he had been through in a long time. She constantly asked him pointed questions that he wasn't comfortable talking about, asking about why he felt like he was having these nightmares, what they could mean and how he thought he should handle them. She even asked him questions about his family back home and briefly considered that Sono was not adjusting well from being away from them for so long. She asked if he felt he needed to return home and just take art courses at some of the schools in Fukushima....Sono refused...adamantly. He blamed his nightmares on his depression and anxiety and that he had gone through a lot of turmoil back home and that he didn't want to face reality by this point. The psychiatrist seemed to only latch onto the words 'depression' and 'anxiety', tuning out everything else and mentioned that if that was the case, then he would have to be put on medication to help him deal with these nightmares before they get worse...her words.

She filled out a prescription...Sono never went to get it filled. He couldn't talk himself into taking medication again...not after what happened that night....

So he went unmedicated as he always did, eventually getting a room up a few stories with a senior who was about to graduate. He was nice, this new roommate. He mentioned that because he was graduating in a few months, he could help Sono with his work if he needed as he was taking manga classes while his major was digital arts.

A few months turned into another year, however....Sono only blamed himself for that.

Not because he did something himself, per say. But it was because his roommate had walked in on something he shouldn't have seen...another senior, holding his freshman roommate to his bed and violently pounded into him, calling him _'the sweetest twink he'd ever had_ ' and how _'I always thought you were a chick when we were in class...never woulda guessed you were such a queer slut.'_ Quite honestly, if his roommate hadn't seen the tears of pain and disgust rolling down the blonds face at that, he would've turned and walked out, embarrassed for walking in on his roommate and his...well...whatever this was. His roommate beat the living hell out of the guy and kicked him out of the dorms, resulting in him losing his spot in graduating and had to wait until the next term ended.

He never blamed the blond for that and eventually was able to graduate a few months before his next scheduled slot....Sono was left to this room alone for well over a year before he received a new roommate. Thing were fine...to some degree.

  
  


When Sono was a senior and on his way to graduating with his honors and a new apprentice job waiting for him at a well known manga studio, he had a mental break down, his first in a long time. His current roommate, a sophomore in classical arts, gave him an envelope addressed to him with no return sender. The blond took it with shaking hands....and screamed his throat raw when his locket fell out of it, something he felt he needed to leave back home. It was soaked in crimson, a tiny note falling out that only read ' _Tag babe....until next time.'_ An ambulance was called as it seemed as though the blond was having an absolute meltdown, crying out that he couldn't breath and held the locket tight to his chest.

From that day on, per doctors recommendations rather than orders, Sono was prescribed an inhaler and very specific medication for it, only to help with his panic attacks should they ever restrict his breathing. This was medication Sono could agree with. He couldn't overdose on an inhaler...could he? He didn't care to ask.

Why he kept his locket since that day, he never understood. It was a gateway to bad memories...but he couldn't get rid of it. Like seeing that picture reminded him of the good times they shared...only to then be shifted into horrible ones...

His first night alone in his brand new apartment was horrible. He couldn't sleep, being so jittery from finally...truly...being on his own, an adult with a new job and a new life...he could leave his past behind him, start anew...he could try to be better, be happy...

Why then did he feel like drowning himself in his new bathtub?

  
  


His life went on as it usually would. He would get his heart broken by his own volition...he would sleep with men who either asked him...or forced him...it didn't matter anyway. Because he deserved it. He deserved this pain, this humiliation...this unhappiness.

The moment he heard his name and the word 'slut' next to it, he felt that was life would be forever...because he was worthless. He could lie to himself, force a smile here and there for others who didn't know his name...but the fact was still there. He was a whore...and he didn't feel any real need to change that.

" _You know...I've heard a lot about you, Hanasaki-san. I never thought I'd get the chance to fuck an infamous slut such as yourself. I knew who you were the second I saw you. I can see whores from a mile away. The manga community is so abuzz when your name comes up...and it looks like they were right. You're nothing but a slut. A sexy one, at that. And the idea that you're a woman doesn't do you justice. Any man anywhere would be dying to fuck someone like you, man or woman. You should quit manga and sell your body...it's the only thing you have truly going for you."_

  
  


Sono had only played around with the idea to take his own life once as an adult....it wasn't anything grandiose or whatever....but he contemplated the idea of cutting his wrists like he used to do as a teenager....or put his cigarettes out on his veins, if that even did anything. He chickened out, clearly, but that didn't mean the thoughts went away...they never truly go away.

He even toyed with the thought of actually getting medication and just overdose on it the first night...but that would require a doctor visit....something Sono was not at all willing to do ever again.

So he remained the way he was for a long time. And it was only until he met Seiji Yamada that things seemed to look up for him. He was happy....wasn't he?

He knew he was in love....so in love....and being in love meant he was finally happy...it meant he was safe...it had to mean he was safe...

  
  


Doesn't it?

  
  


_~Present day~_

  
  


  
  


"15 years...it's been too long....and I've missed you so much, babe...."

It took Sono maybe half a moment to finally comprehend what was happening and even when the world came back into focus, his eyes never softened. They were wide in...surprise? Shock? Horror?He wasn't sure. So many emotions were going through his brain and coursing into his blood that for some unknowing reason, he wasn't as tilted to see the man again after so long as he thought he'd be.

That said...seeing those piercing blue eyes again...it was...bone chilling. Sono actually felt colder than he ever had in his life just looking into those eyes again after so long. He backed up further against the brick wall, wincing at the feel of the blade coming closer to his neck. The man got closer, pressing another kiss to his other cheek and whispered into his skin,

"I'm kind of surprised I found you so quickly...with all the cops running around the city and those idiotic specialists from Tokyo...you'd think they'd put you in some sort of protection program. Hehe...guess that wasn't as important as looking for me, huh? If I were you, I'd be a little insulted."

His voice....oh god....why the hell did that voice make Sonos eyes close the way they did...the closeness and the smell of him...his body seemed to remember all of that from so many years ago. But why....

The blond had to force his eyes open so as not to be caught completely off guard, but the man in front of him simply smiled, backing up a touch and even removed the blade from Sonos neck, using only the blunt ends to trace up to under his chin...like that night...so long ago...brown eyes were locked onto the man and now he could finally see what the years had done to him.

And....shockingly...and more like disgustingly....the years had certainly been kind to Takeo Mizuno...even without looking under all those black clothes, Sono could tell the man was fit to the nines. But that was probably to be expected from a man who spent 15 years running from police. His black hair was longer, maybe enough to touch the back of his neck and gently caress his shoulders, but the one thing Sono couldn't fight thinking about was that face...Takeo was still...handsome. Those blue eyes, his pale, flawless skin...how is it he managed to stay unscarred for so many years...a flush came to his cheeks; memories of when a teenage Takeo would sneak into his room at night and just hold him in bed, kissing his hair, rubbing where he was allowed to touch and tell Sono, even while he slept, that he loved him and that he always would...

Takeo chuckled at the look of utter disbelief on his captives face...he snickered to himself as he saw a bright pink blush form over such pale cheeks and could only laugh out loud at the look of disgust that followed it.

"Something on your mind, babe? You haven't said a word to me in a hot minute. You wound me...I was very much looking forward to seeing you again and you stay so quiet? Honestly, I'm amazed you've been so silent. Not a lot of people can control their voices at the sight of a blade up to their throats...but then...most people aren't you, are they, Sono?"

The blade was gently lifted from the blonds chin and sheathed back into Takeos pocket, only for a gloved hand to take its place, gently cupping under Sonos face and pulled him closer, the look in those brown eyes now starting to fill with something other than fear. Takeo grinned.

"Where's that fight you had earlier? Don't tell me that you've gone totally puppy dog just from seeing me. As much as I'd love to have you on your knees for me right now, I actually wanted us to talk to each other. But here you are, gaping like a fucking fish....say something."

...

What was he supposed to say? What was he even supposed to do....he shouldn't even be out here. Why the hell did he leave the safety of his home...his bed...his lover...

  
  


Oh...oh shit...Seiji....

  
  


Sono wasn't too sure how long he had been out, but he vaguely recalled telling Seiji he wouldn't be long. Had it been only a few minutes? An hour? Oh god, what times was it right now? He didn't have his phone...he was basically empty handed. He could try to fight back with his house keys, but then he remembered, rather...a snippet of a memory...of him trying to punch Takeo the night of his graduation...he didn't think his foot would ever recover from such shattered bones and muscles.

No...No, Sono was alone out here. Alone and trapped in a seedy alley with the madman who claimed to have his heart broken by himself...a madman who had been hunting him for so many years. Now he was here....and the blond felt petrified.

But despite that fear, another emotion quickly found its way to his vocal cords and his eyes finally softened just enough to narrow quickly. And judging from the look of glee in Takeos face, Sono could only guess what he was feeling right now was absolute anger.

Not enough to do anything, but enough to make him not quite as afraid for a few seconds.

With one hand, Sono pushed Takeo back a few steps and glared right into his eyes, entire body trembling and the other hand pressed against the wall. It took him a moment to catch his breath with the amount of adrenaline going through him, but when he did, Sono sounded livid.

He was livid...but only just a little.

"You...you have a lot of nerve showing your face to me after everything you've done, Takeo....I...I should warn you...I can scream loud enough to draw a crowd...so don't even think about touching me again...and how the hell have you not been caught? Every officer in Osaka is looking for you...and...and those specialists from Tokyo...they..."

What the ever loving hell was wrong with his voice? He was angry, but why did it sound like he was having a verbal panic attack? Why did it sound like...that night...

  
  


  
  


_"I wanna hear you fucking scream."_

  
  


  
  


Takeo grinned wildly to himself as he watched the blond go from fearful to angry then back to fearful all in around 30 seconds. It was beautiful to see someone crumble so quickly...no doubt Sono had just experienced a horrendous flashback and was now struggling to keep up this ridiculous facade of bravery. Takeo didn't mind, truly. He enjoyed seeing Sono put up some sort of a fight or face to challenge him. That's honestly what he enjoyed about these last 15 years without him. The idea and the fantasy of what their reunion would be like.

He really didn't know what to expect when he first arrived in Osaka....hell, he wasn't even sure how this plan of his truly got started...ahhh but that was a lie. Tokyo was a wonderful city to settle in for the time being and every so often he'd make the trip to Fukushima....just for kicks. Nothing too insane for his part for such a long travel.

He recalled sitting on some buildings roof and just watched his childhood city below him, watched the memories of walking these streets just hitting him full force and making him sick. A cigarette firmly placed under his lips, smoke bellowing into the air as he paced around the roof, checking ever corner he could before he knew he had to leave.

Then...when he faced the west, he saw a car....a black car...and he recognized that car. The cigarette crushed suddenly in his fingers as he watched THAT man leave the car with such a pretty blond haired woman, going into some restaurant nearby and Takeo flicked his smoke in rage....then he pulled out his locket and opened it, tracing his thumb over two faces and his anger subsided...for a moment.

Takeo liked to pride himself on his work; the people he killed were merely stepping stones to get to the main event, but ever so often, a joyous little gift would come his way in the form of a young blond haired boy....and Takeo could never stop himself. He 'spoiled' those men more than he did with the other people he took out, their screams of pain and pleads for mercy just going right to his hard on every time.

He liked to imagine them as the 17 year old he almost had several years ago...if it wasn't for the fact he was so blood thirsty, he probably would've forced him down and had his way with him before killing him. But back then, he wasn't off hand thinking about that...at first. Of course, his daddy had to show up and ruin everything.

So he spent a lot of those moments picturing the men as the blond he wanted so badly. Each time he forced his cock in their bodies, their screams and shrieks music to his ears, he pictured Hanasaki Sono beneath him, clawing at the floor and begging for him to stop. He remembered how beautifully bloody his back was after he whipped him with his belt buckle and sometimes he'd recreate that with some of the others.

But it wasn't the same....and it would never be enough for him.

So when Takeo saw Hanasaki Kenji and his wife walk into a restaurant like nothing was wrong with the world...that's when he knew he had to make his move. He had been apart from his beloved for far too long and it was time to make good on that promise he made so long ago. He knew there was a huge price on his head in Tokyo...he knew that there was a special team of officers and detectives hired just to hunt him down...but now he had something to give them a reason to work just a little bit harder.

And he knew who was funding them....he wasn't stupid...in fact, it only sweetened the pot to imagine the look on poor Hanasaki Oto's face should he discover that his team failed and his poor baby brother was killed by the very man he spent millions of Y on just to hunt him down.

Now wouldn't that be something special.

But back to the matter at hand...blue eyes locked onto the man in front of him, who was still shaking like a leaf and trying to catch his breath. Takeo tilted his head and smiled...a wicked smile...and took one step towards him.

Sono tried to take a step back, but the wall behind him proved difficult. Instead, he pressed himself closer and tried to not look as scared as he felt. His face remained stoic and angry, but goddamn, deep down, he felt like he was having a massive break down. Of all times for this to happen...why now...why where...

...Why him...

They didn't say much after a long while; the muffled sound of cars driving past the streets only dimmed in Sonos ears. His vision started to tunnel for a moment, him blinking it away just to clear his head, but quickly so as not to lose sight of Takeo.

They just...stared at each other...it was odd. Sono was expecting some major bloodshed if Takeo ever found him again (just why did he think that), but no...he just..looked at him. Those blue eyes were gleaming at him, almost lovingly, but Sono found that just looking into those eyes made him all the more afraid.

And yet he couldn't get away. He was frozen and even if he tried to escape, Takeo could easily overpower him and force him down...

Just like last time.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Sono spoke first, his voice tight and clear, a huge contrast to the pounding in his chest.

"So...you found me then...what happens now...are you...are you going to kill me?"

Takeo wasn't at all surprised by the question. In fact, he grinned a toothy grin and it made Sonos lips tighten shut. The man lifted his gloved finger to his chin and tapped it a few times, playing the part of thinking incredibly hard about his next choice of words.

"Ya know....that was the plan. But I honestly didn't expect to find you so quickly. I mean...getting your address was easy enough, as well as that number of yours...points for moving out and changing the digits, by the way. If I didn't have a small semblance of logic, I probably wouldn't have been able to track you here."

Sono bristled at that....because of course Takeo had figured it out so quickly. He had a pretty solid idea that the man had gotten his home address and number from someone in his office...the question was who and why and what was the payment for something like that. He didn't know....and he hadn't been back to the office yet to do a head count of manga-ka that still worked there.

Takeo took this silence as a cue to continue talking, though he knew why Sono was so quiet. It wasn't that difficult to put the pieces together.

At least, it wouldn't be when he took over the situation. Takeo had changed his plans the moment he saw Sono leave that convenience store. His original plan was to just take him out the second he got him alone.

But something in him told him to play this out further...seeing his beloved again after so many years caused the fire in Takeos chest that had since been on low to burst into a wild blaze. He couldn't deny that the years had also been kind to Sono...in a way. He was beautiful....perhaps just as beautiful as he was in high school.

His gorgeous golden hair that complimented his pale skin...brown eyes like glow with a honey hue in the sunlight or even when he smiled and laughed...pink lips that Takeo remembered kissing every moment he got and he suddenly craved a taste of those pretty lips again. Even under the hoodie and black sweats the blond wore, Takeo had a feeling Sono was hiding a very sexy body underneath. He was gorgeous....beautiful...Takeo felt his loins racing as his eyes trailed up and down the blonds form hunched against the wall....15 years was a long time to try and forget your first love...a love that broke your heart in such a horrible way.

Takeo and Sono had waited 15 years too long to try and move on. It was time to pay up.

With a smile that could make blood burn, Takeo opened his mouth and said,

"I've missed you, Sono...you know that? I thought about you every day, what you could be doing, what youre life is like, how you're handling things...I often wonder if you think of me too. Heh, you probably do, but not in the way I've been. But that's ok...I'm not bothered by that."

He took another step closer to the blond and grinned when the mans eyes widened a touch more. Takeo kept talking, all while pulling out the knife once again and flicked the tip a few times, blue eyes glowing bright.

"If nothing else, I plan to make our reunion all the more meaningful. After all, it's not too common for people to be reunited with their first love and say all the things they needed to say in order to get closure....ahhh but that's not what I'm here for, is it, babe? I'm not here for closure....not even close. I'm here for you....just you. And I think, deep down inside....you knew this day was coming. You knew I'd find you. You can't ever hide from me, Sono....I'll always find you. And I've been watching you for quite some time. Maybe not when you moved to Osaka, but your time in Tokyo was delicious to me. All those men who fucked you because you were so desperate for attention and affections...how sickening..."

By this point, and how Sono didn't catch it still scared him, Takeo was right in front of him, cornering him against the wall and glared daggers into his eyes. The glow of those blue eyes now darkened into stormy sapphire...with the hand not holding the knife, Takeo roughly gripped Sonos chin and forced his gaze to his, relishing in the soft gasp that came from it.

God those eyes....Sono remembered them being so full of love and care when they were younger...and now that they were full of hate...and anger...and pain...all directed at him...he still couldn't look away.

One of his own hands left the wall to grip Takeos wrist, the other still planted against the wall. Tears burned in his brown eyes as he tried hard to force the man away from him, but his body wasn't listening to him.

He pleaded pathetically,

"Takeo...please...

and the man simply chuckled, gripping his chin tighter and said, in a voice so dark that Sono actually felt his soul shiver,

"Ohhh the fun you and I are about to have, babe. We have 15 years to make up for...I, for one, cannot wait to hear you make those pretty noises again. It's the kind of thing dreams are made of....well...my dreams, anyways. What do you say? Shall we play a little tonight?"

  
  


No.

  
  


_"You wanted to know why all these things were happening all at once....you're looking at him. The one pulling all the fucking strings....and now that everything has finally fallen into place, I figured you'd want a stable foundation for your rocky as fuck mentality. Hence...taking me back...but you had to go and pull this fucking bravery shit. Well guess what, Sono?"_

  
  


No.

  
  


_"That's NOT what I wanted to hear...and now...you know what I really wanna hear?"_

  
  


No.

  
  


_"I wanna hear you fucking scream."_

  
  


  
  


  
  


**NO**

  
  


  
  


Absolutely fucking not. This had gone on too long. Sono was 100% aware of what kind of 'play' Takeo was referring to. Everything was suddenly clicking into place and his eyes widened with absolute horror. The entire span of his back felt tight, like it used to when it was healing from all the whipping he enduered from the mans belt. In fact, his whole body was starting to react from the memory of being beaten so viciously and his heart started racing under his ribs.

He had to run.

He had to get the hell out of here.

Everything in Sonos body went into panic mode. Eyes wide and a loud cry of shock, the blond roughly pushed Takeo back and tried to slip under his arm to run away. He had to get home. He couldn't be here for this anymore.

The back of his hair was gripped so tightly that it stunned him to a frozen stance. It last a mere second before he was yanked back so suddenly that he was slammed back to the wall, the back of his head throbbing along with his shoulders. He whimpered loudly, both hands cupped his head to ease the pain, but Takeo was much quicker than he remembered.

Within seconds, he felt both his wrists being gripped and lifted, a second only to understand and cry out as they were slammed against the wall above his head, the warmth of Takeos body only serving to make him feel sick to the core.

His breath was hot against his cheek, voice dripping in irritation.

"That was a cheap trick, babe. And stupid too. You know you don't want to piss me off and yet you go and attempt to escape me. 15 years hasn't made you very smart, has it?"

His grip on his wrists tightened and Sono cried out again, thrashing in his hold and whimpered loudly,

"Let me go! It hurts!"

Takeo grinned, tightening his grip even more.

"I know it hurts. That's the point. The entire point of this is to make you hurt, make you cry and make you scream for me. That threat you made earlier about being loud enough to draw crowds...good. I hope you do. That way, people can see what you truly do to me. I'll fuck you raw in front of people...I don't give a shit. I've waited so long for this moment. You are NOT going to mess it up for me!"

Takeo took Sonos left wrist tighter in his grip and slammed it so hard against the wall several times that Sono actually screamed, not being given a second to process the pain, already feeling blood from scrapped wounds drip down his arm and the bones in his wrist start to weaken from the strain.

And Takeo kept at it; he slammed the blonds left wrist so hard into the wall that the screams became constant, only fueling the mans movements for a few more seconds before he stopped suddenly...not because he wanted to...but because of something he caught a glimmer of on Sonos finger...

When Takeo froze, the blond let out a loud cry of relief, breathing heavily through the pain in his arm...but then the grip on his bloody wrist tightened and moved outward...he weakly opened his eyes to see what was happening...they widened in horror.

Takeo was glancing down at his knuckles, tracing his fingers over the scabs and bloody wound all over the blonds wrist...he was also locked onto the opal ring on Sonos finger...his blood went cold.

Of all things for Sono to not consider in this situation...he didn't even think about the fact he was still wearing his ring...the opal gem had blood splatter on it; it's usual glow had faded and Sono felt his heart crack in his chest. For a moment, he wondered if Seiji had started to look for him and prayed to whatever God was out there that the man had chosen to wait at home. Sono inwardly hoped that Seiji was still mad enough to wait it out for the blond to return and they'd yell about it later...

Then it suddenly dawned on him...

They were only 3 blocks away from Seiji's apartment...if the man had decided to go out and look for him, there would be a horribly high chance he'd find him like this...and Takeo would kill him without a second thought.

Oh god....what if Seiji had called Yakura and sent them out to look for him...he couldn't fathom the thought of the detectives seeing him in this position.

Hell, he couldn't even start to look at himself in his minds eye with the position he was in...he was scared. Scared and now in a bit of pain. He wasn't sure if his left wrist was broken or not (it didn't feel like it was), but the blood and bruises were painful enough for him.

But they weren't painful and bloody enough for Takeo....deep down, he knew that. And judging from the look the man had as he stared daggers at his ring, Sono was also fairly certain he was having flashbacks of his own....about Naoki...

And he'd be right...Takeo was having flashbacks about Naoki...but not the kind that Sono was imagining. His blue eyes stared hard at the ring, as if he wanted to just melt it to the blonds finger and cut it off...throwing it into the river. Wouldn't that be something to send to the family in Fukushima....

But it was only for a second that Takeo closed his eyes and took a hard inhale, gripping the blonds wrist so tight that blood started to ooze from the open wounds, making Sono hiss in pain, forcing himself to breath through it.

Takeo felt his blood boil; even while not looking at the ring, he could see it in his head...and he could see the very same ring Sono had at his graduation...the one Naoki gave him...he wasn't stupid. Even after Naoki died and he went hunting through the old Nazawa home some time later, Takeo found a crumpled up note the teenager had written to the blond (one of many, actually, with a lot of scratched out words), detailing how much Naoki loved Sono and how excited he was to marry him...marry him...marry him...

**MARRY HIM**

  
  


That was something Takeo was unaware about for a long time. He knew about the fact Naoki and Sono had developed some sick and twisted romance for each other in his absence...but never did it cross his mind that they actually thought about marrying each other...

It did nothing more than piss him off further. How dare he....how DARE Naoki think he could just get away with something like that. It was bad enough he stole the love of his life from right under his nose...but the thought of the two of them getting married?

Takeo practically destroyed Naoki's old room in a rage, inwardly thankful that teens father wasn't home. He only saw red. How had he not seen this coming? How could he truly not see the signs...it was so fucking obvious.

  
  


_"I did what I had to do to make sure he was taken care of and do you know why?!"_

_._

_._

_._

_._

_"Because I fucking love him."_

  
  


  
  


Takeo once again saw red even behind his closed eyes. Naoki was dead....he payed for his betrayal...but Sono here escaped him...made a new life for himself and apparently...APPARENTLY...found himself a partner, no doubt that man he saw on the boat that night. He didn't get a good glimpse of him, only seeing his wild brown hair and the fact he had Sono pressed against the boat rail. But it was enough. It was more than enough.

He had waited a long time for this day...he waited a long time to find his beloved and take him away once again...but the sight of the ring as he opened his eyes haunted him and the idea that another man had claims on something that was his...HIS....

Sono Hanasaki was HIS. How dare this stranger...this dirt...even think of taking what was rightfully his...Takeo would have to rectify that quickly.

Takeo was quiet....too quiet. And given everything Sono remembered about the man, if Takeo was this silent about something, he was thinking hard and fucking hell, that scared the blond more than it should've. The sound of the his heavy breathing sounded so much louder than it needed to be...and Takeo was still so silent. His blue eyes darkened more and through his tight grip, Sono felt the mans infuriated aura thicken around them. Brown eyes glanced at the ring on his finger and he felt his breath catch in his throat. His wrist pulsed in pain and the iron grip Takeo had was not making it any easier to breath through. Then Takeo looked up at him, eyes dark as the night sky...at that moment, Sono knew what was coming. His whole body shivered and he gulped loudly.

But to his immediate surprise, Takeo didn't yell or shout or swear at him...he simply...caressed the blonds bloody wrist and said,

"Well then...seems like I misjudged you. I mean...I saw you with that guy on the boat, but I had assumed he was just another tool for you to fuck around with. I didn't...I didn't expect this...not at all...tell me, babe....did he give you this ring?"

Sono said nothing, not at all eager to put Seiji in the middle of this hell. His eyes were wide and tears burned behind them, breathing through his nose as Takeo tightened his hold, asking without speaking, his eyes like daggers.

Takeo did not like the silence...he wrapped his entire hand around the blonds wrist and squeezed. The shock and sudden pain was enough to make Sono whimper and fall to his knees, wrist still locked in a tight grip. The tears in the back of his eyes now fell down his cheeks, moreso in agony then anything else.

When Takeo squeezed again, this time digging his nails into some open cuts on pale skin, the blond cried out,

"Takeo please!...please just stop!"

The man chuckled again, though his face showed no signs of a grin. He looked angry...so angry...like hellfire was going to pour from his mouth at any given time. Remembering the knife in his other hand and practically enjoying the sight before him, Takeo finally smiled.

One of his boot clad feet came up to press on the top of the blonds head and oh so gently (without crushing him kind of gently) smashed his face into the pavement, his body at a weird angle. With his wrist still trapped in Takeos hold and his face against the rocks and dirt, Sonos body felt even more tight than ever....it was preparing for something, but what...he didn't know yet.

He heard the blond let out a cry at the sudden pressure to his head and how his pretty face must be getting indented with rocks and dirt...Takeo tilted his head and said,

"This is a good look for you. All sluts belong on their knees...don't they. But you'd know all about that, huh? Do you want up? Is that why you're struggling?"

He didn't give the blond a chance to answer; with the same foot he slammed his face down with, the tip of his boot pressed under Sonos chin to lift up and lock a soft stare. Sure enough, there were small rocks that cut up his face, dirt all over his cheek and eyes that shot daggers at the man. Takeo chuckled again.

He liked that look, but now wasn't the time for Sono to be this pissy. A point had to be made about the two of them...a reminder had to be brought up...Takeo wasn't in the mood anymore for this bullshit.

With a grip on the blonds wrist that was more than likely going to leave him purple for a while longer, Takeo yanked the mans arms and ignored his yelp, saying with such authority that Sono could almost equate it to the sound of his fathers voice...

And oh god...where did THAT comparison come from...

"You better pay attention Sono....cause I'm only saying this once...got it?"

A pause...Takeo growled and squeezed more, hearing a loud whimper of confirmation and sighed. It was better than nothing.

"I, personally, would love to drag this out all night as much as I can...but even I have limits and I've missed you enough to make an exception for you. Every man with yellow hair I've fucked and made scream for mercy....they all paled in comparison to you, babe. And now that I found you...now that I have you in my grasp....here's how it's going to play out. You still listening?"

When Sono nodded, not even looking at him anymore, simply staring at the dirt, Takeo smirked and twisted his wrist a little, bending it back a touch and caressed his palm with his thumb. The action was so mockingly sweet and so painful that Sono bit his lip to hold back a whimper.

Takeo continued.

"I want you here every Saturday from here on...let's say...7 pm...nah, let's make it 9 pm. Give you time to say your good nights to people before you come to see me. And you know how punctual I am, so if you're even a minute late, I'll make you accountable for every second you make me wait. I won't tell you what I have planned for you....that's all part of the fun...isn't it?"

He could see the blonds other hand clutching at the pavement below him, his knees probably asleep and sore from this position, but Takeo only smiled bright at him. When Sono looked up at him, those beautiful brown eyes glistening with tears and rage, cloudy with fear, Takeo felt something jump in his blood....not to mention the pulse of his cock in his pants.

He knew what Sono was thinking...it wasn't difficult to figure out. And Sono was, if nothing else, highly predictable.

"Now...I know what you're probably thinking, babe. 'Once I get home tonight, I'll just tell my man everything that happened. We'll call the detectives and get Takeo arrested and everything will be happy ever....' you can stop that right there. Don't think for a second that it'll be that easy. I found your place of work....I found your apartment and your phone number...I found you here when you changed all that information....what makes you think I can't find out which apartment your little lover boy lives in? I can ruin you both. I can make him hate you...I can make him unable to stand the very sight of you....I can easily strip him away from you...just like I did Naoki! I can find every little weakness on him and on you! I can break him.... And that's just without me even knowing who he is...but I can find out...won't I, Sono? You don't want me to do that. You don't want me to hurt him...do you?"

Everything went cold at that. Sonos eyes were wide with absolute terror at Takeos words...not at all because of the danger of the threats he made...but because he was right.

Takeo took Naoki away from him....Takeo killed Naoki in his hospital room...Naoki died simply because he loved Sono to the very fiber of his being...he had no doubts he could do the same to Seiji if it ever came down to it.

No!

Sono shook his head violently, a cry of rage ripping from his throat and his dirty hand came to press against his head. He couldn't think like that! Did he truly think so low of Seijis ability to protect himself....

Yes....he did. Because Seiji didn't know what was happening right now. For all he knew, Sono was sitting on a bench still with a cigarette in his mouth, calming himself down after their fight and if he had any idea of what took place here...Seiji would go absolutely berserk. He'd want to find Takeo and beat him down...but Takeo was stronger and he'd kill him before he even layed a hand on him.

He couldn't bring himself to put his love in the line of fire like this. And oh god....if Yakura finds out...it'd be chaos. His family would burn Osaka to the ground...

Takeo was right...Sono wasn't going to put any of them in harms way like that, especially Seiji..he couldn't. His heart wouldn't allow him to. And just knowing that made Sono let out a violent sob and cry into his dirty palm, hearing Takeo let out a wild cackle.

It was answer enough.

"I thought as much...but one other thing, dearest. Just because you won't tell anyone out of the goodness of your conscious doesn't mean I can trust your word. I need to give you some more incentive...so here's the deal..."

Takeo yanked Sonos wrist back just a touch more and ignore the whimper that came from it...instead, he got up close to the blonds face...spoke the truth into his soul...

"If you speak a word about our visits to anyone....ANYONE AT ALL....then I'll find them...and I'll bring them here...and I'll destroy you in front of them...imagine your lover boys face twist in pain as I fuck you into the dirt...and then you know what I'll do after that?"

Takeo lifted his knife with his other hand, spinning it so he was gripping the sharp blade, not even caring about the blood slowly wetting his palm as the blade dug into his skin. He yanked the blond arm closer to him...time seemed to move slowly...and his voice was laced in hellish venom.

" **I'LL KILL THEM....I'LL KILL THEM AND I'LL MAKE YOU WATCH.** "

The hard handle of the blade came crashing down onto Sonos wrist. Everything went white hot for a long minute.

The blond let out a loud scream, feeling the bones in his wrist give and break under the pressure. When Takeo finally let him go, he clutched his broken hand close to his chest, screaming into the pavement, his face getting red from the blood rush.

Takeo backed up a touch, letting the blond scream into the ground and casually dropped the knife next to him, his palm red and wet with the large cuts in his hands and fingers. But he didn't care...not at all. The smile on his face spoke volumes already.

This was shaping up to be the best night of his life so far. Finding Sono had been tricky at first, but thanks to the power of money (and death threats to the right people), he had been more than able to find him...and ohh did it bring him such sick satisfaction to plant all those things in the blonds apartment.

Getting Naokis old uniform was the literal cake topper...it brought him such joy to steal that from Huri's strange little shrine he had in his house. But ohhh he was sure to stay close to the blonds apartment that night, just to hear him scream upon seeing it.

And scream he did. It was glorious.

Takeo peered up at the night sky for a moment, imagining Naoki looking down at the scene with a look of horror filled rage in his eyes...or maybe he was in Hell, looking up with a face contorted in agony for his slutty lover in so much pain.

Either way, Takeo didn't care about Naoki. Not at this moment. Not when the object of his obsession was screaming in pain before him...not when his cock was pressing hard against the fabric of his jeans.

Speaking of which...

With his clean hand, Takeo unbuttoned his jeans, all while not taking his eyes off Sonos screaming body, and reached into his briefs with his bloody hand, coaxing his cock out and lightly stroked himself a few times, coating his pale shaft in red blood. He grinned, moaning softly to himself as he pumped his dick, taking a few steps forward to the blond and said, in a no nonsense voice,

"Look at me, you whore."

Sono could barely keep his head up, Takeo noticed quickly. The screaming had died down to horrible whimpers of pain and Takeo found himself impatient. With a growl that bordered on a roar, he stomped over to the man and gripped his hair with his clean hand, yanking his head up and snapped,

"When I tell you to do something, you fucking do it! Do you hear me?!"

The pain in his neck was one thing, but the ache in his wrist was something else entirely. Tears streamed down Sonos cheeks, eyes red and a hard cut on his cheek from the rocks that dug into his skin. Even when Takeo yanked his head back and screamed in his face, all he could feel was the pulse in his hand, the blood that coated his knuckles and his ring...he felt sick, he felt hurt...he felt..crushed.

But the moment Sono took the risk of looking up into Takeos eyes, he whimpered again and Takeo smirked at him. That's when he noticed the pulsing shaft in front of him...and a rock settled in his stomach.

Takeos cock was thick, he had to admit. He could see that it was pale, even under the red streaks of Takeos blood. There was a small drip of precum at the tip that trailed down the length of him...Sono knew what Takeo wanted even before he said anything.

And it seemed that the man above him saw the look of realization in his eyes.

"That's right...I want you to suck my cock...lick it clean and take everything I give you. I want your mouth to taste of nothing but my blood and my cum. I want you to drink every drop and if you spill anything, then you have to start again...or...do I need to pay your little boyfriend a visit when we're done?"

NO!

  
  


Sono panicked. His eyes were glassy and wild with fear. He couldn't let Takeo get to Seiji. He couldn't. He'd die if it ever came down to that.

He'd protect him...Sono would protect the love of his life from this madman...he had to. He had to...the mantra in his brain screamed at him over and over the same words...though...his body felt weird. It felt familiar...like he had no control...like he couldn't stop himself.

  
  


_....protect Seiji...don't let Takeo find him........protect Seiji...don't let Takeo find him........protect Seiji...don't let Takeo find him........protect Seiji...don't let Takeo find him........protect Seiji...don't let Takeo find him........protect Seiji...don't let Takeo find him........protect Seiji...don't let Takeo find him...._

The blond crawled over as best he could with one hand, over to where Takeo now stood and positioned himself on his knees, gulping his nerves and closed his eyes, feeling more tears pour from them as he opened his mouth, hesitantly stuck out his tongue and pressed it against Takeos blood soaked dick.

The reaction was almost immediate.

Takeo could only chuckle to himself as he watched Sono gag and vomit against his feet, not at all bothered or surprised. In fact, his whole body suddenly felt a rush of arousal at that, his hand gripping Sonos hair and pulled him back to his crotch, not giving him any chance to protect his mouth and violently thrust himself deep into the blonds throat.

He felt the mans muffled scream around him, the vibrating motion causing him to let out a huff of a moan, hand gripping tighter into golden locks. His hips moved on their own, fucking the blonds mouth and throat with nearly all his pent up aggression. He threw his head back, black bangs over his eyes as he moaned loudly, laughing in between. He could feel Sonos throat tighten around him, hitting the back so hard he knew the blond would probably bruise there too, unable to speak well for quite a while.

His bloody hand went down to gently caress the blonds face, leaving streaks on his dirty cheeks and wiped away stray tears under his eyes, almost mocking him with such gentle touches. His hips moved faster, harder, his balls hitching with every gag he heard from below him. It had a long while since he felt this close to cumming so quickly. That boy he 'took care of' outside Sonos apartment, plus the one in...where was it...Tennoji?....both boys looked so much like him when they were in high school that Takeo lost so much control of himself.

Now he had the real thing and Takeo had never felt such euphoria in his life.

"You look fucking good like this, babe...my god...your mouth is like a furnace...so hot...my blood all over your lips...my cock so deep in your slutty mouth...I envy every man you've ever been with...they certainly got a fucking treat with you. So pretty...so so pretty...I've wanted to cum in your mouth since we were in middle school...All I ever wanted was to hold you down and fuck you until you couldn't remember your own name. Now I can....now I can and I certainly will...maybe not now, but soon...you know why?"

Both hands gripped Sonos hair and Takeo set a violent pace, ignoring the wild screams and cries surrounding his cock. The man moaned loudly, blue eyes dark as he said, so deviously,

"Because you're MINE. You've always been MINE. You'll always be MINE....Fuck I'm gonna cum. Take it all, you whore. Drink my cum and don't you spill a fucking drop!"

Takeo slammed his hips hard against the blonds lips, throwing his head back and let out such a wild groan, feeling every bit of his essence shoot right down Sonos throat.

And Sonos eyes widened in horror as he felt hot, thick cum erupt into his mouth. He screamed loudly around Takeo and finally found the chance to push the man away from him with his uninjured hand, his broken one clutching his throat and sobbed openly, vomiting up everything Takeo had given him. It burned....oh god...it burned.

His throat felt bruised and raw, the feel of such burning liquid and blood all around his mouth made him gag and let out more and more of the contents of his stomach. All while Takeo watched him, smiling...

"Oh baby....did you forget our deal for tonight? You weren't supposed to spill a drop...guess that means we have to start over, huh?"

Sono gasped, the action hurting his throat more, even as he slowly turned his head and shuddered at the sight of Takeos still hard cock in his bloody hand, stroking it slowly in front of him. Takeo smirked, his thumb playing with the head and slit, causing him to moan low and Sono felt everything in his body collapse...there was no going back from this.

He couldn't face Seiji like this...not after the fight they had about trust...what trust could Seiji ever have in him now...he couldn't...he'd have to run. He couldn't go back home after this. One look from his lover and Sono knew what would happen. He'd crack...and Takeo would kill them both.

No...no, he knew this was what he had to do to keep Seiji safe from Takeo...but going back to him was going to break his heart.

"I'm waiting, babe."

Lips still coated in dried blood, cum and vomit, Sono felt more tears pour from his eyes as he crawled back over to Takeo, let out a loud sob and allowed the man to force his cock back into his bruised throat.

  
  


_'Seiji-kun....please forgive me...'_

\--

The sky had barely started to show signs of light when Sono was finally able to keep Takeos cum and his own vomit down in his stomach. Takeo had laughed loudly and pushed the blond off him roughly, listening to his coughs and gags, but still forcing himself to not puke it all back up again.

The man didn't say much to that...he simply zipped up his pants, wet from the bottom of his jacket down from having Sono vomit on him several times over the night, bent down to pick up his knife and slip it back into his pocket. It had been quiet between them for a moment, Takeo listening intently to the blonds whimpers and sobs, the coughs he let out and thoroughly enjoyed the sight of the man so broken before him.

But...Takeo was nothing if not unpredictable. Lifting his hood, he sauntered over to the man and roughly pulled him to his feet, taking in the look on his face and smiled, kissing his cheek, whispering into his bruised skin,

"Let me get you to a clinic for your wrist...see? I'm not that much of a monster, am I?"

Time went by so quickly; Sono felt dizzy and exhausted and drained. He barely heard Takeo mention a clinic; he wasn't even aware there was one near by. He didn't know anything anymore.

But the next thing he knew when he came back to himself, he was sitting in the waiting room of a small walk-in clinic...and Takeo was gone. Every bit of horror that happened that night had settled in his stomach and Sono shook rapidly, his hands coming up to cup his mouth...that's when he noticed his left wrist was bandaged up and in a brace....his cheek was cleaned and he could feel a few scratches, but nothing major.

In a mad panic, Sono patted his stomach, feeling around for the things in his hoodie pocket...he felt his keys, his cigarettes and his lighter...Takeo didn't take anything....no...that was a lie...Takeo took something from him...he took a lot of things from him tonight.

A nurse was talking to him, but he could barely hear her. His eyes were wide and afraid and red from the amount of crying he had done tonight. Fuck, what time was it? He could clearly see the roads getting busier and there was some sunlight peeking over the buildings...he was gone all night...he had to have been...

A doctor showed up next to the nurse and asked Sono a few questions, but again, he could barely hear them. He could sort of make out the words 'in shock' and 'emergency contact'. Then they walked away and Sono was left to piece together things in his brain.

Takeo had kept him in that alley all night long...force fed him his cock and his cum...he felt his stomach churn at the memory and smacked his mouth with his injured hand, earning the attention of the worried nurse, who approached him with a bucket and a damp towel.

After what felt like hours, which was only the span of less than 10 minutes, Sono heard the sound of the automatic doors sliding open...he was about to turn his head, impulsively wanting to see who was walking in this early in the morning.

He didn't need to turn his head at all. All he needed was to hear the absolutely horrified sound of his name....it made his stomach churn again.

"Sono, oh my god!!"

The rush of footsteps assaulted his hearing, but Sono didn't get a chance to process it as he was suddenly pulled into a tight embrace, one hand in his hair and the other around his shoulders. It was at that moment the blonds vision and hearing suddenly focused; he blinked a few times, groaning at the pain in his eyes.

The embrace broke quickly and Sono felt both his cheeks being held by shaking, clammy hands...and the look on Seijis face was absolutely abysmal. His voice was no better.

"Oh my god, what happened to you?! I was worried sick! I waited up for you all night, begging that you'd come home so I could apologize! You said you wouldn't be long and...and...god, when you didn't come home, I was so scared that something happened to you!...are you alright?! Where were you?!"

Oh god, the heart break in Seijis voice...Sono wasn't even aware of just how much pain and suffering he put his lover through tonight until this very second. Everything Takeo did to him tonight...it meant nothing now. The fearful look on Seijis face made everything fall apart in Sonos brain and...and...

He broke. Sono let out a wild sob and bruied his face in the mans shirt, shaking his head and gripped at Seijis jacket with his injured hand...it was gently held by Seiji not a moment later.

"Your wrist...Sono, my god, what happened?! Did...did someone do this to you?! Tell me!"

His shouting was laced in anger and fear and it was too much for Sonos fucked up brain to handle at the moment. He shook his head against his lovers chest and gripped the back with his other hand, shivering like a leaf in Seijis hesitant embrace.

A doctor showed up and quickly briefed Seiji on what exactly happened regarding Sonos injuries.

The story was simple;

A man brought Sono in at around 5:15 am, mentioning that he found him passed out on a nearby bench. He didn't seem drunk, just exhausted and asleep, but when the man tried to wake him, Sono had apparently been jolted to a panic and tripped over the bench leg, causing him to fall and dislocate his wrist, along with a few scratches to his cheek. Nothing too major, but the doctor had noted that Sono was completely absent during his evaluation...almost like he was in shock over something. The man who brought him in quickly payed the fee for the walk-in and sat Sono down in a nearby chair before leaving. The doctors and nurses had asked Sono about his emergency contacts, but got nothing in response. When the first contact failed to go through, they contacted the second number in his file...which was Seijis number.

Sono could not believe his ears....he especially couldn't believe just how quickly Seiji was nodding and...believing every word that came out of their mouths....

Was that the story Takeo fed them...did they not know who he was at first glance...oh god...this wasn't happening...this couldn't be happening...

The bucket that had been sitting by his feet was quickly picked up by his shaking hands, vomiting into it violently and suddenly, earning everyone's attention, Seijis especially. The younger man quickly sat next to the blond and rubbed his back like he always did, cooing him softly and tried to move his hair from his face...his brown eyes narrowed when he noticed a few strands of red in his lovers golden locks.

He didn't ask about it when Sono calmed down, giving the bucket to the nurse and curled in on himself. Both men heard the doctor mentioning that he would give Sono a list of over the counter stomach relief pills just to ease his nausea. Then the doctor walked away to make said list, leaving both men in the waiting room to talk....or breath...which ever came first.

Seiji continued to rub his lovers back, leaning forward to press soft kisses into Sonos temple, instantly catching how the blond tensed hard at that. He reached over quickly to take the blond injured hand and brought it to his lips...then froze, eyes sharpening quickly and suspiciously...

Underneath the brace that Seiji could see, he caught a glimpse of open wounds that had seemed to have bled a lot until they crusted over, all across his knuckles. Not wanting to aggravate the sore wrist further, Seiji glance over it a few times....noticing that his ring was missing. When he looked to Sonos other hand, he let out a sigh of relief when he saw that it was just moved to his right ring finger for precaution...but his eyes quickly took notice that the gem was dirty...like it was patched in red...like his hair....

The look on Sonos face did not tell Seiji that what the doctors had said was true...but what did he know? They had said the blond was in shock...but from what? Why didn't that come up in the story at all?

Not wanting to overthink this more than he already had, Seiji reached over and cupped Sonos cheek, turning his head to face him and leaned forward to press a kiss to his bruised lips...

Wait a second....bruised lips?

Seiji pulled back quickly, tracing a thumb under the blonds bottom lip...it was swollen and bruised, the pink he was so attracted to not present under the purple patches. Sono eyes closed as he whimpered in discomfort, immediately sending alarm bells ringing in Seijis head.

This...this didn't seem right. The more Seiji looked over his lovers face, the less that story he was told made sense. True....true, Sono had been out all night...but he wasn't dumb enough to fall asleep on a bench...he didn't think. And the doctors said some strange man brought him in, but they didn't think to ask for the relation? Perhaps they were just concerned over the beaten man they were suddenly given and didn't give a second thought...

But...no...none of this made sense. Seiji wasn't stupid...this was something deeper than just Sono falling over some bench leg and dislocating his wrist. Dislocating his wrist didn't cause bruised lips...it didn't cause unknown red streaks in his hair...it didn't...it didn't cause shock like this...

Seiji refused to consider the obvious as he lead Sono back to his apartment, the intent of getting him into a shower and back into bed for the day, so he could rest. There was no way he could work with a busted wrist as it was...Sono knew better than to argue with that....he complied without question the moment they stepped inside.

Sono wanted some privacy as he showered, something Seiji was hesitant to allow, but nodded and kissed his cheek, telling him to go straight to bed afterwards. Sono nodded in return, walked into the bathroom and shut the door behind him, locking it....and slid down to his knees, his heart pounding in his eardrums.

Both hands against his mouth to keep him from screaming, eyes tightly closed and his whole body aching from every corner. More tears escaped his closed eyes as he rested his forehead against the bathroom floor, barely hearing the items in his hoodie pocket fall out under him...his keys, his new smokes, his lighter...he opened his eyes slowly and glanced underneath him...

He saw a small piece of paper....

With his injured hand, he pushed himself to his knees and unfolded the paper...and he felt sick all over again...

**See you next weekend, babe <3**

  
  


Seiji sat on the couch and tried to tune out the sound of Sono sobbing loudly in his bathroom, alongside some heavy vomiting soon after...tears of his own threatening to cascade down his cheeks...he didn't want to listen to his lover go through this again.

He had sent a brief text to Yasuda, asking him to pick up a bottle of whiskey for when he came over for work tonight and got a thumbs up emoji as a response...he hoped and prayed Sono would be asleep all day today, just to avoid any awkward encounters.

But his mind was racing....it had been all night. He paced around his living room for hours after Sono left, biting his thumb, waiting for his lover to come home and they would hug each other, maybe cry together and talk this out like they should have done in the beginning.

He didn't expect Sono to not come home at all....he didn't expect himself to have such horrible thoughts racing through his brain, dialing Yakuras number then deleting it every 50 seconds...he certainly didn't expect to get a call from some small clinic just up the street at 5 am, informing him that someone named Hanasaki was there and needed to be picked up...

He didn't expect a lot of things to happen tonight....today....whatever....he didn't expect Sono to look so hurt when he saw him and try to avoid his touches...

However, among all this, there was one thing Seiji did expect and it dried his tears quickly, eyes burning in anger as he finally heard the shower running, the muffled sobbing finally quieting down...

He expected to not believe that bench story for shit....and boy, did he not believe it at all...

  
  



	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE READ BEFORE CONTINUING....AGAIN
> 
> Heavy implications and themes of domestic abuse, traumatic themes of horrible miscommunication, self abuse through repressing emotions, and it's all clumped together by my shit ass writing. 
> 
> That's right, this is a basically my attempt at taking out my own emotional frustrations on my work and ya know what? It works..in a way. This chapter is for a friend of mine whose battling his own issues as well as helping me through mine!
> 
> We got this, bro! And I know you're reading this over my shoulder because that's just who you are as a person. I love you all the same. 
> 
> I hope everyone enjoys the uphill struggle this story is facing. And as always, sorry not sorry.

  
  


_Week 1_

_"You seem to be getting much better at not puking all over my cock. You must be practicing, huh babe?"_

_Week 2_

_"I forgot just how pretty your skin is...I almost feel bad marking it up so much...I wonder, has your boyfriend seen you naked lately? Hehe...he'd probably be shell shocked."_

_Week 3_

_"Ah ah ah...you remember the last time you tried to run away from me...that bruise on your foot is just a warning...I can easily break your ankle, just like last time..."_

_Week 4_

_"Deny it all you want...you really are nothing more than a cock slut...I should've guessed..."_

_Week 5_

_"This is all gonna be worth it in the end, baby...I promise...I'm not that much of a monster...you know me..."_

_Week 6_

_"I think you're just about ready for me to up our rough housing...maybe next weekend? Hehe, oh the things I plan to do to you....15 years I've waited to fuck you...I think I've been patient long enough."_

  
  


_\--_

_October_

  
  


Tea.

Tea was easy to do...right? It had to be. Water in a stove kettle, heat it up and steep tea leaves...yeah...yeah that was easy. He could use some tea right about now anyways.

It had been such a long few weeks...never mind the fact that the most stressful only came out of one day...night...evening? Whatever. That one day only furthered his anxiety to a point he wasn't sure he knew how to handle and after the first two or so weeks, he felt like everything was crumbling.

His foot hurt...a lot. It stung him and made him hiss when he put too much pressure on it..but that was his own fault. He had gotten too cocky...too sure of himself when he thought he saw an opening to get away.

But no. There was no getting away...only the harsh feeling of a foot stomping on his when he tried to make a run for it. He was pretty sure there was a nice bruise from the top of his ankle to his toes..but who knows.

The sound of running water was soothing for a moment, allowing him to close his eyes, easing the migraine the pulsed against his head. It sounded much louder in the emptiness of the apartment, being that he was alone for the time being, but still...it was nice. He needed this quiet time. Everything had been much too loud for weeks. He just wanted silence.

Another pulse gave him pause and made him hiss and gasp, gripping the counter with one hand and the other going to his hip...another bruise...wonderful. This bruise was probably big enough to cover a wide range of his skin, considering Takeo liked to kick him in that same spot...a lot. Those boots he wore were brutal on his body, steel toed and heavy. One time, Takeo kicked him so hard that he actually tried to crawl away, but was stopped with that heavy foot smashing onto his lower back. He was sure there was a bruise there too. Why else would he have issues bending and standing straight these days.

Sono let out a shaking sigh, rubbing his eyes with one cold hand and tried to get his brain back into focus. He was tired...really tired. Nothing about what was happening was making him any more motivated to do anything with his life or with his work.

Two days after the first incident with Takeo, Sono was recommended (STRONGLY recommended) by Seiji and by the doctors, to go to his publisher and discuss a scheduled hiatus due to the fact that the blond could barely move his wrist without it locking up, not to mention how he was mentally handling the situation...if one could call it that. He insisted he was fine...that he was right handed and could easily work with one hand and that he felt emotionally stable enough to continue his work and how he was eager to get his next chapter of his recent series finished and to his publisher on time...how he had been straggling for a while and needed to get back to the swing of things.

For reasons that he couldn't grasp (or rather he refused to), this response made Seiji horribly angry with him, practically cornering him in their apartment that night and demanded to know why the blond was so damn stubborn about his health and why he couldn't listen to practical advice for one second.

It shouldn't have surprised him as much as it did; Sono often liked to pride himself on hiding his emotions at the right time. But given these several months and quite honestly, the fact that he was now in the process of digging his own grave, something about Seijis tone and facial reactions made the blond cower against the wall, pushing the man back with one hand (his injured one, because of course) and snap at his lover to mind his own business and to stop butting into his professional life.

This opened a whole new door Sono knew quickly he didn't want to go through, but ended up violently pushing himself into it.

They didn't really speak more that night...Seiji simply stared at him and walked away to the kitchen, leaving a bewildered Sono still leaning against the wall, trying to catch his breath. It wasn't until Seiji returned not a minute later, inhaler in hand, that Sono immediately felt bad about his words...fuck, forget the words. The actions is what really messed him up.

In a cruel twist of fate, at the end of August, Seiji and Yasuda were attending a retirement party for a well known manga-ka on that last Saturday of the month. The younger man pleaded with Sono to come with him and that he wouldn't enjoy himself if he spent the whole night knowing he left the blond alone. Sono politely declined, claiming he was tired and wanted to turn in early and told Seiji to have fun.

The sad smile on Sonos face made Seiji internally hate himself as he kissed him goodbye and told him that he's text him when he was on his way home. Sono nodded and waved as Seiji left, only to lose his smile and bite his lip, turning his attention to the clock.

Just 15 minutes...

He couldn't remember a lot of what Takeo did to him that night...it was usually the same thing. He'd force Sono to his knees (he was sure his skin was scrapped up by now) and force his cock down the blonds throat, mockingly praising him for being able to hold back any sickness.

The same rules always applied: if Sono was unable to keep Takeos cum down (vomiting included) then they would start over and would continue to do so until the blond could do it properly. By this point, he forced his body to handle it and absolutely despised himself for it.

If it ended quickly, then Takeo would just delight himself in beating the blonds body until it was black and blue, telling Sono that he was just getting out all his anger and frustration before he could really channel out his desire for him again. How it made sense, Sono didn't know, but he knew better than to ask.

The only thing Sono was grateful for was the fact that Takeo had not touched his face, save for his 'soothing' caresses here and there. It was easy to hide bruises and scrapes under his clothes...and it certainly helped that he and Seiji had not been intimate in a long time.

And that....that right there...that broke Sonos heart more than he ever thought possible.

Ever since that first night, Sono made his mission to never allow Seiji to see him naked or even shirtless. The idea that the man could find his bruises and start hunting for answers made Sono sick every time he thought about it.

He had been doing a fair job of keeping himself covered whenever Seiji was around, but given how touchy the man could be and his young libido often made things difficult to ignore, it was becoming harder for Sono to say no to him.

But he had to. For Seijis safety and Sonos slowly deteriorating sanity, he had to pushed Seiji back every time. And as he imagined, this opened that door again and the blond wanted to just curl into a ball and die.

Seiji never accused him of anything...at least...not to his face. But he knew that the man was obviously suspicious. Even more so when he went to simply give Sono a hug...the blond yelped and stepped away from him, earning a hurt stare. The blond would brush it off and only say 's-sorry...you startled me...'.

For several nights since then...both men went to bed at different times. Seiji claimed he felt he was making Sono uncomfortable with his touches and while the blond tried so hard to fight that...he couldn't.

There was nothing more that Sono wanted then to just have his lover hold him close. His missed the feeling of Seijis hands on his skin, caressing him and making him feel safe from everything. But he knew he wasn't safe and by extension, Seiji wasn't safe either. He knew that the moment Seiji would hug him, kiss him and coo in his ear like he often did when Sono was stressed, the blond would break and tell him everything.

He couldn't do it. Takeo made it very clear that he had an idea of where Seiji lived and worked...how he could easily find his name and use that to his advantage should Sono ever step out of line.

So the blond would turn away from his lovers affections, his heart cracking every time, and could only imagine the look of pain all over Seijis face when he did.

When September came and the weather started to get chilly, it only served to make Sonos depression and fears grow at such a rapid rate. Not to mention the cold did nothing to help his aching body.

He was feeling touch starved, occasionally rubbing his own arms to get some sort of friction into his body. He craved Seijis hugs, wanted to just throw himself at the man and beg for a kiss, something to make him feel not so hallow.

But he was weak...he was weak and Seiji didn't seem to want to acknowledge it. The man had been making it difficult to look at him these days without a sharp stare. They were not doing well...that was obvious.

He knew that a breaking point was coming...it had to. He had been avoiding his lovers touches and affections for so long that he was honestly surprised Seiji hadn't blown up at him about it yet.

However, as much as he tried to delay the inevitable, it all hit much too soon one Thursday afternoon. He mentioned he wanted to try and get some work done today and would appreciate Seijis input on his pages. So he worked in silence while Seiji was in the living room flipping through his notes, occasionally looking over to the blond, seeing him hunched over and could hear his heavy breathing...labored and harsh as it was. Sonos inhaler had made itself a new home at the corner of his desk, easy access should he ever feel short of breath while he worked...which was often and Seiji could not understand why.

Well....he could, but he also knew not to confront Sono about these things. The last time he did, Sono snapped at him to basically shove it and leave him alone...so he had. Not that he was happy about it.

But watching the man struggle like this, stopping every few seconds to rub his aching wrist and massage his temples, knowing that Sono was pushing himself too hard for fuck all knows why....Seiji had enough of it.

He practically threw his notes onto the couch and stomped over to the blond, gripping his other wrist and yanked him out of his chair, much to Sonos surprise...and understandable annoyance.

"Wh-what are you doing? I was busy! I need to get these pages done!"

Seiji was far beyond the point of understanding to let Sono snap at him again...but it also seemed like he was not totally aware of his actions.

He gripped the blonds wrist tighter, making him gasp, eyes wide with shock. Seiij huffed and simply said,

"You have been working on the same pages for the last month and a half. If you think I'm going to sit by and let you kill yourself like this, then you're fucking stupid. Don't think I can't see what's going on, Sono. If you're seriously hurting like this...then you need to stop. I've had enough. Get your jacket."

The annoyance Sono had was quickly gone, fear creeping up to his throat as Seiji released his wrist, turning to throw on his jacket and rip the blonds from the rack, tossing it to him. Sono only stared at his coat for a moment, eyes unsure as he asked quietly,

"Wh...where are we going?"

Seiji turned to regard him with a sharp glare, eyes like daggers and Sono flinched under the stare, putting his jacket on without another word. He limped over to the younger man and risked a glance at him, only to see that Seiji was slipping on his shoes and grabbing his keys, eyes nearly dark with frustration.

It was only until Sono slipped his house shoes on that Seiji finally answered his question.

"We're going to talk to your publisher..."

The tone in Seijis voice left no room for argument.

  
  


Sonos publisher was obviously concerned about the situation, not that Seiji gave him a reason as to why. It was pretty clear as it was.

The older man had expressed his worry about how Sono was constantly late getting his work in and how he had turned down help from his assistants, something he knew the blonds never did. True, it was not uncommon for writers to be late submitting their work...that's the nature of the writing world. But Sono, when he knew he would be late, would almost always send an email or some sort of communication to his office and sure enough, the pages would be in after a 4 day stretch. It was something he had to in order to keep his face and name hidden...for obvious reasons.

For Hanasaki Sono to be months late with no notice, not to mention the defeated look in his eyes and the fact he was brought in by a manga-ka from a different publication...of whom had the most scariest brown eyes the older man had seen on someone....it was jarring.

After what felt like an hour of convincing, it was declared that until Sono could settle whatever was going on with him, he would be put on a temporary hiatus until further notice. A mass email was sent out regarding the issue (changing him to her for P.R sake), and that was that. The two men left and returned to Seijis apartment without a word. The air between them was so tense that people seemed to sense it as they walked by, giving them a strange look and Seiji heard a few comments regarding the way the blond was limping. It fueled his anger, but he didn't say anything about it.

At least...not until they were behind closed doors.

Seiji barely waited until the front door was shut and Sono made his way to his desk to clear his papers...he was pretty heated himself it seemed.

"Are you ever going to tell me what the hell's been going on with you lately?"

A long pause...Sono sighed.

"I...I don't know what you're-"

"Don't give me that crap. You must think I'm so stupid. Is that it?"

Sono swallowed the lump in his throat, turning to look at his lover with a downcast look, not wanting to see the anger in Seijis eyes.

He caused this...he was at fault...he knew this would happen...

"Seiji...I...I don't think that at all...it's just..."

"For all the times you tell me how much you trust me, you have a pretty messed up way of actually meaning it. I'm beginning to wonder how much of what you say is true."

Damn.

That was a blow to the heart.

Sono gulped again, his injured hand going to his chest and closed his eyes, taking deep breaths to try and stop a major anxiety attack forming. Confrontation was not his strong suit.....and confrontations with Seiji always made him weak.

Especially when Seiji attacked him with the obvious truth...but not the whole truth.

"I'm not blind, Sono. I can see you're in pain over something but you're not telling me what it is. That alone disproves any trust you say you have in me. You know I want to help you...I've been giving you space like you wanted so you could hopefully find the words to tell me what's been going on. But now you're just avoiding me."

Sono barely registered the fact that Seiji was walking up to him, into his bubble and god, why did that scare him as much as it did? He backed up against his chair and gripped his shirt with his trembling fingers, unable to hide the fear in his eyes. Seiji must've noticed it..his gaze softened, but not to a happy one.

"See? You're afraid of me. I can't even get close to you without you looking so worried. I haven't held you in months because you always make it seem like it hurts you. I've been trying to be understanding towards your feelings but now I see I don't even know what your feelings are anymore. I try so hard to make things easier for you...all those times I held you through your panic attacks and episodes...you're giving me the idea that it wasn't worth it. That you're not even trying to let me in anymore. Sono, just talk to me. What's going on with you. Why are you avoiding me. What can I do to make things better for you."

They were questions, but Seijis voice meant for them to sound more like requests....commands...Sono felt shaken by that tone.

The bruise on his lower back sent waves of pain through his body as it was being pressed harder against his desk chair. His chest started to hurt...he felt his lungs struggle to take in air. His eyes widened and his vision suddenly distorted.

Seiji was no longer in front of him...Takeo took his place, that dark grin and that blade in his hands. The apartment suddenly turned into that alleyway...the air that Sono tried to force into his lungs was blocked off by the memory of Takeos cock lodged in his throat, that teasing cackle in his ears...a voice reaching into his brain...a voice that wasn't Takeo...

"Sono? Are you still with me? Hey...hey! Look at me! Keep your eyes on me! Breath!"

His vision suddenly focused like a gust of wind....and he was back in the apartment. Everything came back into reality and he felt completely wrecked in a lot of ways. But what he focused on quickly was the fact that he was suddenly pressed against a wall, a hand on his cheek...another under his shirt and a soft rubbing on his bruised hip.

His wild eyes focused on Seijis worried stare....they were close enough to kiss...and Sonos brain immediately short circuited.

He screamed loudly, struggling to get out of Seijis hold and irritated every single bruise on his body. The younger man was clearly baffled by this, but his anger came back in full swing as he tried to calm the blond down.

"Sono, relax! It's just me! It's ok! Look at me, it's ok!"

Both hands came up to cup Sonos cheeks and face...that was apparently the wrong thing to do. The sound Sono let out was unlike anything Seiji had heard in his life.

Then, he screamed,

"DON'T TOUCH ME!"

and the following slap across his face felt more like a knife to his heart.

The sound vibrated around the apartment. Seiji stumbled up against the blonds chair and rubbed his cheek, hissing at how hot it felt against his hand. He quickly turned his gaze back to the blond, who stared at him with such fear and disbelief, occasionally looking at his own hand in shock.

It was suddenly quiet.

The air felt hot.

Seijis gaze sharpened hard at the blond against his wall.

A panicked voice in his ear and a chill across his head only served to fuel him further.

.

.

.

.

_....No....Seiji don't...he didn't mean it...don't hurt him.._

.

.

.

.

For the first time in his 22 years of living, Seiji felt rage unlike anything he had felt before. He couldn't even compare it to the anger he felt at Yasuda when he spouted out those things about Sono only months ago. This rage was different. This was painful...

It was heart break.

In a matter of seconds, Seiji rushed back to the blond and pinned him hard against the wall, ignoring his cry of shock and fear, gripping his chin with one hand and slamming his uninjured one above his head. His eyes were fueled in fire and now he couldn't stop himself. He was angry, he was livid...he was hurt.

The love of his life hit him. His brain couldn't wrap his head anything else other than the fact that Sono hit him. He didn't even process the fact he was hurting the blond in return.

At least...not at first.

"You think this is a fucking game?! You think that just because you have this mental incapability that you can just do or say whatever you want?! I'm not going to do this anymore! I've put up with this for as long as I can take! I've done everything I can think of to help you and you go and hide things from me! How do I know you're not just faking this and that you're seeing someone else?! Is that it?! Is this entire thing you're doing just a ruse so I can continue to hurt my heart for you?! You better tell me now because I cant put up with this anymore!"

Once again...it was quiet.

Seiji was almost positive he could hear his neighbors pounding on the walls and he was nearly certain on of them said something along the lines of 'call the police...' That seemed to clear his head a little bit. The wet streaks on his hand helped a bit as well.

The fog in his vision faded and the sight in front of him made his heart drop. He gasped and felt his whole body plummet as he finally took a moment to see what had happened to them.

The hand that had been gripping Sonos chin had somehow moved to his neck, practically choking him as he held him against the wall. His other hand kept an iron grip on his wrist...it took him a moment to notice the blonds injured hand gripping his wrist tightly...eyes pleading...

Brown eyes were wet with rivers of tears, strained gasps of air and sobs left his red lips. It was at that moment Seiji let out a cry of his own and released him in a hurry, backing up quickly as Sono slid down to the floor, gripping his throat and gasped for air, tears cascading down his face.

Sonos entire body was trembling and the sounds that came from him were ear shattering; Seiji didn't know whether to comfort him or stay away from him...

A feeble sound reached him and Seiji struggled to make his way to the man, unsure of how to approach this. He made it halfway to the trembling man on his floor, who had since curled himself into a ball, before another loud cry ripped through the silence between them.

"....end it...."

Seiji blinked....Sono shot his head up and his eyes were completely red with tears, anger and pain all over his face...the younger man felt his heart snap.

"If you can't put up with this anymore, then just end it! You've always wanted to anyway! I've been nothing but an emotional burden to you! I always have been! You haven't been able to fully trust me anyway! Because of what I am to everyone! You knew that from the start! That I'm-!"

Sono froze when he felt a harsh grip on his shoulders, not even realizing Seiji moved in front of him so quickly and practically burst his vocals yelling at him.

"Don't you finish that thought! Don't you even think it! You know that's not true!"

"Yes it is!! Say it, Seiji! Call me a slut! You've always wanted to call me that! Because it's true! Maybe you can't trust me! Why would you want to trust an baggage ridden whore?!"

  
  


**SMACK**

  
  


Silence

  
  


Sonos head recoiled to his left, throwing off his balance as he fell to the floor, clutching his cheek and whimpered to himself, tears in his eyes and entire body trembling.

From above him, Seiji stood with his hand stinging from the slap, his breathing heavy...his eyes wide with horror at what he had just done. When Sono looked up at him with those tear filled eyes...it...it was too much. Seiji felt everything in him suddenly collapse. He let out a cry of disgust and ran out of the apartment, ignoring Sonos cries for him to come back. 

That was the first time in a long time Seiji ran out on him like that...leaving him alone in the apartment with tears in his eyes.

He ran as far as a nearby park and seated himself on the bench, hands in his hair and tears in his eyes, unable to cope with what he just did...what he had said.

In a moment of weakness, he called Yasuda and broke out into a rant over the last few moments...it turned into Seiji venting about his frustrations and fears...he told his best friend about their fight and how they hit each other...how Seiji avoided the situation...how he felt disgusted that he ever let it get this far.

Unsurprisingly, Yasuda gave the best advice he could give, but not exactly in the form of advice...he berated Seiji for his actions and called him out for acting like a jack ass, for not taking the time to understand where Sonos emotions were (even though he himself didn't even know) and, of course, calling them both ridiculous for hitting each other. He mentioned that while he understood (sort of) that bottling up all that anger can be explosive when it eventually comes out, it's no reason to hurt someone you love in such a way.

Seiji agreed, listening to his friend call him names and inwardly loved that it was happening, that he had someone to be this brutal and honest with him. He needed it. He felt like he needed to be yelled at because obviously Sono wasn't going to do it (while...not until tonight).

When Yasuda calmed down and took a breath, asking if Seiji was just in another room of the apartment, the man said no, that he panicked and ran out to the park after he hit Sono in retaliation.

Then came something Seiji didn't expect...Yasuda shifted from the asshole friend he normally was and suddenly morphed into something of a concerned human being...and he had been seeing a lot of that lately.

' _Hold on...he hits you...you hit him...and you just LEFT HIM ALONE?! Are you an idiot?! Seiji, I may not know what's going on, but Sono is not in a good place to be left alone like this! Especially if what you told me is true! There's no telling what he could do to himself! I'm not justifying anything you two may have said and done, but Seiji, my god, he's already hit such a low! You cannot leave someone whose suffering like that by them self! Get your ass home to him and talk to him, for fucks sake! Stop him from doing anything stupid!'_

Yasuda hung up on him....and Seiji ran home in a little under 5 minutes.

While he was unbelievably relieved that Sono hadn't done anything to himself in the short time he was gone, he didn't like that the blond hadn't moved from his spot on the floor and was still crying, holding his cheek and trembling. When they locked eyes, the blond tried to scurry away from him, nearly getting to his feet and ran into the bedroom, slamming the door when Seiji tried to follow him.

Since then, for a few days, Seiji had taken to sleeping on the couch (if you could call him laying there with his mind racing sleeping). He had taken some personal time to try and deal with this, avoiding calls from his publisher and had even ignored calls from Yakura and Oishi, the latter who later sent him an email that only made Seiji feel worse about this entire situation.

  
_To: yamada.seiji@xxxx.com_

_From: muito.oishi@TokyoPD_

_Subject: Is everything ok?_

_I received a call a few days back regarding a noise complaint at your apartment..._

_The caller said something about a domestic disturbance....I didn't document it like I should have and Yakura-san doesn't know about it...I wanted to ask you about it first._

_Is everything alright with you two?_

  
  


He never responded to the email...he ignored it and everything around him...

Sono hadn't left the bedroom in days....if he had, he made it a point to avoid being seen by Seiji to push away any conversation. And it was only until he woke up sobbing uncontrollably some time later that he couldn't ignore this any longer.

It was late, probably past 2 am, when he left the bedroom, slowly walking over to a sleeping Seiji on the couch and just stared at him, tears dripping down his cheeks. It only took a few moments before the young man felt that he was being watched and slowly opened his eyes, looking up to see his lover standing over him, silently sobbing and clutching his arms, shaking.

He sat up quickly, asking,

"Sono...what is it? What's wrong?"

The blond said nothing, shaking his head and bit his bottom lip, one hand coming up to wipe his eyes. Seiji was on his feet in seconds...hesitantly approaching him...taking note that he didn't flinch or move away.

After a moment of sickening silence, Seiji reached his hand out and asked in a soft voice,

"Can...can I touch you?"

Sono only nodded and closed his eyes when he felt Seijis hand on his cheek, running his thumb under his eye to wipe away his tears. His skin tingled, elated that his love was touching him again, if only a little...but it wasn't enough. More tears poured down his cheeks as Seiji moved a little closer, still keeping some space between them...

Then he asked,

"I'm going to hold you now...is that ok? Are you ok with me getting this close?"

This time, Sono didn't nod or give any noise...he instead closed the space between them and rested his head on his lovers chest, sobbing into his shirt. When he felt Seijis arms gently wrap around him...his heart exploded, along with the damn that kept his tears back.

They embraced like that for the rest of the night...and somehow, Sono didn't feel any better about anything...in fact, he felt worse.

  
  


The feeling of hot water on his hands drew Sono from his thoughts, jerking him a little and looked down to see the water he started overflowing the tea kettle, running over the hand he used to keep the kettle in place in the sink. How long had he been zoning out for...he blinked a few times...his eyes hurt. That long, huh.

With a sigh, he turned off the water and drained some of it from the kettle, closing the top and limped over to the stove, setting the kettle on top and turned on the burner, listening to the hiss of the water. The silence in the apartment was suffocating, but he didn't feel the need to do anything about it.

The tv made him nervous and his phone had been put on do not disturb for quite some time. He didn't feel the need to talk as it was...even to his own lover...Sono cringed and rubbed his arms, once again craving that warm touch. Since that night, every moment since, Seiji was overly careful about touching the blond in every way possible, asking if Sono was ok with the touch and only moving forward at the blonds pace. Their fight was still fresh in both their minds...Sonos cheek still stung where Seiji hit him and he had no doubts Seiji felt the same.

They barely slept together; Seiji didn't seem to trust himself anymore when it came to curling up next to the blond at night, afraid that he might set him off in his sleep by just spooning him. Sono hated that this is what their relationship had become.

And it was his own fault.

He barely heard the sound of the door opening and closing, a bag being set on the couch and footsteps making his way to the kitchen. They were careful, soft and almost tip toed as he heard a soft intake of air...Sono closed his eyes. He didn't have the energy for this anymore.

He registered Seiji walking up behind him, pausing right as he got too close and heard the usual question,

"Can I?"

Sono nodded and flinched when he felt strong arms wrap around his shoulders...not his waist like he was used to...but the warmth was still there...it wasn't enough.

Seiji pressed himself closer, chancing a soft kiss the back of the blonds ear, whispering,

"How are you feeling today? Can...can I do anything?"

This was a common question Seiji had started asking, mainly because Sono had flat out refused to talk to him. It wasn't so much that he didn't want to...his voice wouldn't let him. Their fight had Sono in a dark mindset that anything he said or could say might set Seiji off and they'd hurt each other again...it's not what he wanted...but he was too numb to change it.

Instead, he shook his head, but lifted his hand up to grip Seijis arm, silently asking him to stay like this a little longer...Seiji smiled a little and nodded, chancing another kiss, this time to the blonds neck.

They remained like this in silence for a while until the kettle started whistling. When Sono moved to turn off the stove, Seiji stopped him and gently took his hand in his, kissing the small scars over his knuckles and said,

"Sit down. I'll make you something soothing....ok?"

Sono obeyed without question, sitting at the table while Seiji moved to their tea cabinet, pulling two boxes of loose leaf tea and poured some water into a mug. Within seconds, Sono could smell a sweet smell of lavender and honey...it actually made him crack a smile.

A steaming mug of tea was placed in front of him a moment later; he looked over to see Seiji smiling at him, leaning down to kiss his head before getting to his knee, hand moving to cup his cheek and whisper,

"I...wanted to talk to you about something...you don't have to talk back if you don't want to...but...can we sit for a minute and you can just listen?"

A soft nod was his reply and Seiji's smile faded when he saw tears pooling in those beautiful eyes. This was such a common occurrence that he wasn't even sure where to go from here onward. They had already been through too much. Seiji didn't have it in him to fight or yell or even raise a hand to Sono ever again. They had hurt each other....he needed to make things right.

The blond whimpered when he felt Seiji step away from him, only to see him make his own cup of black tea before sitting across from him at the table...there was a look in his eye...Sono didn't like that look.

"Listen...I've been...doing some thinking...Sono, these last few days....they...we...we can't keep doing this to each other. I love you so much...and you know I would do anything for you...but I can't bare to see you like this. That fight we had...I...I broke a promise to you. I promised I wouldn't hurt you and I ended up hitting you...I could care less about you hitting me first. I probably deserved it for behaving like an ass...but Sono...I'm really worried about you. You've barely spoken since that night. I know you're keeping something from me and I'm trying so hard to not be pushy...but..you need to see things from my perspective...I don't know why you're acting this way and it's scaring the hell out of me...and...don't think I haven't noticed that you haven't worn your ring since I brought you home from the clinic."

Oh shit.

Sono blinked for a second and looked at both of his hands...then he remembered he left his ring on his nightstand...it hadn't dawned on him that he hadn't put it back on when his wrist brace came off. The fact that Seiji noticed was already bad enough...but for Sono to not realize that until now...well, then again, in the back of his mind, he knew he was leaving his ring at home when he went to see Takeo...he didn't want anything to happen to it. But he thought he was always reminding himself to put it back on the moment he came home. 

Was he truly losing his mind?

"Sono...focus on me. It's ok. I'm not mad...I'm just concerned. During the week, it's like I can barely talk to you and whenever I see you, you're like a zombie and you barely acknowledge me...but I think I see a pattern...so I have to ask...Sono, I noticed that you're always going out late Saturday night...like at 8 or so...and you don't come back until almost midnight. Sometimes later. Normally, I wouldn't question you because it's your life and I like to think I can trust you...but now...it's difficult. I didn't want to ask you this because I didn't want to hurt you, but I think we've well gone past that point."

Seiji took a deep breath, mentally preparing himself for the shit show he was about to unleash.

"Are you...seeing someone else? Is that why you're so hesitant to let me touch you? Is that why you won't let me get near you unless I ask?"

This was, far and away, the dumbest question Seiji had ever asked someone in his life. Not because of the accusation and anything that could come of it. He had muddled this in his head for a while now.

But it was dumb because he knew it was true...just...not the way others would think. The look on Sonos face was telling enough as it was. Eyes wide, breathing short and body shaking even from where he sat. Seiji felt his heart plummet.

"I see. I didn't want to consider it...but...at least it makes sense. We haven't done much of anything in a while so I had assumed something was going on with you. Then you start going somewhere every Saturday and come back looking all kinds of wrecked. You won't let me touch you and you freak out on me, telling me to just end it...it's bringing back a lot of memories of that night you came by and...almost made me break up with you because of what you put yourself through...Sono..it hurts me to even see you like this and it's breaking my heart that you can't trust me enough to tell me what's even hurting you to begin with. I could push this off as you not being able to handle your emotions and things like that, but this has gone beyond repression. And...I don't know what to do for you anymore."

The kitchen was deathly quiet.

Seiji took a small sip of his tea, not trusting himself to look into the mans eyes at the moment. Honestly, he didn't need to, considering he heard the sob before he even saw it coming.

Sono sat there with wide eyes, gaze locked to Seiji and holy fuck...he looked crushed. The sound of his voice...Seiji regarded him with his own surprised look, not expecting Sono to actually answer him. But he did.

And the question he asked was reasonable...but nonetheless hurtful.

"A...are...are you...breaking up with me?"

Seiji gulped down the lump in his throat, already feeling tears of his own burn the back of his eyes. He slowly reached over the table and placed his hand onto of Sonos scarred one, rubbing his knuckles and calmly asked,

"Is that what you want me to do?"

YES

Yes....Sono did want that. It's what needed to happen from the start.

Seiji didn't deserve all this. He didn't deserve a partner who was carrying so much baggage. Between his slutty past and his childhood trauma coming at him full force, it was no wonder Seiji had thoughts of leaving him. It shouldn't even surprise him as much as it did.

Everyone left him in the end anyways.

His family hates him...he was sure of it. His fight with his brother solidified that fact in stone and no amount of interviews he watched where his brother seemed genuinely remorseful of the past could change his mind now. No doubt he had told their parents and Miyuki about what had happened...his father probably regrets ever saving him from Takeo now.

Naoki left him....true, he died, but he still left him. Takeo took Naoki away when he needed him the most. And in return, Takeo broke his heart by beating him to the cold classroom floor, taunting him with the humiliating truths about what happened up to that point.

It left Sono scarred, whether he wanted to admit it to himself or not. He couldn't trust people...and yet he still allowed himself to sleep with men who could easily hurt him...which some did. Many of them did. The very few he could call 'boyfriends' left him the first chance they could and over the years, Sono built a wall around himself to avoid feeling broken.

Then Seiji came and tore down that wall. And Sono thought he felt happy for the first time in years.

But now it was happening again...the reality that Sono was far too damaged and hurt to truly be happy with himself. And if he wasn't happy with himself, how could he ever expect Seiji to be happy with him. Seiji deserved better.

So yes...this was for the best. Seiji was still young. He could find a young girl or something to make him happy. This way, he could be spared from Takeo and Sono would take the hits for him, continue to, anyway. If he died (which he would), perhaps Seiji would morn him...he wasn't sure. He knew that if he told Takeo that the love of his life left him, just hearing Sono say it like that would send Takeo into an unholy rage...he'd probably kill him then and there without even trying.

And Sono would let him. Because what else did he have left in his life anymore. Perhaps that man he met before Seiji was right. He should retire and just sell his body...he should retire and give himself to Takeo...it was the better choice for everyone.

.

.

.

.

_You're lying to yourself_

_._

_._

_._

_._

....No...

No....Sono didn't want this relationship to end...not like this.

He loved Seiji too much to even consider such a horrible thought. And he knew Seiji loved him. Why else would he have stayed for as long as he did.

He didn't want to die...there was still so much he wanted to do with his life...he wanted to continue his career....he wanted to grow as a manga-ka and one day sell his magnum opus, something he could retire on should he have the chance to.

More over...he wanted to be Seijis husband...he wanted to start a life with him and make that eternal promise to love him. The proposal had long since left his mind when this Takeo shit started and now that Seiji was bringing up the possibility of ending things...he remembered how happy he was that night. He remembered the look in Seijis eyes when he proposed and kissed him on the boat ride, not caring if anyone was watching them.

He thought back to the most passionate sex they had in a long time...it made Sono forget about everything except their love for each other. The way Seiji handled him was unlike anything he had felt in years. He never could recall a time where he came more than twice in his life and the fact Seiji was able to truly satisfy him the way he had...Sono wanted more nights like that.

The gentle moments where Seiji was nothing more than his lovable self, never too much and never too little. The way he embraced him when he needed comfort without voicing it...the way he kissed him and said that he just wanted to. When they slept together, Seiji would hold him close in bed and kiss his hair, whispering that he loved him...little things that made Sonos heart melt.

He wanted more of those moments. He wanted to be the last person Seiji saw when he closed his eyes...the first person he saw when he woke up...he wanted to repay all the love and support that Seiji had given him these last few months. He wanted to be a good boyfriend....and eventually, a good husband.

But life had ruined him; it ruined every ounce of trust he had in himself. He couldn't blame Seiji for being so upset with him. He had done this to the both of them and he deserved every bit of pain that came at him, physical or emotional.

Perhaps...for Seijis sake....he could try a little more to make things better. Even if Takeo did kill him one day and probably one day soon...Sono could try and make the most of his time with the love of his life...

Because that's what Seiji is to him...his one and his only. Till the day he died.

  
  


Seiji could tell by the waterfall of tears leaking from his lovers eyes that Sono was fighting against himself in his head. Not to mention the look of utter pain written all over his face. He was honestly a little baffled by this response, but he couldn't help but smile at him. He knew what Sono wanted. The answer was so clear in his reactions and his watery eyes. Try as hard as he might to lie and make himself admit it, Sono knew that a break up was not what he wanted.

Seiji didn't want that either....but he needed to be sure he and Sono were still on the same page in some aspects of their relationship.

With a soft sigh, Seiji stood and walked over to his lover, pulling his chair out from the table to make room for himself. He got on one knee in front of the blond, who regarded him with a wide eyed stare, tears still leaking down his cheeks. Seiji only smiled and cupped Sonos face with his hands, wiping away his tears and felt his heart compress when he saw the blond visibly relax.

The man then took Sonos scarred hand and pressed it against his own cheek, feeling his warmth even though his hand was trembling and clammy. He kept eye contact with the blond as he pressed pepper kisses into his palm, seeing how Sono broke into soft sobs and hunched over in his chair, wincing in pain. Seijis smile faltered for a moment, but came back full force when he used this position to press his forehead against his lovers, speaking so clearly that he couldn't help the soft tears in his own eyes finally falling down his tanned cheeks.

"I love you so much, baby. I'm so sorry it hasn't seemed that way for a while...I made a promise to protect you and even though you won't tell me what's going on...I still trust you. Regardless of everything, I still trust you. And I trust you'll tell me when you're ready. But always know that my love for you isn't going to change. I'm not going anywhere. We're not breaking up. I won't let us get that far. I love you...for now and forever...do you still love me?"

Oh god, the sound Sono made was horrible and made a hard crack in Seijis heart. But the look in his eyes glistened bright, his free hand against his mouth and he struggled to find his own words. The proclamation of Seijis undying love for him...he couldn't take it. He wasn't emotionally prepared to handle something like this.

Still...he couldn't stop himself. With a heavy sob, Sono shot himself off the chair, knocking it over with a loud slam, and fell to his aching knees, throwing himself into Seijis arms and cried in his neck, breath hitching when he felt Seijis strong embrace wrap around him once again.

Words tumbled out of him faster than he could stop them.

"I love you! Seiji, I'm so sorry! Please...please don't leave me. I love you so much! You mean everything to me! I can't lose you! I'd die for you! I can't bare the thought of you being taken away from me! Please don't leave me! Don't leave me...please....don't go away...."

This outburst served many purposes, Seiji later came to find out, his suspicions suddenly confirmed even without Sono really telling him. He had a general idea of what was going on..really, it was oh so obvious...but he also knew Sono was not going to be upfront with him about it. That was a given.

But that's not what was important at this moment. Right now, with his lover emotionally crippled in his arms, Seiji knew that conversation would have to be addressed at a later date.

Ever so gently, he cupped Sonos cheek in his hand and forced his head up to look into his eyes...he smiled and rubbed his thumb under a wet eye, channeling his love and adoration into this man who melted his heart.

"I told you...I'm not going anywhere."

Seiji then kissed Sono with such love and such passion that he felt he had starved them both from for so long. He felt the blond sob into his mouth and clutch onto him like his life depended on it, his entire body shaking with emotions. His legs refused to function for him as Seiji pulled them both to their feet, immediately picking his lover up and carried him out of the kitchen, kissing him with fevered want and emotional need.

That night, they made love to each other, with Sono refusing to remove his shirt for comforts sake (his words) and Seiji was in no mood to argue with him about it. He kissed him as he gently prepped him, whispered his love for him as he pressed his cock into his body. Sono cried for him, as he often did, but held tightly to Seijis shoulders as he felt the man make such gentle love to his broken body, even if he couldn't see it.

They came together, with tears rolling down the blonds cheeks and Seiji kissed them away, whispering that he loved him so much and that no matter what happens, he'd always love him. They fell into an uneasy slumber, only manageable on Sonos part for being locked in Seijis embrace. It didn't scare him anymore....it didn't make him feel afraid.

That next morning, when Seiji was the first to wake up, he took a glance over at his love, seeing him sleep so peacefully (ish) next to him. Memories of the night before stung his heart, but he knew they needed to have this break through...even if Sono was still unwilling to share his worries with him.

He could see the shirt he was wearing ride up his hip a little, making Seiji just a tad curious as to why the blond was so afraid to remove it last night. He reached over, slowly, to lift the fabric up a touch and...well...it was about what he had expected.

A large purple bruise trailed from Sonos hip around to his abdomen. He could make out another dark bruise over his lower back, some irritated red scratch marks on his chest and his shoulder blades. It was....clearly concerning and Seiji felt his vision darken at the actual truth of his suspicions.

He knew why Sono didn't tell him...but that didn't make him feel any better about the situation. Even knowing he had yet to mention this to Yakura was bad enough and that was a road he wasn't willing to walk down yet. He needed Sono to admit to this first. Confronting him about it would send them back to square one.

When Sono started to shift in his sleep, grumbling a little, Seiji quickly let go of his shirt and waited until he could see those eyes open at him. When they did, he forced a smile and leaned down to kiss his head.

"Morning, love. Did you sleep well?"

Sono didn't answer him; he flushed a pretty pink color and looked away embarrassed. Seiji could only chuckled and kiss him again, mentioning that he was going to make some coffee and told Sono to just relax for today. Once again, his tone left no room for arguments, even as soft as it was.

The kitchen was exactly as they left it; the chair knocked over and two cups of cold tea sitting on the table. But that's not what Seiji focused on as he made his way to the coffee maker. His attention was focused on the wall next to the fridge....where he stuck a calendar and marked off certain days.

Now, it wasn't unusual for them to keep a calendar in almost every room; it was to remind them of upcoming deadlines, interview dates, meeting dates, etc. Though, this particular calendar Seiji was locked on gave him pause as he counted down the days until this Saturday....he knew he couldn't stop Sono from doing...whatever it was he was doing...and he also knew that if he tried, it would only backfire. He was only making things worse by allowing Sono to do this...but he knew that it would have to stop eventually. He would have to force his lover to come clean about this, one way or the other.

As he nursed a cup of coffee in his hand, eyes still locked to the calendar even as Sono limped in behind him and hugged him, Seiji tensed at the actual date that was this Saturday. The blond didn't seem to notice the jolt and instead nuzzled his back, mentioning in a weak voice that he smelt so good this morning.

Seiji turned around quickly to give his lover a proper kiss, setting his cup on the counter to wrap his arms around the love of his life.

The day went on as it usually would, only this time, both men seemed hesitant to be away from each other whereas before, Sono would actively go out of his way to avoid Seiji all day. Now, they were snuggled up on the couch, watching tv and it seemed like everything was right in the world...sort of.

Eventually, Sono dozed off on Seijis lap while the younger man fiddled with his phone, opening his emails and texts, internally debating on whether he was going to do this or not. He didn't want to be wrong about this...granted, he knew he wasn't wrong...the bruises were obvious...and he wanted to stop this before it got worse. He only now came to the not so clear conclusion as to exactly how long this could've been going on...but he still wasn't sure about that.

A heavy sigh left him as he put his phone down and ran his free hand through his lovers hair, carding through yellow locks and moving to gently rub his shoulder. The sound of the tv was merely white noise as Seiji payed very close attention to the soft breathing from his love. It was soothing, a welcome contrast from the past few weeks.

There was also a voice from behind him...right in his ear...he closed his eyes and shivered a little at the chill that came from such a livid tone.

.

.

.

.

_YOU PROMISED ME..._

_._

_._

_._

_._

"Yeah...I know I did..."

Seiji picked his phone up once again and opened his emails, tapped on the recent one from Oishi from the 'domestic disturbance' complaint and kept it short.

  
  


_From: yamada.seiji@xxxx.com_

_To: muito.oishi@TokyoPD_

_Subject: Saturday_

_I know this is going to sound weird....can I schedule a meeting with you and Yakura this Saturday at my place? Say...10 pm at the latest. It's just a hunch I have...but I think it's pretty serious. And before you ask, no, I don't have proof. But...I can't shake the feeling somethings going to happen that day. Can you both make time this weekend?_

  
  


Seiji sent it without re-reading it, a shaking sigh leaving his lips and his heart pounding against his chest.

He didn't have to wait too long for a response. His phone _dinged_ loudly, causing Sono to groan in annoyance and turn to nuzzle his face in Seijis stomach. The man rubbed his head with a smile before turning his attention back to his phone and his eyes widened, everything suddenly coming into focus.

For starters, he had two unread emails. The first one was Oishis response, simply stating that he would speak to Yakura about it when he gets back from a meeting, but sees no reason as to why they can't and he would pencil it in for Saturday at 10pm, admitting he's surprised by the late hour, but agrees nonetheless.

The second email....

Well...

It was unexpected. But it certainly answered more questions that Seiji wasn't even aware he had at that moment. And it also helped in his decision making for this upcoming weekend. The strange fear he felt in his chest was also a pretty big indicator that this Saturday was not going to go well. 

Judging from the tone of this particular email...well...Seiji knew what to expect...he didn't respond to it...he simply read it four or five times before turning his phone off and relaxed against the couch...the words still running through his brain like gunshots. 

  
  


_To: yamada.seiji@xxxx.com_

_From: Hanasaki.OtoVP@TKHtokyo_

_I'm going to try and keep this short and simple because not only am I a busy man, but I'm also a rather impatient one._

_My name is Hanasaki Oto, though I suppose that's obvious given the email. I received word, rather late I might add, from the head of my task team that you've been assisting in this case I've been handling...I'm sure you know all about Mizuno Takeo by now and if you don't, well, I envy you._

_That said...I've been trying to understand why someone with no police training or law enforcement experience has decided to butt into something as serious as this case. But given what Yakura has briefed me with thus far...I think I get it._

_Listen to me...very carefully._

_If any and I mean ANY harm comes to my brother on your watch, your head is going to be the first on the chopping block. Never mind my father or my mothers rage; you'll be dealing with me first._

_If I find out that anything has happened to him, regardless of you knowing or not..._

_I don't need to tell you what's happened to the last 2 people that touched him under our eyes._

_I don't expect you to respond...just know that I will know._

  
  


  
  



	12. Emails and SMS!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize if this wasn't the chapter you were expecting! But I really really REALLY had the weirdest desire to do this.
> 
> Like most people, I enjoy exposition and intense detail when it comes to reading. Though, as a writer, I lack that from time to time. This ridiculous addition probably exudes that in full. 
> 
> Nevertheless, I really wanted to showcase the conversations between Yakura and his boss during the events up to this point in the story. The timelines/date are a little weird and scattered, I realize that. But sometimes you just don't get certain pieces of information at that current moment. Life be like that and technology is dumb sometimes. 
> 
> If you want to skip this chapter, go right ahead. I won't be offended if you do. Stay tuned for 13! I'm taking my sweet time with that one so it may be delayed longer than I'd like it to be. 
> 
> Also, spoiler, this ends with the email from the last chapter. Just so we're clear. Not that it's a really big spoiler. I just wanted to cut the middle man out.

_To:Suruzawa.Yakura@TokyoPD_

_From: Hanasaki.OtoVP@TKHtokyo_

_Subject: Update Request 5/22_ _ nd _

_Good evening, Suruzawa. I understand it's late, but I'm closing up the office for the night and I was informed that you hadn't sent in an update in the last few days since your last email while arriving in Osaka. I trust everything is going well. Did you find him? Is he alright? Get back to me as soon as you can._

_To:Hanasaki.OtoVP@TKHtokyo_

_From:Suruzawa.Yakura@TokyoPD_

_Subject: Re: Update Request 5/22_ _ nd _

_Current date: 5/26_ _ th _ _._

_I apologize for the delay in my response, sir. It's been a little crazy since Oishi and I arrived._

_For starters, yes. Things are going well here. We have settled in with the Osaka police and have set up several groups around the city for monitoring. So far, it doesn't seem like Mizuno is in the city yet, but we'll keep the groups settled._

_In regards to your other question....yes, we found him. I'm embarrassed to admit it was a lot harder than I thought, considering he seems to have a lot of his information blacked out. Haven't yet figured out why. He's fine. Thriving, actually. It took me a moment to remember he's a famous manga-ka, what with the information we received from the Fukushima police Chief. I briefed him on the situation at hand and...well...he didn't take it very well, as you predicted. We're going to try and keep him briefed as much as we can should he ask for the information, but it doesn't seem like he wants to know._

_To: Suruzawa.Yakura@TokyoPD_

_From: Hanasaki.OtoVP@TKHtokyo_

_Subject: Re: Re: Update Request_

_I figured as much. I didn't expect him to take this in a positive light....regardless, it's best he know anyway. Thank you for the update. I'll be looking forward to any information you may uncover while you and your assistant are in Osaka. I'm putting a lot of faith in you, Suruzawa. I don't think I need to tell you how important this is for me and for my family._

_To: Hanasaki.OtoVP@TKHtokyo_

_From: Suruzawa.Yakura@TokyoPD_

_Subject: Update 6/30_

_I apologize for the last update once again sir. Things are heated here as of late._

_We've had numerous cases of 'sightings', and I use that word loosely, of Mizuno like activity in the city, but nothing concrete. Aside from one body we discovered yesterday in the Tennoji district...I feel as thought he's taunting us, Hanasaki-san. Like he knows where to hit and where we think to look before we even know it ourselves._

_Per your request with any Mizuno activity, I have provided a file regarding the boy we found last night. I hope you're not squeamish, sir, but it was a hard scene. Even with my years as a detective, this was almost enough to make me want to walk away._

_Apart from that, it doesn't seem like he has located Hanasaki-kun at all. I'm going to keep it that way._

_ATTCH: PDF file: Hidakawa Rei_

_To: Hanasaki.OtoVP@TKHtokyo_

_From: Suruzawa.Yakura@TokyoPD_

_Subject: 7/23_

_No new activity has been documented sir. The city is gearing up for this festival in a few days, so we're using that to set up more surveillance._

_On a side note, it baffles me sometimes as to how much you and Hanasaki-kun look alike. Whenever I visit his home, it's like I'm updating you in person...just not. Is that odd to say? It feels odd to say. Then again, I have met both your mother and father in Fukushima, so it's unsurprising how similar you all seem._

_Just a piece of humor. Sorry is it is out of place._

_To: Suruzawa.Yakura@TokyoPD_

_From: Hanasaki.OtoVP@TKHtokyo_

_Subject: Re: 7/23_

_Not weird at all, actually. You've met our parents, so you have an idea of where we both get our looks from (mother). I have most of our fathers build and facial features while my brother inherited his softer looks from our mom._

_Ah yes, if I recall, Osaka does this thing every year called Tenjin. A lot of places in Japan have festivals like this; I'm a little jealous. But I'm also grateful you're taking advantage of the situation and setting up blocks. Keep me posted as to what is going on. I'll be leaving my work computer at the office and locking my email as we're celebrating my sons birthday tomorrow. I know Miyuki will want to hear what's going on as well. She's probably more worried than I am, if that's possible, so I'll be available through texts or calls for the next few days._

_7/27_ _ th _

_(xxx)-(xxx-xxxx)_

_1:30 am_

_SMS:_

_Hanasaki-san, so sorry to text you at such a late hour; your email is still locked and you need to read this._

_Link :_ _ **Mass Murderer Claims New Victim: City On Alert** _

_There was another body found, only this time he was located in Umeda, which is where your brother lives, at the same apartment complex. I have my team searching the area, but it seems as though Mizuno only hit the 16 year old from the article. As it also happens, Hanasaki-kun was not present at the time during the attack, thank goodness. We're doing damage control here and I'm doing everything I can to make sure this area is under lock down in case something else happens._

_7/27_

_(xxx)-(xxx-xxxx)_

_1:45 am_

_SMS:_

_Why in the holy hell are you just NOW showing this to me?! I told you to keep me posted the MOMENT something happens and you wait two days to show me this snuff article?! Jesus christ..._

_Thank god he wasn't there. But if that's the case, where was he? Do you have any location on my brother at all? You text me in the middle of the night to tell me my brothers home was hit and scare the absolute shit out of me....send me the names of the families affected by Takeo immediately. ALL OF THEM. I can't allow them to think something isn't being done about their sons deaths. I understand it won't be enough, but I can damn sure give them some kind of peace of mind that the bastard will be taken down. And find out where my brother is and do what I'm paying you to do._

_8/17_

_(xxx)-(xxx-xxxx)_

_8:22 am_

_SMS:_

_Hanasaki-san, I can assure you that your brother is safe. At least at this very moment._

_I understand that this is only going to further anger you and I take full responsibility for not sending this in an email as well as being unbelievably late with the actual briefing._

_Oishi received a call from a witness at Hanasaki-kuns apartment complex, informing us that a strange man had broken into a fourth floor home sometime during the events of the festivel in July. The witness claimed that he recalled the resident of the unit having blond hair, but the person who broke in had black hair. We immediately tried to contact your brother, but we received no answer. After making a call to his emergency contact, Oishi and I made our way out to his building with a team of forensics._

_Sir...Mizuno had planted things there. Things from what I can assume came from Hanasaki-kuns childhood._

_Once again, I take full responsibility for not keeping you up to date and for not seeing this coming. But Hanasaki-kun is moved out of his home for the time being and is staying with his partner. I have my men stationed around the area in case Mizuno tries something else, but so far, nothing has come up._

_To: Suruzawa.Yakura@TokyoPD_

_From: Hanasaki.OtoVP@TKHtokyo_

_Subject: (no subject)_

_Current date: 9/9_ _ th _

_I have half a mind to fire your ass for such negligence._

_I don't even know where to begin with this; I do my own research when I feel like you're keeping things from me, something I had assumed you knew not to do, Suruzawa. But at the same time, I can confirm much of everything you've sent my way, so I suppose I can't be that pissed._

_But I am._

_You need to understand the reality of the situation. My professional attitude has completely been tapped out with this investigation. I get that you've been hunting Mizuno down for a long time...but whereas my family is concerned, we've been hunting this bastard for 15 years. My father is blowing up my phone every day, demanding his own updates regarding the case. I don't know what to tell him anymore. I promised him that I'd make sure his son remained safe and now I don't know how to deal with this. Fuck, I'm not even sure what else to write in this email._

_Is he truly safe? Is his work partner keeping him safe? At least answer me that._

_To: Hanasaki.OtoVP@TKHtokyo_

_From: Suruzawa.Yakura@TokyoPD_

_Subject: (no subject)_

_Current date: 9/12_ _ th _

_Oto....I understand your worry. Believe me, I do. I've been well informed of how much this investigation means to your family. Chief Nazawa-san has filled us in, albeit briefly, of what Mizuno has done to your brother....and to Naoki-kun, when he was alive._

_I cannot express my regret enough for my part in not keeping your brother properly protected. But I can assure you he's safe where he is now. His partner (not work partner, boyfriend actually) has been assisting us to the extent of his abilities. Rather, he's the one we've been giving updates to as Hanasaki-kun has refused to be kept up to speed, which honestly, we felt was for the best. Given how he reacted to our first visit several months back and how he seemed when he found him when Mizuno planted all those things, Hanasaki-kun seems to be mentally....unhinged, is the best way to word it. Perhaps emotionally as well._

_But I promise you sir, we are taking ever precaution to keep him protected now. Hanasaki-kun is safe where he is now and Yamada-kun has made sure he's well taken care of. And I can also promise that when something happens, this time, I shall update you immediately as I get more information._

_9/14_ _ th _

_(xxx)-(xxx-xxxx)_

_11:46 pm_

_SMS:_

_I'm sorry....boyfriend?_

_You want to run that by me again, Suruzawa? You mean to tell me you've been hiding this, rather important, piece of information from me? Is he a cop? Part of your team? Damn it you cannot just spring that bombshell on me like that!_

_And unhinged? Sono's unhinged? What the fuck does that mean? You can't tell me he's....Suruzawa...what else have you been keeping from me? Is he ok? What the hell do you mean he's mentally unhinged? Please tell me he's not in some mental hospital! Did his so called 'boyfriend' put him in a hospital?? so help me god if he did..._

_9/14_

_(xxx)-(xxx-xxxx)_

_11:48 pm_

_SMS:_

_No! Sir, I am so sorry for not informing of this! I was certain Oishi had been keeping you informed of the personal rather than the professional._

_Hanasaki-kun is not, I repeat, NOT in a hospital. I think he has made his disdain for that pretty clear, according to Yamada-kun._

_And I'm quite surprised at your reaction to the idea that your brother has a boyfriend. If I may be so bold, Hanasaki-kun is not unattractive at all. Neither is Yamada-kun, honestly. And the latter has been very protective of your brother since this investigation was brought to their attention._

_9/14_

_(xxx)-(xxx-xxxx)_

_11:49 pm_

_SMS:_

_I say unhinged because it seemed as though your brother has been struggling to handle this in a proper way, though I can't really say what the 'proper way' would be. From what I've understood from you, your father, Nazawa-san and Yamada-kun (vaguely), Hanasaki-kun has been dealing with plenty of demons in his late teens and early adult life and hasn't had the most healthiest of ways to deal with it. He seems like the kind of person to lock it all away...he's not well, sir. By just looking at him these days, it's like he's constantly on the verge of a mental breakdown. Yamada-kun has done a fine job of keeping him calm, as far as I can tell._

_9/15_

_(xxx)-(xxx-xxxx)_

_12:12 am_

_SMS:_

_Fuck._

_I didn't expect that at all...I don't know why I'm so surprised._

_Thank you, Suruzawa. I appreciate this information. But if you could do me one more solid?_

_9/15_

_(xxx)-(xxx-xxxx)_

_12:13 am_

_SMS:_

_Of course, Hanasaki-san._

_9/15_

_(xxx)-(xxx-xxxx)_

_12:15 am_

_SMS:_

_I want this mans name, email, everything you can give me. If he thinks he's doing a better job of protecting my brother than my own men, I demand to know what his motivations are._

_9/15_

_(xxx)-(xxx-xxxx)_

_12:17 am_

_SMS:_

_Sir....are you sure you don't just want to threaten him? That sounds more like you right now then just asking professional questions._

_9/15_

_(xxx)-(xxx-xxxx)_

_12:18 am_

_SMS:_

_Then again, I know better than to doubt that. And you technically are my boss. I'll have Oishi send you the information in the morning. If you can wait that long._

_9/15_

_(xxx)-(xxx-xxxx)_

_12:19 am_

_SMS:_

__

_To:Hanasaki.OtoVP@TKHtokyo_

_From:Muito.Oishi@TokyoPD_

_Subject: Requested information_

_Here's the info you asked for, sir. Yakura-sama was pretty adamant on me getting this to you as soon as I could. If it's not too much trouble though, don't scare him too badly. He's a good guy; he treats Sono-kun really well and I can tell they really care about each other. So if you're going to threaten him, at least be civil about it._

_Name: Yamada Seiji_

_Age: 22_

_Occupation: Manga-ka (with publication Gaksei)_

_Email: yamada.seiji@xxxx.com_

_Like I said sir, be civil. And...if I were you, take some time to think about what you're going to say. Going off of your emotions isn't going to help. I recently met with Sono-kun and he's not all that well. He says he is, but Yamada-kun has been by his side like glue. So please don't say something you might regret later._

_Also, please don't fire me for speaking out of line...I like my job_

_To:yamada.seiji@xxxx.com_

_From: Hanasaki.OtoVP@TKHtokyo_

_Subject (no subject)_

_Current date: 10/10_

_I'm going to try and keep this short and simple because not only am I a busy man, but I'm also a rather impatient one._

_My name is Hanasaki Oto, though I suppose that's obvious given the email. I received word, rather late I might add, from the head of my task team that you've been assisting in this case I've been handling...I'm sure you know all about Mizuno Takeo by now and if you don't, well, I envy you._

_That said...I've been trying to understand why someone with no police training or law enforcement experience has decided to butt into something as serious as this case. But given what Yakura has briefed me with thus far...I think I get it._

_Listen to me...very carefully._

_If any and I mean ANY harm comes to my brother on your watch, your head is going to be the first on the chopping block. Never mind my father or my mothers rage; you'll be dealing with me first._

_If I find out that anything has happened to him, regardless of you knowing or not..._

_I don't need to tell you what's happened to the last 2 people that touched him under our eyes._

_I don't expect you to respond...just know that I will know._

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed this work, don't forget to hit that kudos <3 and leave me a comment! I always enjoy the opinions of others and always look forward to hearing what others liked about the chapter!  
> If you wanna read more of my work, hit me up and follow my archive!  
> And if you wanna follow me on IG @fabskull, where I just post about every day shenanigans, hit me up!
> 
> See you all in the next work!


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